WHY do people CHEAT?
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4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »... why does it feel like there's still more shame/stigma (even in this thread) against women who engage in extramarital affairs, than men who do? If one is wrong, then both are equally wrong, yes? So why do women get more flak for being sexually aggressive and/or pursuant in their desires?
Seems kinda... double standard-ish.
I'm not sure I agree with this, it seems like guys who cheat are just "self centered *kitten* players", women who cheat are "looking for something the relationship is lacking".
See, I don't agree with that. Men are complex creatures, too. They have needs, wants, desires. We may be biologically different, but I think our innate humanness is essentially the same, regardless of the gender.
I didn't mean to imply that as fact, or my opinion, just my impression of the stereotype
Gotcha. I might have misread. :laugh:0 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »... why does it feel like there's still more shame/stigma (even in this thread) against women who engage in extramarital affairs, than men who do? If one is wrong, then both are equally wrong, yes? So why do women get more flak for being sexually aggressive and/or pursuant in their desires?
Seems kinda... double standard-ish.
I'm not sure I agree with this, it seems like guys who cheat are just "self centered *kitten* players", women who cheat are "looking for something the relationship is lacking".
See, I don't agree with that. Men are complex creatures, too. They have needs, wants, desires. We may be biologically different, but I think our innate humanness is essentially the same, regardless of the gender.
I didn't mean to imply that as fact, or my opinion, just my impression of the stereotype
Gotcha. I might have misread. :laugh:
I kind of want to hit 'disagree' on all of your posts since you had mentioned it. It's like a giant, red, candy-like button. . .
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CanesGalactica wrote: »4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »... why does it feel like there's still more shame/stigma (even in this thread) against women who engage in extramarital affairs, than men who do? If one is wrong, then both are equally wrong, yes? So why do women get more flak for being sexually aggressive and/or pursuant in their desires?
Seems kinda... double standard-ish.
I'm not sure I agree with this, it seems like guys who cheat are just "self centered *kitten* players", women who cheat are "looking for something the relationship is lacking".
See, I don't agree with that. Men are complex creatures, too. They have needs, wants, desires. We may be biologically different, but I think our innate humanness is essentially the same, regardless of the gender.
I didn't mean to imply that as fact, or my opinion, just my impression of the stereotype
Gotcha. I might have misread. :laugh:
I kind of want to hit 'disagree' on all of your posts since you had mentioned it. It's like a giant, red, candy-like button. . .
That's okay. I'm counting up and accumulating disagrees to see how many I can get in one thread for my opinions. :laugh: I'm currently at... 25 for this thread alone. Gotta try harder.1 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »... why does it feel like there's still more shame/stigma (even in this thread) against women who engage in extramarital affairs, than men who do? If one is wrong, then both are equally wrong, yes? So why do women get more flak for being sexually aggressive and/or pursuant in their desires?
Seems kinda... double standard-ish.
I'm not sure I agree with this, it seems like guys who cheat are just "self centered *kitten* players", women who cheat are "looking for something the relationship is lacking".
See, I don't agree with that. Men are complex creatures, too. They have needs, wants, desires. We may be biologically different, but I think our innate humanness is essentially the same, regardless of the gender.
I didn't mean to imply that as fact, or my opinion, just my impression of the stereotype
Gotcha. I might have misread. :laugh:
I kind of want to hit 'disagree' on all of your posts since you had mentioned it. It's like a giant, red, candy-like button. . .
That's okay. I'm counting up and accumulating disagrees to see how many I can get in one thread for my opinions. :laugh: I'm currently at... 25 for this thread alone. Gotta try harder.
You might have friend requests from s131952, s131953, s131954, s131955 . . . s131998 and so forth soon
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CanesGalactica wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »... why does it feel like there's still more shame/stigma (even in this thread) against women who engage in extramarital affairs, than men who do? If one is wrong, then both are equally wrong, yes? So why do women get more flak for being sexually aggressive and/or pursuant in their desires?
Seems kinda... double standard-ish.
Why would it be more easy for women to cheat on say Tinder than it would be for a man? You're both still using the app to get what you want. It doesn't exist anymore (I think), but Ashley Madison used to be predominantly used by men looking for extramarital affairs and it was quite successful at what its job was.
It's all because of the dynamic. In human sociology as we know it, men generally seek out/approach the women, and women do not tend to chase men - some women are even repulsed by the idea of chasing or approaching a man. Then with growing users on these apps, it ends up looking like 200 men focusing on one female profile. This is the bizarre reality of it and this is in essence why it's easier - a women just has to dissect all the profiles, and a man goes unnoticed or ignored because of the large volume of "creeps" she already had to deal with.
Okay, I see where you're coming from. The sociological aspect as opposed to a technological one.
It does not help that women (at least in most Western societies) are taught that chasing after men is beneath them and that a man should "work for" his desire to be with a woman. We are also shamed for being the aggressors as though that somehow makes us "less than" or "easy".
And most of us have had this ingrained into us since we were very young without even realizing it.
I have never used Tinder or a dating app/website of any sort, so I am unsure of their algorithms or mechanics. You're just reinforcing my desire to never use them, though. :laugh:4 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »... why does it feel like there's still more shame/stigma (even in this thread) against women who engage in extramarital affairs, than men who do? If one is wrong, then both are equally wrong, yes? So why do women get more flak for being sexually aggressive and/or pursuant in their desires?
Seems kinda... double standard-ish.
I'm not sure I agree with this, it seems like guys who cheat are just "self centered *kitten* players", women who cheat are "looking for something the relationship is lacking".
See, I don't agree with that. Men are complex creatures, too. They have needs, wants, desires. We may be biologically different, but I think our innate humanness is essentially the same, regardless of the gender.
I didn't mean to imply that as fact, or my opinion, just my impression of the stereotype
Gotcha. I might have misread. :laugh:
I kind of want to hit 'disagree' on all of your posts since you had mentioned it. It's like a giant, red, candy-like button. . .
That's okay. I'm counting up and accumulating disagrees to see how many I can get in one thread for my opinions. :laugh: I'm currently at... 25 for this thread alone. Gotta try harder.
You might have friend requests from s131952, s131953, s131954, s131955 . . . s131998 and so forth soon
Sweet. :laugh:0 -
been catching up on this thread. pairs really well with this song imho
https://youtu.be/tdsJI8Wc2D4
anyhow i think the next derivative thread should be "when was the last time something was your fault (real answers only!)"5 -
I was cheated on and I believe 100% that it was a communication issue. When he told me what he needed, I thought he was a whiney child. He wasn't, I was just selfish and couldn't be bothered with what I considered neediness. That wasn't fair of me, and since I wasn't fulfilling his needs he cheated. He really should have said if you can't be the person I need we should split. Instead, he slept with a 20-year-old when he was 35ish. Now he's on his 4th marriage and has cheated on the first 3 and I can only assume will or has with the 4th. I think it's almost always communication issues.
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Motorsheen wrote: »
This is an interesting perspective on Maslow's hierarchy of needs and I am here for it
Stupid Ole' Maslow can order his own pizza.3 -
Motorsheen wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »
This is an interesting perspective on Maslow's hierarchy of needs and I am here for it
Stupid Ole' Maslow can order his own pizza.
Maybe if he ate more pizza he wouldn't have felt the need to make whiny pyramids2 -
Motorsheen wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »
This is an interesting perspective on Maslow's hierarchy of needs and I am here for it
Stupid Ole' Maslow can order his own pizza.
Maybe if he ate more pizza he wouldn't have felt the need to make whiny pyramids
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Finishiitnow wrote: »
As have I. One woman in particular whose cheating became common knowledge because she was very indiscreet about it, with both her first and second marriages. I think that having the entire workplace knowing about her behaviour may have been part of the thrill.
It got to the point where coworkers felt so badly for her second husband they would plead with her to just end the marriage instead of making a fool out of him. She would just laugh and tell them, "I'm going to eat my cake and have it too".3 -
Motorsheen wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »
This is an interesting perspective on Maslow's hierarchy of needs and I am here for it
Stupid Ole' Maslow can order his own pizza.
Maybe if he ate more pizza he wouldn't have felt the need to make whiny pyramids
Same thing but better0 -
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Finishiitnow wrote: »
As have I. One woman in particular whose cheating became common knowledge because she was very indiscreet about it, with both her first and second marriages. I think that having the entire workplace knowing about her behaviour may have been part of the thrill.
It got to the point where coworkers felt so badly for her second husband they would plead with her to just end the marriage instead of making a fool out of him. She would just laugh and tell them, "I'm going to eat my cake and have it too".
3 -
Finishiitnow wrote: »
As have I. One woman in particular whose cheating became common knowledge because she was very indiscreet about it, with both her first and second marriages. I think that having the entire workplace knowing about her behaviour may have been part of the thrill.
It got to the point where coworkers felt so badly for her second husband they would plead with her to just end the marriage instead of making a fool out of him. She would just laugh and tell them, "I'm going to eat my cake and have it too".
are they hiring ??1 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Finishiitnow wrote: »
As have I. One woman in particular whose cheating became common knowledge because she was very indiscreet about it, with both her first and second marriages. I think that having the entire workplace knowing about her behaviour may have been part of the thrill.
It got to the point where coworkers felt so badly for her second husband they would plead with her to just end the marriage instead of making a fool out of him. She would just laugh and tell them, "I'm going to eat my cake and have it too".
Do you mean a cuckold fantasy/fetish?2
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