Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
Replies
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quiksylver296 wrote: »Confession today is that the squat rack was busy, again! I couldn't do my lifting on Monday because it was busy and I refused to miss it again today so I used the incline bench press rack as a squat rack. It worked at the time, but I have a distinct feeling I may come to regret doing it. We will find out tomorrow morning I guess.
Yikes. I don't think I could get under the incline bench to do a squat. I'm 5'9". Although, next time the squat rack is occupied, I'm gonna check it out.
Try it as a warm up first. I had to start in a half-squat position. I only did it because I saw a guy do it before and thought it seemed like a good idea. I didn't get told off so I'm assuming it's allowed.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »
Well, this is what I got.
I'm way behind, but it's been years since I've used one of those. Is that a positive or a negative?
ETA: Read further...negative. So sorry. I remember when we were trying to get pregnant. That negative on that stupid little stick was heart breaking. It took almost four years and one miscarraige before I got (and stayed) pregnant with my son.
Thanks. I took another one this morning, same result. I guess we're going to hold off on trying until I get my ADD issues under control. It just sucks, I get all excited and boom, nope. We tried in November and it didn't happen, and we decided to hold off again. Maybe in a few months....0 -
CountessKitteh wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Last time I stayed at a hotel, I took some of the little cups of peanut butter from the continental breakfast. I'm eating one now, with a spoon, as a snack.
Thief! Just kidding. That is a fabulous idea! I buy the little pre portioned cups of hummus so I don't have to weigh it out. It's WAY more expensive, but my time is precious and I don't want to spend it weighing out a really sad amount of hummus.
No judgement, but store-bought hummus is sad no matter what size or form it comes in! You can never beat homemade hummus. In fact, I just had some that I made a couple of days ago for dinner with Iranian-style kabab kubbideh! Yum.
I've been meaning to make hummus for weeks, but I'm worried that I will eat the entire batch in a week three days.
I usually just make enough for 8 very small servings (like enough to spread on a kabab/chicken sandwich) or two big fat servings (that would make up a whole meal) or four medium servings (enough for a side dish). All that to say that I make about 500 grams of it at a time. Heh.
Confession: I'm just really super fed-up with myself. Ever since I've started "slipping" I've basically been tightening my "restriction" belt more and more and more. Baking ingredients? Banned from the house. Sweets? Banned from the house. Butter? Banned. Sugar? Banned. And yet, I still manage to mess up, because I'm just that awesome. And you know what? I'm sick of it.
I told my husband last night that if I keep this up, we're not going to have any food left in the house at all soon. :-/ The last straw for me was when I slipped up (2000+ calories over maintenance) because of trying to bake something (out of desperation) with a bunch of substitutes that tasted NASTY, and it turned out that I could have had the same amount of the real stuff for much less calories than that... It's like I just keep on baking because baking is "bad" (and yet I really love baking) and so tempting to do because I feel like I can't ever do it again if I'm being "good".
So you know what I did? I threw out everything I've been doing for these last few months. Everything. I went out and I bought flour, sugars, butter, baking powder, chocolate, and then I baked a big ole batch of chocolate chip cookies. I now have a freezer full of cookies and two big bags of chocolate chips and a whole bunch of ingredients to bake more WHENEVER I WANT. And that feels freeing.
I did slip up eat more cookies than I intended to yesterday, BUT I didn't eat the whole tray like I did every single time before this because "I have to finish these so I won't mess up again tomorrow!". Well, it's tomorrow now. There are still plenty of cookies. And there will be plenty the day after too. And I don't need to have one right now, because I can have one later. And that feels freeing, too.
Will this work? I really have absolutely no idea. But I'm really, really, really sick of all this "forbidden" and "good" and "bad" and not being able to bake. So I'm throwing everything out of the window and starting over again. Send me good vibes?
Sorry for the novel.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »Last time I stayed at a hotel, I took some of the little cups of peanut butter from the continental breakfast. I'm eating one now, with a spoon, as a snack.
Brilliant. I like the way you think0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »I would be pissed, like I said in my last post, I would want to freak out.....
I have read a lot of the posts that say it is a deal breaker, and while some people feel that way, I do not always think it is that easy.
If it is some guy you have been with a few months or something, of course, get out right away. But if it is someone you have been with for many years and otherwise the relationship is good and this is not repeat behavior, IMO you really have to decide if it is something worth throwing the whole relationship out.
I know this might not be a popular opinion, but I do not believe the monogamy is natural for humans. Most animals are not monogamous. Even if you are doing your best to be monogamous, sometimes you become drawn to something you cannot control.
I am a firm believer that some people will always cheat, and some people may never, but given the right set of circumstances EVERYONE is capable of cheating. Ever see the movie Unfaithful? Perfect example.
Thanks. I appreciate it. This is the approach I'm taking. Like I said I haven't talked to him so I want to see what he has to say. I don't know if it's a good idea but as I've been going through things this week, I've been writing down thoughts/feelings. If he is open to listening, I want to share how it's affected me. Overall he has been great so this is a surprise. I'm not sure he realized how bad this really is. But then again, he was hiding it so maybe he does...
I have five free therapy sessions through work so I'm going to get his schedule and figure out when we are both free to go and make an appointment if he is willing. If not, I will give up.
I agree though. I think that monogamy is hard for a lot of people and probably not natural. However, I'd rather have someone admit to me that they aren't happy being with just me instead of going behind my back. If he is a man who wants to be in a relationship with me, I don't want to share and he will have to say no to temptation.
And yes, I've seen Unfaithful. That is a sad movie.
Also, I hope you are doing okay. I love the pictures of your rodent baby and I feel so bad for you. At least you know he had a good life with you!
I can't read books, stories, or watch movies like this, just makes me sick all over again. I do believe people can be monogamous, yes it's super hard and you have to work at it TOGETHER, but that is what COMMITMENT is. If you want to be in an open relationship, by all means do whatever floats your boat- but it's the lying and hiding things that are the problems. No good can come of it. My parents just celebrated their 31st wedding anniversary and I have no idea if either strayed nor do I want to know as it's their business but seeing as they're still very much in love and just how their relationship dynamic is I highly doubt either ever has. Again, monogamy is difficult but doable. I think saying we're not meant to be monogamous is a cop out personally, or giving people an excuse, but that's just my opinion!0 -
AngryViking1970 wrote: »Sounds like you're a naturally strong person, so you probably don't need it. I do. I'm quite the weakling. Well, physically anyway. Mentally, no. Mentally I'm known as the Boot Camp Drill Sargent in my family. Physically, well??? Let's just say that sometimes going in and out of the grocery store I step onto the automatic door thingy and the door doesn't open. Thankfully, I learned from "Toy Story" to jump up and down once or twice and the door opens. My son finds this highly amusing and will lag behind me just to watch it happen.
See and I can picture that and it's awesome. haha
Awesomely embarrassing, yes!
I don't jump up and down, but sometimes I have to cha cha back and forth to catch the sensor. We'd be a blast trying to get into the store together.
I can join your little group. I was following someone into a store one day and the door almost closed on me. Scared the crap outta me and I probably looked funny jumping out of the way. Maybe all three of us could get it to work lol.
Apparently I walk too fast....or lack a soul, I have walked into those darn doors more than once. Maybe I'll try disco dancing up to them to give the doors a chance.
LOL, that's what I've said about myself when they won't work
I am currently drinking a protein shake. Why, oh why can they not make a protein powder that tastes good?!
There's a brand called Nu-Tek that they sell at Nutrishop in the states. Not sure how widespread they are, but it's actually pretty tasty, and comes in a lot of different flavors. It's expensive though.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Last time I stayed at a hotel, I took some of the little cups of peanut butter from the continental breakfast. I'm eating one now, with a spoon, as a snack.
Thief! Just kidding. That is a fabulous idea! I buy the little pre portioned cups of hummus so I don't have to weigh it out. It's WAY more expensive, but my time is precious and I don't want to spend it weighing out a really sad amount of hummus.
No judgement, but store-bought hummus is sad no matter what size or form it comes in! You can never beat homemade hummus. In fact, I just had some that I made a couple of days ago for dinner with Iranian-style kabab kubbideh! Yum.
I've been meaning to make hummus for weeks, but I'm worried that I will eat the entire batch in a week three days.
I usually just make enough for 8 very small servings (like enough to spread on a kabab/chicken sandwich) or two big fat servings (that would make up a whole meal) or four medium servings (enough for a side dish). All that to say that I make about 500 grams of it at a time. Heh.
Confession: I'm just really super fed-up with myself. Ever since I've started "slipping" I've basically been tightening my "restriction" belt more and more and more. Baking ingredients? Banned from the house. Sweets? Banned from the house. Butter? Banned. Sugar? Banned. And yet, I still manage to mess up, because I'm just that awesome. And you know what? I'm sick of it.
I told my husband last night that if I keep this up, we're not going to have any food left in the house at all soon. :-/ The last straw for me was when I slipped up (2000+ calories over maintenance) because of trying to bake something (out of desperation) with a bunch of substitutes that tasted NASTY, and it turned out that I could have had the same amount of the real stuff for much less calories than that... It's like I just keep on baking because baking is "bad" (and yet I really love baking) and so tempting to do because I feel like I can't ever do it again if I'm being "good".
So you know what I did? I threw out everything I've been doing for these last few months. Everything. I went out and I bought flour, sugars, butter, baking powder, chocolate, and then I baked a big ole batch of chocolate chip cookies. I now have a freezer full of cookies and two big bags of chocolate chips and a whole bunch of ingredients to bake more WHENEVER I WANT. And that feels freeing.
I did slip up eat more cookies than I intended to yesterday, BUT I didn't eat the whole tray like I did every single time before this because "I have to finish these so I won't mess up again tomorrow!". Well, it's tomorrow now. There are still plenty of cookies. And there will be plenty the day after too. And I don't need to have one right now, because I can have one later. And that feels freeing, too.
Will this work? I really have absolutely no idea. But I'm really, really, really sick of all this "forbidden" and "good" and "bad" and not being able to bake. So I'm throwing everything out of the window and starting over again. Send me good vibes?
Sorry for the novel.
Yep! All the good vibes! Food is not good or bad or forbidden. It just is. It provides energy to your body. I'm planning on eating ice cream for dinner tonight (husband and son will be out of town). I have no guilt about that at all. It's a planned treat. It puts me 230 calories over for the day. But, if I hit the gym on the way home from work, which I plan to do, I should be fine.0 -
52cardpickup wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »
I would hire someone to do my laundry. I hate doing laundry. I FULLY REALIZE it just involves sticking a bunch of clothes into a stupid machine, and then sticking them into another stupid machine. Doesn't matter. Still hate doing laundry.
I don't like laundry either. Throwing it in the washer is no problem, but most of my clothes are hung to dry which is a pain.
Laundry I don't mind doing, but I bring it to work with me to do. Side benefit of working in athletics at a university is using the washer/dryer here I can do the equivalent of 6 loads washed/dried in 1 hour.
You can swing by and get my laundry any time! (eta: that sounds vaguely sexual and I promise you it's not! I apologize!)
I specifically only buy clothes that can be washed and dried. Nothing that needs any sort of special care. Last time I bought a sweater that needed to be hung to dry, my husband accidentally shrunk it in the dryer. I brought it to work without trying it on first after it had been washed (I wear workout clothes for my commute), changed into it and realized it had been turned into a crop top.
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52cardpickup wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »I made my co-workers go with me to the Whole Foods down the street from my work on our lunch break to look for a specific kind of ice cream (Halo Top), which they didn't have, even though other Whole Foods' carry it. My co-workers were trying to be helpful in suggesting other kinds of ice cream, but totally missed the point of this specific ice cream in the first place, which made me unreasonably internally pouty and now I feel bad. (The ice cream I was looking for has 70 calories per serving, 7 grams of protein, 4 grams of carbs, and 3 grams of fat. Ben and Jerry's isn't going to cut it, no matter how delicious it is )
Also, they kind of think I'm a nut, now, for caring that much about a brand of ice cream.
I can completely relate to that, apart from the fact that I would have to be very comfortable with someone to drag them to a store for a specific treat, lol.
How is that ice cream, though? It kinda sounds too good to be true.
Everyone and their mother in another group I belong to (/r/xxfitness and the associated Facebook group) RAVES about it (specifically the Lemon Cake kind), so I thought it would be worthwhile to at least TRY it. I thought I'd buy it at work, because there are a bunch of fitness-minded people here who would help me devour it if I didn't like it. Alas, the store nearest me did not have it. I don't like artificially sweetened things, but when they're sweetened with sugar alcohols as opposed to aspartame I don't mind them as much, and if it's frozen it's even harder to taste the "fakeness" of it, so I thought I'd give it a go.
I'm going to see where else I can get it, and report back.
Now I will DEFINITELY have to find it. I LOVE lemon cake. I wonder if it's like sorbet more than ice cream? I'm a little worried about the sugar alcohols though. The last time I ate something with sugar alcohols, I had to change my address to the third stall in office bathroom.
Do you remember which kind you had before? I do ok with erythritol, some of the others, I'm a sugar free gummy bear story in real time.
Whatever is in the Pure Protein bar. It was not a pleasant experience. So much so that I suggested eating one to someone that confessed that they were constipated.
I have a Pure Protein bar on hand and there is a warning label about the possible laxative effects. Guess I will save that one for a day I might need it.0 -
There may or may not be an unfortunate incident involving this stupid glove at some point today. This thing makes so much racket just from being moved around and it's driving. me. effing. crazy!0 -
AngryViking1970 wrote: »Sounds like you're a naturally strong person, so you probably don't need it. I do. I'm quite the weakling. Well, physically anyway. Mentally, no. Mentally I'm known as the Boot Camp Drill Sargent in my family. Physically, well??? Let's just say that sometimes going in and out of the grocery store I step onto the automatic door thingy and the door doesn't open. Thankfully, I learned from "Toy Story" to jump up and down once or twice and the door opens. My son finds this highly amusing and will lag behind me just to watch it happen.
See and I can picture that and it's awesome. haha
Awesomely embarrassing, yes!
I don't jump up and down, but sometimes I have to cha cha back and forth to catch the sensor. We'd be a blast trying to get into the store together.
I can join your little group. I was following someone into a store one day and the door almost closed on me. Scared the crap outta me and I probably looked funny jumping out of the way. Maybe all three of us could get it to work lol.
Apparently I walk too fast....or lack a soul, I have walked into those darn doors more than once. Maybe I'll try disco dancing up to them to give the doors a chance.
LOL, that's what I've said about myself when they won't work
I am currently drinking a protein shake. Why, oh why can they not make a protein powder that tastes good?!
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quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Last time I stayed at a hotel, I took some of the little cups of peanut butter from the continental breakfast. I'm eating one now, with a spoon, as a snack.
Thief! Just kidding. That is a fabulous idea! I buy the little pre portioned cups of hummus so I don't have to weigh it out. It's WAY more expensive, but my time is precious and I don't want to spend it weighing out a really sad amount of hummus.
No judgement, but store-bought hummus is sad no matter what size or form it comes in! You can never beat homemade hummus. In fact, I just had some that I made a couple of days ago for dinner with Iranian-style kabab kubbideh! Yum.
I've been meaning to make hummus for weeks, but I'm worried that I will eat the entire batch in a week three days.
I usually just make enough for 8 very small servings (like enough to spread on a kabab/chicken sandwich) or two big fat servings (that would make up a whole meal) or four medium servings (enough for a side dish). All that to say that I make about 500 grams of it at a time. Heh.
Confession: I'm just really super fed-up with myself. Ever since I've started "slipping" I've basically been tightening my "restriction" belt more and more and more. Baking ingredients? Banned from the house. Sweets? Banned from the house. Butter? Banned. Sugar? Banned. And yet, I still manage to mess up, because I'm just that awesome. And you know what? I'm sick of it.
I told my husband last night that if I keep this up, we're not going to have any food left in the house at all soon. :-/ The last straw for me was when I slipped up (2000+ calories over maintenance) because of trying to bake something (out of desperation) with a bunch of substitutes that tasted NASTY, and it turned out that I could have had the same amount of the real stuff for much less calories than that... It's like I just keep on baking because baking is "bad" (and yet I really love baking) and so tempting to do because I feel like I can't ever do it again if I'm being "good".
So you know what I did? I threw out everything I've been doing for these last few months. Everything. I went out and I bought flour, sugars, butter, baking powder, chocolate, and then I baked a big ole batch of chocolate chip cookies. I now have a freezer full of cookies and two big bags of chocolate chips and a whole bunch of ingredients to bake more WHENEVER I WANT. And that feels freeing.
I did slip up eat more cookies than I intended to yesterday, BUT I didn't eat the whole tray like I did every single time before this because "I have to finish these so I won't mess up again tomorrow!". Well, it's tomorrow now. There are still plenty of cookies. And there will be plenty the day after too. And I don't need to have one right now, because I can have one later. And that feels freeing, too.
Will this work? I really have absolutely no idea. But I'm really, really, really sick of all this "forbidden" and "good" and "bad" and not being able to bake. So I'm throwing everything out of the window and starting over again. Send me good vibes?
Sorry for the novel.
Yep! All the good vibes! Food is not good or bad or forbidden. It just is. It provides energy to your body. I'm planning on eating ice cream for dinner tonight (husband and son will be out of town). I have no guilt about that at all. It's a planned treat. It puts me 230 calories over for the day. But, if I hit the gym on the way home from work, which I plan to do, I should be fine.
Logically, I completely and utterly know that. I really do. I even have a college-level diploma in nutrition, the course of which I graduated from with a perfect 4.0 GPA to prove that I shouldn't be such a moron.
I used to have a better relationship with food, believe it or not. I could have one cookie and then say no because I didn't have calories for the rest, and I could keep all kinds of goodies in my house/fridge to eat small bits of when I had the calories for them. I'm honestly not sure what happened. I think it was that I would mess up, then restrict a little bit, then mess up again, and so on... And restriction begets restriction, and I kept restriciting further to "fix" the inevitable slips that I keep making.
But that's it. I'm done. No more "no" to anything--Or at least that's the plan. No more "I have to finish all of these so I won't have more of them to mess up again tomorrow". It just has to stop; it's such a horrible downward spiral. :-/0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Last time I stayed at a hotel, I took some of the little cups of peanut butter from the continental breakfast. I'm eating one now, with a spoon, as a snack.
Thief! Just kidding. That is a fabulous idea! I buy the little pre portioned cups of hummus so I don't have to weigh it out. It's WAY more expensive, but my time is precious and I don't want to spend it weighing out a really sad amount of hummus.
No judgement, but store-bought hummus is sad no matter what size or form it comes in! You can never beat homemade hummus. In fact, I just had some that I made a couple of days ago for dinner with Iranian-style kabab kubbideh! Yum.
I've been meaning to make hummus for weeks, but I'm worried that I will eat the entire batch in a week three days.
I usually just make enough for 8 very small servings (like enough to spread on a kabab/chicken sandwich) or two big fat servings (that would make up a whole meal) or four medium servings (enough for a side dish). All that to say that I make about 500 grams of it at a time. Heh.
Confession: I'm just really super fed-up with myself. Ever since I've started "slipping" I've basically been tightening my "restriction" belt more and more and more. Baking ingredients? Banned from the house. Sweets? Banned from the house. Butter? Banned. Sugar? Banned. And yet, I still manage to mess up, because I'm just that awesome. And you know what? I'm sick of it.
I told my husband last night that if I keep this up, we're not going to have any food left in the house at all soon. :-/ The last straw for me was when I slipped up (2000+ calories over maintenance) because of trying to bake something (out of desperation) with a bunch of substitutes that tasted NASTY, and it turned out that I could have had the same amount of the real stuff for much less calories than that... It's like I just keep on baking because baking is "bad" (and yet I really love baking) and so tempting to do because I feel like I can't ever do it again if I'm being "good".
So you know what I did? I threw out everything I've been doing for these last few months. Everything. I went out and I bought flour, sugars, butter, baking powder, chocolate, and then I baked a big ole batch of chocolate chip cookies. I now have a freezer full of cookies and two big bags of chocolate chips and a whole bunch of ingredients to bake more WHENEVER I WANT. And that feels freeing.
I did slip up eat more cookies than I intended to yesterday, BUT I didn't eat the whole tray like I did every single time before this because "I have to finish these so I won't mess up again tomorrow!". Well, it's tomorrow now. There are still plenty of cookies. And there will be plenty the day after too. And I don't need to have one right now, because I can have one later. And that feels freeing, too.
Will this work? I really have absolutely no idea. But I'm really, really, really sick of all this "forbidden" and "good" and "bad" and not being able to bake. So I'm throwing everything out of the window and starting over again. Send me good vibes?
Sorry for the novel.
Yep! All the good vibes! Food is not good or bad or forbidden. It just is. It provides energy to your body. I'm planning on eating ice cream for dinner tonight (husband and son will be out of town). I have no guilt about that at all. It's a planned treat. It puts me 230 calories over for the day. But, if I hit the gym on the way home from work, which I plan to do, I should be fine.
Logically, I completely and utterly know that. I really do. I even have a college-level diploma in nutrition, the course of which I graduated from with a perfect 4.0 GPA to prove that I shouldn't be such a moron.
I used to have a better relationship with food, believe it or not. I could have one cookie and then say no because I didn't have calories for the rest, and I could keep all kinds of goodies in my house/fridge to eat small bits of when I had the calories for them. I'm honestly not sure what happened. I think it was that I would mess up, then restrict a little bit, then mess up again, and so on... And restriction begets restriction, and I kept restriciting further to "fix" the inevitable slips that I keep making.
But that's it. I'm done. No more "no" to anything--Or at least that's the plan. No more "I have to finish all of these so I won't have more of them to mess up again tomorrow". It just has to stop; it's such a horrible downward spiral. :-/
You got this, Susieq. We all screw up. I'm not in a great place myself, nutritionally. But I'm gonna keep plugging away at it. I figure, as long as I don't give up completely, I'm still winning. HUGS to you!0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Last time I stayed at a hotel, I took some of the little cups of peanut butter from the continental breakfast. I'm eating one now, with a spoon, as a snack.
Thief! Just kidding. That is a fabulous idea! I buy the little pre portioned cups of hummus so I don't have to weigh it out. It's WAY more expensive, but my time is precious and I don't want to spend it weighing out a really sad amount of hummus.
No judgement, but store-bought hummus is sad no matter what size or form it comes in! You can never beat homemade hummus. In fact, I just had some that I made a couple of days ago for dinner with Iranian-style kabab kubbideh! Yum.
I've been meaning to make hummus for weeks, but I'm worried that I will eat the entire batch in a week three days.
I usually just make enough for 8 very small servings (like enough to spread on a kabab/chicken sandwich) or two big fat servings (that would make up a whole meal) or four medium servings (enough for a side dish). All that to say that I make about 500 grams of it at a time. Heh.
Confession: I'm just really super fed-up with myself. Ever since I've started "slipping" I've basically been tightening my "restriction" belt more and more and more. Baking ingredients? Banned from the house. Sweets? Banned from the house. Butter? Banned. Sugar? Banned. And yet, I still manage to mess up, because I'm just that awesome. And you know what? I'm sick of it.
I told my husband last night that if I keep this up, we're not going to have any food left in the house at all soon. :-/ The last straw for me was when I slipped up (2000+ calories over maintenance) because of trying to bake something (out of desperation) with a bunch of substitutes that tasted NASTY, and it turned out that I could have had the same amount of the real stuff for much less calories than that... It's like I just keep on baking because baking is "bad" (and yet I really love baking) and so tempting to do because I feel like I can't ever do it again if I'm being "good".
So you know what I did? I threw out everything I've been doing for these last few months. Everything. I went out and I bought flour, sugars, butter, baking powder, chocolate, and then I baked a big ole batch of chocolate chip cookies. I now have a freezer full of cookies and two big bags of chocolate chips and a whole bunch of ingredients to bake more WHENEVER I WANT. And that feels freeing.
I did slip up eat more cookies than I intended to yesterday, BUT I didn't eat the whole tray like I did every single time before this because "I have to finish these so I won't mess up again tomorrow!". Well, it's tomorrow now. There are still plenty of cookies. And there will be plenty the day after too. And I don't need to have one right now, because I can have one later. And that feels freeing, too.
Will this work? I really have absolutely no idea. But I'm really, really, really sick of all this "forbidden" and "good" and "bad" and not being able to bake. So I'm throwing everything out of the window and starting over again. Send me good vibes?
Sorry for the novel.
Yep! All the good vibes! Food is not good or bad or forbidden. It just is. It provides energy to your body. I'm planning on eating ice cream for dinner tonight (husband and son will be out of town). I have no guilt about that at all. It's a planned treat. It puts me 230 calories over for the day. But, if I hit the gym on the way home from work, which I plan to do, I should be fine.
Logically, I completely and utterly know that. I really do. I even have a college-level diploma in nutrition, the course of which I graduated from with a perfect 4.0 GPA to prove that I shouldn't be such a moron.
I used to have a better relationship with food, believe it or not. I could have one cookie and then say no because I didn't have calories for the rest, and I could keep all kinds of goodies in my house/fridge to eat small bits of when I had the calories for them. I'm honestly not sure what happened. I think it was that I would mess up, then restrict a little bit, then mess up again, and so on... And restriction begets restriction, and I kept restriciting further to "fix" the inevitable slips that I keep making.
But that's it. I'm done. No more "no" to anything--Or at least that's the plan. No more "I have to finish all of these so I won't have more of them to mess up again tomorrow". It just has to stop; it's such a horrible downward spiral. :-/
You got this, Susieq. We all screw up. I'm not in a great place myself, nutritionally. But I'm gonna keep plugging away at it. I figure, as long as I don't give up completely, I'm still winning. HUGS to you!
That's exactly what I've been figuring. As long as I don't throw my hands up and say "Whatever, I'm just going to stop trying and stay fat. Let's go have pizza. And milkshakes. And ice cream. And then follow it all up with cheesecake."... I still have a chance. Here's to us! Hoping for the best. :-/0 -
I feel terrible if my calories go into the red - even if I know that I've busted my booty exercising for the day. I will literally go outside my apt and run stairs for 15 mins to get it back in the green. Also, it really upsets me that you get NO calories "earned" from strength training!0
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lelizmason wrote: »I feel terrible if my calories go into the red - even if I know that I've busted my booty exercising for the day. I will literally go outside my apt and run stairs for 15 mins to get it back in the green. Also, it really upsets me that you get NO calories "earned" from strength training!
You can log it under cardio. There's an entry for strength training. It will give you a few calories. I think I get about 160 calories for 45 minutes.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »
Sharing a picture of Phoebe and me from Sunday. We moved up to 3' (tried a few years ago and we had a few issues, so backed down and have been working on it every since -- my issues not hers) and tried again this past Sunday. She was amazing and we ROCKED it.
Plus, this is my first time trying to post a photo in here from my computer. I made it work on tablet, have never been able to figure out phone, so let's see if desktop works!
I love this picture and LOVE her name!
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Whatever is in the Pure Protein bar. It was not a pleasant experience. So much so that I suggested eating one to someone that confessed that they were constipated.
That was me you suggested it to. I do eat two a day (breakfast and lunch). Nothing so far.
Now I'm trying the Pearls (probiotic/enzyme pills).
Instead of having to temporarily relocate to the third stall in the restroom, they'd have to set up my desk in there. I can't even LOOK at the box without having traumatic PTSD flashbacks. (That is in no way a stab at people with actual PTSD, I'm just saying, it was traumatic).
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Last time I stayed at a hotel, I took some of the little cups of peanut butter from the continental breakfast. I'm eating one now, with a spoon, as a snack.
Thief! Just kidding. That is a fabulous idea! I buy the little pre portioned cups of hummus so I don't have to weigh it out. It's WAY more expensive, but my time is precious and I don't want to spend it weighing out a really sad amount of hummus.
No judgement, but store-bought hummus is sad no matter what size or form it comes in! You can never beat homemade hummus. In fact, I just had some that I made a couple of days ago for dinner with Iranian-style kabab kubbideh! Yum.
I've been meaning to make hummus for weeks, but I'm worried that I will eat the entire batch in a week three days.
I usually just make enough for 8 very small servings (like enough to spread on a kabab/chicken sandwich) or two big fat servings (that would make up a whole meal) or four medium servings (enough for a side dish). All that to say that I make about 500 grams of it at a time. Heh.
Confession: I'm just really super fed-up with myself. Ever since I've started "slipping" I've basically been tightening my "restriction" belt more and more and more. Baking ingredients? Banned from the house. Sweets? Banned from the house. Butter? Banned. Sugar? Banned. And yet, I still manage to mess up, because I'm just that awesome. And you know what? I'm sick of it.
I told my husband last night that if I keep this up, we're not going to have any food left in the house at all soon. :-/ The last straw for me was when I slipped up (2000+ calories over maintenance) because of trying to bake something (out of desperation) with a bunch of substitutes that tasted NASTY, and it turned out that I could have had the same amount of the real stuff for much less calories than that... It's like I just keep on baking because baking is "bad" (and yet I really love baking) and so tempting to do because I feel like I can't ever do it again if I'm being "good".
So you know what I did? I threw out everything I've been doing for these last few months. Everything. I went out and I bought flour, sugars, butter, baking powder, chocolate, and then I baked a big ole batch of chocolate chip cookies. I now have a freezer full of cookies and two big bags of chocolate chips and a whole bunch of ingredients to bake more WHENEVER I WANT. And that feels freeing.
I did slip up eat more cookies than I intended to yesterday, BUT I didn't eat the whole tray like I did every single time before this because "I have to finish these so I won't mess up again tomorrow!". Well, it's tomorrow now. There are still plenty of cookies. And there will be plenty the day after too. And I don't need to have one right now, because I can have one later. And that feels freeing, too.
Will this work? I really have absolutely no idea. But I'm really, really, really sick of all this "forbidden" and "good" and "bad" and not being able to bake. So I'm throwing everything out of the window and starting over again. Send me good vibes?
Sorry for the novel.
Hey there...I think having the things available helps me. I know it's there and that takes the urgency out of it. I know you said that bringing foods to neighbors is not done...what about your husband bringing things to work? I know when we brought things to our break room in q8 people loved it. It's a thought for things that don't freeze as well as cookies.
I'm excited that when I get back to my sister's she is making her own hummus...cuz I hate to cook0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »The stepdaughter did come by last night. She emptied the litter box and I assume fed/watered her cat. She was in the living room (with a friend she brought over without telling us) my husband and daughter. They were all chatting when I walked in. I said zero words to her, put away the groceries, and went to take a shower since I had just worked out.
Apparently, she told my husband and daughter that she was going to drop off her friend and come back. I don't feel I need to tell you this didn't happen.
My husband finally broke down last night and said "I don't know why she doesn't want to live with us." It was heartbreaking and I want to spank her for being such a little jerk to her dad.
Thank you for allowing me to vent incessantly about this on here. I really appreciate it.
How nice of her to feed and change her cat!!!
Do you think there might be something else going on here? Like drugs or something?
I kinda thought that, too, when Mo said she took off with her friend and didn't come back. When my step-daughter was using, it was like this all the time. Wouldn't hear from her for months at a time. Would say she was coming over, then never showed up. Luckily, she's clean now and doing really well.
I hadn't even thought about that. I really don't know what's going on. I'm just sad that she doesn't want to be a part of our kick *kitten* family.
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Confession, not happy today. I seriously want to headbutt my SO. I sat in the cold for 5 hours watching a cricket game for him on Sunday and I think he is going to bail out of my Birthday dinner with my family tonight. Sometimes I can't help but think he is a selfish pri*k.
He owes you all the things for making you watch cricket. Seriously, cricket. *comforts gently*
Cricket. Baseball on Valium.
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kelly_c_77 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »
I would hire someone to do my laundry. I hate doing laundry. I FULLY REALIZE it just involves sticking a bunch of clothes into a stupid machine, and then sticking them into another stupid machine. Doesn't matter. Still hate doing laundry.
People think I am weird but I love doing laundry . Pulling it out of the dryer when it smells good. Folding it into neat little piles then hanging it all up in the closet . Just makes me happy..
I'm also a laundry lover. I get irritated if anybody else uses MY laundry machines. Just leave them alone and let me have this one thing.
I don't mind laundry. But I HATE folding socks. They will sit in a laundry basket for YEARS and everyone will have to hunt through for a matching pair.
I don't fold socks at all. I will give everyone their own socks in their laundry pile, but if they want to match them, that is on them. I also don't care if they just throw them all in a drawer and dig through in the morning. I have a relaxed attitude about this lol.
ETA: My men always seem to turn their socks inside out when removing them. For many years I'd turn them right way out. No longer. Ditto my daughter's skinny jeans & leggings. They know they get a pretty good deal in that I'm prepared to do their laundry, so they don't get to complain!
All of my husbands shirts come off inside out. He works outside...so in the winter, he wears lots of layers. He just peels them all off in one big lump...inside out. I turned them the right way for 12 years...the past two years, I wash, dry, and hang them up...all inside out.
Now, my 3.5 year old son's shirts come off inside out as well. Really??
I always take my shirts off inside out and my husband doesn't so it's my clothes that I need to turn the right way. I accused him of knowing some kind of magic to get his shirts to come off without turning them inside out.0 -
kelly_c_77 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »
I would hire someone to do my laundry. I hate doing laundry. I FULLY REALIZE it just involves sticking a bunch of clothes into a stupid machine, and then sticking them into another stupid machine. Doesn't matter. Still hate doing laundry.
People think I am weird but I love doing laundry . Pulling it out of the dryer when it smells good. Folding it into neat little piles then hanging it all up in the closet . Just makes me happy..
I'm also a laundry lover. I get irritated if anybody else uses MY laundry machines. Just leave them alone and let me have this one thing.
I don't mind laundry. But I HATE folding socks. They will sit in a laundry basket for YEARS and everyone will have to hunt through for a matching pair.
I don't fold socks at all. I will give everyone their own socks in their laundry pile, but if they want to match them, that is on them. I also don't care if they just throw them all in a drawer and dig through in the morning. I have a relaxed attitude about this lol.
ETA: My men always seem to turn their socks inside out when removing them. For many years I'd turn them right way out. No longer. Ditto my daughter's skinny jeans & leggings. They know they get a pretty good deal in that I'm prepared to do their laundry, so they don't get to complain!
All of my husbands shirts come off inside out. He works outside...so in the winter, he wears lots of layers. He just peels them all off in one big lump...inside out. I turned them the right way for 12 years...the past two years, I wash, dry, and hang them up...all inside out.
Now, my 3.5 year old son's shirts come off inside out as well. Really??
I reject any clothes that are inside out in a lump - my older daughter (14yo) often does that with her school polo t-shirt and jumper. This lands back in her bedroom when I sort out the laudry basket.
I confess to be weird when it comes to my underwear drawer. It's a big one so it's divided in 3 area - 1 for socks and tights, 1 for bras and last one for panties. All neatly folded and in perfect rows...0 -
52cardpickup wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »I made my co-workers go with me to the Whole Foods down the street from my work on our lunch break to look for a specific kind of ice cream (Halo Top), which they didn't have, even though other Whole Foods' carry it. My co-workers were trying to be helpful in suggesting other kinds of ice cream, but totally missed the point of this specific ice cream in the first place, which made me unreasonably internally pouty and now I feel bad. (The ice cream I was looking for has 70 calories per serving, 7 grams of protein, 4 grams of carbs, and 3 grams of fat. Ben and Jerry's isn't going to cut it, no matter how delicious it is )
Also, they kind of think I'm a nut, now, for caring that much about a brand of ice cream.
I can completely relate to that, apart from the fact that I would have to be very comfortable with someone to drag them to a store for a specific treat, lol.
How is that ice cream, though? It kinda sounds too good to be true.
Everyone and their mother in another group I belong to (/r/xxfitness and the associated Facebook group) RAVES about it (specifically the Lemon Cake kind), so I thought it would be worthwhile to at least TRY it. I thought I'd buy it at work, because there are a bunch of fitness-minded people here who would help me devour it if I didn't like it. Alas, the store nearest me did not have it. I don't like artificially sweetened things, but when they're sweetened with sugar alcohols as opposed to aspartame I don't mind them as much, and if it's frozen it's even harder to taste the "fakeness" of it, so I thought I'd give it a go.
I'm going to see where else I can get it, and report back.
Now I will DEFINITELY have to find it. I LOVE lemon cake. I wonder if it's like sorbet more than ice cream? I'm a little worried about the sugar alcohols though. The last time I ate something with sugar alcohols, I had to change my address to the third stall in office bathroom.
Do you remember which kind you had before? I do ok with erythritol, some of the others, I'm a sugar free gummy bear story in real time.
Whatever is in the Pure Protein bar. It was not a pleasant experience. So much so that I suggested eating one to someone that confessed that they were constipated.
I have a Pure Protein bar on hand and there is a warning label about the possible laxative effects. Guess I will save that one for a day I might need it.
I didn't catch that until AFTER I had already eaten it. I now look for warning labels on my food.
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Last time I stayed at a hotel, I took some of the little cups of peanut butter from the continental breakfast. I'm eating one now, with a spoon, as a snack.
Thief! Just kidding. That is a fabulous idea! I buy the little pre portioned cups of hummus so I don't have to weigh it out. It's WAY more expensive, but my time is precious and I don't want to spend it weighing out a really sad amount of hummus.
No judgement, but store-bought hummus is sad no matter what size or form it comes in! You can never beat homemade hummus. In fact, I just had some that I made a couple of days ago for dinner with Iranian-style kabab kubbideh! Yum.
I've been meaning to make hummus for weeks, but I'm worried that I will eat the entire batch in a week three days.
I usually just make enough for 8 very small servings (like enough to spread on a kabab/chicken sandwich) or two big fat servings (that would make up a whole meal) or four medium servings (enough for a side dish). All that to say that I make about 500 grams of it at a time. Heh.
Confession: I'm just really super fed-up with myself. Ever since I've started "slipping" I've basically been tightening my "restriction" belt more and more and more. Baking ingredients? Banned from the house. Sweets? Banned from the house. Butter? Banned. Sugar? Banned. And yet, I still manage to mess up, because I'm just that awesome. And you know what? I'm sick of it.
I told my husband last night that if I keep this up, we're not going to have any food left in the house at all soon. :-/ The last straw for me was when I slipped up (2000+ calories over maintenance) because of trying to bake something (out of desperation) with a bunch of substitutes that tasted NASTY, and it turned out that I could have had the same amount of the real stuff for much less calories than that... It's like I just keep on baking because baking is "bad" (and yet I really love baking) and so tempting to do because I feel like I can't ever do it again if I'm being "good".
So you know what I did? I threw out everything I've been doing for these last few months. Everything. I went out and I bought flour, sugars, butter, baking powder, chocolate, and then I baked a big ole batch of chocolate chip cookies. I now have a freezer full of cookies and two big bags of chocolate chips and a whole bunch of ingredients to bake more WHENEVER I WANT. And that feels freeing.
I did slip up eat more cookies than I intended to yesterday, BUT I didn't eat the whole tray like I did every single time before this because "I have to finish these so I won't mess up again tomorrow!". Well, it's tomorrow now. There are still plenty of cookies. And there will be plenty the day after too. And I don't need to have one right now, because I can have one later. And that feels freeing, too.
Will this work? I really have absolutely no idea. But I'm really, really, really sick of all this "forbidden" and "good" and "bad" and not being able to bake. So I'm throwing everything out of the window and starting over again. Send me good vibes?
Sorry for the novel.
I completely agree with this. If you constantly are thinking about the "bad" foods you've banned from your diet, they're the only foods you want. I totally believe in moderation.0 -
kelly_c_77 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »
I would hire someone to do my laundry. I hate doing laundry. I FULLY REALIZE it just involves sticking a bunch of clothes into a stupid machine, and then sticking them into another stupid machine. Doesn't matter. Still hate doing laundry.
People think I am weird but I love doing laundry . Pulling it out of the dryer when it smells good. Folding it into neat little piles then hanging it all up in the closet . Just makes me happy..
I'm also a laundry lover. I get irritated if anybody else uses MY laundry machines. Just leave them alone and let me have this one thing.
I don't mind laundry. But I HATE folding socks. They will sit in a laundry basket for YEARS and everyone will have to hunt through for a matching pair.
I don't fold socks at all. I will give everyone their own socks in their laundry pile, but if they want to match them, that is on them. I also don't care if they just throw them all in a drawer and dig through in the morning. I have a relaxed attitude about this lol.
ETA: My men always seem to turn their socks inside out when removing them. For many years I'd turn them right way out. No longer. Ditto my daughter's skinny jeans & leggings. They know they get a pretty good deal in that I'm prepared to do their laundry, so they don't get to complain!
All of my husbands shirts come off inside out. He works outside...so in the winter, he wears lots of layers. He just peels them all off in one big lump...inside out. I turned them the right way for 12 years...the past two years, I wash, dry, and hang them up...all inside out.
Now, my 3.5 year old son's shirts come off inside out as well. Really??
I reject any clothes that are inside out in a lump - my older daughter (14yo) often does that with her school polo t-shirt and jumper. This lands back in her bedroom when I sort out the laundry basket.
I confess to be weird when it comes to my underwear drawer. It's a big one so it's divided in 3 area - 1 for socks and tights, 1 for bras and last one for panties. All neatly folded and in perfect rows...
It's the balled up socks that get to me. I don't want to put my hand in a sweaty sock to turn it right side out. I swear if it keeps happening I'm going to start leaving them on their pillows for "correction".0 -
sunnyside1213 wrote: »Confession, not happy today. I seriously want to headbutt my SO. I sat in the cold for 5 hours watching a cricket game for him on Sunday and I think he is going to bail out of my Birthday dinner with my family tonight. Sometimes I can't help but think he is a selfish pri*k.
He owes you all the things for making you watch cricket. Seriously, cricket. *comforts gently*
Cricket. Baseball on Valium.
Ha ha it's true, so true.
He couldn't go to the dinner in the end, he had to go on an emergency call out. I know this is true because I work in the same company and took the call.0 -
About 6 years ago I used to have an eating disorder.
Due to severe malnutrition, my heart, kidneys and liver were failing.
I was estimated to live for roughly 6 more weeks.
Today that's long past me. I'm healthy, exercising, eating clean, varied and enough.
I'm no longer having self-destructive thoughts about body or food.
However, my girlfriend recently brought up she wanted to lose weight.
She's healthy, and quite skinny already, and I'm scared to death.
We've talked and fought a lot about it.
I decided her feeling-good would go before my fears.
So now I'm supporting her in her weight loss and we started exercising together. (As to where she never did any exercise..)
I'm supporting her but it feels so wrong. It's so much against my nature.
It's bringing back traumatic experiences I've gone through being admitted to an institution for EDs.
I feel guilty because I told her about all of this, and she got mad.
She got mad because she knew about my past already, but decided to be straightforward with me about it and now regrets it. She's mad because she's blaming herself for me feeling bad due to her own choices.
At least that's what she believes, because ofcourse I'm scared mostly due to how in my head it links to past experiences.
I know it might be irrational to think she's going to go the same route.
But I know she too has seen both sides of the "weight" coin. (Having been both very skinny/chubby)
As I said I'm supporting her, pushing my own thoughts and fears aside, but when I do that she just gets angry.
Now she completely is reluctant to losing weight, I believe she's afraid to hurt me.
I myself feel bad since I know she feels bad in her own body, but no longer dares to change it out of fear of my reaction to that.
No matter how many times I tell her the 'problem' of my bad mood about the topic is my own personal experiences, she seems to always take it personally anyway.
I'm being confronted with my past, yes, but then it's my responsibility to deal with it.
It's almost as if she feels responsible, doesn't want me to have to deal with it, thus puts her own desires aside in the hope it would make me more happy.
In truth it doesn't make either of us happy. I'm still trying to support her (though not pushing) in making healthier choices, subtly and not too often, cause I know I am ready to do so, and -I- just have to deal with my own mind.
She told me that she needs 100% of support of everyone around her to be able to lose weight.
I'm doing my best but she just ignores my efforts, she doesn't even accept my support.
I'm not quite sure what to do.
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AngryViking1970 wrote: »Sounds like you're a naturally strong person, so you probably don't need it. I do. I'm quite the weakling. Well, physically anyway. Mentally, no. Mentally I'm known as the Boot Camp Drill Sargent in my family. Physically, well??? Let's just say that sometimes going in and out of the grocery store I step onto the automatic door thingy and the door doesn't open. Thankfully, I learned from "Toy Story" to jump up and down once or twice and the door opens. My son finds this highly amusing and will lag behind me just to watch it happen.
See and I can picture that and it's awesome. haha
Awesomely embarrassing, yes!
I don't jump up and down, but sometimes I have to cha cha back and forth to catch the sensor. We'd be a blast trying to get into the store together.
I can join your little group. I was following someone into a store one day and the door almost closed on me. Scared the crap outta me and I probably looked funny jumping out of the way. Maybe all three of us could get it to work lol.
Apparently I walk too fast....or lack a soul, I have walked into those darn doors more than once. Maybe I'll try disco dancing up to them to give the doors a chance.
LOL, that's what I've said about myself when they won't work
I am currently drinking a protein shake. Why, oh why can they not make a protein powder that tastes good?!
Two words: Dyna Whey. Available at Superstore (and Costco, if you have one).
But ONLY in Canada, because you are greedy protein that doesn't taste icky bastages.
Oh, gosh. You weren't supposed to see that.
I seriously think of you every damn morning when I open the container (it's in Tupperware) and the aroma of iced cappuccino wafts out at me.
Which brings me to a strange confession... for someone who loathes cooking, and all aspects of meal preparation, I own craploads of Tupperware. All acquired in my younger years when I was not very well off, and that stuff's bloody expensive. I think maybe I had a fantasy that it would make me enjoy cooking, or make it easier, or something like that.
When I first moved out, I had all my mom's old tupperware, and then my aunt sent me a giant box full because she bought all new. I have it in 80's pastels and 70's avocado and pumpkin. Between my husband and I, we cook ALL the time, but we never bother with the tupperware. We use gladlock containers and freezer bags for everything.
I bet you don't have the gigantic cake taker caddy thing, which has only ever seen use as a bucket when my water tank pressure valve decided to leak. How about the pick-a-deli? (And I never buy pickles!) TWO sets of the canisters? Enough mixing bowls to start your own bakery?
Sadly, the only piece that I didn't purchase is the big divided server thing, for fresh fruit or veggies. Somebody unloaded it on me. And I don't entertain.
I had the cake taker. Then I used it for the intended purpose, and put a cake in it. That resulted in everyone forgetting there was a cake in it, and when I remembered and took it down, it was moldy. Which is why I had a cake taker but no longer have a cake taker. I have the popsicle molds, though.
Want another cake taker?
I have two of the pie takers. I use them a lot for transporting cheesecake to potluck events, and for keeping cheesecake in the fridge... because even I can't finish off a 9" cheesecake in a few days.
Mmm... cheesecake...
No thanks, the inherent problem with the cake taker is you can't see the cake inside, so forget it's there.
I don't understand this concept of forgetting there is cake!0
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