Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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tincanonastring wrote: »tincanonastring wrote: »tincanonastring wrote: »Every Sunday, I take my son to do the grocery shopping. At one of the stores, we get a bottle of Mexican Coke and a Tastycake pie (his choice: Cherry, Apple, or French Apple) and sit on the tailgate to share them. Coke-and-Pie Day almost never gets logged.
That's the cutest thing ever.
Agreed! And because you're creating a memory with your son that he will remember forever it doesn't count as calories!
The memories will end up being more delicious than the pie, methinks. Now I just have to think of something similar to do with his sister!
My dad and I bake cakes together. Just throwing it out there. You could also make fudge with her, my grandpa and I do that. My grandma and I always had tea parties when I was a kid. Good times.
Those are great ideas, but I'm hoping to do something outside the kitchen with her. One of the reasons I take my son grocery shopping is to demonstrate that the gender roles society has placed on us are artificial and that we can break them with our actions. I'm hoping to do something similar with my daughter.
My Dad regularly took me to the hardware store with him and I love them to this day. Teach her how to use tools and do repairs if you are a handy guy....lifelong skills and often not passed on
to daughters.0 -
I buy delicious, unhealthy food for my boyfriend to eat so I can have 'just a bite'. He's putting on weight. Today I bought him a dark chocolate mousse because I thought it looked delicious. It's still in the fridge but I'm about to take it through to him.
I'm an *kitten*.0 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »My confession for today is that I stress myself out over how other people judge me for being 30, single & childless. Most of it is probably just in my own imagination, but I feel like it's not "acceptable" for me to be 30 and single (with no prospects either). But at the same time for the most part I'm okay with being single and THAT stresses me out because I feel like maybe I should be more actively trying to change that since I am 30 and let's face it, the window to have kids (should I even want them) is getting smaller all the time.
Sooo I stress myself out over how I feel and what society thinks I should be doing because I care what people think about me when I know I shouldn't. *sigh*
(is this too much for a Friday morning? lol)
Awww, don't get down on yourself. I have plenty of girlfriends in the 30-35 bracket that are also single and childless with no prospects at the moment. It's pretty common these days. I'm in a serious relationship and have had a previous marriage, but I'm 34 and no children. I understand what you mean about the pressure and sense of being judged sometimes. I still think though that being single and/or child-free is preferable to rushing something that's not right for you at the moment.
I get judged for being 35, married and childless. People seem to feel the need to query me on why we aren't procreating and then scoff at me because I say we don't want to. "You'll change your mind!" or, when I say I don't really like kids (I mean I don't dislike them, but I'm not someone to coo over a baby) they say "It will be different when they're your own!" - really? You want me to have them in the hopes that I'll like them once they're here?
As for Shiba - I was 30, single and BLISSFULLY happy being single. Like, no plans for any relationship, perfectly content in my singledom, free as a bird, independent... then this dude came along and screwed it all up for me
I was NOT looking for a relationship, it came and found me.
We've been together since we were 23 & 24, we're 45 & 46 now. Didn't want kids early, and as time went on, every time we had a discussion about it, we didn't want to have one. Our 30s came & went and we just went "Mmmm....no thanks."
Guess what? We still don't regret it. We're just selfish, I guess. Putting money in the bank, buying what we want & going on vacations at the drop of a hat just appealed to us more.
Kinda feel bad for not giving our parents grandchildren...but that's no reason at all to have them. We're still deeply in love & still just have fun together! We have furry 4-legged kids and they are just fine, thank you.
If you don't want to have kids...don't have kids! And we get judged for it too. Is it jealousy? Is it "You're not doing what you're supposed to be doing?"
Don't know & don't care!
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xMrBunglex wrote: »Guess what? We still don't regret it. We're just selfish, I guess. Putting money in the bank, buying what we want & going on vacations at the drop of a hat just appealed to us more.
This is how I feel. I'm 24 and have never been interested in wanting kids. A friend of mine who's a few months older than me just got married in November and she's pregnant and due in August. Not jealous at all. Other friends have also had babies recently and I say, "better them than me." Kids are a huge responsibility that I do not want to take on. I'm already an aunt to four kids (sister - 1, brother - 3) and I still have four other siblings who don't have any as of yet. I'd rather be the fun aunt.
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xMrBunglex wrote: »Guess what? We still don't regret it. We're just selfish, I guess. Putting money in the bank, buying what we want & going on vacations at the drop of a hat just appealed to us more.
This is how I feel. I'm 24 and have never been interested in wanting kids. A friend of mine who's a few months older than me just got married in November and she's pregnant and due in August. Not jealous at all. Other friends have also had babies recently and I say, "better them than me." Kids are a huge responsibility that I do not want to take on. I'm already an aunt to four kids (sister - 1, brother - 3) and I still have four other siblings who don't have any as of yet. I'd rather be the fun aunt.
I never wanted kids. Being young and stupid...two kids later. They are grown adults now. I LOVE them with all my heart. Glad I had them. Grandkids that I adore. But, given the chance to do it again...I still wouldn't want kids. I didn't think I would be a good mom and even now I don't think I was.
Moral of the story, you have to do what's right for you. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Live YOUR life YOUR way.0 -
My confession for today is that I stress myself out over how other people judge me for being 30, single & childless. Most of it is probably just in my own imagination, but I feel like it's not "acceptable" for me to be 30 and single (with no prospects either). But at the same time for the most part I'm okay with being single and THAT stresses me out because I feel like maybe I should be more actively trying to change that since I am 30 and let's face it, the window to have kids (should I even want them) is getting smaller all the time.
Sooo I stress myself out over how I feel and what society thinks I should be doing because I care what people think about me when I know I shouldn't. *sigh*
(is this too much for a Friday morning? lol)
Well, I'm (almost) 40, single and childless.
My last two meaningful relationships have ended because I cannot have children. I lost my uterus to a tumor several years ago. The love of my life (who I almost married 20 years ago) was considering moving here (he is in another country) to get back together, but he decided that he still wants to try to have children. He is almost 50, so I'm not sure who he thinks he is kidding. I guess hope is important to people, even when it is ridiculous hope.
I don't care all that much about the "society" aspect of things, but it would be really nice to find someone who can love me in spite of this thing which is absolutely not my fault. I really haven't even figured out how to bring the issue up with new people.
On a more positive note, my hickeys have completely healed. At least I get to have lots of fun/casual sex.
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nicsflyingcircus wrote: »
I was 26, trailing 4 little skirt ticks behind me everywhere I went...now I'm 30 and still have one toddler...ah yes, the looks, and the "don't you have cable tv" comments? Yep, but TV isn't as fun! At 26 I had a newborn, a 2 year old, a 4 year old, and a 7 year old. I lost my sanity in there somewhere, I am sure of it.nicsflyingcircus wrote: »My confession for today is that I stress myself out over how other people judge me for being 30, single & childless. Most of it is probably just in my own imagination, but I feel like it's not "acceptable" for me to be 30 and single (with no prospects either). But at the same time for the most part I'm okay with being single and THAT stresses me out because I feel like maybe I should be more actively trying to change that since I am 30 and let's face it, the window to have kids (should I even want them) is getting smaller all the time.
Sooo I stress myself out over how I feel and what society thinks I should be doing because I care what people think about me when I know I shouldn't. *sigh*
(is this too much for a Friday morning? lol)
Probably less judgement that I used to get for being 25 with 4 kids ages 5 and under trailing me. I literally had someone ask me if they had the same dad. Honestly, with that many small kids, there would be no facking way in hell I could have found time to have sex with people who did not already live in my house and share my bed!
We're trying for #5.
Yeah, at 25 I had a newborn, a 22mo, a not quite 3yo (12m and 2 weeks apart, the middle 2) and my oldest who'd turned 5 the month before. My other favorite thing was people asking if we were Catholic, or Mormon. I'd just smile and tell them, "No, but we sure like practicing!" That generally embarassed them enough to shut up. They are now 14, 12, 11 and 9 and life is total chaos most of the time, lol.
LOL, well, I am Catholic, the one place nobody bats an eye at the herd of kids is Mass. Then again, my husband and I have a combined herd of 7 children. He has 3 from his first marriage. So the ages go 16, 13, 11, 11, 8, 6, and 4. The 11 year olds are a month apart.0 -
I was supposed to have given up tea and chocolate for lent... But I found myself alone in a shop called the Chocolate Factory today where they just sell massive bags of real cheap but tasty chocolatey treats... I came out with a bag of chocolate lemon bars, some crunchy fudge bars, some walnut whips and a massive bag of choco buttons...
I started scoffing them on the drive home... And had to lob the bag into my car boot (which I never use) to stop myself from completely self-destructing. I have kept silent to my friends... I am so ashamed that I couldn't even last 4 days!0 -
I'm 30 and I don't want kids. I come from a long line of women that didn't want kids, they had them because it was expected. My mom thought she wanted kids until she had one. She was a good mother - always provided, I had everything I needed, went to a good college, etc., but she was distant. She didn't really know what to do with me, so she lived her own life and I was fairly far down on her priorities list. She was lucky I was a good kid, it could have very easily gone the other way.
Having grown up the way I did, I won't do that to a kid. I don't have any burning desire to have a kid, I don't know what to do with them, and if I'm like all the rest of the women in my family, I don't want the kid to grow up knowing they're not wanted. The only way I'd ever even consider having kids is if I was married to a guy that I knew would be involved in every aspect of raising the kid and could help fill in the gaps in the areas I lack. I have a dog I love and spoil and think of as a toddler I can leave home by himself, and I'm perfectly happy with him being the closest thing I ever have to children.0 -
xMrBunglex wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »My confession for today is that I stress myself out over how other people judge me for being 30, single & childless. Most of it is probably just in my own imagination, but I feel like it's not "acceptable" for me to be 30 and single (with no prospects either). But at the same time for the most part I'm okay with being single and THAT stresses me out because I feel like maybe I should be more actively trying to change that since I am 30 and let's face it, the window to have kids (should I even want them) is getting smaller all the time.
Sooo I stress myself out over how I feel and what society thinks I should be doing because I care what people think about me when I know I shouldn't. *sigh*
(is this too much for a Friday morning? lol)
Awww, don't get down on yourself. I have plenty of girlfriends in the 30-35 bracket that are also single and childless with no prospects at the moment. It's pretty common these days. I'm in a serious relationship and have had a previous marriage, but I'm 34 and no children. I understand what you mean about the pressure and sense of being judged sometimes. I still think though that being single and/or child-free is preferable to rushing something that's not right for you at the moment.
I get judged for being 35, married and childless. People seem to feel the need to query me on why we aren't procreating and then scoff at me because I say we don't want to. "You'll change your mind!" or, when I say I don't really like kids (I mean I don't dislike them, but I'm not someone to coo over a baby) they say "It will be different when they're your own!" - really? You want me to have them in the hopes that I'll like them once they're here?
As for Shiba - I was 30, single and BLISSFULLY happy being single. Like, no plans for any relationship, perfectly content in my singledom, free as a bird, independent... then this dude came along and screwed it all up for me I was NOT looking for a relationship, it came and found me.
We've been together since we were 23 & 24, we're 45 & 46 now. Didn't want kids early, and as time went on, every time we had a discussion about it, we didn't want to have one. Our 30s came & went and we just went "Mmmm....no thanks."
Guess what? We still don't regret it. We're just selfish, I guess. Putting money in the bank, buying what we want & going on vacations at the drop of a hat just appealed to us more.
Kinda feel bad for not giving our parents grandchildren...but that's no reason at all to have them. We're still deeply in love & still just have fun together! We have furry 4-legged kids and they are just fine, thank you.
If you don't want to have kids...don't have kids! And we get judged for it too. Is it jealousy? Is it "You're not doing what you're supposed to be doing?"
Don't know & don't care!
I find this very inspiring. I have one child, a gorgeous boy, it was very stressful for me being a parent, most of the time on my own. My partner wasn't ready and we drifted apart as I became more stressed and he became more immature and unhappy with his nagging partner.
Anyway, moving on, I want to find a relationship with someone where we can just concentrate on each other, with someone that doesn't really want them, as even if I could have more kids I wouldnt. But I have the luxury of already having one so I can say that.
Being grown up isn't easy!
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azulvioleta6 wrote: »My confession for today is that I stress myself out over how other people judge me for being 30, single & childless. Most of it is probably just in my own imagination, but I feel like it's not "acceptable" for me to be 30 and single (with no prospects either). But at the same time for the most part I'm okay with being single and THAT stresses me out because I feel like maybe I should be more actively trying to change that since I am 30 and let's face it, the window to have kids (should I even want them) is getting smaller all the time.
Sooo I stress myself out over how I feel and what society thinks I should be doing because I care what people think about me when I know I shouldn't. *sigh*
(is this too much for a Friday morning? lol)
Well, I'm (almost) 40, single and childless.
My last two meaningful relationships have ended because I cannot have children. I lost my uterus to a tumor several years ago. The love of my life (who I almost married 20 years ago) was considering moving here (he is in another country) to get back together, but he decided that he still wants to try to have children. He is almost 50, so I'm not sure who he thinks he is kidding. I guess hope is important to people, even when it is ridiculous hope.
I don't care all that much about the "society" aspect of things, but it would be really nice to find someone who can love me in spite of this thing which is absolutely not my fault. I really haven't even figured out how to bring the issue up with new people.
On a more positive note, my hickeys have completely healed. At least I get to have lots of fun/casual sex.
The are plenty of guys out there that dream of having a childless relationship! I'm sure you'll find the right one!
Isn't it great being older and single? I'm having MUCH more fun than when I was last single 20 years ago......
Confession time....I've lost count :-) and frankly I don't give a damn!0 -
I had pound cake for dinner. No shame!0
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My mom made a comment about my friends weight tonight. And I purposely let my dog eat her slippers. No regrets.0
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bahaha wonderful dog0
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berlynnwall wrote: »Im sure the majority of people on here are nice, supportive people like you guys. Still a bit nervous that I'll meet one of those though haha.
Notice: If you have a thing for meticulously controlling other people's calorie intake as well as your own, do not add me.
You can keep your food diary private. I do for just the reason that you stated. I'll control my own intake and other peeps can control theirs.
Personally, I would rather let someone see me in the altogether than see my food diary. I value my privacy.0 -
No kids here. I want to travel. I want to write. I want to have fun.
Kids would either kill, or greatly delay that.
Some people say that's selfish. I figure it's selfish to add more people to an overpopulated planet just because I think I'm supposed to.
People also ask "who's going to take care of you when you're old?"
Well if that's the reason you had kids you are doing it very wrong.0 -
Kelll12123 wrote: »I ate over half a carton of ice cream in one sitting last week
Guilty as well0 -
I ate 2618 calories yesterday (I'm in maintenance and my goal is 2000/day).
I was eating normally for the whole day, then I went after work to see a play my friend had written. Beforehand I stopped at Starbucks and got a quick dinner of a panini and an iced chai tea latte.
Then we got to the play early and my fiance wanted to go to Dunkin Donuts since he hadn't had dinner yet and it was one of two food options nearby. I decided to try the Cookie Dough donut because I estimated I had enough calories left for the day (which I didn't BTW, it turned out to be more calories than I thought).
Then after the play they had a wine and cheese reception so I had a glass of wine. Then our friends invited us to go out with them so I had a mojito, part of a chicken quesadilla, and I stole a few of my fiance's fries. When I woke up this morning I wasn't even hungry.
This is more calories than I ate on Christmas!! So that just shows you how easy it is to slip up in a huge way (especially if you go out and get drunk). But I hope it doesn't happen again.0 -
I've noticed from being a member of one of those BSC pregnancy message boards in the past that the people who pressure everyone to have kids and have really strong opinions about that are often the people who make their kids their whole identity and are super judgmental of anyone who does anything differently than they do - whether that is bottle/breast feeding, diapering, preschool, you name it. It's like they need to justify their own choices by making sure that everyone agrees with them. That is B.S. Having kids is hard. People who don't want to do it, shouldn't. The end.0
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