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Should your S.O./Spouse have a say so if they feel you are too thin or too large?

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Replies

  • heiliskrimsli
    heiliskrimsli Posts: 735 Member
    pinuplove wrote: »
    pinuplove wrote: »
    Golbat wrote: »
    You have to eat a certain amount of food when you're pregnant. If you are taking medicine that slows your metabolism, and you are on bed rest, you might gain weight. It isn't a sign of weakness or laziness to do so. Pregnant women in situations like my friend are given diets they have to follow so it isn't even up to them what they eat. If you were a doctor, you'd understand that you can't restrict calories too much when pregnant, especially if you are in a high risk pregnancy.

    The additional calorie needs during pregnancy are (above maintenance level when not pregnant)
    • The first trimester does not require any extra calories.
    • During the second trimester, an additional 340 calories a day are recommended.
    • For the third trimester, the recommendation is 450 calories more a day than when not pregnant.

    Source

    If your activity level is reduced due to bed rest, your TDEE and therefore your maintenance level is lower, which means the total calorie intake even with the extra requirements is lower than it would be for someone who is more active. That absolutely can be controlled for, and I don't know a single doctor who advises uncontrolled eating or weight gain during pregnancy especially in cases with complications.

    While your friend may have been given a specific list of foods she should eat (what to eat), that doesn't preclude eating too much of those things, or of exceeding a reasonable calorie intake by adding additional other foods not on the list to those items.

    Pregnancy, even one involving bed rest, is not a magical reason to pack on unlimited pounds.

    That's all well and good until you're so sick 24/7 that you want to die and the only thing that holds the nausea back is nibbling on saltine crackers and sipping ginger ale. Yes, it is possible to gain weight with morning sickness. But that doesn't file well under your 'this is the one true way' philosophy. Nor do any number of other crazy things that happen when one is growing a person.

    Could you explain to me the metabolic process by which vomiting causes weight gain?


    Golbat wrote: »
    I'm not that impressed by Dr. Google citations from a search engine that is not familiar (and was probably not asked) about the myriad of complications that can go along with pregnancy.

    How about The US National Library of Medicine?.

    Are they qualified enough for you?

    Some women experience ongoing nausea without vomiting. I vomited a total of 1 time in 2 pregnancies.

    How, specifically, does nausea cause weight gain?
  • heiliskrimsli
    heiliskrimsli Posts: 735 Member
    Golbat wrote: »
    I also like how you said earlier that a woman should gain "up to 25 pounds" earlier when your website says the general guideline is 25 to 35 pounds.

    I apologize for the typo. The 2 key is right next to the 3 key, and my accuracy rate is not precisely 100%.
  • Golbat
    Golbat Posts: 276 Member
    Well then you can see how much weight you can gain. 35 pounds times two pregnancies. Two 7-pounds babies are only 14 pounds of that. There's a bit of water weight lost too, but it's still a noticeable amount of weight gain, and that's for two normal pregnancies. Mine thankfully were pretty normal, but women I've known with high risk pregnancies have gained more, and it takes longer to take the weight off when you are tired from a baby being up at all hours and have to arrange for someone else to watch the baby while you exercise.
  • cqbkaju
    cqbkaju Posts: 1,011 Member
    edited April 2017
    Golbat wrote: »
    I also like how you said earlier that a woman should gain "up to 25 pounds" earlier when your website says the general guideline is 25 to 35 pounds.

    Actually https://medlineplus.gov/ency/patientinstructions/000584.htm says:

    "The amount of healthy weight gain in pregnancy varies. These are general guidelines:

    Normal total weight gain for a healthy woman is 25 to 35 pounds (11 to 16 kg).
    Overweight women should gain only 10 to 20 pounds (4 to 9 kg) during pregnancy.
    Underweight women or women with multiples (twins or more) should gain 35 to 45 pounds (16 to 20 kg) in pregnancy."

    Since it seems we are talking in general about being overweight, "Overweight women should gain only 10 to 20 pounds (4 to 9 kg) during pregnancy." appears to be applicable.

    But back to the discussion...

    If my spouse is looking unhealthy, I say something.

    Last time I said something she ended up going to a doctor for an insurance check-up and ended up on transfusions.
    Previously I told her that her diet (as a vegetarian) was poor and a doctor eventually told her to eat more fish at least.
  • heiliskrimsli
    heiliskrimsli Posts: 735 Member
    Golbat wrote: »
    Well then you can see how much weight you can gain. 35 pounds times two pregnancies. Two 7-pounds babies are only 14 pounds of that. There's a bit of water weight lost too, but it's still a noticeable amount of weight gain, and that's for two normal pregnancies. Mine thankfully were pretty normal, but women I've known with high risk pregnancies have gained more, and it takes longer to take the weight off when you are tired from a baby being up at all hours and have to arrange for someone else to watch the baby while you exercise.

    So you think that the majority of weight gained during pregnancy is supposed to be permanent?

    Most of it should be baby and additional fluids including increased blood supply, and most women who stay within the guidelines are capable of losing that additional weight pretty quickly. Those who breastfeed even more so.
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,647 Member
    cqbkaju wrote: »
    Golbat wrote: »
    I also like how you said earlier that a woman should gain "up to 25 pounds" earlier when your website says the general guideline is 25 to 35 pounds.

    Actually it says:

    "The amount of healthy weight gain in pregnancy varies. These are general guidelines:

    Normal total weight gain for a healthy woman is 25 to 35 pounds (11 to 16 kg).
    Overweight women should gain only 10 to 20 pounds (4 to 9 kg) during pregnancy.
    Underweight women or women with multiples (twins or more) should gain 35 to 45 pounds (16 to 20 kg) in pregnancy."

    Since it seems we are talking in general about being overweight, "Overweight women should gain only 10 to 20 pounds (4 to 9 kg) during pregnancy." appears to be applicable.

    But back to the discussion...

    No the debate is weight gain. Can go from normal weight to over weight by getting pregnant.
  • Golbat
    Golbat Posts: 276 Member
    I never said it was supposed to be permanent, in fact I said the opposite. Some of it, as I said, is the baby, some is fluids with the pregnancy, but you're still stuck with a lot of weight. Breastfeeding does help, but also makes it harder to get away to exercise. Most women don't lose the weight that quickly, especially those who get pregnant right away again.
  • cqbkaju
    cqbkaju Posts: 1,011 Member
    edited April 2017
    To your point @Golbat , 35 lbs for the first pregnancy plus 20 lbs for the second child (both "high-end" per the link) is "only" 55 lbs.

    Women putting on 70+ lbs from having a couple of kids is often a matter of making excuses and rationalizations.
    The reality is that the whole "eating for two" thing is a myth and any decent Doctor will tell you that.

    My wife didn't even know she was pregnant until she went to the hospital with a "kidney stone".
    Her period didn't stop and she gained maybe 10 or 15 lbs.
    Daughter was/is completely healthy, if a bit of a surprise originally.

  • Golbat
    Golbat Posts: 276 Member
    I'm the mom of an LGBT kid so I should know better than to make that assumption. Sorry!

    Some of the weight does stay with you after you give birth. Talk to 100 moms, and every single one of them will still have weight after they give birth. You're saying every single woman who has a baby is wrong for gaining weight with the pregnancy? I'm saying your assumptions are unrealistic.
  • heiliskrimsli
    heiliskrimsli Posts: 735 Member
    Golbat wrote: »
    You said I shouldn't assume who you're having sex with, and I agree that I should know better than make any assumptions about who anyone has sex with because I'm the mom to an LGBT kid, and you think that means I am assuming you are gay. I just said that I should not make any assumptions, so I am not assuming anything. We appear to not communicate well.

    May I ask why that led you to mention LGBT?
  • heiliskrimsli
    heiliskrimsli Posts: 735 Member
    Golbat wrote: »
    You said that I made an assumption about who you would have sex with. You could be a woman. You could be LGBT. There are probably other possibilities as well. I was assuming you were a man and that you were straight. I should not make any assumptions at all, and I should know better to make assumptions about who anyone would have sex with because I have a kid who is LGBT. You seem very concerned about me mentioning my LGBT kid. I don't know or care what your sexuality is or what your gender is, and I will make no assumptions.

    OK.

    How about the math of that magic 70 pound weight gain then?
  • Golbat
    Golbat Posts: 276 Member
    I never said you'd gain 70 pounds. I said some of that weight is the baby, and some is fluids from the pregnancy. There is still a noticeable weight gain, and it can be hard to take off quickly when you are the main caretaker for a baby.