Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

peleroja wrote: »

Came to say I'm an only child too and I am so grateful for it. I have an excellent relationship with my parents, no family drama, and because they only had me they were able to provide me with a lot of stuff I might not have had otherwise. Having only one kid meant they were able to let me take tons of classes and lessons and go to camps and stuff (not only because they could be expensive but because they had the time and energy to take me to all of it), travel (including a student exchange), let me graduate uni without debt, etc etc. They gave me a lot, both materially and otherwise, because one kid meant I got a lot of their time and energy.

Not to say that people don't or can't do that for their kids if they have more than one, just saying that one kid is easier to shuttle around to piano and horseback riding and gymnastics and you don't have to worry about being fair and giving both kids the same opportunities when one wants to go on a school trip abroad or whatever. And it's definitely selfishly nice to not have to share my parents' attention, truthfully.

My mom did start a dayhome out of our house when I was three, though, to make sure I spent lots of time with other kids and didn't end up a spoiled little terror. So I would say that making sure only children get plenty of interaction with other kids is a good idea.

On an unrelated note, I'm leaving to get married in Vegas tomorrow! Weeeeeeee! And I confess that I'm more excited about going on vacation than I am about the wedding, lol. Like, I'm really happy we're getting married, but I just don't care much about the actual wedding...

MoHousdon wrote: »

Daily confession.

My husband's daughter's boyfriend broke up with her on Mother's Day and she is "living" with us now. I put living in quotes because since last Tuesday, she's stayed the night once or twice, the rest of the nights (she works evenings) she doesn't bother coming home or even calling to say she's not going to be home. I understand she's an adult being 19, but I also expect her to show us some gratitude and respect for taking her and her cat in when she didn't really have anywhere else to go. Although, she must have SOMEWHERE to sleep since she's not sleeping in our house.

I am fully miffed about the whole thing because I feel like she is using us to store her stuff and take care of her cat. I have asked my husband to talk to her, but I'm sure he won't since he doesn't like confrontation and she's just now coming into our lives after not being allowed to see us for the past 14 years and he doesn't want to do anything to jeopardize that.

I am upset and hurt and don't know what to do.

overlook237 wrote: »

I get some of my best insights right when I wake up in the morning and my mind is clear. This morning, I woke up angry because I realized that there are a lot of people in my life that I allow to walk all over me. I'm angry with them and with myself for letting it happen. I want to confront them but since it'll come out of the blue, I know I'll look like a crazy person, so all I can do is sit here and be angry about it (and wait until they try to pull that crap again so I can confront them). I'm the worst at confrontation but I realize that I'm sick to death of being treated like this and upset that I've let it happen. I also realized that I've wasted so much time trying to be whatever I think people want me to be - and how it's never enough for them anyway - and that just makes me feel unbearably sad.

I'm 35 so I might be a bit ahead of schedule for a "mid-life crisis" but that's what this seems like. Or maybe it's just the by-product of actually feeling emotions and not numbing myself with food like I've always done in the past. Regardless, right now my emotions are all over the place, but I'm hoping that once I have a good cry, I'll feel more focused about who I am, where I want to be in my life, and how to get there.

Not a confession, really, but if I didn't get this out, I'd probably have an epic meltdown.

smashley_mashley wrote: »

Susieq_1994 wrote: »

FluffySandwich wrote: »

kellienw335 wrote: »

FluffySandwich wrote: »

Another rather lame confession: I haven't the slightest idea what to do with my hair. I haven't had short hair since I was a baby just starting to grow it. I wish I had the courage to chop it up or do something with it, but I'm just scared of making it look worse. It's extremely wavy (and in my opinion, not the good kind of wavy!!!) and hard to manage, so I just straighten it all the time to make it easier for me to deal with, at least. It also wants to always be parted in the middle. I went to see a hair stylist last year and she told me that my hair was "refusing to be parted down the side." Dumb hair.

My sister has experimented with all kinds of cuts and colors (well, all shades of red), and I wish I could be more like her. For some reason I'm just too scared.

Have you ever tried a diffuser on your hair and do you use gel?

I looked up diffusers- they go on the end of blowdryers? I always let my hair dry naturally, and never use gel either No gel, hairspray, or anything... though I probably should get something to protect my hair from the heat when I straighten it.

There are times I like my hair, like when I wake up and think I have ok looking waves for once. The bad thing is I can't brush my hair lest it turn into a frizzy mess. Someone on Facebook actually shared an image that shows what it's like for me. Before brushing and after brushing:



Before I started straightening my hair, I had a friend who would always ask me why I never brushed my hair. I WAS brushing my hair, but it was coming out looking like the picture on the right!!! (but worse)

Ugh. My hair is EXACTLY the same. Isn't it annoying?! I just don't brush it... Then if I do, I immediately braid it down my back. End of drama.

agreed - don't brush it. I am a fan of the Marc Anthony Stricly Curls products. I use hair cream and the spray on towel dried hair. If it is nice and warm out I will just let it air dry even w/o combing it from the shower. If it is yucky and cold out (i.e. winter), I will use the diffuser. I just don't have the time anymore to flat iron it everyday.

the only time I will brush it is right before bed and then it turns into a bit of an afro.

kelly_c_77 wrote: »

It is taking everything in me to hold myself together.. Next Friday will be the one year anniversary of my Mom's death. Somehow it still hasn't hit me as being real...like, I know she's gone, but something in me just will not accept it. I don't know how to move on. It doesn't help that 15 days after losing her, my 15 year old dog(my first "child") died. The past year has just been a giant roller coaster. I have never been an angry person and have never turned to food for comfort until all of this. I have thought so many times about going to speak to someone...but I just can't bring myself to do it.
I have been lurking this thread from day one..keeping up every day... and I am overwhelmed by all the support you show each other and the friendships that have formed. I feel like I've gotten to know you all through all of your confessions/comments/advice/jokes...and I can relate to so many of you. I guess I felt I could let it all out here.

Sigh...

kelly_c_77 wrote: »

It is taking everything in me to hold myself together.. Next Friday will be the one year anniversary of my Mom's death. Somehow it still hasn't hit me as being real...like, I know she's gone, but something in me just will not accept it. I don't know how to move on. It doesn't help that 15 days after losing her, my 15 year old dog(my first "child") died. The past year has just been a giant roller coaster. I have never been an angry person and have never turned to food for comfort until all of this. I have thought so many times about going to speak to someone...but I just can't bring myself to do it.
I have been lurking this thread from day one..keeping up every day... and I am overwhelmed by all the support you show each other and the friendships that have formed. I feel like I've gotten to know you all through all of your confessions/comments/advice/jokes...and I can relate to so many of you. I guess I felt I could let it all out here.

Sigh...

RuefulRabbit wrote: »

I skipped the first 637 pages...

Confession: I don't eat nearly the calories MFP says I should.

orangesmartie wrote: »

lilaclovebird wrote: »

Italian_Buju wrote: »

I have to add that I think it is NOT selfish at all to realize you do not want children. What is selfish is to have children you do not want, just because you are 'supposed' to, and then treat them as such.

The whole point of my last post was that I really wanted to be a mother, I do not think my life would be complete without it, but, it is not for everyone, and should not be taken lightly, nor should be taken on because of pressure.

This made me feel awesome. I don't want kids. I just don't. I donate to children's charities occassionally and I would risk my own life to protect someone else's kid without a second thought*. But having my own is just not something I want.

*I actually have a problem with going to the grocery store and if a parent walks away from the cart, I will stand next to it until they come back. I know it creeps some people out, but it only takes a SECOND for a kidnapping to happen and I worry about that stuff.

I've never wanted children. I've always known that, since I was very young. I never played with dollies. I am not maternal in the slightest. I am very lazy. i want to have lie ins, and stay on the sofa drinking coffee, or chuck my passport in my handbag and just go to the airport (i've done that a few times, and once when i took my dog on a ferry to Spain and then drove across it). But generally, I don't like children, don't want to be around them.

When my younger sister was pregnant, I was really excited to be an Auntie. I planned to do all the cool auntie things, buy loud toys and have trips to the zoo. I was there when my nephew was born and fell in love with him from the first moment.

Unfortunately, my sister is an oxygen thief and a total waste of space. Social Services were involved all the way along (due to her age) and when my nephew was 6 months old, they removed him from her care and put him in the care of my mum. My mum and I share now share legal custody of him (he's 2 now) and she rarely sees him.

When i was working in Devon, he lived half the week with my parents and half the week with me. Now i work in London in the week, I drive 200 miles home every Thursday night. I do swimming with him and his class at school on a Friday morning, and he stays with me from Friday to Sunday, when i drive back to London. He is exhausting and I am having to learn patience, which is not easy, particularly when small children don't come naturally. My office/gym room is now a small boy's bedroom, (i was heartbroken to sell my treadmill. i still miss it) all decorated for him and full of toys. We've always bought things in pairs so he has one at grandma's house and one at Auntie's.

Here's my confession:
I resent my sister hugely for dropping this burden on me, and my mum. We were in the process of getting ready to emigrate to Spain and now that dream is gone. I have to organise my whole life around supporting my parents and ensuring they get a break, 2 year olds are hard work. My parents already raised 6 of us. My partners and I have to organise our weekends, holidays and social lives to take account of school holidays and having Charlie. I miss the peace and quiet of my house. I miss the tidiness. I'm generally a solitary creature and loved the solitude of my house.

My mum was also recently diagnosed with skin cancer and will be undergoing a major operation this summer before radiotherapy. The care burden for my nephew, and her while she is bed bound, falls on my dad, who also works. That means i need to be home every weekend to try and lighten that load as much as i can.

to be clear: I do not resent my nephew in any way. I absolutely adore him, he is my world and my priority. He is the reason i work 200 miles from home (i can earn better money in London, and can afford to ensure he has everything he needs, and nice trips to the zoo etc. He does bring me such joy and happiness and he is the total light of my life.

But, i cannot help missing my Saturday morning boxing class, or my sunday morning lie in. I miss being able to book a holiday without a thought about money or child care. I resent that i spend 6 hours of my weekend, every weekend, driving. I feel overwhelmed by responsibilities all the time. My whole life has changed, through choices i didn't make. (Not strictly true, because i chose to to fight for custody of him, with my mum, and i promised my mum i would help her and support her). Charlie being fostered/adopted outside of the family was never an option in my mind). And mostly, i feel selfish for these thoughts and resentments.

everyone always said I would feel different about having kids, if they were my own. I don't think i would. And i was never prepared to risk having a child, just to find out. Thats not fair on the kid. But now I've got one (sort of) and i need to be a parent to him. All I can do is my best. And he will never ever know how i feel about his mother, or the loss of my freedom and independence.

TL;DR if you know you don't want children, good for you, stick to your guns and don't let the earth mothers try and tell you differently.


ETA: Charlie was my reason and motivation for starting my weightloss journey in the beginning. I wanted to be able to run around after him and keep up with him. I didn't want him to be ashamed of his fat auntie and have other kids tease him about me. I also do challenges as a way of teaching him that you have to work hard for things, that its the effort that you put in that counts.