The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

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  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,155 Member
    @donimfp Positives: not having to think about moderating or counting drinks, worrying about a hangover ruining the weekend, being able to jump in the car and go anytime, morning coffee with no headache, sleeping so soundly, no racing heartbeat at night, .... all positives.

    Your future trip sounds perfect. I love Beatrix Potter's books, so sweet and pretty.
    I like your journal idea.
    Yes, I have to check out Bex today!
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,155 Member
    @FeelinFooFoo I am sure it will be worth the price! I think being sober gives us a more peaceful state of mind. Working through cravings and thinking through the drink is easier when you string together many days of AF.
    My problem is when I drink two days in a row and then a third day, I keep wanting more. It become like a runaway train.

    The cravings start to lessons (as you know) around 10 days and then 1 month....
    It's also easier to say "no alcohol period" than try to negotiate and ration my alcohol in my mind. Best wishes! You did one month before (maybe more even?) and you can do it again!
  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    @FeelinFooFoo, that is interesting that you are encountering such resistance and skepticism from your loved ones. I think your reply is perfect: All you need from them is your love and support, not their advice or approval. I don't know, but it might reassure your partner if you tell him you aren't using the "N" word (Never). That is Kate Bee's approach in the Sober School. Even though I don't intend to drink again, I don't scare myself by saying I'm never going to drink again. I set a goal. Once I reach that, I set another one. My goal was to reach 100 days, which I did on Oct. 13. Then I set another goal--6 months, which will be January 6. At that time, I'll set my next goal. Maybe that would help your partner not feel overwhelmed, like he's "losing" his drinking buddy forever, if you just told him you plan to give it a go for at least x amount of time, at which time you'll reassess. Then if you want to return to drinking, you can. If you want to continue, you can. It did make me happy to think on October 14 that I had a guilt-free opportunity to make a choice to go back to drinking if I wanted to. I chose not to.

    Anyway, I think you're doing great and learning a lot. Kate's class was expensive, but I've saved an amazing amount of money overall compared to what I would have spent if I'd continued drinking. Not to mention all the other benefits.

    You go girl. You have love and support here!!
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    My partner & brother (mostly my partner) has been moaning at me about the price of SS membership. I repeated a line that I have learnt from Bex. I said " All that I need is your love & support." I said to him, surely if you see that I am getting something positive from this, then you would think the money is worth it?? Besides, I could easily waste £60 on buying rubbish! And, it's my money to spend how I wish, anyway !! 😊

    My brother has been saying "Oh, but you will crack / crumble by Christmas & new year, you will DEFINITELY drink!! Again, said to him, all I need is your love & support....

    He asked to bet me £50 that I drink at Christmas and New year so I now have £50 riding on this. (Coming to think of it, that could go towards paying for another subscription 😆) I guess they are just worried I'm being 'ripped off' but you can hit cancel at any time, you arnt locked into something. So my brother has also said 'I bet you cancel that membership soon! Once you've drank again!'

    I really get the vibe that the idea of me always not drinking, bothers them a little. My bro has been trying to encourage me to keep drinking. Saying 'your drinking wasnt that bad'. He compared it to other folks drinking habits. But he misses the point that it was MY drinking I was worried about, NOT other peoples! If Brenda down the street can happily drink X2 bottles of wine a night, does that mean that I should then feel okay that I only drink 1 bottle of wine a night?? Of course not that sounds ridiculous but it appears that that's what people tend to do with alcohol. That's the same as quitting your exercise programme because you found out that Karen doesn't exercise, so why should you ?!?

    My partner has also hinted at not being comfortable with a 'never again' approach. Although he is generally supportive of me, he said, "well, there is nothing wrong with drinking now and again."

    I can understand his point in saying this, but again, he is not ME and he doesnt get effected quite so badly by alcohol. And, I'm kinda fed up spending weekends laid up in bed trying to nurse the anxiety & low mood.

    I think when people do that it causes them to reflect on their own convictions. So dont take it personal. I have learned to navigate around the pressure. Friends telling me I am no fun when I dont drink even my own husband said i need to get the stick out of my A**. But I dont let it get to me anymore because I am doing something to better me and to make ME a happier healthier person.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    I cannot say I will never drink. I am learning to just drink moderately.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,155 Member
    It is a beautiful fall day here in the Midwest. Happy Halloween! I do remember Halloween nights when the kids were little. They would go trick or treating with my husband and I would keep sneaking drinks out of our liquor cabinet.

    Today, I will be sober. I do not miss those morning headaches or queasy stomach. It is getting easier, little by little, to abstain. I am pretty determined to get to two months on Nov. 5th. That will be the longest streak in the last two years.

    @FeelinFooFoo sounds like the Bex program is all around excellent! 7 days is fabulous.
    @donimfp congrats on the weight loss too. Yes, now I look at others who are drinking and think , I'm happy I won't wake up feeling yucky.
    @JenT304 Love sharing our sober journey together.
    @MissMay I also check your thread. Both threads give me motivation.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,155 Member
    dbanks80 wrote: »
    dbanks80 wrote: »
    I cannot say I will never drink. I am learning to just drink moderately.

    I'm planning to complete this 90 days alcohol free just to REALLY give it a go. I plan to see how I feel and make a desicion afterwards. I am pretty scared but also excited to see how I feel after 3 months completely free of alcohol. It's nerve wracking and exciting at same time!!

    You can do 90 days easy. They say it takes 30 days to break a habit. After 90 days you will feel soooo much better and see the positive effects from not drinking you will not want to go back

    Love seeing your posts. The profile pic is so pretty!
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,155 Member
    I just was on the Bex Weller website and joined the Sparkle Project! I'm excited!