Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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riderfangal wrote: »Rant for the day. I offered to take my ex with my son and I when we go camping this weekend for Fathers day. At first he was all for it BUT because we can't leave exactly when he wanted to due to the fact I have a Dr appointment he threw a fit and now he is not coming. The irony of it is the Drs office just called to change the date of my visit so we could have went when he wanted to leave after all. Confession I might have sent him a snarky text telling him this. I shouldn't let him get under my skin or even offer to do things with/for him because I just get angry in the end and my son ends up being disappointed as well. Is it bad to wish he would just disappear off the face of the earth.
NO! Not bad at all. I've had issues with my youngest son's father since day one. Twenty-three years later he still causes us issues. Sorry, not to be negative and I hope your situation improves, but my ex was in jail recently for about 18 months. Quietest 18 months of my life! But, he's now out and back to his usual shenanigans.
Thank you for this. It just makes me so angry because I know the reality of the situation is he decided not to come because I said I didn't want him drinking ( he is an alcoholic and is a frequent visitor to the psychiatric wing) but he is putting it on my because I wouldn't change the appointment for him.
Also I am sorry your ex is like this too but I am glad you got a slight reprieve when he was jailed
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WestCoastJo82 wrote: »And so it begins... My dad and step-mother are taking me out for a birthday dinner tonight. I have started logging what I suspect I will be eating. Fried chicken. This place has the best fried chicken but the calories are off the charts. I have been doing really well for the past 70 day, not once over maintenance. I really don't want to blow it this weekend just because it is my birthday. I just don't see how I'll be able to resist.
I am seriously considering telling them I am too sick to go.
Obviously do what is best for you, but I think going over maintenance for a special occasion is totally worth it. If you know it will snowball, then yes, absolutely avoid it. But...if the chicken is worth it, it's worth it! Enjoy the weekend, and then get back to it on Monday.
Happy birthday!
I agree and Happy Birthday! One thing I'd say is, are there activities you love to do? If so, plan a birthday meal AND a birthday activity. I get the whole food/celebration link. That is ingrained and will always be there, but I personally believe in attaching non-food-related activities or items to celebrations as well. Either way, enjoy!0 -
And so it begins... My dad and step-mother are taking me out for a birthday dinner tonight. I have started logging what I suspect I will be eating. Fried chicken. This place has the best fried chicken but the calories are off the charts. I have been doing really well for the past 70 day, not once over maintenance. I really don't want to blow it this weekend just because it is my birthday. I just don't see how I'll be able to resist.
I am seriously considering telling them I am too sick to go.
It's your birthday! Happy Birthday! Eat ALL the fried things you want and ALL the cake you want! Start tracking again on Monday and drink lots of water.0 -
nyrgrrlfan wrote: »I hope I'm posting this correctly...I had a bingefest of pickle spears in the middle of the night last night...i still recorded them, but I now am in the negative for sodium for the rest of the day...
I'm almost always over on sodium. I know it's not great, but I'm focusing more on being under on calories for now. When I get closer to goal, I'll worry more about macros/micros I think. Just drink extra water!0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age
) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!0 -
Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »I like being friends with the people from this thread.
Because I know nobody will put their judgy pants on when they see my diary.
I never put judgy pants on when I see diaries! I understand what it's like to struggle, and plus I just get jealous when it's full of yums...
But yours is private, I can't even see it even though we're friends--so nobody can put judgy pants on at all!
I thought I had unlocked that for friends. I will fix it.
Thanks.
You're welcome! I love browsing diaries; you'll find a lot of 3000+ calories days if you browse mine, though (and a ton of empty days, these past few months, unfortunately.
). 0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »smashley_mashley wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »williamsbuffie wrote: »It has been a tough day. I know this was not going to be easy but even the people that help you....judge you....smh and crying
I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you!
@orangesmartie I'm glad you took your meds! I hope they'll help you get into a better headspace.
@FluffySandwich Have a wonderful time on vacation, safe travels! Don't forget airplane window pictures.
Everyone else... MrM contacted me through PM. He let me know that he asked the others to stop engaging here, but wants us to understand their point--inconsistent moderation isn't fair to anyone.
Nobody has anything against our thread, and they don't want to get it removed--they just believe that the mods are being unfair by treating us one way and others in another. I think we can all agree that they're right, even if the comparison of the locked threads to this one are not very similar--the mods are usually super strict, and they've never made an appearance here (which I'm sure we're all grateful for).
Anyhow, he just wants us all to play nice and understand each other's point, if possible--I personally see their side, and I hope you guys do as well. I hope we can all avoid attacking or offending each other, and meet halfway.
Sorry about the novel.
Can you PM me and fill me in on what happened? It will take me days to go back through the thread to find it. Did Mr.M get booted from this thread?
Edited to fix quotes
Full explanation sent, along with the location of the pages you can find the conversation on, if you care to do so.
Please send to me too! I am too far behind and feel like I missed something critical!0 -
Well.. I guess I should say my confessions!
I went to Zaxby's last week and ate their 5 piece chicken meal and then went home and had cookies... Needless to say, I was well over my calories allowance.
I punish myself for my cheat days with intense exercise which stresses me out and makes my hair fall out.
I don't drink enough water when I do exercise and I don't stretch properly either.
I only get 6 hours of sleep a day maximum (really paranoid/anxious at night)
I struggle to eat enough protein everyday.
And that's about it!
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quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
Duh. Hmmmm, it's interesting that I'm paid to detect stuff and I missed that big clue. I'm a dork.
But we love you any way. Maybe you need to change your username to say notsoquiksylver296.
AHAHAHA sorry @quiksylver296 not laughing at you but you can't help but giggle at that response!
Sorry...laughing here, too!
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raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »I think I'm going to take a break from logging for a little while, I'm so overwhelmed right now with everything.
The good news is, I have a doctor's appointment July 9th, so hopefully I'll get some help.
Raelynn had a 3 year old checkup on Monday, and her pediatrician is referring us for services through the school district for her. (Special needs, SPD and Anxiety) I'm glad someone is finally listening!
I'll still be here checking in, and once things get better I'll try to start logging again. Y'all are more than welcome to add me as well, I'd love to have y'all as friends!
My former best friend has a child with SPD and anxiety, and the therapy and services he got helped him so much. She also had good results with cognitive behavioral therapy when he was a bit older (5ish). Good luck to you guys!0 -
Thank you for the encouragement {{ }} -1
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pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »smashley_mashley wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »williamsbuffie wrote: »It has been a tough day. I know this was not going to be easy but even the people that help you....judge you....smh and crying
I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you!
@orangesmartie I'm glad you took your meds! I hope they'll help you get into a better headspace.
@FluffySandwich Have a wonderful time on vacation, safe travels! Don't forget airplane window pictures.
Everyone else... MrM contacted me through PM. He let me know that he asked the others to stop engaging here, but wants us to understand their point--inconsistent moderation isn't fair to anyone.
Nobody has anything against our thread, and they don't want to get it removed--they just believe that the mods are being unfair by treating us one way and others in another. I think we can all agree that they're right, even if the comparison of the locked threads to this one are not very similar--the mods are usually super strict, and they've never made an appearance here (which I'm sure we're all grateful for).
Anyhow, he just wants us all to play nice and understand each other's point, if possible--I personally see their side, and I hope you guys do as well. I hope we can all avoid attacking or offending each other, and meet halfway.
Sorry about the novel.
Can you PM me and fill me in on what happened? It will take me days to go back through the thread to find it. Did Mr.M get booted from this thread?
Edited to fix quotes
Full explanation sent, along with the location of the pages you can find the conversation on, if you care to do so.
Please send to me too! I am too far behind and feel like I missed something critical!
Sent! 0 -
And now I feel worse because my husband asked why I didn't drive him to school. I don't know why - I should have, I was just in such a panic I wasn't thinking straight.Oh, I am such a bad mother! My son is in the middle of diploma exams - I checked the calendar a dozen times and wrote down that his last two exams are on Monday. Got a call from the school at 9.34 saying that he should be in an exam right now and that they'd let him in if he got there by 10.00. I hauled him out of bed and thrust the car keys in his hand. He should be able to get there on time. I'm shaking. How could I have messed up so badly?
Oh, no! Don't jump on the guilt train! It's nearly impossible to keep up with everyone else's schedule and your own!
ETA: And you are NOT a bad mother!0 -
Yes, it's true that they can learn - my son has made huge strides. Bearing in mind he is diagnosed with multiple disorders (social and educational), he's done amazingly well and we're really proud of him, but I can see as BZAH says, the struggle will continue even though he's now legally an adult.catruledquilter wrote: »
Special needs kid. Not good at organising himself. Trusts his useless loving, helpful (who can't do it all, sometimes makes mistakes, but will always try her best) mother to do it for him.quiksylver296 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »
And now I feel worse because my husband asked why I didn't drive him to school. I don't know why - I should have, I was just in such a panic I wasn't thinking straight.Oh, I am such a bad mother! My son is in the middle of diploma exams - I checked the calendar a dozen times and wrote down that his last two exams are on Monday. Got a call from the school at 9.34 saying that he should be in an exam right now and that they'd let him in if he got there by 10.00. I hauled him out of bed and thrust the car keys in his hand. He should be able to get there on time. I'm shaking. How could I have messed up so badly?
Not judging, but if he's old enough to drive...why isn't he keeping his own exam schedule?
I kinda thought that, too. (But not judging!)
I called the school and he did get there in time. So he wasn't prepared, but at least he's there.
Fixed that for you!
Good "repair job", BZAH10! Even special needs kids can learn to be more organized and on time...it just takes a LOT more work to get them there.
Thanks! Yes, yes they can be taught and I believe @Tubbs216 is doing a great job. The hardest part? As a mom learning to let go and give them more control. Constant struggle for me.0 -
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
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quiksylver296 wrote: »
I do work out. I run, I lift some weights and I do a boot camp class. I was super disciplined to lose 30 pounds and somewhere between 30 and 40, I just can't seem to get it back. the way I lost doesn't work any more....I need to find what "clicks" with my body and get over this pity party I'm having. I'm usually a super enthusiastic person, it's just got to be a funk
This is a key that is sometimes easily forgotten. This is an ever-evolving process. You have to learn to listen to your body and change up your workouts, your foods, your schedule, whatever you can really. IMHO, anyway. Also, look back at your food diary and see if you are missing essential nutrients. Could you be lacking certain vitamins? Just a thought.0 -
Agree. Sodium schmodium. Pickles have like, NO calories, so if you have to binge...berlynnwall wrote: »nyrgrrlfan wrote: »I hope I'm posting this correctly...I had a bingefest of pickle spears in the middle of the night last night...i still recorded them, but I now am in the negative for sodium for the rest of the day...
I'm almost always over on sodium. I know it's not great, but I'm focusing more on being under on calories for now. When I get closer to goal, I'll worry more about macros/micros I think. Just drink extra water!
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quiksylver296 wrote: »MissLaaber wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »MissLaaber wrote: »Confession: I've been such a horrible depression cycle for the past two weeks, work and life is just weighing me down. I rage quit my job yesterday but now I'm here, I love my job but my mental health right now isn't supportive of the job. I'm now stuck between do I stay and wait it out (mental healthwise) or do I stay and look to move on asap?
I'm confused. Did you quit or not?
I verbally quit yesterday but I've gotten texts and calls since then from my boss asking me to reconsider, I'm planning on meeting with him within the next few days to discuss. So what it comes down to is will things get better or will they stay the same? If nothing changes then I am job searching.
I say keep the job until you find something better. Gotta pay the bills. Also, if you haven't already, go see a doctor for help with your depression.
I agree with this. This is what I'd do, too. And who knows? Maybe after discussing things with your boss they will work with you and things will get better? Be honest and tell them what is wrong and what you'd like to change in order for you to stay. Nothing to lose, really.0 -
I love fried chicken0
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quiksylver296 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »If I had packed anything else to eat, this frickin' hard boiled egg that will not peel would be in the garbage right now! I confess I am irrationally angry at an inanimate object.
An ice bath after cooking can help with the peeling process. I understand the frustration. I hate it when the eggs don't peel right!
And you gotta peel 'em right away! I never have any success if I leave them in the shell for any length of time.
OK. I'm confused now. I cooked two. One wouldn't peel for nothing and the other one peeled fine. I think I got a defective egg.
I always peel them all right after cooking. Have heard if they are older they peel easier, so I put them in the fridge for a week and boil them the next week. Also heard that if you add a little baking soda to the water they are easier to peel, so I do that too. I seem to have less trouble since I started doing both of these things.
Awhile ago in this thread someone mentioned they told an egg to eff off and threw it away...still makes me giggle when I find one that's hard to peel.0
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