Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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riderfangal wrote: »
First time thing. Sigh. Oh well.
Anyway, I hope you all have a good weekend!
Wasn't this the day you were supposed to have the "talk"? Or am I completely wrong
Yes, he decided he was too tired to come over which caused another fight. We did end up talking Saturday. I'm going to try to work things out but I'm still torn. I want to try therapy and then if nothing changes, I'm done.
My heart physically hurts because I want to stay but yet leave. When things are good they are wonderful but I don't know if I can forgive, forget and trust again. That's why I want to try therapy first.
Now to catch up with the rest of the thread.
Glad to see you post, I thought about you this weekend! You can only take it one day at a time and expect your feelings to go back and forth, completely normal! Good luck! We are here when you need to talk!0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »I have two updates!
1) My Wegmans does carry the Halo Top Vanilla, Chocolate, and Lemon Cake. They were ALL sold out (they only got a very small amount in) so I shall have to check back.
2) I PASSED MY EXAM!!!!!!!!!!
Checking in on a Sunday night because I have actual work to do this week, but so glad to hear this! How's your FIL?
And I'm sure this has already been covered, but why is @JPW1990 in jail?
Can someone PLEASE explain what this jail thing is, what is means?
Jail means they've violated some forum guideline(s) if I remember right. Don't quote me on that, though.
But how do you know? I looked at JPW1990's photo, and it didn't look any different.....didn't someone say it was from their profile photo??
I was the one that mentioned it. I noticed on the thread that she had bars over her profile pic. Not sure exactly what you have to do to get there, but know that it's a result of violating forum guidelines.
@Italian_Buju It depends on where you're looking at their photo from, and whether you're on the app or the laptop. If you go to their profile, their photo is the same--only the profile picture in the forums will have bars over them. On the app, the "jail" bars often cover up their whole post, so you can't read it at all. Just a second, I'll go check in the main forums to see if I can get a screenshot for you.
Found one!
That you so much! I went to her page and didn't see anything I was so confused! So I guess that is why we have not seen her post.....hope she gets out soon....I wonder how long that takes!
She can still post. If you use the app you can't see the post. But if you use the website, you can.
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »Last night, I couldn't sleep and I was feeling pretty depressed, and I ended up writing rather than sleeping. As I mentioned before, I often use poetry to express emotions, so I wrote a new poem. I don't feel that I can share it on Wattpad; it's too personal and I also feel that it's a little too dark for the atmosphere I try to maintain there. But I figured (well, I hope anyway...) nobody would mind if I shared it here, and some might be able relate to it.
Broken14/06/15
Sometimes I think my body’s like
A hollow husk of skin
The pieces inside like scattered shards
Of glass; piercing me within
They’re the thoughts that ravage me
That tear at my heart, my soul
Until I feel there’s nothing left
But bloody, ragged holes
They’re the emotions; the ones that choke
Like a damp blanket on my face
I gasp, I panic, I try to breathe
But all my effort goes to waste
It’s the dread that follows me
As I go about my day
It haunts and whispers nasty things
And it just won’t go away
I cut my fingers as I try so hard
To reconnect those broken shards
With a glue of hope, of life and love
And hope for healing with no scars
Sometimes the pain is just too much
And I run off to hide awhile
To cry a little, lick my wounds
And not have to fake a smile
I take refuge in the arms of the one I love
For him I’ll keep trying my all
He’s always there to soothe the hurt
And to catch me when I fall
He deserves to have the best
So even as I sob and wish to die
I get up and keep going through the dark
Praying for my tears to one day dry
So back I go to try again
Maybe today will be the day
As long as there’s life in this broken shell
Faith in God will lead the way
That is a very well written poem, you lady, have a talent.
Very emotional because I can relate to it 100%. I used to use art to combat my depression as well, wish I still did.
I hope you feel better, I always enjoy reading your posts ^-^0 -
I have to go to work now and will catch up tonight!! I am looking forward to work even less than normal today as my boss just found out we have inventory this Friday and she freaks out when it is weeks away, let alone dropped on her this week.....not gonna be a fun day! The only upside is she will prob change my late Friday shift to morning....
Have a good day everyone, see you tonight for my usual binge posting lol.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Today's confession.
I brought up the stepdaughter thing with my husband yesterday because we haven't seen or heard from her since she graced us with her presence Monday, and it did not go well. I think I might be PMSing because I lost it. I yelled, said things I shouldn't have, then cried afterward. I felt bad because I started in on him basically as soon as he walked in the door. He told me he should have just stayed at work. I hate it when he says that.
Anyway, after both of us calmed down, he said that I need to let him handle things his way but he is going to talk to her. I will not be a part of that conversation which is best for everyone. He expressed that he doesn't feel like she's taking advantage of us because he's her dad and he would do the same for Rachael. He also said this is NOT how he pictured a life with her and he's very upset (sad) that she doesn't want to be in our circle (I laughed a little when he described our family as a circle).
I appreciate your positive thoughts and prayers because I don't want this to put a strain on our marriage especially when we leave for Florida in 15 days and we're getting ready to celebrate 15 years of marriage.
On a positive note, if I'm PMSing this early, that means my period is coming soon and I'll be done before my trip.
I hope he does talk to her and it all works out for your family! Is Rachael going on vacation with you and hubby?
Um, no. This is really like a belated honeymoon since we didn't have one the first time around. She's pretty peeved about not going, but I told her that I've waited 15 years for this so she'll just have to get over it. She's going later in July with my mom anyway, so it's not like she's not going to miss out. Really, the only things she'll miss out on are our incessant make out sessions, hand holding, and occasional (probably more on his part) butt grabbing/patting. I'm sure she's not at all sad about missing out on those things.
I hope things work out too because we REALLY do want her to be a part of our circle.
We got married last March - honeymoon was Maui in April. We were the only old people constantly making out in the pool at our resort. We had a very quiet beach at night. Let me just tell you this - sand doesn't give as much as you may think. Sex on the beach wasn't nearly as much fun as I thought it was going to be.
I don't plan on finding out. I'm a bit of a prude, so no hanky panky for us outside our room and most likely on the bed only. I'm quite boring. My poor, poor husband.
This actually surprises me...
Really?! Why?!
You don't at all seem boring or conservative. More fun loving. So I would assume that translates to all parts of your life. (Assuming you really were asking me and not just being tongue in cheek...sometimes it's hard to tell in here).
This is such a nice thing to say. I'm a very strange person. I'm EXTREMELY sarcastic, and I love to joke around and have fun. When it comes to intimacy though, I keep that private. I think part of that has to do with my childhood though and I'd rather not open that can right now. Let me just say this, my man is satisfied and he still, even after almost 17 years of being together, finds me desirable, even without me having to be overly sexual. He's always trying to get into my pants, or smacking my butt, or something. It's intensified since I've started working out. My daughter doesn't appreciate it as much as I do.
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@Susieq_1994 you are such a beautiful writer, thank you for posting that poem I know I can relate to it so much0
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Hahaha good catch!0 -
@Susieq_1994 you are such a beautiful writer, thank you for posting that poem I know I can relate to it so much
Me too! So well written!0 -
Ok so kind of a weird question but does anyone own a 2013-2015 Honda Civic? It's on my short list of things to buy when I get a new vehicle and I'm just curious.0
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xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »Ok so kind of a weird question but does anyone own a 2013-2015 Honda Civic? It's on my short list of things to buy when I get a new vehicle and I'm just curious.
I do!0 -
Confession: I am being such a scaredy cat and I hate it! I started going to a gym last week with the intention of beginning strength training. I downloaded the stronglifts app and have watched the videos a billion times to get the form right. Every time I go in there and approach the weights, I see all those guys in that area doing their thing. I then turn around and go where all the women are and do the elliptical for 45 min. then go home. What is wrong with me? I thought I was a brave person until this... sigh.0
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NSV
My daughter age 16 as I've mentioned has some struggles with her relationship with food and her body image. She is at a perfect weight and is healthy. She is doing pretty well the last few weeks.
She lives primarily with me. She is interning with me this summer. We spend tons of time together as her friends are almost all out of town.
As I am at a healthy weight and as she is around constantly I am not measuring or weighing or logging food. I have lost five pounds in three months. I'm absolutely thrilled with that. The best part is she doesn't know that I am actually working on weight loss. When I told her I wanted sleep more than a run this morning her answer was "well it's not like you are trying to lose weight so you don't have that added motivation. " I am so glad she has not caught on that I am working on my weight. That sounds weird but this very slow small loss is my goal.
I'm glad she is not negatively impacted by it.
That's awesome and congratulations on the 5 lbs.
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@Susieq_1994 you are such a beautiful writer, thank you for posting that poem I know I can relate to it so much
Thank you very much.xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »@Susieq_1994 you are such a beautiful writer, thank you for posting that poem I know I can relate to it so much
Me too! So well written!
And you, too! 0 -
xMrBunglex wrote: »xMrBunglex wrote: »I have to confess that although I've been feeling this way for a while now (not sure why) I lost all interest in continuing to work at my current job yesterday while talking to the owner of my company. It's not even that I want a DIFFERENT job, I just don't want to work. at all. period. Honestly, if it weren't for the benefits I get (really inexpensive insurance, 2 weeks of vacation, 3 sick/personal days, free fitness center, and a pretty decent wage), I would quit and be a SAHM even though my daughter is 13.
Brings to mind this scene from Office Space:
On what he'd do if he had a million dollars:
Peter: "I would relax...I would sit on my @ss all day...I would do nothing."
Lawrence: "Well, you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Take a look at my cousin: he's broke, don't do *kitten*!"
Well, it DOES feel good to be a gangsta. And more than one occasion, I've wanted to take a Louisville Slugger to our copier at work.
Apparently excellent taste runs in this thread!
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Confession: I am being such a scaredy cat and I hate it! I started going to a gym last week with the intention of beginning strength training. I downloaded the stronglifts app and have watched the videos a billion times to get the form right. Every time I go in there and approach the weights, I see all those guys in that area doing their thing. I then turn around and go where all the women are and do the elliptical for 45 min. then go home. What is wrong with me? I thought I was a brave person until this... sigh.
Don't worry! You're not alone, it can be very intimidating! Is there a trainer you can book for one session to "show you the ropes"? Can you start with dumbbells instead of the bar? Otherwise, just take a deep breath and go for it! 99 times out of a hundred the guys in that area doing their thing aren't going to think twice about you. Just do your thing, even if you go in and do a couple of warm up squats or deadlifts, or just a few lifts that aren't related to stronglifts (bicep curls, what have you) to get used to just being in the area. The more you go, the less intimidating it will seem. Almost everyone, even those guys, have felt the same feeling of anxiety when first stepping into the weight room where everyone else looks like they belong there naturally. It takes time to get used to it!0 -
FluffySandwich wrote: »That's a good way to put it- it felt like I was being treated as though I had committed a crime. Everyone would say ''So what are YOU in for?'' and I would say ''I don't know.'' Then they'd call me a liar. I did talk to a girl who claimed to have brought down a plane by screaming and punching people. I can understand why you panicked and I'm sorry I'm sure not all hospitals are like that one, and a good therapist can go a long way. I hope you're feeling better now, you deserve to be feeling your very best
I've had a similar experience (was only there for about three days though). But (please don't think bad of me) I saw all the different kinds of people there and I was just thinking to myself, I'm not as crazy as these people, why am I here?0 -
Wow! I loved reading all your confessions! It does make me feel less of a weirdo when I do the following:
1) I take off 0.2lbs from the scale, because you never know. And, I weigh myself every day and record it every day.
2) When I'm feeling desperate, I will eat celery and salsa and not log it, even if it's a whole jar of salsa.
3) I am also a bulk eater and will eat mountains of lettuce and mounds of steamed broccoli and cauliflower at meal times.
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52cardpickup wrote: »Confession: I am being such a scaredy cat and I hate it! I started going to a gym last week with the intention of beginning strength training. I downloaded the stronglifts app and have watched the videos a billion times to get the form right. Every time I go in there and approach the weights, I see all those guys in that area doing their thing. I then turn around and go where all the women are and do the elliptical for 45 min. then go home. What is wrong with me? I thought I was a brave person until this... sigh.
Don't worry! You're not alone, it can be very intimidating! Is there a trainer you can book for one session to "show you the ropes"? Can you start with dumbbells instead of the bar? Otherwise, just take a deep breath and go for it! 99 times out of a hundred the guys in that area doing their thing aren't going to think twice about you. Just do your thing, even if you go in and do a couple of warm up squats or deadlifts, or just a few lifts that aren't related to stronglifts (bicep curls, what have you) to get used to just being in the area. The more you go, the less intimidating it will seem. Almost everyone, even those guys, have felt the same feeling of anxiety when first stepping into the weight room where everyone else looks like they belong there naturally. It takes time to get used to it!
Thank You! There's only one trainer there and he's never available when I go in after work... at least so far. I don't think I chose a great gym, but it's cheap. That's a good idea, the idea of the bar itself is intimidating to me. I'm going to get in there and work with the dumbbells today to get used to being there.0 -
mayfairmenthols wrote: »I'm 301 calories over my allowance today and the red numbers are taunting me so much that I was going to work out.....but then I found myself realising that even if I do, the workout maximum I can manage without killing myself still would be short of what I need to burn off so I decided it wasn't worth it.
I'm doubly ashamed of myself for enjoying the meal and not working out
Im in the exact same position today! I went over by about 300 calories, I had my work dumbbells and floor mat all laid out ready to do at least SOME exercise for today I flicked the tv to put my workout dvd in....then i noticed the show that was on and long story short it's 3 and a half hours later and i've not moved off the couch and my dumbbells have remained untouched this evening xD0 -
ddrhellbunny wrote: »So I got into a car accident on Friday and damaged my car to where I can't legally drive it. Both the girl and I are ok and we exchanged information and no damage to either of us but, damn. I didn't need this. 300 deductible as well for the shop
I hope you are okay. What a mess. I hope everything works out okay.Glinda1971 wrote: »So I'm only going to work for about an hour and a half today. I have an abscessed tooth to the point where half my face is swollen.
Since I don't have a dentist or a doctor at the moment, I guess it's hours in emergency for me this morning. Since all the walk ins require you to be a patient of their Clinic.
Ouch. That is painful. I’m glad you are getting it worked on though. I know those can get bad/deadly. I’m really afraid of dentist so in the past I’ve used this stuff I’ve found at Walgreens called Red Cross Toothache that has helped with the pain. (Please don’t flag me for spam haha) It worked for me so it may be worth a try. It tastes gross though.AngryViking1970 wrote: »I've been thinking about you. I'm glad you were able to talk with him, but the whole situations just sucks.
Thank you. You all have helped me more than you know. I was very therapeutic to be able to talk to someone about everything. I’m trying not to talk about it too much here though because I don’t want a pity party.
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