Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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riderfangal wrote: »spacequiztime wrote: »
Ugg, I wish there was a gym near me like that. Kids were all over the machines and weight room at the last gym I tried. I remember seeing one girl mess around with the assisted pull up machine. I thought she was going to end up crushing her hand under the weights.
It's a big room with games, toys, coloring pages, a TV, even an old game console. They don't get bored. The ladies that work there often play games with them too.This morning is my kids' last morning of school... I'm not too happy about it. Less stressed than last year though... but still. I'm sorely going to miss my alone time. I'm not working out this morning so I can enjoy it (still got to run to the store though) but I'll take the kids to the gym this afternoon to keep them busy. I foresee a lot of time spent on the treadmill in the next 3 months.
I confess that I haven't touched my weights for 3 days and I really don't want to...
What kinds of activities do they get to do at the gym? Growing up we belonged to a gym and basically spent almost every summer day with all of our friends at the pool. They had an indoor and outdoor pool with multiple slides. Ah, good memories.
I would never take my child to the gym. It's the reason I don't go I have no one to watch him but I am not taking him with me
Yeah some of them are crazy. That one I more expensive but I really love it. I used to go to the YMCA but the kids HATED the kid area... it was a shoebox, seriously, my closet is bigger...
Plus really... solitaire on the treadmill FTW. I won 3 in a row today!
Confession - I had an early dinner again. Looked at my macros and calories and figured out what would be the most filling. Ended up having a huge omelette. But it's like it went right through me and I was still hungry after. Does that happen to anyone else? I made myself some tea though and now it's better (peppermint. Anything else makes me hungrier for some reason).
I confess that sometimes the idea that I'm going to have to deal with that all my life is extremely daunting. I hope my appetite decreases as I get older... or something.spacequiztime wrote: »
Something happened to the thread a few nights ago? Dang, I always miss things like that.kellienw335 wrote: »
I have the Galaxy S6 and can't see the images either. Almost caught up! I've been behind for days! Glad it's Friday since the thread ramps up Friday and then slows down on the weekend. I also have to catch myself before quoting one of you to friends IRL. Although, my husband knows about the thread and how involved I am. When we first started I would explain what thread I was talking about...even though it's the only one I've ever followed. Now I just say "The Thread", he laughs and I update him.pofoster21 wrote: »spacequiztime wrote: »I can't see gifs or any image really on the Android app.
Really? I can. Are you on an older phone?
Also, wanted to say kudos to everyone that defended the thread a couple nights ago. Everyone handled it so well, and explained instead of getting angry. There is one poster that jumped on, 20+K posts, and I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach because I was so afraid that things were going to turn nasty. Was very glad that it didn't get nasty, and I didn't chime in because I knew I was way behind. Although if this thing does implode then, as @Tubbs216 put it, to the bat cave!!!
Yeah, my phone is an LG G3. I checked just now. I have trouble seeing gifs and avatars, other static images seem to be okay.
Ok it's gotta be a network thing. Who is your provider? Mine is Verizon (wink wink).0 -
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kellienw335 wrote: »OMG! So, if you Google "shark eating chocolate powder while wearing a trash bag" several of the profile pics from this thread show up! @riderfangal, @Tubbs216, @m1xm0d3, @kelly_c_77
Hahahaha nice1.
Oh god. And this is how people get busted by employers, parents and law enforcement!0 -
Glinda1971 wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »
Growing up, I always preferred salty to sweet. A few years ago, when I started really working out, it was like a switch was flipped. No more chips, peanuts, fries...I want alllll the candy, cookies, cakes, and ice cream. I will eat salty things and enjoy them...but never really crave them or want to use calories on them. That is, until now after being sick on Monday/Tuesday...now sweet stuff makes me want to throw up all over again...so I've been having salty stuff as my snacks the past few days.kelly_c_77 wrote: »
Aha! So, it was not known that there was leftover candy...makes a little more sense now. And yes, go clean out his closet and see what you find!AngryViking1970 wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »
You had chocolate leftover from Easter? How?!AngryViking1970 wrote: »So, for dinner last night I had Cheese Nips and a handful of chocolate eggs leftover from Easter. And beer. Yay!
Seriously, tell me how.
I was as shocked as you guys. For Easter, my BIL gave my son a cardboard egg "thing" with candy in it and it's been sitting on his dresser since then. I assumed it was empty, because candy + my kid, or filled with Legos or something. But lo, it was not! I need to clean up in there more often.
I still have Easter candy left. As a matter of fact, I haven't touched my dark chocolate bunny yet. I know it's there, I just don't use calories on candy very often. I'd rather use them on fries or bacon cheeseburgers.
I love salty. I rarely have cravings for sweet stuff, it's almost always salty that I'm hungry for. I very rarely will turn down chips or really crispy fries. They are my weakness. Especially with an ice cold Dr. Pepper. My favorite go to snack.
I love salty too. Can't keep chips in the house. Or dry roasted peanuts.
Last night I was craving cookies which I honestly never do. But I've figured out by the pain by my hip that it's ovulation day. That probably explains the extra weight.
Weird though, I very seldom get hormonal cravings. I blame this thread!!
I have also been craving cookies, check out my diary, and it is because of hormones too.
Confession: I started my period today and I could NOT be happier because that means unless I have some freakishly long cycle, I will be period free for my vacation. I may have thanked God out loud while going to the bathroom. TMI I know, but I just had to share. Also, that could explain some of the weight gain I've experienced recently even though I'm still in a deficit.
Yay for a successful vacation!0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »xMrBunglex wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Work through lunch and go home at 2:20? Or work through lunch and go home at 2:20?
It's Friday. FIFY
what does FIFY mean?
"Fixed it for you". Sometimes written as FTFY, meaning "Fixed this for you".
I had no idea! Ahhh more acronyms in my life. Sigh.0 -
I eat already shelled pistachios and 1/2 cup is 160. I always add over the top of measure 5 extra nuts and stuff 3 more in my mouth but still just log the 160 calories.0
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therealklane wrote: »Applying for a job in my field for the first time today.....kind of terrified.
Good luck! You'll rock it!0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Star fact: This is the 30100th post in this thread. Unless someone beat me to it.
Yay you!0 -
asflatasapancake wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »OMG! So, if you Google "shark eating chocolate powder while wearing a trash bag" several of the profile pics from this thread show up! @riderfangal, @Tubbs216, @m1xm0d3, @kelly_c_77
Bahaha! Just had to look for myself!
And now, I need to make these:
I must confess, part of me thinks "That's cute". While the other part of me thinks "Look, a shark is eating a babies foot. That baby needs assistance. No, it's just a booty. That's freaky."
I actually thought it was twisted. Not judging of course but living near the sea as I do? I kinda thought SICK.0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »I missed page 1000, due to spending the day asleep after swimming with the kids this morning.
Confession: food is still not back on track
You'll get there. One step at a time.0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »The problem with owning too many shoes is you can never find the ones you want to wear among all the boxes. The good thing is when you find a pair you bought months ago but never wore, forgot about and then find again. And they are perfect. Total win.
I believe I have mentioned both my shoe obsession and 'shopping in my closet' before.
If they are not see thru boxes, take a photo and tape it to the outside of the box.
I bought clear plastic shoe boxes on eBay to house my shoe collection
^^^ this is why I love you. I label mine. The problem is all the damn clothes cover up all the boxes. Maybe I'll start the Dewey decimal system for shoes.0 -
conniehgtv wrote: »I am from Ohio our stereotype-- we live on farms and tip cows for fun...I have never lived on a farm and don't know any one who has ever tipped a cow for any reason
I grew up in WI. I knew people who tipped cows (hated it) and I was surrounded by farms.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Can I just say how awesome this thread has become?
Yes, it started out about trash bags, peanut butter, and hot chocolate powder, but it has evolved into a community within the MFP community where people actually CARE and SUPPORT one another through stupid decisions, horrible situations, and hilarious escapades.
You all rock. And if I wasn't super lazy, I would finally get around to friend requesting the rest of the regular posters.
Super great.
You're all super great!
Agreed! You're all so incredibly wonderful. And now a certain poster who shall not be named, ( @quiksylver296 did you ever find out who this was) has stopped posting here, it truly IS a safe place.
I didn't, PM me please!
If I have this figured out... I would hint that she "danced" right out of here.
DING DING DING!!! WE HAVE A WINNER!!! Your prize is free non-judged confessions for life...or as long as this thread is still alive. CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Ok, now I'm confused. I totally thought it was bun lady. Help me out, @MoHousdon.
Bun lady is the same lady.
Reading this WHY are you bringing her up publicly???! Such bad Karma,0 -
riderfangal wrote: »I had a small NSV today. I pulled out my football jersey from last year to wear today because it's game day here in Saskatchewan and it was too big like way to big not wearable too big. Go Riders!!
Yay you!0 -
AngryViking1970 wrote: »Yay! @BZAH10, you topped page 1000! Super great!!!
I was hoping it would be her!
I can't believe we've been keeping this going through 1000 pages?! We've lost a lot of people along the way, but personally, I feel as though I've made some fantastic friends. I thank you all for being so super great and awesome and making me a part of your club. I've never been a cool kid before, so I guess better late than never.
And to stay on topic, all I've had to eat today is a cheese stick and 24 oz. of water because I didn't want to miss page 1000!
I love you all, now I should probably do some actual work today. Deuces.
While I am sad I missed page 1000 I feel exactly the same.0 -
Feels good to be wearing clothes that truly fit again. No more sucking in my gut or keeping the top button of my pants unbuttoned! I am donating all of my oversized clothes so I have nothing to swell into down the road.
Good for you. I lost 50 lbs a few years ago. Gave away all my clothes. When I started having only 3 things to wear and had to unbutton my pants again I knew it was time. So I started again last year.
As of this am I am the thinnest I have been in 24 years. Yay me. 0 -
Ewww!quiksylver296 wrote: »Getting closer!
Yuck0 -
My previous 3 mile pr on the elliptical was 41:05, today I beat it at 40:01, but I'm mad because my goal has been to get under 40 minutes for a long time lol...dammit.
Anyways, EDC tomorrow and OMG I cannot contain my excitement
Here's a live stream if anyone wants to see what its all about https://screen.yahoo.com/live/event/edc-1
I'll post some pictures on sunday after we get back!!0 -
xMrBunglex wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »xMrBunglex wrote: »Confession: If I sit down for a meal I will drink whatever is in front of me non stop until I get up. Doesn't matter what it is, coffee, water, iced tea, beer..... That was part of the reason I started losing weight fairly quYou ickly when I stopped ordering calorie laden drinks when we went out, it was not uncommon for me to have 4+ of whatever drink in the hour or so we'd be at a restaurant. Now I usually stick with coffee or unsweetened iced tea.
Me too. When I was heavy, it would be beer, diet soda, Long Islands, coffee, Beam & diet...4 or 5 at a sitting.
Now I order the same thing at every restaurant - water with lime. No problem drinking 4 or 5 of those!
Were you able to walk out of the restaurant after?!? I love me a good Long Island, but after 2, I'm toast.
I'm 3+ years sober now, so I can joke about it...but in my prime, my booze tolerance was pretty ridiculous!
Oh, well done! 3-ish years clean and sober was about the time I started to feel like my brain was really kicking back into gear, if that makes sense. I can't quite believe it, but I will be reaching 29 years without alcohol or drugs this July. Good stuff
You are AMAZING. For some reason saying SUPER GREAT is just not me. But AMAZING is SUPER GREAT in spirit.0 -
xMrBunglex wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »xMrBunglex wrote: »Confession: If I sit down for a meal I will drink whatever is in front of me non stop until I get up. Doesn't matter what it is, coffee, water, iced tea, beer..... That was part of the reason I started losing weight fairly quickly when I stopped ordering calorie laden drinks when we went out, it was not uncommon for me to have 4+ of whatever drink in the hour or so we'd be at a restaurant. Now I usually stick with coffee or unsweetened iced tea.
Me too. When I was heavy, it would be beer, diet soda, Long Islands, coffee, Beam & diet...4 or 5 at a sitting.
Now I order the same thing at every restaurant - water with lime. No problem drinking 4 or 5 of those!
Were you able to walk out of the restaurant after?!? I love me a good Long Island, but after 2, I'm toast.
I'm 3+ years sober now, so I can joke about it...but in my prime, my booze tolerance was pretty ridiculous!
I have my 6 months anniversary next week, I hope I can make it as long as you!
You rock! You can do this.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I know you hate people apologising for asking you questions, @Susieq_1994, but I only do because I feel like that stereotypical ignorant privileged white girl, and I don't want to offend.
So...there is that - robe, I'm sorry, I don't know the word for it - the long black one with the head and face covering. But it gets to 60C in Oman, right? So, um...how do the women not die of heatstroke?
That's alright, it doesn't offend me!
It's called an abaya, and most of them don't cover the head or face--They're basically just black dresses. I wear one myself. The headscarf and niqab (face covering) are all separate pieces. There is one that has a head covering attached as well, but these are mostly worn by older ladies, as it's just an older style.
That said, I wear the abaya and headscarf. I don't find it hot, personally--I actually find it cooler than when I wear "regular" clothing like skirts and blouses because the abaya tends to be very lightweight. It's also because I've been covering for a very long time--If I didn't cover, I'd probably feel hotter due to the sun burning my skin!
My sister wears a niqab, and according to her, it did feel very hot in the first week, but she says it doesn't feel like that anymore now that she's used to it.
Just an add-on: The abaya isn't a must, Islamically. Women are encouraged not to wear very bright colors for the purpose of attracting men (yes, men have a rule that involves not attracting women--it isn't a sexist rule), but you're allowed to wear whatever color you like, as long as you're covered properly.
I prefer the abaya in Saudi Arabia because everyone wears it (I've seen like... two people so far that didn't... Even the non-Muslims wear it!) and I just don't want to stand out. In Oman, I often wear regular colored dresses, skirts, blouses, etc. Unless I'm lazy. Because the abaya is really easy to just throw on and be done.
Can I ask some follow ups? You say your sister wears a niqab; was that something she decided to do as an adult? And how did she come to that decision? And are you wearing your regular clothes under the abaya? Or is it like a "dress".
Thanks for educating me!
Yes, she decided to start wearing it two years ago. Nobody else in our family wears it and she's unmarried, so nobody influenced her in that decision--in Islam there are some scholars (I refuse to count the Sheikh Google people...) who believe the niqab is obligatory, and others who believe it is simply recommended based on evidence from the Qur'an and hadith. After doing some studying, my sister chose to go with the scholars who believe it's obligatory, and began covering her face from then on.
You do have to wear clothing under an abaya--it's basically a cover, but the material is too thin to wear with nothing but underwear underneath, for example. I usually wear jeans and a tank top underneath it--since we have to remain covered, it's best to have your legs covered in case the wind blows it up, for example. But I would wear the same under a dress, actually, although I would probably wear cotton pants underneath in that case.
Oh, can I ask if you have one of these? I've always wondered if it was hard to swim in the modest suits, because of the extra fabric:
Nope, I don't own one--those suits actually don't meet the fardh (obligatory) requirements for modest clothing for women, especially because they cling when they're wet, and the shape of the body is revealed, which is the major requirement of covering.
If I'm going to swim, I swim in an all-women's facility with a modest swimsuit (even women aren't supposed to reveal nakedness to other women) or just jump into the ocean fully clothed because that's fun.
Am I the only one who loves being naked? I don't know why but I do! Could be because ( I know I say this a lot but it's true) I really have no shame...haters going to hate!
I hate being naked. I hate skin touching skin. And I totally hate when running any part of my body touching any other part. I tried running in a sports bra ONCE. Never again. Yes I am a prude (I believe I have said this before).0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »
LOL thanks! That's me but it was a good day and good lighting0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »
First time thing. Sigh. Oh well.
Anyway, I hope you all have a good weekend!
Wasn't this the day you were supposed to have the "talk"? Or am I completely wrong
Yes, he decided he was too tired to come over which caused another fight. We did end up talking Saturday. I'm going to try to work things out but I'm still torn. I want to try therapy and then if nothing changes, I'm done.
My heart physically hurts because I want to stay but yet leave. When things are good they are wonderful but I don't know if I can forgive, forget and trust again. That's why I want to try therapy first.
Now to catch up with the rest of the thread.
Can I ask a question, I apologise if it's intrusive. I'm guessing from some of the things you've said you live apart? But you said you've been together 11 years. Is moving in together something you've discussed? And if so what has stopped you?
Sorry I just saw this. Yea we live apart. We stay together (or used to-not so much now) a lot though. We had planned on moving in together but things keep getting in the way. I seriously think he is someone who doesn't want to make a serious commitment. That is one reason why I don't think this will work either way.
It sucks that I'm so in love with someone that I will probably have to leave someday. I just don't know how I'm going to get through everything.
That just breaks my heart. I'm so sorry you've invested so much time in someone that doesn't seem to feel the same way. That really sucks. I wish you all the best because you deserve to be happy regardless if that's with or without someone else. Hugs to you, friend.
Thank you. He was a no show again last night (after he told me he would try to make me a priority...that shows me how important I am). I think he is done.
I have been reading and reading hoping to get back to this before I have to leave for the barn (I prefer to respond to the original posts so people can see what I am responding to and I don't repeat) but... Get rid of him. Don't 'think' he is done. Be done. This is a clear sign, and even if its not, anyone that inconsiderate needs to be removed from your life. I decided a long time time ago that if people aren't adding to your life, they should be removed. You are clearly a wonderful person, you will find the right one eventually, but you deserve better than this.
Adding my hugs. Keep posting we are are here for you!
Thank you. I'm working on this.
Good.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »
Oh, I will say "My friend Susie."
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
I start to talk about you guys in real life then stop as I realize people will think I am nuts. Especially my best friend. I think she thinks I am crazy how involved I am with a bunch of people I have never met.
Oh, my other half knows full well that I have Internet friends who I talk to just about daily. When I brought the Halo Top home I explained to him where I heard about it, and about @Franci27's warning not to eat a whole pint at once.
He can't judge me because he met several friends we now know in real life on a message board years ago, when it wasn't nearly as common a thing to do. Ha!
... I have to admit that I find it a little embarrassing that I'm not even slightly ashamed to go on and on about you guys in real life. With my anxiety, the only "friends" I've ever had at all have pretty much been online friends, so I don't find it weird in the least. Same goes for my sister, actually!
I don't think either of us has ever really had any "real" friends--we're not Arab enough for the Arabs and we aren't western enough for the westerners (Americans/British/fellow English speakers of whatever country. We tend to call them all westerners, don't ask me why...). We're kind of just stuck in the middle.
You are totally my friend. And I am as western as they come.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
You're awesome. I like to think (optimistically) that in my area (which has a lot of new Canadians and also quite a large Islamic Academy private school) we're pretty accepting and knowledgeable about the larger minority groups in our city, but I know it isn't always the case and, speaking for myself, I don't know anyone who grew up in the Middle East (apart from some friends who grew up in expat compounds), so I find your life especially interesting. All my Muslim acquaintances are at least second-generation Canadians so I've never heard much about day-to-day life somewhere like Saudi Arabia or Oman.
Aww, thank you! I hope you're right, but I do doubt that everyone in a particular area is accepting and knowledgeable about Muslims. But I guess finding someone who is from/lives in the Middle East can be a new experience!
I once saw a guy in an online chatroom talking about how he worked in Saudi Arabia and how everyone owned a camel and used them to get to work and school, and everyone lived in tents. I thought it was ridiculously stupid of him to do that--it just promotes making Arabs look like a bunch of backwards weirdos. I don't think he had actually visited the Middle East in his life. -_-
Sounds like something akin to every person from Texas owning a horse and having an oil well in their back yard. I live there and know it isn't true, just the stereotype that gets put out there.
Ahh, the oil well. We have that stereotype too, being from the Gulf. Some people in a chat room used to refer to me and my sister as oil princesses. And then they were shocked when they found out that everyone in the Gulf is not, in fact, a millionaire. O.o
Thanks to Jersey Shore everyone thinks people from New Jersey are classless humans with bad accents. And those people weren't even from New Jersey!
Oh, I can only imagine how annoying that stereotype is to deal with! I know it was just a silly thing from that show and that people from New Jersey aren't like that, but on Friday's I call myself a Jersey Girl (jokingly) because my routine after work is: gym, tan, laundry.
Since I NEVER saw the show I can't comment but people from NJ are awesome ( not judging us in a positive way here).0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »I was watching Terminator 2 last night and made an AMAZING epiphany!!! @BZAH10 is Sarah Connor!! I recognize the shoulder!!!
What an amazing body. New goal!0 -
1:20am and in bed! Gonna watch some Friends on Netflix and go to bed, just gonna start season nine tonight....it is a pretty good show...
I got a condolence card in the mail from my vet today...that was really nice...
Work was busy and tiring tonight...and the next 6-8 days are gonna be a bit hellish....gonna make sure I get enough sleep and do not stress eat!
Have a great weekend all!!0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I know you hate people apologising for asking you questions, @Susieq_1994, but I only do because I feel like that stereotypical ignorant privileged white girl, and I don't want to offend.
So...there is that - robe, I'm sorry, I don't know the word for it - the long black one with the head and face covering. But it gets to 60C in Oman, right? So, um...how do the women not die of heatstroke?
That's alright, it doesn't offend me!
It's called an abaya, and most of them don't cover the head or face--They're basically just black dresses. I wear one myself. The headscarf and niqab (face covering) are all separate pieces. There is one that has a head covering attached as well, but these are mostly worn by older ladies, as it's just an older style.
That said, I wear the abaya and headscarf. I don't find it hot, personally--I actually find it cooler than when I wear "regular" clothing like skirts and blouses because the abaya tends to be very lightweight. It's also because I've been covering for a very long time--If I didn't cover, I'd probably feel hotter due to the sun burning my skin!
My sister wears a niqab, and according to her, it did feel very hot in the first week, but she says it doesn't feel like that anymore now that she's used to it.
Just an add-on: The abaya isn't a must, Islamically. Women are encouraged not to wear very bright colors for the purpose of attracting men (yes, men have a rule that involves not attracting women--it isn't a sexist rule), but you're allowed to wear whatever color you like, as long as you're covered properly.
I prefer the abaya in Saudi Arabia because everyone wears it (I've seen like... two people so far that didn't... Even the non-Muslims wear it!) and I just don't want to stand out. In Oman, I often wear regular colored dresses, skirts, blouses, etc. Unless I'm lazy. Because the abaya is really easy to just throw on and be done.
Can I ask some follow ups? You say your sister wears a niqab; was that something she decided to do as an adult? And how did she come to that decision? And are you wearing your regular clothes under the abaya? Or is it like a "dress".
Thanks for educating me!
Yes, she decided to start wearing it two years ago. Nobody else in our family wears it and she's unmarried, so nobody influenced her in that decision--in Islam there are some scholars (I refuse to count the Sheikh Google people...) who believe the niqab is obligatory, and others who believe it is simply recommended based on evidence from the Qur'an and hadith. After doing some studying, my sister chose to go with the scholars who believe it's obligatory, and began covering her face from then on.
You do have to wear clothing under an abaya--it's basically a cover, but the material is too thin to wear with nothing but underwear underneath, for example. I usually wear jeans and a tank top underneath it--since we have to remain covered, it's best to have your legs covered in case the wind blows it up, for example. But I would wear the same under a dress, actually, although I would probably wear cotton pants underneath in that case.
Oh, can I ask if you have one of these? I've always wondered if it was hard to swim in the modest suits, because of the extra fabric:
Nope, I don't own one--those suits actually don't meet the fardh (obligatory) requirements for modest clothing for women, especially because they cling when they're wet, and the shape of the body is revealed, which is the major requirement of covering.
If I'm going to swim, I swim in an all-women's facility with a modest swimsuit (even women aren't supposed to reveal nakedness to other women) or just jump into the ocean fully clothed because that's fun. ;)
I'm not even totally caught up, but I am SO GLAD you opened up to us here @Susieq_1994 and are giving us all this info, both about your culture and your own personal self. I just gotta let it out: This girl *kitten* rocks!
Same goes for a lot of our regulars: @MoHousdon @Italian_Buju (BTW we are testing some AWESOME stuff here at my facility regarding diabetes, might be while before human clinical trials though.) @BZAH10 @pofoster21 @quiksylver296 @FrancI27 (I hope that's the right one) Sorry if I forgot some peeps! I love this thread so much. I think I love this thread more than I love guacamole.... and that's REALLY saying something.0 -
kelly_c_77 wrote: »
Aha! So, it was not known that there was leftover candy...makes a little more sense now. And yes, go clean out his closet and see what you find!AngryViking1970 wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »
You had chocolate leftover from Easter? How?!AngryViking1970 wrote: »So, for dinner last night I had Cheese Nips and a handful of chocolate eggs leftover from Easter. And beer. Yay!
Seriously, tell me how.
I was as shocked as you guys. For Easter, my BIL gave my son a cardboard egg "thing" with candy in it and it's been sitting on his dresser since then. I assumed it was empty, because candy + my kid, or filled with Legos or something. But lo, it was not! I need to clean up in there more often.
I still have Easter candy left. As a matter of fact, I haven't touched my dark chocolate bunny yet. I know it's there, I just don't use calories on candy very often. I'd rather use them on fries or bacon cheeseburgers.
Finally, someone who gets me.0
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