Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
Replies
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I hid a pint of Ben & Jerry's Hazed & Confused by putting it an empty bag of frozen vegetables. My kids...husband...looked right past it as I secretly worked on it. Took me about four days to polish it off and I couldn't decide what was more satisfying. The ice cream itself Or having ice cream JUST FOR ME safely, closely, stored in my freezer and no one pestering me to let them have some! Issues, hu? Layed out for you there, clear as can be!
I think this is hysterical and applaud your ingenuity!0 -
HereWeGoAgain7 wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote:Wow, I so admire you for stepping up to parent a child you never asked for. You clearly love him and have sacrificed so much for him. I have 4 kids under 10 ( soon to have number 5) but having them was my own choice and I have to deal with it, no matter how hard it can be (and some days I just want to lock myself in the bathroom with a bottle of vodka). I agree that no woman should feel pressured to have children if she doesn't want to. Just because you're born with a womb doesn't mean you're obligated to use it.
I cannot agree more with that statement. I am 29 years old and am sick and tired of hearing from doctors, friends, and my in-laws that I will change my mind about kids. I haven't wanted kids since I was 16 and my brother had his first daughter. I was basically raising the baby while he and his woman slept and partied until I moved out at 18. In fact one of my mandatory things on my dating profile when I met my husband. We still do not want children, five years later. We enjoy the freedom of not having children, both traveling and financially. My family has multiple hereditary issues that I don't want to pass onto an unsuspecting child, not to mention that I have horribly painful cysts when I do ovulate. However, every time I broach the subject of getting an ovariectomy to remove my right ovary (severe scarring from multiple cysts makes any ovulation on that side extremely painful) and my left tube tied the doctors repeatedly tell me I am too young to make that decision. So let me get this straight...at 18 I can vote, join the US military, marry, and have children, which are all decisions that affect me the rest of my life. But at almost 30 I am too young to decide on something so important as NOT wanting children?
However, members of his family have found out they cannot have children of their own. While this saddens me, because they truly want kids, I am tired of everyone on his side of the family getting on our case because we are potentially able to have children but are not willing too. The last time this came up they actually suggested that I donate eggs to them (since that is the only reason they cannon have kids).
*Sorry to vent my spleen on this but it truly does annoy me.
Edited to fix grammar and quotes.
I can't believe your family asked you to do this and I would find some new doctors. This is all your decision all the way. Especially at 30. I think you would know by now if you wanted to change your mind!0 -
Caught up!
I'm not too worried about this parenting thing. I'm worried about the nitty, grittiness of sleep deprivation and exhaustion that comes with the early days, but beyond ensuring the kid's physical well-being, I feel like the actual 'parenting' part will be okay. I'm a decent person. My husband is a decent person. My parents were decent people and my siblings and I turned out fine. Not a lot of drama, not a lot of scares and we all put up with one another to varying degrees. Sure I expect there will be arguments and frustrations and bumps in the road, but I'm not aiming for perfection as I think that probably doesn't exist.
Am I being too blasé about the whole thing?!
No. Babies, while in the womb feed off of a mother's stress or lack thereof. The more relaxed you are, the better for the baby.
After they are born, they still feed off of the stress level of the people they are around the most. IME, relaxed, easy-going parents seem happier. Still balancing out discipline, of course. But not getting worked up over every little thing, losing your temper, etc. will benefit both you and your baby. During your pregnancy, don't let all the horror stories of others change your attitude you posted above!
Thank you for that, very helpful advice! I'm probably not going to be online for the next 4 days so who knows if I will ever catch back up.
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pofoster21 wrote: »HereWeGoAgain7 wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote:Wow, I so admire you for stepping up to parent a child you never asked for. You clearly love him and have sacrificed so much for him. I have 4 kids under 10 ( soon to have number 5) but having them was my own choice and I have to deal with it, no matter how hard it can be (and some days I just want to lock myself in the bathroom with a bottle of vodka). I agree that no woman should feel pressured to have children if she doesn't want to. Just because you're born with a womb doesn't mean you're obligated to use it.
I cannot agree more with that statement. I am 29 years old and am sick and tired of hearing from doctors, friends, and my in-laws that I will change my mind about kids. I haven't wanted kids since I was 16 and my brother had his first daughter. I was basically raising the baby while he and his woman slept and partied until I moved out at 18. In fact one of my mandatory things on my dating profile when I met my husband. We still do not want children, five years later. We enjoy the freedom of not having children, both traveling and financially. My family has multiple hereditary issues that I don't want to pass onto an unsuspecting child, not to mention that I have horribly painful cysts when I do ovulate. However, every time I broach the subject of getting an ovariectomy to remove my right ovary (severe scarring from multiple cysts makes any ovulation on that side extremely painful) and my left tube tied the doctors repeatedly tell me I am too young to make that decision. So let me get this straight...at 18 I can vote, join the US military, marry, and have children, which are all decisions that affect me the rest of my life. But at almost 30 I am too young to decide on something so important as NOT wanting children?
However, members of his family have found out they cannot have children of their own. While this saddens me, because they truly want kids, I am tired of everyone on his side of the family getting on our case because we are potentially able to have children but are not willing too. The last time this came up they actually suggested that I donate eggs to them (since that is the only reason they cannon have kids).
*Sorry to vent my spleen on this but it truly does annoy me.
Edited to fix grammar and quotes.
I can't believe your family asked you to do this and I would find some new doctors. This is all your decision all the way. Especially at 30. I think you would know by now if you wanted to change your mind!
LOL I am active duty military for the US. Ergo, they get slightly more say on my body then I would like. Luckily 30 is the magic age, so I can start fighting in December (but I'm getting a three year birth control in July just incase). As far as the family members go, I just avoid them as much as possible and every time they bring it up tell them in a very flat voice that my eggs are not for donation.0 -
HereWeGoAgain7 wrote: »However, members of his family have found out they cannot have children of their own. While this saddens me, because they truly want kids, I am tired of everyone on his side of the family getting on our case because we are potentially able to have children but are not willing too. The last time this came up they actually suggested that I donate eggs to them (since that is the only reason they cannon have kids).
Argh That's the kind of thing I do disagree with. Leave my organs alone! I have a perfectly good liver, that doesn't mean I'm going to drink myself stupid, just because I can. I also have a very good pair of kidneys, stop shoving tea-toxes and cleansers in my face. Bargh!
Rant over. Apologies
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RuefulRabbit wrote: »I skipped the first 637 pages...
Confession: I don't eat nearly the calories MFP says I should.
Not acceptable!
You have to at least find a random post from somewhere in the middle to quote. LOL
The funniest stuff is in the beginning. I would go back and read at least the first few hundred pages. You won't regret it.0 -
MPF is eating half my posts???0
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pofoster21 wrote: »MPF is eating half my posts???
forum's on its summer cut0 -
kelly_c_77 wrote: »It is taking everything in me to hold myself together.. Next Friday will be the one year anniversary of my Mom's death. Somehow it still hasn't hit me as being real...like, I know she's gone, but something in me just will not accept it. I don't know how to move on. It doesn't help that 15 days after losing her, my 15 year old dog(my first "child") died. The past year has just been a giant roller coaster. I have never been an angry person and have never turned to food for comfort until all of this. I have thought so many times about going to speak to someone...but I just can't bring myself to do it.
I have been lurking this thread from day one..keeping up every day... and I am overwhelmed by all the support you show each other and the friendships that have formed. I feel like I've gotten to know you all through all of your confessions/comments/advice/jokes...and I can relate to so many of you. I guess I felt I could let it all out here.
Sigh...
I am so sorry. I lost my dad when I was 21 and still miss him every day. I am terrified of losing my mom. She is in great health but she is 82. My thoughts are with you! And I am sorry about your dog.0 -
HereWeGoAgain7 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »HereWeGoAgain7 wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote:Wow, I so admire you for stepping up to parent a child you never asked for. You clearly love him and have sacrificed so much for him. I have 4 kids under 10 ( soon to have number 5) but having them was my own choice and I have to deal with it, no matter how hard it can be (and some days I just want to lock myself in the bathroom with a bottle of vodka). I agree that no woman should feel pressured to have children if she doesn't want to. Just because you're born with a womb doesn't mean you're obligated to use it.
I cannot agree more with that statement. I am 29 years old and am sick and tired of hearing from doctors, friends, and my in-laws that I will change my mind about kids. I haven't wanted kids since I was 16 and my brother had his first daughter. I was basically raising the baby while he and his woman slept and partied until I moved out at 18. In fact one of my mandatory things on my dating profile when I met my husband. We still do not want children, five years later. We enjoy the freedom of not having children, both traveling and financially. My family has multiple hereditary issues that I don't want to pass onto an unsuspecting child, not to mention that I have horribly painful cysts when I do ovulate. However, every time I broach the subject of getting an ovariectomy to remove my right ovary (severe scarring from multiple cysts makes any ovulation on that side extremely painful) and my left tube tied the doctors repeatedly tell me I am too young to make that decision. So let me get this straight...at 18 I can vote, join the US military, marry, and have children, which are all decisions that affect me the rest of my life. But at almost 30 I am too young to decide on something so important as NOT wanting children?
However, members of his family have found out they cannot have children of their own. While this saddens me, because they truly want kids, I am tired of everyone on his side of the family getting on our case because we are potentially able to have children but are not willing too. The last time this came up they actually suggested that I donate eggs to them (since that is the only reason they cannon have kids).
*Sorry to vent my spleen on this but it truly does annoy me.
Edited to fix grammar and quotes.
I can't believe your family asked you to do this and I would find some new doctors. This is all your decision all the way. Especially at 30. I think you would know by now if you wanted to change your mind!
LOL I am active duty military for the US. Ergo, they get slightly more say on my body then I would like. Luckily 30 is the magic age, so I can start fighting in December (but I'm getting a three year birth control in July just incase). As far as the family members go, I just avoid them as much as possible and every time they bring it up tell them in a very flat voice that my eggs are not for donation.
Seriously. Eggs are 1/2 a child. You don't just go handing them out. Like donating blood or something.0 -
I hid a pint of Ben & Jerry's Hazed & Confused by putting it an empty bag of frozen vegetables. My kids...husband...looked right past it as I secretly worked on it. Took me about four days to polish it off and I couldn't decide what was more satisfying. The ice cream itself Or having ice cream JUST FOR ME safely, closely, stored in my freezer and no one pestering me to let them have some! Issues, hu? Layed out for you there, clear as can be!
Brilliant!0 -
Clearly the boards need more coffee too.0
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Good Morning folks.....my degu is still alive but is not taking full advantage of the fact that I am desperate for him to eat and is on a corn flakes only diet
Now I am scared that is gonna make him sick since normally he is only supposed to have very little in the way of treats.....and is basically getting no nutrients, he won't even eat his vitamins that he normally loves every morning....
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I hid a pint of Ben & Jerry's Hazed & Confused by putting it an empty bag of frozen vegetables. My kids...husband...looked right past it as I secretly worked on it. Took me about four days to polish it off and I couldn't decide what was more satisfying. The ice cream itself Or having ice cream JUST FOR ME safely, closely, stored in my freezer and no one pestering me to let them have some! Issues, hu? Layed out for you there, clear as can be!
Nice! I can't do that, I will sit and eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's Half Baked in one sitting
It's sooooo good! 0 -
MaggieLoo79 wrote: »I wear spanx all the time. I never leave the house without something to keep my tummy held in.
SNAP!! But who cares? I feel better and quite frankly it is better for others to look at that than my wobbly bits flinging round like spaniel's ears!0 -
FluffySandwich wrote: »I decided to try the stationary bike at the gym today.... it was almost successful in murdering my butt. I thought the stationary bike was going to be easy after 40 minutes of stairmaster, but nope!!! They need to invest in some comfy seats so my tush can stop screaming at me.
That's the main thing keeping me from getting a bike. Mix a Lot wrote a song about it once...
LOL as an avid cyclist that rides about 300 miles a month on average, I assure you those pains go away rather quickly. Your sit bones just need to time to adjust to the new routine.0 -
Confession - I get really annoyed when weighing some packaged food and finding out that something is 30 more calories than what it should be. Throws my day off...0
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I hid a pint of Ben & Jerry's Hazed & Confused by putting it an empty bag of frozen vegetables. My kids...husband...looked right past it as I secretly worked on it. Took me about four days to polish it off and I couldn't decide what was more satisfying. The ice cream itself Or having ice cream JUST FOR ME safely, closely, stored in my freezer and no one pestering me to let them have some! Issues, hu? Layed out for you there, clear as can be!
Nevermind the family..... but what kind of stark raving psychopath takes 4 DAYS to eat a pint?!?! lmaoNice! I can't do that, I will sit and eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's Half Baked in one sitting It's sooooo good!
See, she get's it. lolol0 -
xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »One of my best friends is an only child and she turned out terrific. Very, very intelligent, witty, and mature. I don't think being an only child makes you damaged at all. I do love my siblings, though... even if sometimes I compare myself to my sister and feel inadequate
(she's beautiful and has the most gorgeous singing voice).
I feel you there- by the way I'm the brunette in my picture- the blonde is my sister. She is GORGEOUS it's not even funny. Love her to death but sometimes get so jealous of her haha. I know what you mean though!
I don't think it's damaging to only have one kid but I'm one of five and I can't imagine not having tons of siblings they're my best friends
You are gorgeous too!
Wish I was closer with my siblings. I have two younger brothers. One is in the Army, stationed in Germany, and is married with kids so I don't talk to him very often. The other is a mess and the only time he calls is to ask for money, which I stopped giving to him over ten years ago.
I have 2 younger brothers, neither one of which I am close with, all because of the huge age gap. There's 8.5 and 7.5 yrs between us and I was basically a 2nd mom, which I resented. I remember how much I hated being an only child until they came, and then I got stuck taking care of them a lot.
My family is like that- brother is 30, I'm 29, sister is 23, brother is 20 and other brother is 17 so the last two are quite far in age from my brother and I. But now that we're all older and the two brothers will be 21 and 18 this year we've all become very close!
My confession is I love my boyfriend and we're talking about me moving to the UK next year but I'm super nervous to be that far from my family and it's just a HUGE committment and so different and scary!
That is scary and exciting!0 -
kawatmough wrote: »MaggieLoo79 wrote: »I wear spanx all the time. I never leave the house without something to keep my tummy held in.
SNAP!! But who cares? I feel better and quite frankly it is better for others to look at that than my wobbly bits flinging round like spaniel's ears!
You are funny
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lemurcat12 wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »I confess if you are a walker/jogger/cyclist (yes, even cyclists....) that talks on your phone WITHOUT a Bluetooth or even a wired headset, chances are I want to slap the phone out of your hand for how ridiculous you look holding that device up to your head during a 'workout'. Don't have a Bluetooth or you're technology challenged? Fine. Most phones come with a headset right out of the box. Plug it in and USE IT. Better yet.... save the poor soul on the other end from your non-stop drivel in labored form (oh how pleasant that heavy breathing must sound) and call them afterwards.
Unless it's an emergency I refuse to be on the receiving end of those calls. If I can tell someone is doing something else or is preoccupied, I tell them to call me back later, then hang up. Doesn't happen often because very few people call me and the ones who do know how I am about that. But, as in your example, I often wonder who would put up with that?
LOL... good question. I know I wouldn't nor would I subject someone else to such torture.
It wasn't more than a week ago while cycling home I saw a lady riding her bike.... up a somewhat steep hill.... with head cocked to the side and her cell phone literally pinned between her shoulder and ear so she could pedal up the hill and still keep both hands on the handlebars..... pardon me but WTH... did I just SEE that ?!?!
What did 5 fingers say to the face? *SLAP*
How does that not KILL your neck?! I have a shoulder rest on my work phone and with my cell phone I never hold it up to my ear with my shoulder. Granted I have 3 vertebrae in my neck turned the wrong way and I get monthly massages to deal with the kinks in my neck and the chain reaction in my shoulders and back, but I can't imagine working out (attempting to do something good for your body) and then damaging your neck at the same time. I suppose some phone calls just can't wait.
Some people talk for the simple sake of hearing their own mouth run. LMAO >_<
The people that get me are the ones who talk on their cellphone while they're in a public restroom in the stall doing their number one or number two. I guess to each their own.
I heard/saw someone do this at the gym once. Just continued talking as she peed, and then flushed. If I was on the phone with someone and heard all that, I wouldn't be too impressed. Really, you can call me back!
Seriously.
Reminds me of how a secretary at a place where I had a summer job, once upon a time, told me about how she'd been transcribing this dictation left for her by one of the partners and thought it had some strange background noises until it ended with a flush, causing her to put everything together.
I just can't imagine doing that. What are people thinking sometimes?
I believe I have said this before but I call people out when they do that. Seriously gross. And disrespectful to others in a public bathroom (who says the person on the other end can't hear you too?). I have hung up on my sister for doing this to me.0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »I am really upset this morning because my degu is dying, I am sure of it now.....he has almost completely stopped eating and now his fur is falling out.....I was up at 4am hand feeding him corn flakes but have to leave for work now and am terrified he is going to die by himself in his cage while I am not home....I can't stop crying......its gonna be a long day, or few days, every time I have to leave the house.....
so sorry to read this it must be hard for you. Hugs!
I really had no idea how difficult it is to deal with a loss of your pet until today - previously we had a dog when I was a teenager and it was put to sleep when I was already moved out of the family home and at uni so it did not get to me as much as it could. This morning I have taken our rabbit pet to be euthanised as Blackie broke his leg over the weekend; they suggested amputation last night during the consultation, but with his age and some other health issues we decided it would be kinder to put him to sleep. I was an emotional mess when I arrived at the clinic and had to kick myself hard afterwards to be able to drive back home. I couldn't face going to work today and spent the day at home finding distractions so I don't have to think about it.
I am so sorry about your bunny. Losing a pet is as hard as losing a person. You will always be missing that part of your soul.0 -
Confession.... beyond annoyed at the scale this morning. Assuming most was sodium water weight gain from the weekend & Monday, I was expecting to see a drop this morning (I am still 3 lbs over from Friday). Add that to not being able to commute today (rain) has made me a grump today. Oh and I am covering 2 desks at work again today so there's that. Yay. >_<0
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ObiWanJacoby_ wrote: »I'm afraid that one day I'll say f it and gain all my weight back.
I think we all worry about that. And have done it. I know I have. I am hoping this time it sticks. I think this community helps.0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »Good Morning folks.....my degu is still alive but is not taking full advantage of the fact that I am desperate for him to eat and is on a corn flakes only diet
Now I am scared that is gonna make him sick since normally he is only supposed to have very little in the way of treats.....and is basically getting no nutrients, he won't even eat his vitamins that he normally loves every morning....
No other food that will tempt him? I have no idea what a normal degu diet is but I know when I've had anorexic dogs, I've tried to shovel anything remotely food-ish in there.
Poor little guy. Hope he rallies.0 -
FluffySandwich wrote: »I decided to try the stationary bike at the gym today.... it was almost successful in murdering my butt. I thought the stationary bike was going to be easy after 40 minutes of stairmaster, but nope!!! They need to invest in some comfy seats so my tush can stop screaming at me.
That's the main thing keeping me from getting a bike. Mix a Lot wrote a song about it once...
LOL! And so true! My son got a new bike a couple weeks ago...I tried to ride it...No flipping way!0 -
xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »
Parenting is so hard, I am taking every effort to never have to do it.
And think about it, parenting with TWO parents is hard... and single parents...woah. AND if everyone is working?!
Everyone else can go ahead and make successful and wonderful humans. I do not feel strong enough to partake in that endeavor.
ETA: I am serious about everything in this post. I see parenting as very difficult. It takes skills and abilities that I am pretty sure I do not possess.
Here's something I've never confessed IRL before...
I don't enjoy parenting. I don't think I was meant to be a mum.
Don't get me wrong, I love my boys with all my heart. I give all of myself to them to ensure they feel loved, are happy and healthy.
But I just don't think I was cut out for it. I've had pretty severe postnatal depression since my first was born 3 years ago and I'm sure that contributes, but I do wonder if its just my personality. Also, I carry a lot of guilt over my depression, its so unfair to them and I worry I'm messing up their whole lives
Aaaaaaaand now I want to cover my feelings in food.
I could've pretty much wrote this post, word for word. I have a 3.5 yr old and an 8 month old (both boys). Everyone tells me I'm an awesome mom, but I feel like I'm failing at it constantly. It's not effortless for me like everyone else I see on Facebook. I have to WORK at my patience.
To be fair, I'm pretty sure I have PPD and my 3.5 yr old is a DRAMA QUEEN and can be difficult, but still. I give everything I have in me to them, literally, and I still feel like I'm doing it wrong.
Part of my inability to keep the weight off is I eat my feelings at night alone when they're in bed, because I sit and relive my parenting failures for the day in my head, over and over.
And hi, I've lurked but decided to post in the thread today
Welcome to the thread! Please don't beat yourself up! We all do it. Many admissions and confessions regarding that here. It does you nor your children any good. Don't rehash the past. Just do your best every day. That's all your kids need. Do seek help for PPD because that is serious to deal with.
Also, the people who make self-promoting parenting posts on Facebook are liars. Ignore all that noise.
This made me laugh. That has to be the most judgmental thing you have ever said! (And I love it!)0 -
kellienw335 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »I decided to try the stationary bike at the gym today.... it was almost successful in murdering my butt. I thought the stationary bike was going to be easy after 40 minutes of stairmaster, but nope!!! They need to invest in some comfy seats so my tush can stop screaming at me.
That's the main thing keeping me from getting a bike. Mix a Lot wrote a song about it once...
LOL! And so true! My son got a new bike a couple weeks ago...I tried to ride it...No flipping way!
The pains subside rather quickly. Usually about a week for new riders... After that, you are good to go!
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kellienw335 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »I decided to try the stationary bike at the gym today.... it was almost successful in murdering my butt. I thought the stationary bike was going to be easy after 40 minutes of stairmaster, but nope!!! They need to invest in some comfy seats so my tush can stop screaming at me.
That's the main thing keeping me from getting a bike. Mix a Lot wrote a song about it once...
LOL! And so true! My son got a new bike a couple weeks ago...I tried to ride it...No flipping way!
I replaced the seat on my cruiser bike last summer because the one that it came with was like a medieval torture device. The new one is all wide and cushy. My butt deserves a smooth luxurious ride.0 -
nicsflyingcircus wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Caught up!
I'm not too worried about this parenting thing. I'm worried about the nitty, grittiness of sleep deprivation and exhaustion that comes with the early days, but beyond ensuring the kid's physical well-being, I feel like the actual 'parenting' part will be okay. I'm a decent person. My husband is a decent person. My parents were decent people and my siblings and I turned out fine. Not a lot of drama, not a lot of scares and we all put up with one another to varying degrees. Sure I expect there will be arguments and frustrations and bumps in the road, but I'm not aiming for perfection as I think that probably doesn't exist.
Am I being too blasé about the whole thing?!
Nah. I will say though that based on nothing but my time on pregnancy message boards (tip: do not go to a pregnancy message board, the craziest people spend all day there) most first babies seem to be easy. That's how they trick you into having another one. My oldest was the easiest baby in the world. I found myself thinking "why do people complain about this?". Five years later when I had my daughter, I found out how bad it could be. My daughter has also taught me to be a lot less judgmental about parenting styles. I parented her in the same general way as my son, and she is ?
I feel this exact way about my 4th child. She can be so sweet sometimes, but EVERYTHING is a damned battle with her. I cannot possibly convey how mule-obstinate she can be about the smallest things. It doesn't help that the older three (one of whom has to share a room with her) have figured out how to trigger her demon rages.
All her teachers love her though, so I am occasionally "grateful" she saves her insanity for her father and I mostly.
This is my 3.5 yr old. Obstinate as anything, every frickin thing is an epic battle, etc.0
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