WOMEN AGES 50 + FOR DECEMBER 2019

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  • OregonMother
    OregonMother Posts: 1,565 Member
    edited December 2019
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    Good day/evening.

    Rori -- I am so sorry you are dealing with this, but I think you are being wise. You have done all you can and have given your husband a good, comfortable, and safe life.

    Allie -- Good luck with the new job prospect!

    Michelle -- I am sorry you are dealing with grief from Denise. I do wonder if she is making excuses because she wants to create her own holiday traditions, now that she has a child? You know her best, of course, and I believe in mother's intuition when it comes to our children -- we know when something isn't right.

    Machka -- I am sorry that you are also facing future changes with your husband's care/living situation, however far in the future that ends up being.

    I have been in a purging mood, and I agree with those of you who are energized with every bag/box of clutter that goes out of the house. It is like a weight lifted. Some of you may remember that my husband is a hoarder, so we have huge conflicts related to this. He did agree to let me purge a few things, so we have filled 3.5 small dumpster loads (think the size out behind a restaurant or business), and it has made a dent on his stuff. He was getting nervous, so wanted me to recall the dumpster after the third load, but I hadn't actually gone through much of my stuff yet. He is in Sweden/Denmark this week, so I am taking the opportunity to go through all of my stuff. The dumpster will be dumped tomorrow, so tonight will be my last night. I am basically down to a few boxes of momentos that I want to keep, kitchen stuff that I use, clothes that I wear, and furniture/household decorative items that make me happy. My husband's junk is still all over the place, but I believe him when he says that he has purged just about as much as he is comfortable doing. We are buying a lot of shelving for the garage, so we can at least get the stuff up off the floor and out of the way. That will improve my mood greatly.
    My oldest son and I were talking about my husband's hoarding at dinner the other night. My husband comes from a very poor family, where even having enough food was an issue. So in addition to his (and his mother's) hoarding tendencies, he also has food anxiety. I can easily skip a meal and am emotionally fine with it. (If I go too long, I do begin sugar crashing, and I get dizzy, weak, and a little sick, but that's a physical, not an emotional thing.) If he misses a meal or if we are a little late getting to a meal, he claims to be "starving." Anyway, I have noticed that many homeless people are also hoarders. There is a couple camped out by the freeway on ramp I take to work, and at first, they just had a tent and a couple chairs. As the weeks have gone by, their junk keeps growing. And it really does look like junk. My son pointed out that it is a "scarcity mindset." And that makes sense. When you don't have anything, or haven't had anything, you need to keep everything because if you need it and you don't have it, you won't have the resources to buy it. That describes my husband perfectly. He has boxes and boxes of all kinds of electrical parts, so that he will be able to fix/replace anything that breaks. So I am trying to be sensitive to that and understand that to not have something that he might possibly need in the future would fill him with as much or more anxiety as his having it all in the first place causes me. So we are trying to at least organize it. Whew. Still, if I survive him, it is all going somewhere -- not in my garage!

    Kim -- I am so relieved you got your electrical issues sorted out. You are so resourceful, and I am impressed that you were able to adapt and keep up with your work while you were having issues.

    Janet -- I am praying for your daughter and for you, too. It is so difficult to watch our children suffer.

    Much love to all and welcome to the new women joining us.

    Flea
    Willamette Valley, OR
  • 1948Peachy
    1948Peachy Posts: 1,511 Member
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    Machka ~ That was some conversation you had with your co-worker! LOL

    Rori ~ Prayers that all will go well with your husband’s transition to assisted living.

    Heather ~ I immediately knew that baby was you in the photograph. You still have that happy smile.

    SuzieQ ~ It seems that you are in a place in your life where you might feel lonely now but you acknowledge that you can do what is needed to create a more fulfilling life for yourself. Your insight that “this too shall pass” is so true.

    Barbara ~ Love the way you described the choral music.

    Katla ~ I hear you about loving the internet. It is my lifeline as I have to force myself to leave the comfort of my nest (the computer/tv room) and get out among people...even people I am close to.

    Carol in Damp Cold Georgia
  • 1948Peachy
    1948Peachy Posts: 1,511 Member
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    Flea ~ My husband is also a hoarder! For the life of me, I can't understand why we can't get rid of about half the stuff in our basement. A lot of it is broken and useless, but, there it stays. When we pass our son is going to have to hire a lot of help to clean it out.

    Carol in GA
  • JRsLateInLifeMom
    JRsLateInLifeMom Posts: 2,275 Member
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    Flea- Food Hoarder here too but it’s me! During abuse food was withheld so I tend to hoard it.Hubby is the you need something?? I’ll get it type! Comes home with a 50lb bag beats his chest as to say “Me Caveman...Me Provide Food for Long Winter!” Together since he grew up with little also we can get out of hand easily. I’m having to handle my own self to slow it down. I hide candy to food in a few spots still plus allowing less to be stored up. Yes still got a 50lb bag of Jasmine Rice even. It’s not easy but had to realize it myself ..others pointed it out I couldn’t see it. Knowing I have a few candy bars hidden in the bathroom a bag of candy leftovers in JRs closet makes me feel safe. I have to have canned food y 2-3 water jugs . The rest I’m bringing down to none or smaller numbers as I go. Now if fridge is empty I’m okay my brains starting to understand food in freezer y pantry means don’t need it in fridge to pantries too.
    Amber Tx

    Give Hubby a food item stash somewhere for when dinners late like tuna pouches. Just in a spot for him only. Gives a safety feeling soon don’t need to go to it.
  • OregonMother
    OregonMother Posts: 1,565 Member
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    kevrit wrote: »
    DH been a bear since he started drinking again. Affecting my mood too. Not able to catch up due to moods I guess you could say.

    But, I’m still here and holding my weight 2-4 pounds above my goal.... So close yet so far..

    RvRita

    I'm so sorry, Rita.

    Flea
    Willamette Valley, OR
  • SuziQ113
    SuziQ113 Posts: 1,520 Member
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    auntiebk wrote: »
    SuziQ I'm so with you about organic sugar or honey in moderation vs artificial sweeteners. Wow, your story about your co-worker, what a blessing you returned to her. You inspire me. Hoping the new year brings you joy and prosperity and fun. ((hugs)) Have been trying to grow pineapples from tops indoors, but the leaves always dry out and the stems rot. Any tips?

    Lighter, lovelies!
    f8qt1s098sxm.gifBarbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD

    I have never attempted to grow pineapples inside. I simply plant the top outside with no prep/rooting. They are bromeliads and somewhat tropical. Since Florida is so humid I would suggest spraying and watering from the top and then pouring off the drainage. I have a friend in GA who grows them in pots outside. He just pulls them in to the garage when freezing or below. We do not get too many freezing days here (maybe 3-5 during a winter) and mine are fine. I also tend to ignore them - they can go without water for quite a long time here (5 days) even during the hottest days.

    Found this great article - I never strip down to core - I think that step can be skipped.
    https://todayshomeowner.com/how-to-grow-pineapples-as-houseplants/

  • ydailey
    ydailey Posts: 516 Member
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    Happy Dewey Decimal System Day!

    "December 10, 1851, is the birthday of Melvil Dewey (1851-1931) inventor of the Dewey Decimal system of library classification. As the most widely used library classification system, the Dewey Decimal Classification (DDC) or Dewey Decimal System has been in use since 1876 ... when American Librarian Melvil Dewey developed and established it. Divided into ten main categories, the numerical system arranges mostly non-fiction publications. ... Found in 135 countries around the world, the DDC has been translated into 30 different languages."

    Suzi - Congratulations on your new bike! If you haven't already checked out the Motor Maids, you might enjoy doing so. The organization was founded in 1940 to unite women motorcyclists in promoting motorcycle interest. Some of my MM sisters have literally been riding since before I was born and are still active riders. I can put you in touch withe Utah/Northern Nevada district director if you're interested. I would say the Motor Maids as a group are more riders than bikers although we have members and "security" (i.e., Mister Motor Maids) from all across the rider spectrum. It's a great group for finding riding buddies as well as networking when you're on the road.

    Michele - I'd like to hear the steel drum band! We have a couple of Caribbean Christmas CDs that feature some steel drum music.

    Heather - The cello is nearly as big as Edie!

    Barbara - A deep dental cleaning a few years back was all it took to get my attention. I was so wired afterward I nearly got in a wreck on the way home. I started keeping a pack of my favorite dental floss on my desk and one next to the TV remote. Now whenever I'm watching TV or Netflix I can floss at the same time.

    SueBDew - Oh, how scary! So glad you and your grandson are OK. I hope that driver gets a ticket and a big hike in their insurance rate!

    Allie - I hope that dream job comes true for you!

    Janet - So happy your daughter found the strength to ask for help. You and she are in my thoughts.

    Rebecca - Hurray for getting your photos back! It was kind of you to lend them to the new owner.

    Welcome to the new arrivals!


    I got way behind over the weekend and had to skim to catch up, but the good news I stayed on track with my eating although we did miss one gym workout.

    I'm so grateful we'll be with family for Christmas. Not only will we enjoy their company, but it means I won't have to ship any gifts! I pay into a Christmas and birthday account all year so everything was paid for by the time I started shopping. The last Christmas present arrived today and just needs to be wrapped. Oh, except for Philip... I still don't know what I'm going to get him!

    Yesterday it was 81 degrees and sunny, today it's 43 degrees and drizzly. I was dragging, but we went for our workout and that helped warm me up. I worked hard, too!

    Getting ready for Christmas Day in the Hill Country with my family and an early or belated Christmas with Philip's parents. My niece, nephew, and I will be decorating the river house this weekend. We still owe my in-laws birthday dinners out so we're floating a balloon to see how they'd feel about just going out to a nice restaurant for our "off-Christmas" Christmas dinner. Guess we'll see what they say.

    I'm about as ready for the holidays as I'm likely to get. I love Christmas music so now I'm looking forward to just enjoying the season a bit.

    Merry 394.266 to those who celebrate it!

    -Yvonne in TX
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 9,699 Member
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    Home all day reclining loveseat didnt show yet
    Depending on weather in am I might end up by myself at work all day.. but we shall see had all 3 pups here with me today.. it was lovely.
    Rori- you will do just fine.. ,you need to do what is best for you both.. it will work out.. give you a much needed break with professional care.. have the VA find a highly rated one .I'll be praying for you both xoxo
  • exermom
    exermom Posts: 6,342 Member
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    Did the 21 Day Total Body Circuit DVD. The plan for tomorrow is to take the water class

    Rori – so you understand how hard it is to want to help but you know that they don’t want help. It’s so frustrating. I wish Pete’s mother would help them, but somehow I doubt it. Best thoughts for your bro. You are doing what’s best for your husband, keep that in mind always. You are NOT selfish – far far from it

    Went to this stitching group. I have a suspicion that I’m going to be on some sort of senior mailing list. Well, I’ll just unsubscribe. Did get the initials for PJ on the stocking. Now all I have to do is tack the front panel down, which shouldn’t be a lot of work.

    Then made the pierogi for Christmas. Made over 80 and (now this is horrible) not a single solitary one broke. There goes my lunch! But two did stick to the thing you dry them on and one fell on the floor so I HAD to eat those. But that’s all

    Welcome everyone new!

    Barbara – I know, I know, having one portal really has its drawbacks. But I keep thinking this would be a good way to know what someone was prescribed and for all the doctors to have your test results, even ones you didn’t think they’d need (like routine blood work)

    Flea – my suspicion, knowing Denise, is that she wants to take the easy way out. It’s easier to stay at home and “its so much easier for us to come up there since we’re retired”. I can’t see why she Pete and PJ can’t come here once/year. We certainly go up there much more often. I would like the Christmas day, but I’m willing to have our Christmas another day. Of course, that means that I have to prepare, bake, cook for two meals. But I’ll do that. Personally, Pete should have taken a few extra days off from work so that coming here isn’t so rushed. But who am I? If he can take 3 weeks off when PJ was born, even tho I was there for 2 of them, why can’t he take a few extra days so that it isn’t as stressful for Denise (and as a result PJ). But I’m sure he wouldn’t think of something like that. She can create her own holiday traditions, I’m not saying that. But why can’t she come see us? Is a holiday tradition not to see us?

    Yvonne – reading about Melvin Dewey reminded me, have anyone of your read the book “Dewey, the Small Town cat who touched the world”. If you are a cat lover, read this book and get your tissues out. I’m not someone who cries at a book, but this book had me in tears. It’s about this cat who lives in the library of Spencer, Iowa. That’s all I’m going to tell you. That steel drum band didn’t know any Christmas songs and were they ever loud!

    Karen in VA – how sorry I am for your grandchildren

    Michele in NC
  • csofled
    csofled Posts: 3,022 Member
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    🙋
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,541 Member
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  • rumbaimom
    rumbaimom Posts: 46 Member
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  • LuciBThinner
    LuciBThinner Posts: 207 Member
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    Rumbaimom Such sweet pups!!

    Luci
  • LisaInAR
    LisaInAR Posts: 2,020 Member
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    B)

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