Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

pofoster21 wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

Okay, people, I need your help!

I want to get a flat(er) belly for my vacation in a little over 2 weeks. I SERIOUSLY contemplated doing a wrap, but then I remembered, I don't enjoy throwing my money away. Anywho, I am pretty much willing to do anything as long as it's healthy. Can you lovely people suggest things that I can do to get the results I want?

You mention later staying off soda. Avoid all carbonation. I don't drink anything carbonated when I need a flat stomach! It definitely causes bloating.

FroggyBug wrote: »

Ok, so what would you all think about your husband/boyfriend/SO sexting coworkers.

I'm stuggling with my feelings right now.

BZAH10 wrote: »

FroggyBug wrote: »

quiksylver296 wrote: »

FroggyBug wrote: »

Ok, so what would you all think about your husband/boyfriend/SO sexting coworkers.

I'm stuggling with my feelings right now.

All of the NOPE! Not okay! It's cheating...

Thanks for the replies guys. This is why my heart is broken and I've been so (BEYOND) depressed lately. I haven't talked to him since last Sunday. I have cried every day.

I did the bad thing and checked on his phone because he's been so secretive (I was able to guess the password). I saw a lot of things that I never wanted to see.

I love him so I'm struggling with my feelings right now. I know most people can't change but maybe therapy? I don't know. I am in that strange place where I don't want to be without him but I don't want to be with him if he can't change.

Sorry to complain. I feel like it's cheating too since it's a violation of trust and he is being inappropriate. We are going to meet up Friday to talk. This is the guy I've been with for almost 11 years.

Do not apologize! I remember a while back you said you were really struggling with something. I was wondering what it was and I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Eleven years is a long time. Do not rush to make any decisions.

Also, don't feel badly for checking his phone in this case. You know him. You trusted your gut. You needed to know. I don't blame you at all. It's incredibly painful, but it's best you found out with immediate proof rather than suspecting, not knowing, him not telling you, etc. That would be life in limbo and that's not any better.

Please keep venting here. I'm glad one poster offered her point of view after going through it and making it work. I'm not advocating either way at this point other than slow down, process everything, get the facts and do not let him pressure you into making any kind of a choice right now.

oriel67 wrote: »

I am afraid that when I lose my weight, I will feel ugly and hate the extra skin so much, that I will gain the weight back

52cardpickup wrote: »

FroggyBug wrote: »

quiksylver296 wrote: »

FroggyBug wrote: »

Ok, so what would you all think about your husband/boyfriend/SO sexting coworkers.

I'm stuggling with my feelings right now.

All of the NOPE! Not okay! It's cheating...

Thanks for the replies guys. This is why my heart is broken and I've been so (BEYOND) depressed lately. I haven't talked to him since last Sunday. I have cried every day.

I did the bad thing and checked on his phone because he's been so secretive (I was able to guess the password). I saw a lot of things that I never wanted to see.

I love him so I'm struggling with my feelings right now. I know most people can't change but maybe therapy? I don't know. I am in that strange place where I don't want to be without him but I don't want to be with him if he can't change.

Sorry to complain. I feel like it's cheating too since it's a violation of trust and he is being inappropriate. We are going to meet up Friday to talk. This is the guy I've been with for almost 11 years.

Don't apologize! Many, many people have been there, and it's a terrible place to be. I'm so sorry this happened, and I agree with what spamarie said: there's no incorrect way to feel right now.

It's totally natural, in my opinion, to want to be with him and not want to be with him at the same time. If counseling/therapy is something you want to do, by all means go for it, but I agree with the others who say that if he doesn't seem 100% remorseful, it might be a waste of time. If he gets defensive at all, if he brings up you going through his phone as a defense, I'd leave at the drop of a hat. YOU didn't do anything wrong here, the blame is all on him. He was the one sneaking around and sexting. Don't let him push this back on you.

ythannah wrote: »

xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »

ythannah wrote: »

52cardpickup wrote: »

Tubbs216 wrote: »

m1xm0d3 wrote: »

52cardpickup wrote: »

kellienw335 wrote: »

Confession: I don’t know what my goal weight should be. I’m 5’9 and currently weigh 221. (That’s a big step since I’ve never admitted that to anyone!) I had the goal set at 200, but didn’t feel like that was low enough. It’s now set at 190, but now I don’t feel like that is low enough either. I weighed 180 the year before my son was born and felt awesome. I weighed 160 when I graduated from high school (and thought I was fat). I know I’ll probably find a weight where I feel comfortable and don’t have to kill myself in the gym every day. I understand all the numbers. Just not sure if I can get back to the 160s mainly because I don’t know if I have the dedication. Looking for some advice from some of you. That seems like a lot of numbers and rambling.

I'm 5'9" and currently 134. I was originally looking to get down to 135, but I'm now looking to pack on some weight again in the form of muscle. Not sure if I want to do that in the form of a bulk or a recomp. I'd be happy to send you some progress photos, if that would help you.

My biggest regret is not weight training more consistently in my weight loss, if I'm being honest.

Eventually, once goals are close to being met or have already passed, this is what it will come down to. If you want to be skinny as a rail, fine. Diet and cardio all day, every day. But unless you are naturally blessed, if you want a fitness magazine cover body, you HAVE to do some strength training.

Serious question here: What if you don't want that? I'm 47 - the only people who see me naked is my husband and my dog (she judges me - she recently lost 15% of her bodyweight and is smug about it). I live in a climate where I'm covered up a lot of the time. All I really want is to look ok in my clothes. I feel like MFP is often all about lifting weights, and I'm just not interested in doing that.

I agree with all of this. I feel like there's a lot of pressure from a lot of people to jump on the weight lifting bandwagon for aesthetic reasons, and a lot of people throw out "LIFT HEAVY" as the be all and end all of exercise without considering other people's interest/disinterest/goals/physical limitations/aspirations/time/what have you.

This morning there was a thread started by a person who was depressed because they weighed in at 501 pounds, and one of the first suggestions was that they start squatting and deadlifting. Seriously? SMDH. I get the feeling that people don't read the original post, they just respond with an automatic blurb.

On the other hand, weight lifting (OR resistance training, and THAT IS THE KEY!) is great for reasons aside from aesthetics... it strengthens bones and bone density, aids in living independently into old age, etc. It doesn't mean that you have to squat 300 lbs and bench press 1000, or look like Arnold, or stand in front of the mirror kissing your muscles and taking selfies. I just believe that an exercise routine should be balanced like an "eating routine" (don'twanttosaydiet) should be balanced.

sorry if this came across as judge-y *hangs head in shame and slinks off*

THIS (bold) is why I took up lifting.

And because it's easy. "Easy" in that it doesn't require grace or coordination or skill or athletic ability, all of which I lack. Just a basic awareness of your own body mechanics and the willingness to press on, even on those days when it feels like you've been run over by a truck (lorry for you Brits) and then thrown down a flight of stairs. At least that was my experience anyway... yoga bores me to tears, I can't do aerobics or zumba to save my life, never played sports, but I can pick up a barbell repeatedly. Hey, whaddya know, I'm good at something.

This weekend I walked around a garden center with a big spirea, two rhododendrons and a rose bush in my arms (it was a feat of balance as much as strength). Carried them to my car and put them in the trunk. I want to be able to do that 20 years from now, not be the frail little old lady waiting for the nice young man to help with the carryout.

Aesthetically, I've discovered that I like seeing muscles. Visible proof of all the work I've done. It keeps me motivated. I'm one of the ones who looked pretty good in clothes, but I wasn't too happy with the naked body that menopause has given me. I'm also learning my limitations -- there are some saggy bits that no amount of weightlifting is going to change.

I've seen it posted around these parts before but the key to "fitness" is to find an activity that you love and are going to stick with -- which isn't necessarily going to be the activity that someone else loves.

You, I like. You can stay in this thread

I try Yoga. I love the stretching part but I can't get my Downward Dog to bend at all and I end up doing what I like to call the Flopping Fish instead. I like Zumba but I kina look like a deranged zebra. Walking fast and lifting weights is what I like more. I can do it, I don't need to be coordinated, it feels good to make my body move.

Lol. Good thing, I'm addicted to this thread and you wouldn't get rid of me anyway Even having to catch up on 230 new posts at the end of the day yesterday didn't deter me.

I walk too. But if I look at the scenery too much or don't pay attention to where I'm putting my feet, I've been known to lurch and stumble. I'm THAT uncoordinated.

I think I've read all the posts but haven't been able to reply... welcome back @ShibaEars... congrats to all who have lost weight or reached goal... @Italian_Buju loving the pics of Little Rodent Boy's sweet little furry face (I've had to backtrack to see them, they don't show at work).

Not having kids, I've never seen Frozen or Finding Nemo or SpongeBob or any of those. I can probably identify the characters, however, solely from seeing the merchandise prominently displayed in stores.

SR_86 wrote: »

ellietill20 wrote: »

Hi everyone, I'm new to the site, thought I'd start here and get the badness out of the way..

My problem is wine. I don't have a sweet tooth, can easily turn down chocolate, sweets and cake. I love cheese and savoury stuff but I can cut down when I need to.

But the wine... I am not trying to place blame at all but the problem is my mum drinks it every day and we both like the same dry white. so it's always in the house and we get into the habit of drinking probably about a bottle each if not more most nights. This sounds really bad, and yeah it is bad.

I made sure that my food diary on here was on private so that my friends couldn't see I was still having about a bottle each day

I don't think I have an actual problem as such, I mean I don't drink before 6pm and it doesn't affect my work etc., I can go without it but I just find it a lot harder to resist and I don't want it to ruin my weightloss journey.

Just wanted to get this off my chest because it's something I find hard to admit. But I'm determined to cut this out!

Hope I'm not the only one.

I wonder if this is the first time you have got that off your chest? My husband is like you. He drinks every night. Doesn't get drunk though, and has about 4-6 beers a night. He is self employed and never misses work. Infact he's a bit of a workaholic. He thinks this means he 'deserves' his beers every night. He is an alcoholic. He won't admit it and it is going to be the cause of our marriage ending if he doesn't sort himself out. He is in complete denial. Good luck x

nonoelmo wrote: »

berlynnwall wrote: »

Oh my freaking goodness. I have taken 2 different kinds of allergy medicine*, and used the allergy Visine drops, and my eyes are still bloodshot and so so itchy. If this hadn't happened several summers in the past, I would seriously think I had pink eye. Dying. Anybody have any tricks/ home remedies? I sat with ice on my face most of last evening.

*Singulair and Allegra

Stay inside as much as possible. Use A/C (filters air a bit), shower before bed to make sure you don't have pollen stuck in your hair/around you all night. Minimize exposure to all known triggers (hayfever type and food type). Coffee helps me a bit, avoid sugar if you can. I know what you are going through and it is no fun.

kellypence wrote: »

Susieq_1994 wrote: »

spamarie wrote: »

I'm a bit enraged today. I've been reading about a 'protest march' that took place over the weekend in my home town. It was organised by (Town name) Against Islam, which is just about as horrific and racist as it sounds. Makes me ashamed to be from there.

The really ridiculous part is there aren't actually any Muslims in my home town! I exaggerate, there may be one or two, but seriously, it's a 98% white, working class, typical north-eastern English town. Who are these people protesting against? My home town is so insular, my mother is considered her own ethnic minority (she's French). Most immigrants have the sense to bypass us altogether and I don't blame them!

Thankfully some of the more decent locals took some photos and it turns out it was just some pissheads outside a particularly nasty pub, who then wandered down the high street and ended up outside another seedy pub. More people were taking the p!ss out of them than partaking. Still, it enrages me. I probably went to school with some of these losers.

These are the things that make me sad. Also, the anti-Islam slogans on buses in a major city (can't remember where, but I think it was in Philadelphia?). The fact that the local government was behind those anti-Islam slogans perpetuating hatred against ANY religion (not just upset because it's Islam specifically, I mean) made me much more upset than a bunch of idiots marching around yelling things... :-/

So, it was Philly (unfortunately, I work there and saw the buses). I don't think it necessarily makes it any better, but the government was not behind the advertisements. In fact, because of these ads specifically, the local organization that runs the bus system (SEPTA) ended the ability of anybody to advertise on city buses. Essentially, they weren't legally allowed to not run the ad, so they fulfilled existing contracts and will no longer run any ads.