Guys/Girls: What is your real opinion on..

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Replies

  • ermengarde22
    ermengarde22 Posts: 2,116 Member
    OpheliaCooter wrote: »
    Also why am I under a old account.. That explains why none of the threads were where I left off. 🤔

    should i FR this one too and then u keep both goin and u can do like sibyl kinda thing
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,669 Member
    Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: »
    Ladies and Gents...

    If she gives you the old "I don't get jealous" routine...

    There's a high probability that this is a trap wrapped in a dare.... Ain't it? 😬

    Please click below for the list of Disclaimers and Disclosures...
    This ain't about any of you guys "😂"

    It could be a "dare"
    When i was younger I did things like that

    Now i just dont care. Lol. People are attractive. Look. But if you disrespect I have no issue moving on.
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    edited September 2020
    Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: »
    Ladies and Gents...

    If she gives you the old "I don't get jealous" routine...

    There's a high probability that this is a trap wrapped in a dare.... Ain't it? 😬

    Please click below for the list of Disclaimers and Disclosures...
    This ain't about any of you guys "😂"

    Intimate relationships can become quite possessive, can't they?

    For sake of easier communication with acquaintances, I've used terms like "My partner" or "My crush" but my friends know I'll call a person I'm seeing by their first name (or whatever silly name I've concocted for them).

    The "my" is part of that possession thing. Your partner is not yours though, as a human cannot be owned and I don't think language that reinforces this illusion is particularly helpful or healthy.

    (Sidenote: while the traumatic history of slavery doesn't glom itself into the every waking thought of all Black people, my views on possessive attitudes in relationships do stem, in part, from this).

    Back on track: if a person isn't able to be possessed then there's also, by consequence, little room for jealousy if they are found attractive by another person or if they themselves find someone else attractive on some level.

    What matters is whether what we have at our level of intimacy is greater than that attraction (or temptation) with the other person.

    If it is, status quo.

    If it isn't, time to go.

    Also, you'll never find me fighting another person over a relationship or trying to plead the relationship's worthiness in comparison to some other relationship. Block your happiness and mine as well?! Are you serious? It couldn't be me. So, no, I don't get jealous.

    And if the proverbial "She" in your scenario says same, I'd take her word for it. Probing why is always a good idea though.

    (Final sidenote: This response reminded me of a captivating YouTube advert I saw this weekend for Dekkoo...which I've just learned is a content "streaming service for gay men". They have a 2019 Israeli movie called "15 Years" on their platform about a love triangle that seems devoid of jealousy. So since I have a day off work, imma make like the gay man YouTube has cookied me as and watch it. The cinematography and plot seemed really well done in the advert/trailer.)
  • ermengarde22
    ermengarde22 Posts: 2,116 Member
    edited September 2020
    Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: »
    Ladies and Gents...

    If she gives you the old "I don't get jealous" routine...

    There's a high probability that this is a trap wrapped in a dare.... Ain't it? 😬

    Please click below for the list of Disclaimers and Disclosures...
    This ain't about any of you guys "😂"

    or she just dont like u enough to get jealous

    eta: or maybe the girl has like super good self confidence and mental health like A+ where she elevated beyond jealousy idk
  • slessofme
    slessofme Posts: 7,744 Member
    MaltedTea wrote: »
    Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: »
    Ladies and Gents...

    If she gives you the old "I don't get jealous" routine...

    There's a high probability that this is a trap wrapped in a dare.... Ain't it? 😬

    Please click below for the list of Disclaimers and Disclosures...
    This ain't about any of you guys "😂"

    Intimate relationships can become quite possessive, can't they?

    For sake of easier communication with acquaintances, I've used terms like "My partner" or "My crush" but my friends know I'll call a person I'm seeing by their first name (or whatever silly name I've concocted for them).

    The "my" is part of that possession thing. Your partner is not yours though, as a human cannot be owned and I don't think language that reinforces this illusion is particularly helpful or healthy.

    (Sidenote: while the traumatic history of slavery doesn't glom itself into the every waking thought of all Black people, my views on possessive attitudes in relationships do stem, in part, from this).

    Back on track: if a person isn't able to be possessed then there's also, by consequence, little room for jealousy if they are found attractive by another person or if they themselves find someone else attractive on some level.

    What matters is whether what we have at our level of intimacy is greater than that attraction (or temptation) with the other person.

    If it is, status quo.

    If it isn't, time to go.

    Also, you'll never find me fighting another person over a relationship or trying to plead the relationship's worthiness in comparison to some other relationship. Block your happiness and mine as well?! Are you serious? It couldn't be me. So, no, I don't get jealous.

    And if the proverbial "She" in your scenario says same, I'd take her word for it. Probing why is always a good idea though.

    (Final sidenote: This response reminded me of a captivating YouTube advert I saw this weekend for Dekkoo...which I've just learned is a content "streaming service for gay men". They have a 2019 Israeli movie called "15 Years" on their platform about a love triangle that seems devoid of jealousy. So since I have a day off work, imma make like the gay man YouTube has cookied me as and watch it. The cinematography and plot seemed really well done in the advert/trailer.)

    I agree. I think jealousy is really an expression of insecurity in the relationship (not always an individual's insecurity). If I'm feeling jealous, that is a sign that I'm not really confident in the relationship and should either ponder if my perception of the depth of the relationship is off, have a conversation, or move on.
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    😂 - It wasn't a serious question you guys, I seriously didn't expect any serious answers 😂...

    That being said... You guys definitely got the neuro pathways firing in rather expansive, and interesting ways this morning 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Thanks for your insights, truly 💕...
  • CacoEther
    CacoEther Posts: 2,465 Member

    Guys/girls: what do you feel when someone of the opposite sex treats you like a buddy? Like he/she calls you “bro” or “dude” or something similar. Is it endearing or offputting? What does it make you feel?

    Guys/girls: what are you communicating to a member of the opposite sex when you treat them like a buddy? Like you call them “bro” or “dude” or something similar. What does it mean?
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    hrichts wrote: »
    Guys/girls: what do you feel when someone of the opposite sex treats you like a buddy? Like he/she calls you “bro” or “dude” or something similar. Is it endearing or offputting? What does it make you feel?

    Guys/girls: what are you communicating to a member of the opposite sex when you treat them like a buddy? Like you call them “bro” or “dude” or something similar. What does it mean?

    I really only care about action verbs.

    Everything beyond that is just banter.
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    hrichts wrote: »
    Guys/girls: what do you feel when someone of the opposite sex treats you like a buddy? Like he/she calls you “bro” or “dude” or something similar. Is it endearing or offputting? What does it make you feel?

    Guys/girls: what are you communicating to a member of the opposite sex when you treat them like a buddy? Like you call them “bro” or “dude” or something similar. What does it mean?

    Truthfully...

    It's just a new level of comfort... It's the way I normally talk irl... It usually comes out in voice notes but sometimes sooner...

    In voice notes I can't use things like cutie, beautiful, honey bunny, kitten cuddle gummy drops 🤷🏽‍♂️... Because that's just not how I talk to people irl 😂...

    In real life, if I'm comfortable with you... You're going to get Dude and Man... Especially if you're a chik, honestly because that's just how I talk... It's usually a side benefit tho that it leaves people all, "Why does he call me Dude" 🤔🤔🤔... 😂
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,371 Member
    hrichts wrote: »
    Guys/girls: what do you feel when someone of the opposite sex treats you like a buddy? Like he/she calls you “bro” or “dude” or something similar. Is it endearing or offputting? What does it make you feel?

    Guys/girls: what are you communicating to a member of the opposite sex when you treat them like a buddy? Like you call them “bro” or “dude” or something similar. What does it mean?

    I've had LOTS of purely platonic male buddies. "Bro" isn't really a nickname in my age bracket so I've never heard or used that one personally. I use "dude" kind of sarcastically for both male and female friends.

    Friendly nicknames in either direction, I think we're good friends. I have some really enduring same and opposite sex friendships of 20 to 30 year duration.
  • OpheliaCooter
    OpheliaCooter Posts: 1,635 Member
    hrichts wrote: »
    Guys/girls: what do you feel when someone of the opposite sex treats you like a buddy? Like he/she calls you “bro” or “dude” or something similar. Is it endearing or offputting? What does it make you feel?

    Guys/girls: what are you communicating to a member of the opposite sex when you treat them like a buddy? Like you call them “bro” or “dude” or something similar. What does it mean?

    I’m just really casual and call everyone bro and dude. If they call me that I wouldn’t bat a eye. 🤔 Although if there was an attraction I might think I'm in the friend zone and be kind of sad. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ But I friend punch the gf in the arm and affectionately call her less than appropriate names so my etiquette is severely lacking. 😁😔
  • CacoEther
    CacoEther Posts: 2,465 Member
    hrichts wrote: »
    Guys/girls: what do you feel when someone of the opposite sex treats you like a buddy? Like he/she calls you “bro” or “dude” or something similar. Is it endearing or offputting? What does it make you feel?

    Guys/girls: what are you communicating to a member of the opposite sex when you treat them like a buddy? Like you call them “bro” or “dude” or something similar. What does it mean?

    I find it endearing. I dont know, its just cute. Even if he is actively friend-zoning me 😏

    If i say it to someone else, i’m communicating exactly nothing. Sometimes you just gotta start a sentence with ‘dude!’ or end it with ‘my man’
  • OpheliaCooter
    OpheliaCooter Posts: 1,635 Member
    sweet_ermengarde wrote: »
    OpheliaCooter wrote: »
    Also why am I under a old account.. That explains why none of the threads were where I left off. 🤔

    should i FR this one too and then u keep both goin and u can do like sibyl kinda thing

    I've been too lazy to figure it out but I don't think that would matter because my diary page still says yoshiboobs and has that list of friends.
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: »
    hrichts wrote: »
    Guys/girls: what do you feel when someone of the opposite sex treats you like a buddy? Like he/she calls you “bro” or “dude” or something similar. Is it endearing or offputting? What does it make you feel?

    Guys/girls: what are you communicating to a member of the opposite sex when you treat them like a buddy? Like you call them “bro” or “dude” or something similar. What does it mean?

    Truthfully...

    It's just a new level of comfort... It's the way I normally talk irl... It usually comes out in voice notes but sometimes sooner...

    In voice notes I can't use things like cutie, beautiful, honey bunny, kitten cuddle gummy drops 🤷🏽‍♂️... Because that's just not how I talk to people irl 😂...

    In real life, if I'm comfortable with you... You're going to get Dude and Man... Especially if you're a chik, honestly because that's just how I talk... It's usually a side benefit tho that it leaves people all, "Why does he call me Dude" 🤔🤔🤔... 😂

    That being said 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    It can also be used as a form of dominance... 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Like if I dm and I'm all "Hey little Dude", or "Whats up little man"... 🤷🏽‍♂️😂
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,669 Member
    hrichts wrote: »
    hrichts wrote: »
    Guys/girls: what do you feel when someone of the opposite sex treats you like a buddy? Like he/she calls you “bro” or “dude” or something similar. Is it endearing or offputting? What does it make you feel?

    Guys/girls: what are you communicating to a member of the opposite sex when you treat them like a buddy? Like you call them “bro” or “dude” or something similar. What does it mean?

    I find it endearing. I dont know, its just cute. Even if he is actively friend-zoning me 😏

    If i say it to someone else, i’m communicating exactly nothing. Sometimes you just gotta start a sentence with ‘dude!’ or end it with ‘my man’

    I dont mind being bro'd or duded. I dont use those words, I say sir or actually say buddy. But usually they are given a nickname...easier to, over remembering names😀
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    iMago wrote: »
    ladies-

    why don't you just buy your own hoodie instead of stealing ours

    Felt the need to post in 2 threads b/c its a phenomenon

    "...
    Want you to give me something that'll keep me wanting more
    Want you to give me something that you cannot take back
    Want you to give me something covered in your sweat

    You left your t-shirt at my apartment
    I'm not giving it back, I'm not giving it back
    I'm not getting even, I was just getting started
    Like a kleptomaniac, I'm not giving it back
    ..."

    https://youtu.be/UcFQSqaAPXM
  • OpheliaCooter
    OpheliaCooter Posts: 1,635 Member
    sweet_ermengarde wrote: »
    guys/girls

    describe a guy/girl u think is physically perfect

    pics okay but beware mods 👀

    Women / proportionate and either hourglass(short)/pear(short)/tall and thin but toned. I always thought of Salma Hyek as having the perfect body.

    Men/ proportionate and on the muscular side but not too much and a nice butt. There's so many men who fall into this category so...🤔 just pick any good looking and fit celebrity.

    If we get down to faces and coloring there's just so many options and things I personally find attractive. It would be impossible.
  • vanityy99
    vanityy99 Posts: 2,583 Member
    sweet_ermengarde wrote: »
    guys/girls

    describe a guy/girl u think is physically perfect

    pics okay but beware mods 👀

    lxihcmgolb5y.jpeg
  • ermengarde22
    ermengarde22 Posts: 2,116 Member
    Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: »
    vanityy99 wrote: »
    sweet_ermengarde wrote: »
    guys/girls

    describe a guy/girl u think is physically perfect

    pics okay but beware mods 👀

    lxihcmgolb5y.jpeg

    ^ This chik is 🔥but < @sweet_ermengarde 💕

    well that is really nice thing to say, thanks
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    sweet_ermengarde wrote: »
    guys/girls

    describe a guy/girl u think is physically perfect

    pics okay but beware mods 👀



    Lately I've been watching Good Girls and have found myself mesmerized by Christina Hendricks. She's not the body type I usually admire.

    ...truth, I googled her stats the other day
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    Charlize Theron / Manny Montana.

    For both it's more about their mannerisms (Charlize in ANY perfume commercial and Manny saying anything in Goo Girls but mostly wanting me to change my name to "Elizabeth") as well as actual/acting charisma.

    Thanks for triggering me in a good way with the mention of Good Girls, @Vikka_V
  • slessofme
    slessofme Posts: 7,744 Member
    MaltedTea wrote: »
    Charlize Theron / Manny Montana.

    For both it's more about their mannerisms (Charlize in ANY perfume commercial and Manny saying anything in Goo Girls but mostly wanting me to change my name to "Elizabeth") as well as actual/acting charisma.

    Thanks for triggering me in a good way with the mention of Good Girls, @Vikka_V
    ty92yeq6b86e.gif


  • OpheliaCooter
    OpheliaCooter Posts: 1,635 Member
    slessofme wrote: »
    MaltedTea wrote: »
    Charlize Theron / Manny Montana.

    For both it's more about their mannerisms (Charlize in ANY perfume commercial and Manny saying anything in Goo Girls but mostly wanting me to change my name to "Elizabeth") as well as actual/acting charisma.

    Thanks for triggering me in a good way with the mention of Good Girls, @Vikka_V
    ty92yeq6b86e.gif


    OH, that's who that is? 👌

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