The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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@RubyRed427, 42 days is HUGE! 6 weeks!!! Yay, you! I hope you do something very special for yourself to celebrate. I'm still all about the rewards. Pavlov would have loved me. Give me a milestone and I instinctively buy lotions, books, and on Day 100, a bracelet. No joke, though, it is one of my motivators. Well done, you. Enjoy your hike.5
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Congrats to everyones success. Just wanted to add my SO is a week in. Never thought Id see the day. Hes struggling but determined to feel better. Hes gone from heavy drinking cold turkey. I hope it lasts for his sake and the rest of the household.
Happy Af day to all and to those struggling never give up. I had more starts and stops than you can shake a stick at. Idk what that means lol but i say it anyway.5 -
I saw this quote today, "One reason people resist change is because they focus on what they have to give up rather than what they have to gain." Rick Godwin
Focus on the benefits of an AF life, they are many, many, many as we have seen enumerated on this thread.8 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »I saw this quote today, "One reason people resist change is because they focus on what they have to give up rather than what they have to gain." Rick Godwin
Focus on the benefits of an AF life, they are many, many, many as we have seen enumerated on this thread.
This is how I've been thinking. Poor me- I have to give up alcohol. How can I relax? Why can everyone else drink? I am missing out.
Thanks for the reminder that that mindset will only make me miserable.
I will try to focus on benefits of AF!5 -
Evening thought: "Wish I could drink just one glass to unwind."
Morning thought: "I am soooo glad I didn't drink last night."7 -
@RubyRed427, that is so true. One of the insights I got from a person who has several years under her belt was that she stopped going to AA after a while because she felt the mindset (in her particular group, at least) of struggling to make it just one more day implied that alcohol was something desirable that she was giving up. Instead, she found it more helpful to think of it as something she was so glad to be free from and didn't even want to think about. I personally found that helpful. Again, the analogy to a bad boyfriend seems apt. After a while, why would we need to grit our teeth to get through each day without the jerk when we could move on to something better?6
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@RubyRed427, that is so true. One of the insights I got from a person who has several years under her belt was that she stopped going to AA after a while because she felt the mindset (in her particular group, at least) of struggling to make it just one more day implied that alcohol was something desirable that she was giving up. Instead, she found it more helpful to think of it as something she was so glad to be free from and didn't even want to think about. I personally found that helpful. Again, the analogy to a bad boyfriend seems apt. After a while, why would we need to grit our teeth to get through each day without the jerk when we could move on to something better?
Yes I can see that about AA. My sister doesn't use AA or any program and has been sober for 222+ days. I have been attending AA and for now it is working for me. I am reward driven. And I love the ideas on here about rewarding ourselves with a piece of jewelry or perhaps a service (like mani, pedi, massage). I am also eagerly looking forward to my two month coin.
I just googled sober things to do in my city, and found the usual things like museums, zoo, etc. I think probably I am overthinking this; I can do anything I always enjoyed, just do it sober. (except for going to bars- too tempting)4 -
Father Martin chalk talk on alcoholism. It's long but listen to it on a long walk. OR find Father Martin's talks in shorter segments. This man is brilliant; some people are born to speak and reach people.
An alcoholic will not respond to treatment unless he wants to.....
https://youtu.be/t7T5stQQFQg
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@RubyRed427 I didn't watch the video due to it's length but AGREED!! People do not respond to treatment unless they want to...that's why I don't think it matters what program a person chooses because they have to be ready for the change first....Whatever works for a person works because they want it to...although different strokes for different folks applies also...AA wasn't my thing, but YouTube videos were very helpful and this awesome group. You also referred in a previous post different things you enjoyed while drinking eg playing euchre etc but then in a further post that you can enjoy any activity without alcohol. So true!! I think we tend to get into a limited mindset when we attach drinking to previous activities we enjoyed...but as you stated, we can still enjoy them AF, perhaps even more cause we will have our full senses.
Hope everyone has a happy, healthy AF week.5 -
Hi Everyone. Nothing alcohol related today. I wanted to share that my closest childhood friends' brother died this weekend from Covid. Please wear your masks and do the other things that science advises us to end this nightmare. We are all in this together.8
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Hi Everyone. Nothing alcohol related today. I wanted to share that my closest childhood friends' brother died this weekend from Covid. Please wear your masks and do the other things that science advises us to end this nightmare. We are all in this together.
So sorry for thats news. My condolences to you and their family. ❤3 -
This is a convo with my husband today. 5:30 pm.... THIS helps me not want to drink.
I’m having a super stressful day and started drinking thinkin.... now I’m nauseated at the thought.K: "how far are you driving"
Me: what are you talking about
K: I'm worried about you
Me: why are you worried (thinking I drive 6 hrs home every other weekend or so)
K: I don't want you drinking and driving
Me: Kevin, I'm not drinking.... YOU are drinking.
K: oh ok.6 -
Hi Everyone. Nothing alcohol related today. I wanted to share that my closest childhood friends' brother died this weekend from Covid. Please wear your masks and do the other things that science advises us to end this nightmare. We are all in this together.
My condolences to the family!2 -
This is a convo with my husband today. 5:30 pm.... THIS helps me not want to drink.
I’m having a super stressful day and started drinking thinkin.... now I’m nauseated at the thought.K: "how far are you driving"
Me: what are you talking about
K: I'm worried about you
Me: why are you worried (thinking I drive 6 hrs home every other weekend or so)
K: I don't want you drinking and driving
Me: Kevin, I'm not drinking.... YOU are drinking.
K: oh ok.
Im sure he wishes you were home drinking with him. He'll turn it around eventually. If mine has theres hope. Speaking of mine hes down 8 pounds. Water weight im positive of that but he loses weight fast anyway. Another Af benefit4 -
"one glass to unwind" wasn't a thing I said to myself for decades. It was enough to stop the shakes so I wouldn't spill filling #2 glass and beyond.
Just having my evenings free sober is liberating. I can do something involving tools or fine motor skills if the mood strikes. Just knowing that's possible has become awesome
As undisciplined as I was about actual consumption, I had hard rules about driving or power tools combined with alcohol. Which meant I often didn't go anywhere or do anything productive.
Now I don't go anywhere because of COVID, and that's ok. But the shop/project list is always an option. And best of all, I can remember what I read the night before. I wasted so many hours re-reading books because I had no memory of it the previous night.
Many more upsides to sobriety than missing the lost hours of the constant haze and fog.8 -
I was having a wee craving and just checked in here. I love the encouragement everyone gives everyone else. Craving over, and I'm having water.6
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I'm having a pity party over here. My thinking is so depressing. I cannot get it into my head that I am not being deprived when I don't drink. That it is normal NOT to drink. But this brain is so used to alcohol as a reward, that's all I think about after work. There is so much more suffering going on in this world, so why am I dwelling on this.
Anyways, Day 45 AF over here. Time is crawling. I know from what I have heard, after being sober for a period of time, you dont think about alcohol anymore. I cannot wait until that day, because right now I could cry, because I want a glass of wine. It sounds so ridiculous that I am upset and depressed over a liquid. Grrrrr.
Love reading your posts. @jent304 My sympathies on the death of your friend.
@nuffer I have to think like you. Evenings sober can be liberating. I went to dinner with my son who called out of the blue. I was happy I wasn't drunk or drinking. I could just get my keys and meet him at the restaurant.
@Beka3695 Very interesting narrative. I'm proud of you for sticking to it.
@lorrainequiche59 I totally agree. Any program that works is great! My therapist also suggested Smart recovery. I just haven't checked it out yet. My cousin is drinking so excessively that his wife just can't understand why he does it. I said you cant understand, because you're not addicted. He is addicted to alcohol. An addicts brain does not function like a normal brain. She wants me to talk to him about reducing. I told her I have tried, and if he doesn't want to quit, no words from me will make a difference. I just pray he doesn't have to hit rock bottom (although he is close) to realize alcohol is causing all of his problems. He recently smashed in the side of his new BMW convertible; he told his wife, "someone must have hit me in the parking lot". But I figure he was driving drunk and smashed into something.7 -
@JenT304
@RubyRed427 I hear your struggle Have you gone on YouTube and searched for a video that may help with your cravings. I remember when my bro died and I had 2 bottles of wine sitting on my kitchen counter, even rinsed out a fave wine glass, but decided to search for a video & ended up watching Dick Cavett interview Dick Van *kitten*. That was the end of my craving. I'm not suggesting that particular video for you, but you may find something that speaks to what you are going through right now. You are doing so well...the struggle means we are still fighting and the fight IS worth it...you'll get through this bout and it will make you stronger for the next one...eventually it will get fewer & farther between...You CAN do this!!4 -
This week was a good week for me. I did not drink and I am not drinking this weekend. I was able to get a lot done. I've gone to the gym every day this week. I am getting the entire first floor of my house remodeled. So my mind is not wandering off thinking about my child. I feel much better not drinking as it was increasing my depression to the point I did not want to get out of bed.
This was a good week.7 -
Trick to avoiding alcohol on a Friday night.... schedule a workout. I had my workout with my trainer this evening- it takes the edge off of the desire to drink AFTER the workout. I had a craving before, but it's gone now.
@dbanks80 It is a depressant - you're right. Sounds like a good week, indeed.
@FeelinFooFoo I'll have to check Bex Weller out!
I have the following note in my note pad on my phone: I cant drink alcohol safely or responsibly.
So when I go to write a note, I always see it pop up.
@JenT304 Thanks for reminding me to add "responsibly". So true!
@lorrainequiche59 I like your idea; you know how much I always love the Craig Ferguson video. Will revisit his clip later.
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