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Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

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Replies

  • Posts: 442 Member

    Those are great ideas, but I'm hoping to do something outside the kitchen with her. One of the reasons I take my son grocery shopping is to demonstrate that the gender roles society has placed on us are artificial and that we can break them with our actions. I'm hoping to do something similar with my daughter.

    My Dad regularly took me to the hardware store with him and I love them to this day. Teach her how to use tools and do repairs if you are a handy guy....lifelong skills and often not passed on
    to daughters.
  • Posts: 2 Member
    I buy delicious, unhealthy food for my boyfriend to eat so I can have 'just a bite'. He's putting on weight. Today I bought him a dark chocolate mousse because I thought it looked delicious. It's still in the fridge but I'm about to take it through to him.

    I'm an *kitten*.
  • Posts: 1,121 Member
    edited February 2015

    I get judged for being 35, married and childless. People seem to feel the need to query me on why we aren't procreating and then scoff at me because I say we don't want to. "You'll change your mind!" or, when I say I don't really like kids (I mean I don't dislike them, but I'm not someone to coo over a baby) they say "It will be different when they're your own!" - really? You want me to have them in the hopes that I'll like them once they're here?

    As for Shiba - I was 30, single and BLISSFULLY happy being single. Like, no plans for any relationship, perfectly content in my singledom, free as a bird, independent... then this dude came along and screwed it all up for me :D I was NOT looking for a relationship, it came and found me.

    We've been together since we were 23 & 24, we're 45 & 46 now. Didn't want kids early, and as time went on, every time we had a discussion about it, we didn't want to have one. Our 30s came & went and we just went "Mmmm....no thanks."

    Guess what? We still don't regret it. We're just selfish, I guess. Putting money in the bank, buying what we want & going on vacations at the drop of a hat just appealed to us more.

    Kinda feel bad for not giving our parents grandchildren...but that's no reason at all to have them. We're still deeply in love & still just have fun together! We have furry 4-legged kids and they are just fine, thank you.

    If you don't want to have kids...don't have kids! And we get judged for it too. Is it jealousy? Is it "You're not doing what you're supposed to be doing?"

    Don't know & don't care!

  • Posts: 551 Member
    edited February 2015
    xMrBunglex wrote: »
    Guess what? We still don't regret it. We're just selfish, I guess. Putting money in the bank, buying what we want & going on vacations at the drop of a hat just appealed to us more.

    This is how I feel. I'm 24 and have never been interested in wanting kids. A friend of mine who's a few months older than me just got married in November and she's pregnant and due in August. Not jealous at all. Other friends have also had babies recently and I say, "better them than me." Kids are a huge responsibility that I do not want to take on. I'm already an aunt to four kids (sister - 1, brother - 3) and I still have four other siblings who don't have any as of yet. I'd rather be the fun aunt.
  • Posts: 679 Member
    Lefty1290 wrote: »

    This is how I feel. I'm 24 and have never been interested in wanting kids. A friend of mine who's a few months older than me just got married in November and she's pregnant and due in August. Not jealous at all. Other friends have also had babies recently and I say, "better them than me." Kids are a huge responsibility that I do not want to take on. I'm already an aunt to four kids (sister - 1, brother - 3) and I still have four other siblings who don't have any as of yet. I'd rather be the fun aunt.

    I never wanted kids. Being young and stupid...two kids later. They are grown adults now. I LOVE them with all my heart. Glad I had them. Grandkids that I adore. But, given the chance to do it again...I still wouldn't want kids. I didn't think I would be a good mom and even now I don't think I was.

    Moral of the story, you have to do what's right for you. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Live YOUR life YOUR way.
  • Posts: 4,195 Member
    ShibaEars wrote: »
    My confession for today is that I stress myself out over how other people judge me for being 30, single & childless. Most of it is probably just in my own imagination, but I feel like it's not "acceptable" for me to be 30 and single (with no prospects either). But at the same time for the most part I'm okay with being single and THAT stresses me out because I feel like maybe I should be more actively trying to change that since I am 30 and let's face it, the window to have kids (should I even want them) is getting smaller all the time.

    Sooo I stress myself out over how I feel and what society thinks I should be doing because I care what people think about me when I know I shouldn't. *sigh*

    (is this too much for a Friday morning? lol)

    Well, I'm (almost) 40, single and childless.

    My last two meaningful relationships have ended because I cannot have children. I lost my uterus to a tumor several years ago. The love of my life (who I almost married 20 years ago) was considering moving here (he is in another country) to get back together, but he decided that he still wants to try to have children. He is almost 50, so I'm not sure who he thinks he is kidding. I guess hope is important to people, even when it is ridiculous hope.

    I don't care all that much about the "society" aspect of things, but it would be really nice to find someone who can love me in spite of this thing which is absolutely not my fault. I really haven't even figured out how to bring the issue up with new people.

    On a more positive note, my hickeys have completely healed. At least I get to have lots of fun/casual sex. :)

  • Posts: 4,195 Member
    edited February 2015
    Virkati wrote: »
    Moral of the story, you have to do what's right for you. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Live YOUR life YOUR way.

    YES!
  • Posts: 109


    Yeah, at 25 I had a newborn, a 22mo, a not quite 3yo (12m and 2 weeks apart, the middle 2) and my oldest who'd turned 5 the month before. My other favorite thing was people asking if we were Catholic, or Mormon. I'd just smile and tell them, "No, but we sure like practicing!" That generally embarassed them enough to shut up. They are now 14, 12, 11 and 9 and life is total chaos most of the time, lol.

    LOL, well, I am Catholic, the one place nobody bats an eye at the herd of kids is Mass. Then again, my husband and I have a combined herd of 7 children. He has 3 from his first marriage. So the ages go 16, 13, 11, 11, 8, 6, and 4. The 11 year olds are a month apart.
  • I was supposed to have given up tea and chocolate for lent... But I found myself alone in a shop called the Chocolate Factory today where they just sell massive bags of real cheap but tasty chocolatey treats... I came out with a bag of chocolate lemon bars, some crunchy fudge bars, some walnut whips and a massive bag of choco buttons...

    I started scoffing them on the drive home... And had to lob the bag into my car boot (which I never use) to stop myself from completely self-destructing. I have kept silent to my friends... I am so ashamed that I couldn't even last 4 days!
  • Posts: 38 Member
    I'm 30 and I don't want kids. I come from a long line of women that didn't want kids, they had them because it was expected. My mom thought she wanted kids until she had one. She was a good mother - always provided, I had everything I needed, went to a good college, etc., but she was distant. She didn't really know what to do with me, so she lived her own life and I was fairly far down on her priorities list. She was lucky I was a good kid, it could have very easily gone the other way.

    Having grown up the way I did, I won't do that to a kid. I don't have any burning desire to have a kid, I don't know what to do with them, and if I'm like all the rest of the women in my family, I don't want the kid to grow up knowing they're not wanted. The only way I'd ever even consider having kids is if I was married to a guy that I knew would be involved in every aspect of raising the kid and could help fill in the gaps in the areas I lack. I have a dog I love and spoil and think of as a toddler I can leave home by himself, and I'm perfectly happy with him being the closest thing I ever have to children.
  • Posts: 1,945 Member
    xMrBunglex wrote: »

    We've been together since we were 23 & 24, we're 45 & 46 now. Didn't want kids early, and as time went on, every time we had a discussion about it, we didn't want to have one. Our 30s came & went and we just went "Mmmm....no thanks."

    Guess what? We still don't regret it. We're just selfish, I guess. Putting money in the bank, buying what we want & going on vacations at the drop of a hat just appealed to us more.

    Kinda feel bad for not giving our parents grandchildren...but that's no reason at all to have them. We're still deeply in love & still just have fun together! We have furry 4-legged kids and they are just fine, thank you.

    If you don't want to have kids...don't have kids! And we get judged for it too. Is it jealousy? Is it "You're not doing what you're supposed to be doing?"

    Don't know & don't care!

    I find this very inspiring. I have one child, a gorgeous boy, it was very stressful for me being a parent, most of the time on my own. My partner wasn't ready and we drifted apart as I became more stressed and he became more immature and unhappy with his nagging partner.

    Anyway, moving on, I want to find a relationship with someone where we can just concentrate on each other, with someone that doesn't really want them, as even if I could have more kids I wouldnt. But I have the luxury of already having one so I can say that.

    Being grown up isn't easy!

  • Posts: 1,945 Member
    edited February 2015

    Well, I'm (almost) 40, single and childless.

    My last two meaningful relationships have ended because I cannot have children. I lost my uterus to a tumor several years ago. The love of my life (who I almost married 20 years ago) was considering moving here (he is in another country) to get back together, but he decided that he still wants to try to have children. He is almost 50, so I'm not sure who he thinks he is kidding. I guess hope is important to people, even when it is ridiculous hope.

    I don't care all that much about the "society" aspect of things, but it would be really nice to find someone who can love me in spite of this thing which is absolutely not my fault. I really haven't even figured out how to bring the issue up with new people.

    On a more positive note, my hickeys have completely healed. At least I get to have lots of fun/casual sex. :)

    The are plenty of guys out there that dream of having a childless relationship! I'm sure you'll find the right one!

    Isn't it great being older and single? I'm having MUCH more fun than when I was last single 20 years ago......

    Confession time....I've lost count :-) and frankly I don't give a damn!
  • Posts: 1,505 Member
    I had pound cake for dinner. No shame!
  • Posts: 72 Member
    My mom made a comment about my friends weight tonight. And I purposely let my dog eat her slippers. No regrets.
  • bahaha wonderful dog
  • Posts: 399 Member
    altogirl2 wrote: »

    You can keep your food diary private. I do for just the reason that you stated. I'll control my own intake and other peeps can control theirs.

    Personally, I would rather let someone see me in the altogether than see my food diary. I value my privacy.
  • Posts: 566 Member
    No kids here. I want to travel. I want to write. I want to have fun.

    Kids would either kill, or greatly delay that.

    Some people say that's selfish. I figure it's selfish to add more people to an overpopulated planet just because I think I'm supposed to.

    People also ask "who's going to take care of you when you're old?"

    Well if that's the reason you had kids you are doing it very wrong.
  • Kelll12123 wrote: »
    I ate over half a carton of ice cream in one sitting last week

    Guilty as well
  • Posts: 62 Member
    edited February 2015
    I ate 2618 calories yesterday (I'm in maintenance and my goal is 2000/day).

    I was eating normally for the whole day, then I went after work to see a play my friend had written. Beforehand I stopped at Starbucks and got a quick dinner of a panini and an iced chai tea latte.

    Then we got to the play early and my fiance wanted to go to Dunkin Donuts since he hadn't had dinner yet and it was one of two food options nearby. I decided to try the Cookie Dough donut because I estimated I had enough calories left for the day (which I didn't BTW, it turned out to be more calories than I thought).

    Then after the play they had a wine and cheese reception so I had a glass of wine. Then our friends invited us to go out with them so I had a mojito, part of a chicken quesadilla, and I stole a few of my fiance's fries. When I woke up this morning I wasn't even hungry.

    This is more calories than I ate on Christmas!! So that just shows you how easy it is to slip up in a huge way (especially if you go out and get drunk). But I hope it doesn't happen again.
  • Posts: 669 Member
    edited February 2015
    I've noticed from being a member of one of those BSC pregnancy message boards in the past that the people who pressure everyone to have kids and have really strong opinions about that are often the people who make their kids their whole identity and are super judgmental of anyone who does anything differently than they do - whether that is bottle/breast feeding, diapering, preschool, you name it. It's like they need to justify their own choices by making sure that everyone agrees with them. That is B.S. Having kids is hard. People who don't want to do it, shouldn't. The end.
  • Posts: 433 Member
    I get annoyed when people ask for help in forums and have locked diaries. Not that I'd be much help but someone else might. Although, not as in help with recipes or exercise or something because then who cares, but more like whining, "I can't lose weight" type of thing.
  • Posts: 68 Member
    Most days 1500~1800 calories even though my TDEE is 3400. Today 4018 calories and only 2 beers (most of that is pizza hut). Been really depressed today and I guess I've been stress eating.
  • Posts: 87 Member
    mrsmiley32 wrote: »
    Most days 1500~1800 calories even though my TDEE is 3400. Today 4018 calories and only 2 beers (most of that is pizza hut). Been really depressed today and I guess I've been stress eating.

    Totally understand. You accepted it and logged it. Now wake up later on, drink some water and start fresh! :smile:
  • Posts: 28 Member
    I was craving something sweet the other night but had absolutely nothing in the house that would satisfy me except some hot chocolate. So I ate two spoonfuls of the powder. Two spoonfuls. Of the powder.

    Made me giggle. I've nibbled a jelly cube before now for the same reason
  • Posts: 150 Member
    I'm just now logging the crap I ate last night after two glasses of wine.
    I was thought I was doing so well but in fact I was 380 over the day's goal. Ouch!
  • Posts: 846 Member
    edited February 2015
    No kids here. I want to travel. I want to write. I want to have fun.

    Kids would either kill, or greatly delay that.

    Some people say that's selfish. I figure it's selfish to add more people to an overpopulated planet just because I think I'm supposed to.

    People also ask "who's going to take care of you when you're old?"

    Well if that's the reason you had kids you are doing it very wrong.

    %100 agree. I have one, he's 18, and he's in college. I'm free, and I don't know if I could date a man with small children now. And I certainly don't want mine taking care of me when I'm old. That's what good health is for. I want to live a long healthy life and drop instantly dead while out hiking 20 miles at a ridiculously old age.

    Confession: It made me a little sad that I pictured myself doing my ancient last hike all alone, though. Solitude is something you get used to, I guess. It even creeps into your imagination.
  • Posts: 5,361 Member
    I confess that it's making me sad that this confession thread is becoming a children vs no children conversation. Where are all those people who ate all the peanut butter or ate 5000 calories while hiding under the bed or....? :(
  • Posts: 78 Member
    Confession: unless the username or picture clearly indicates the user is a man, I assume every one on MFP is a female. Not sure why this is... I am female so maybe I assume everyone else is too?
  • Posts: 2,424 Member
    I confess that it's making me sad that this confession thread is becoming a children vs no children conversation. Where are all those people who ate all the peanut butter or ate 5000 calories while hiding under the bed or....? :(

    Agreed. I had chocolate mousse for dinner last night. Next...
  • Posts: 1,071 Member
    edited February 2015

    I have 2 half sisters and a half brother all older than me by 10-15 years. all knew I existed, and have rebuffed all attempts at a relationship. I hear glimpses into their lives from time to time. I became a great aunt 2 years ago.

    Funny thing is one of my nieces and my daughter look so much alike people have stopped my daughter and called her by her cousin's name. She just looks confused. I decided because of the failed status, my kids no nothing about my half siblings or their kids. It just seemed easier that way.

    I feel your pain. It stings. Greatly.

    I've never seen my new niece (well I think it's a girl), We used to visit my half brothers and their mum when I was younger but haven't seen them for years. One would come round to drop of the christmas presents but never stay. My dads side of the family are't very close, it's just a communication thing with them.

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