WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MARCH 2023
Replies
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OregonMother wrote: »myvt9v4crh wrote: »Log outmyvt9v4crh wrote: »Log in to Katla49myvt9v4crh wrote: »Machka, I gave it a try and will wait for my new computer if necessary. I appreciate your help very much. Thanks. Hopefully things will get better.
Katla49
I think Katla is waiting for her computer.
One of her issues is that she has not written down her passwords for either myvt9v4crh or Katla49 so if she did manage to log out, she might not be able to log back in.
She could use the I forgot my password link to create a new password, but I imagine that requires an email address and I don't know if she would be set up with that on her phone.
Katla, if you're trying and you're frustrated, maybe give Pip another call.
Machka in Oz
I'm worried that it's been so long since she used her computer that the password will no longer be saved there.
I need to stop worrying, but Katla has been a part of this group for a very long time, and I am sad that she feels abandoned or that she feels that MFP has done something nefarious.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR
From the sounds of it, they're planning to set her up with a new computer. Her older computer was probably quite old. So no, it's unlikely her password will be saved.
In fact, based on the timing of all this ...- Her son goes to the west coast to get her stuff.
- She's mysteriously logged out of MFP.
I'm kind of thinking that when she and her husband moved to Illinois (or wherever they are now), she left her computer on and logged into MFP, and her phone was syncing with that.
Then, when her son went to get her stuff, he shut down the computer and unplugged it, etc. to pack it. It's just possible when he did that, he broke the connection and Katla was logged out.
She doesn't remember her Katla49 password because she stayed logged in, with her computer on all the time. It's probably been years since she used the password.
I'm figuring her computer system must be old because my computer will restart periodically to apply updates. Hers may be old enough it doesn't do that.
If they set her up with a new computer, I am hoping that they will sit down with her and help her log in as Katla49 again, with a new password. I am hoping they will ask the right questions, like what did you visit online? Is there anything you would like us to set up for you?
Unfortunately, I'm not confident that she will know what to ask for. Or if she does know what to ask for, she may feel embarrassed to ask for help. So I'm hoping they will be very patient with her.
M in Oz
You are probably right in what you suspect happened.
I agree with you that this may happen:
Unfortunately, I'm not confident that she will know what to ask for. Or if she does know what to ask for, she may feel embarrassed to ask for help. So I'm hoping they will be very patient with her.
The events over the past few months have been painful to witness, even virtually. I can only imagine how heartbreaking all of it is for her husband and children.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR9 -
KetoneKaren wrote: »
Hi, Karen. Praying that your wife begins improving now that you all have more information and a plan.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR3 -
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OregonMother wrote: »KetoneKaren wrote: »
Hi, Karen. Praying that your wife begins improving now that you all have more information and a plan.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR
Thank you Flea, that means a lot to me. xoxo0 -
Karen, wouldn't that be wonderful if all her wife's issues would be solved by a medication change/stoppage! Keeping you both in my thoughts!
Rori, so sorry that you have Covid 2.0 - the extended version..... Hope you feel better soon!
Allie, such a sweet pic of Carmine and Miles! I hope you are enjoying your time away!
Debbie, that was quite the trek you made around the wetlands! I'd have been very nervous walking thru running water! You just never know what's under it....
I'm hoping the weather will cooperate with me next week. It's spring break so my grandson doesn't have school. I was asked if I could take both kids for an afternoon so that some stuff can get done in their backyard, it's easier without 2 little supervisors! I agreed, so this is why I hope the weather is good. I can bring them over here for lunch then take them to a playground or two, that should fill up 3-4 hours. Maybe even make rice krispy squares with dgs, he loves helping. Doesn't always love washing his hands before helping, but that is something that I insist on! Typical boy, clean hands aren't a priority! Our granddaughter is certainly letting her personality come out these days, does not want to listen to anything that I have to say until I get cranky. And then she gets upset because I snapped at her, smh. Tried explaining it to her, I think she understood, but it hasn't made a difference yet. Good thing she's cute.....
And once again, it's past my bedtime. Hugs for those needing them, congrats to those celebrating and welcome to the newbies!
Evelyn, Vancouver Island5 -
Yes, I agree with Flea.
Yesterday, after finishing my paintings, I was having a quick relax on the couch, when I got a very distressed text from my friend L. I phoned and she was in the middle of a grief wave. I let her cry and eventually we talked her through it. She feels even more desperate, 18 months after her partner died, than she did last year.
She has made an appointment with her therapist.
I think the waves will come and go, that's perfectly normal, but she does seem very stuck. It's complicated, as was their relationship, but I do feel you need something to live for, other than your partner.
She does have a few things to look forward to, but I feel the real issue is that she is having trouble accepting the ambivalence she had towards him. She knows it, but feels it is a step too far to go there. It's a dark place.
So, my friends, live for YOU. Tell the truth to yourself. Find something in your life that makes your heart sing.
Rainy day here. I will be retouching my roots ready for the UK Mother's Day tomorrow. We are all going to The Regency fish restaurant on the seafront. The weather, for the 50 minute walk, is forecast to be sunny!
We've not been there 'en masse' before, but should be fun, and I'm looking forward to it.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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OregonMother wrote: »OregonMother wrote: »myvt9v4crh wrote: »Log outmyvt9v4crh wrote: »Log in to Katla49myvt9v4crh wrote: »Machka, I gave it a try and will wait for my new computer if necessary. I appreciate your help very much. Thanks. Hopefully things will get better.
Katla49
I think Katla is waiting for her computer.
One of her issues is that she has not written down her passwords for either myvt9v4crh or Katla49 so if she did manage to log out, she might not be able to log back in.
She could use the I forgot my password link to create a new password, but I imagine that requires an email address and I don't know if she would be set up with that on her phone.
Katla, if you're trying and you're frustrated, maybe give Pip another call.
Machka in Oz
I'm worried that it's been so long since she used her computer that the password will no longer be saved there.
I need to stop worrying, but Katla has been a part of this group for a very long time, and I am sad that she feels abandoned or that she feels that MFP has done something nefarious.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR
From the sounds of it, they're planning to set her up with a new computer. Her older computer was probably quite old. So no, it's unlikely her password will be saved.
In fact, based on the timing of all this ...- Her son goes to the west coast to get her stuff.
- She's mysteriously logged out of MFP.
I'm kind of thinking that when she and her husband moved to Illinois (or wherever they are now), she left her computer on and logged into MFP, and her phone was syncing with that.
Then, when her son went to get her stuff, he shut down the computer and unplugged it, etc. to pack it. It's just possible when he did that, he broke the connection and Katla was logged out.
She doesn't remember her Katla49 password because she stayed logged in, with her computer on all the time. It's probably been years since she used the password.
I'm figuring her computer system must be old because my computer will restart periodically to apply updates. Hers may be old enough it doesn't do that.
If they set her up with a new computer, I am hoping that they will sit down with her and help her log in as Katla49 again, with a new password. I am hoping they will ask the right questions, like what did you visit online? Is there anything you would like us to set up for you?
Unfortunately, I'm not confident that she will know what to ask for. Or if she does know what to ask for, she may feel embarrassed to ask for help. So I'm hoping they will be very patient with her.
M in Oz
You are probably right in what you suspect happened.
I agree with you that this may happen:
Unfortunately, I'm not confident that she will know what to ask for. Or if she does know what to ask for, she may feel embarrassed to ask for help. So I'm hoping they will be very patient with her.
The events over the past few months have been painful to witness, even virtually. I can only imagine how heartbreaking all of it is for her husband and children.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR
Unfortunately, it's been gradually developing over the past year, at least, and yes, so heartbreaking. But I am very glad that her children have stepped up and are helping. I am relieved that she and her husband are in the same place, getting care, and living near family.
Katla, if you're reading this, we love you!
Please do ask your children, or someone where you are staying, for help whenever you need it.
Machka in Oz5 -
So about 6 weeks ago, we were looking at this lovely property in a town we like. 3 bedroom house on 1 acre with some established fruit trees etc. for just under $600,000 - quite a reasonable price for all that!
We were interested, but we both wondered about the amount of work involved in maintaining an acre of garden.
It looks like the house has sold (for $640,000) and that's OK.
Meanwhile, in the last couple days, since I have pretty much finished the dry stream and my hand is healing, I've been moving through our existing garden doing the weeding and watering ... and I am glad that we did not pursue that house. Whenever we do move, we need to move into a place with a smaller, simpler yard. I'm discovering that things have been left and not tended.
I'm getting the feeling that the garden is overwhelming my husband. 
I am trying to simplify it by doing the gravelling we did during the summer of 2021-22, and the plantings we've done this past summer. Many of this years plantings have been low fuss like borage and comfrey. They should just take over their areas without much input from us. I guess I'll wait and see how things are next summer. Hopefully the plantings will have grown up and will choke out the weeds so there is less to do.
One of the things I will have to address very soon are my raspberries. I am going to have to move them apart so that there is a decent path between rows and figure out how to hold them upright. I'll also need to work out how to get more water to them.
Machka in Oz
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I am doing this Happiness calendar for March. Feel free to copy or simply use it if you’d like!
March, 2023 Action for happiness.org
RVRita1. Set an intention to live with awareness and kindness. I intend to live with more awareness and kindness every day.
2. Notice three things you find beautiful in the outside world.
Sky, sand and ocean
3. Start today by appreciating your body and that you are alive.
Yesterday's 54 km bicycle ride and 5 km walk on the beach ...
4. Notice how you speak to yourself and choose to use kind words.
5. Bring to mind people you care about and send love to them.
6. Have a ‘no plans’ day and notice how that feels.
The only plans we had yesterday was a stroll through a neighbouring arty town to look at the shops.
7. Take three calm breaths at regular intervals during your day.
I do box breathing at some point just about every day.
8. Eat mindfully. Appreciate the taste, texture and smell of your food.
9. Take a full breath in and out before you reply to others.
Many times.
10. Get outside and notice how the weather feels on your face.
Afternoon walk ...
11. Stay fully present while drinking your cup of tea or coffee.
Not so much today. But usually.
12. Listen deeply to someone and really hear what they are saying.
Haven't talked to anyone other than husband today.
13. Pause to watch the sky or clouds for a few minutes today.
Love watching the sky. Our house is especially well located for that, and at certain times of year, we get fantastic sunsets!
14. Find ways to enjoy any chores or tasks that you do.
Laundry! I don't mind doing laundry.
15. Stop. Breathe. Notice. Repeat regularly.
That's about all I can do today. I haven't done anything which requires effort.
I looked up the vaccine I had yesterday. Boostrix: diphtheria-tetanus-acellular pertussis (whooping cough). I am set for 10 years!
But headache, tiredness, body aches, sore joints and nausea are common side effects ... which I am experiencing.
My doctor also informed me that the antibiotic "cocktail" I've been prescribed will make me feel ill and give me a horrible taste in my mouth. But it is only for 5 days and should do the trick.
16. Get really absorbed with an interesting or creative activity.
I've been colouring these days because I'm not allowed to do much more. Fortunately, I enjoy colouring.
I've also been putting away laundry and rearranging a closet.
17. Look around and spot three thing you find unusual or pleasant.
The place is slightly neater and cleaner than usual. That's both unusual and pleasant. February was major house-cleaning month, then we went on holidays so the place is still clean.
I'm at home, surrounded by things I like.
There are photos I have taken recently showing on my second computer screen.
18. Have a 'no plans' day and notice how that feels or If you find yourself rushing, make an effort to slow down.
Today, I casually worked my way through part of the garden, catching up on some of the weeding.
And we went for a short 10 km bicycle ride.
And I've been colouring.20. Cultivate a feeling of loving-kindness towards others today.
21. Focus on what makes you and others happy today.
22. Listen to a piece of music without doing anything else.
23. Notice something that is going well, even if today feels difficult.
24. Tune into your feelings, without judging or trying to change them.
25. Appreciate your hands and all the things they enable you to do.
26. Focus your attention on the good things you take for granted.
27. Choose too spend less times looking at screens today.
28. Appreciate nature around you wherever you are.
29. Notice when you are tired and take a break as soon as possible.
30. Choose a different route today and see what you notice.
31. Mentally scan your body and notice what you are feeling.
32. Discover the joy in the simple things of life.
Machka in Oz
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Hello all, love to you all.
Grey drizzly day here and a planless day. Just housework and probably some reading art and crochet. Lost 1kg or 2.2lb I'm bothered my scales do not change how to weigh. Happy with that. I've gone dairy free as I've discovered I'm intollerent to it, no suprise it's common in my family.
Out for mother's Day lunch tomorrow, I'm going to as clean as possible. Current favourite breakfast is overnight oats.
Sending you all blessings and kindness.
Laura Smarden UK.4 -
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Rori-sorry to hear you have another bout of Covid. Hope they are able to give you something, I think most stuff is recommended within just a few days of symptoms-let us know what they give you so we have it for future reference! Hope this weekend sees you improving.
Allie-that is a sweet picture of the siblings.
Heather-I love the zoo pictures. I may check and see if such an adventure is available at zoo near my grandchildren. Thanks for the retirement encouragement.
Karen-I agree with you-I plan on not being bored in retirement. Will wait on the medical stuff next week, but am seriously thinking late summer. I have a couple of more physical things I want done with house before I sell. I have some driveway work scheduled for this spring, I am going to get vinyl plank put on basement floor (where bar had been there is no tile and the tile there, I believe, is asbestos so getting it level and covered), a bit of work on downstairs bath). And, of course, the last major push for purging!
I share concern for Katla-I'm sure her family can help. It looks like both of her profiles have been switched to private. I'm glad she is at a facility with some supervision and close to her husband.
Somehow yesterday I picked up a sore shoulder. Not from exercise. My best guess is somehow I was sitting at computer. Worked from home yesterday and my home set up isn't quite as ergonomic as work office. Very sore at top of left arm front (so not on top of shoulder). Suspecting bursa or a bit of tendon irritation. Can move it. Going to use ice and heat today and ibuprofen and see if inflammation subsides. I figure doing movement with standard clean up will help keep it loose. When I had herniated cervical discs they rested on nerve so left side was painful-I hope those old fusions are still in place!
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio2 -
Thoughts on the disconnect from reality that a disability may render:
Our conjured future doesn’t match our real present or potential future.
Our hopes and dreams for retirement didn’t just go pffttt!!! - they are still there.
Thus, numerous times, we have looked at architectural plans and dreamed about building a green/solar home with an inner arboretum courtyard with capacity to sell back to the grid. We have planned an elaborate garden with secret paths and benches and surprises around every turn. We have planned trips down the Nile, to the Gobi Desert, and salmon fishing in Alaska. We have committed in our minds to rigorous volunteerism to help those less fortunate. We have looked into many hobby and educational possibilities, and fully intended to keep up our Master Gardening credentials.
Most heartbreaking, we planned to take trips at least twice a year to visit our Corsican Californian grandchildren Olivia and Phoenix. For reasons we aren’t sure of, Katie (their mom) doesn’t want to travel here with them to see us - it’s a mystery, because she FaceTimes with her mom (my spouse) every day; we have offered to pay for their travel costs to no avail. I have a sliver of hope that this may change if I am right about the cause of my wife’s pseudo-Parkinsonism, and that we will be able to travel to California in about a year.
Thinking of Heather's post, I am not reticent about admitting that I would like to have my wife’s smart brain and conversational skills back, and that I feel resentment at having been robbed of that. It’s the pits being a caretaker of someone constantly in a brain fog, with whom you planned to have stimulating conversation in your dotage.
Patience is not my strongest virtue, so sometimes I get snappish with my wife when we have gone over logistics numerous times. We are still working on the best system to keep her calendar up to date and accurate. She enters stuff on her calendar on the wrong days, sends texts to the wrong people, etc, and I have to go behind her and clean up the detritus. I have finally convinced her to stop sending me invitations to all the stuff she enters on her calendar, and to stop making appointments for me for mammograms, dental appointments, etc.
Acknowledging my own feelings and resentments about the way things are in no way takes away from my empathy and sympathy for what my wife is experiencing...emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I do not feel guilty for feeling resentment and sometimes self-pity. It’s all part of my self-care, which is necessary in order to be an excellent caretaker for my wife.
Karen in Virginia
15 -
KetoneKaren wrote: »
That might work, but ours are in pots, not in rows.
Kind of like this image.- There's a fence on the left between our place and our neighbours.
- There's a row of 4 pots beside the fence and the raspberries (leaves, vines) have made their way up and over the fence and everywhere.
- Then there's a narrow boardwalk that I can just barely step on because the raspberries are all over that.
- And then there are another 4 pots with raspberries all intertwined everywhere
I can move the pots further apart and make the path between them wider. That would help.
Then I have to think about how to run wires or whatever.
Machka in Oz
2 -
KetoneKaren wrote: »
That might work, but ours are in pots, not in rows.
Kind of like this image.- There's a fence on the left between our place and our neighbours.
- There's a row of 4 pots beside the fence and the raspberries (leaves, vines) have made their way up and over the fence and everywhere.
- Then there's a narrow boardwalk that I can just barely step on because the raspberries are all over that.
- And then there are another 4 pots with raspberries all intertwined everywhere
I can move the pots further apart and make the path between them wider. That would help.
Then I have to think about how to run wires or whatever.
Machka in Oz
You have a green thumb for raspberries. I am envious, although dealing with the pickers would be onerous. I adore raspberries - my very favoritist berry.
An arbor over your walkway would work but would be pricey.
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KetoneKaren wrote: »Thoughts on the disconnect from reality that a disability may render:
Our conjured future doesn’t match our real present or potential future.
Our hopes and dreams for retirement didn’t just go pffttt!!! - they are still there.
Thus, numerous times, we have looked at architectural plans and dreamed about building a green/solar home with an inner arboretum courtyard with capacity to sell back to the grid. We have planned an elaborate garden with secret paths and benches and surprises around every turn. We have planned trips down the Nile, to the Gobi Desert, and salmon fishing in Alaska. We have committed in our minds to rigorous volunteerism to help those less fortunate. We have looked into many hobby and educational possibilities, and fully intended to keep up our Master Gardening credentials.
Most heartbreaking, we planned to take trips at least twice a year to visit our Corsican Californian grandchildren Olivia and Phoenix. For reasons we aren’t sure of, Katie (their mom) doesn’t want to travel here with them to see us - it’s a mystery, because she FaceTimes with her mom (my spouse) every day; we have offered to pay for their travel costs to no avail. I have a sliver of hope that this may change if I am right about the cause of my wife’s pseudo-Parkinsonism, and that we will be able to travel to California in about a year.
Thinking of Heather's post, I am not reticent about admitting that I would like to have my wife’s smart brain and conversational skills back, and that I feel resentment at having been robbed of that. It’s the pits being a caretaker of someone constantly in a brain fog, with whom you planned to have stimulating conversation in your dotage.
Patience is not my strongest virtue, so sometimes I get snappish with my wife when we have gone over logistics numerous times. We are still working on the best system to keep her calendar up to date and accurate. She enters stuff on her calendar on the wrong days, sends texts to the wrong people, etc, and I have to go behind her and clean up the detritus. I have finally convinced her to stop sending me invitations to all the stuff she enters on her calendar, and to stop making appointments for me for mammograms, dental appointments, etc.
Acknowledging my own feelings and resentments about the way things are in no way takes away from my empathy and sympathy for what my wife is experiencing...emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I do not feel guilty for feeling resentment and sometimes self-pity. It’s all part of my self-care, which is necessary in order to be an excellent caretaker for my wife.
Karen in Virginia
I know what you feel like. Very much!
My most heartbreaking is not being able to leave this island and especially not being able to see my family.
M in Oz8 -
KetoneKaren wrote: »KetoneKaren wrote: »
That might work, but ours are in pots, not in rows.
Kind of like this image.- There's a fence on the left between our place and our neighbours.
- There's a row of 4 pots beside the fence and the raspberries (leaves, vines) have made their way up and over the fence and everywhere.
- Then there's a narrow boardwalk that I can just barely step on because the raspberries are all over that.
- And then there are another 4 pots with raspberries all intertwined everywhere
I can move the pots further apart and make the path between them wider. That would help.
Then I have to think about how to run wires or whatever.
Machka in Oz
You have a green thumb for raspberries. I am envious, although dealing with the pickers would be onerous. I adore raspberries - my very favoritist berry.
An arbor over your walkway would work but would be pricey.
Thank you, but so far all I have are vines and leaves ... and the prickly bits. We've not been able to produce raspberries yet! I've got to figure out what's wrong.
I love them too ... I just wish they'd produce a crop!
M in Oz1 -
💐🌸💮🏵🌹🥀🌺🌻🌼🌷
Going to get my tooth pulled at 10AM...
Carol in GA11 -
Good morning ladies!
Katla we all miss you!
Laura welcome! I also avoid dairy, and I also eat overnight oats. I put protein powder in mine and cinnamon and almond milk and blueberries. Very tasty and filling.
Karen I'm sorry that your plans have eluded you.
Machka you are doing great things with the garden you have. Raspberries sound delicious!
Ginny hope your shoulder feels better soon. Sounds like you are excited about retirement!
It's Saturday with nothing much on the agenda. Maybe trimming dog toenails. And I ought to dye my roots sooner or later. Since I stopped dating, I have let that slide.
Annie in Delaware4 -
Karen - What I think is most wonderful is that through these last few years, where the heaviest of the burdens have all landed in your lap, you have persevered in continuing to find an answer for your wife. My best friend felt as if she got her mother back after a number of medication reviews found that she was being overprescribed and that drug interactions between different doctors' prescriptions were making her sicker. Hoping for you both.
Rori - I hope your bout with the ro-ro lets loose of you soon. Corey's still got remnants after three weeks, and has been most frustrated with his sense of smell and taste. He brews his own beer, and his sense of smell has been shot, bless him. So he brings one to me (I do not like beer even a little, Sam I Am), and gets my description of the scent, which is not the same at all. Very frustrating for him.
Rebecca - It's so good to see you describing food again, dear heart. You'll find your way through the cholesterol maze, I have faith in you.
Evie - Sounds like you have a plan for the grands, hope you all enjoy yourselves!
Heather - You're a good friend.
Regarding Katla - I hope she's been able to read that we do miss her and think of her. If you're reading these posts, dear heart, we think of you often. The last year's progression through all of this has been heartbreaking, and I hope her son and daughter are able to help her regain what she has with us. Communication with the people you love is so important.
Welcome to Laura in the UK, @audreysoverhere , and anyone else who's new!
Frosty outside, sending Corey out for groceries once he's up and about and planning to enjoy my lazy Saturday. Or write. It will be one of those.
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR2
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