Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

Lois_1989 wrote: »

lilaclovebird wrote: »

Lois_1989 wrote: »

lilaclovebird wrote: »

Confession: I'm struggling with my self image a bit today. I feel unattractive and my self worth is plummeting. I really want to bake something to make myself feel better. Not necessarily eat it, but bake it.

I have day's like this. I tend to wear baggy clothes and avoid all mirrors and reflective surfaces. I know some people suggest 'finding something positive in the mirror' but the only positive I ever find is that I like my eyebrows. lol

I think the worst part is my ex posted a picture of himself and his new woman on facebook. It PISSES ME OFF that 'I' was never worthy of a photo with him on facebook.

I thought I was over it but Sgt. Sexy Pants and I are at odds at the moment which is totally exacerbating this whole feeling of 'not being good enough.'

I anticipate a run with my dog after work to channel all of this hurt and anger. I only hope my poor Tessa can keep up.

I highly recommend unfriending him. My SO made the mistake of keeping in touch with his ex and 8 years later she is still texting him asking "why was I such a bad girlfriend" "What did I do wrong". She is getting married soon and I have a bet with him that he will get a text the night before the wedding asking him if she is doing the right thing. She is also still talking with his mum, it's weird. I fully expect her to turn into some obsessive follower who tries to steal our kids or something. The joke is he cheated on her, if I was her I would have run away and cut all ties, but she keeps coming back, like some sort of toenail fungus.

For the sake of Sgt. Sexy Pants unfriend him and cut all ties.

Very good advice!!

riderfangal wrote: »

lilaclovebird wrote: »

Lois_1989 wrote: »

lilaclovebird wrote: »

Confession: I'm struggling with my self image a bit today. I feel unattractive and my self worth is plummeting. I really want to bake something to make myself feel better. Not necessarily eat it, but bake it.

I have day's like this. I tend to wear baggy clothes and avoid all mirrors and reflective surfaces. I know some people suggest 'finding something positive in the mirror' but the only positive I ever find is that I like my eyebrows. lol

I think the worst part is my ex posted a picture of himself and his new woman on facebook. It PISSES ME OFF that 'I' was never worthy of a photo with him on facebook.

I thought I was over it but Sgt. Sexy Pants and I are at odds at the moment which is totally exacerbating this whole feeling of 'not being good enough.'

I anticipate a run with my dog after work to channel all of this hurt and anger. I only hope my poor Tessa can keep up.

Keep your chin up girl. You are fabulous! As for you and SSP hope you guys can get back on track!!

Ditto!!

Lois_1989 wrote: »

orangesmartie wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

Lois_1989 wrote: »

FluffySandwich wrote: »

"Aluminium" is hard to say. I say it like the usual American: ALUMINUM.

Ha ha there is no 'oo' in it. It's not aloominum lol

Sure it is. A loom in um

No no no no no

Al-u-min-ee-um

Ha ha Darn straight.

That seems like a lot of work for a word. A loom in um sounds just about right.

LBuehrle8 wrote: »

@orangesmartie I'm happy you're back! I was wondering where @Susieq_1994 was too? @BZAH10 hasn't been around for a good while now

@lilaclovebird keep your head up you are gorgeous! And I agree with @lois_1989 unfriend him!

@BZAH10 I think is one who just got overwhelmed with the amount of activity on here and gave up. Maybe she'll eventually return. Susie is having some other issues and may be taking a break but us staying positive and unargumentative is critical to her anxiety issues (and I hope she won't be mad at me for saying that) so needed a break. I miss her but I am sure she'll be back when ready.

@pofoster21 - Are you censoring posts? I keep seeing quoted posts with strike throughs and alterations. I can't think if it's the same person or as a collective you are all censoring ha ha

rungirl1973 wrote: »

Lois_1989 wrote: »

LBuehrle8 wrote: »

Lois_1989 wrote: »

lilaclovebird wrote: »

Lois_1989 wrote: »

lilaclovebird wrote: »

Confession: I'm struggling with my self image a bit today. I feel unattractive and my self worth is plummeting. I really want to bake something to make myself feel better. Not necessarily eat it, but bake it.

I have day's like this. I tend to wear baggy clothes and avoid all mirrors and reflective surfaces. I know some people suggest 'finding something positive in the mirror' but the only positive I ever find is that I like my eyebrows. lol

I think the worst part is my ex posted a picture of himself and his new woman on facebook. It PISSES ME OFF that 'I' was never worthy of a photo with him on facebook.

I thought I was over it but Sgt. Sexy Pants and I are at odds at the moment which is totally exacerbating this whole feeling of 'not being good enough.'

I anticipate a run with my dog after work to channel all of this hurt and anger. I only hope my poor Tessa can keep up.

I highly recommend unfriending him. My SO made the mistake of keeping in touch with his ex and 8 years later she is still texting him asking "why was I such a bad girlfriend" "What did I do wrong". She is getting married soon and I have a bet with him that he will get a text the night before the wedding asking him if she is doing the right thing. She is also still talking with his mum, it's weird. I fully expect her to turn into some obsessive follower who tries to steal our kids or something. The joke is he cheated on her, if I was her I would have run away and cut all ties, but she keeps coming back, like some sort of toenail fungus.

For the sake of Sgt. Sexy Pants unfriend him and cut all ties.

Call me possesive and jealous but this would not fly for me.

It does my head in every time. SO wants to tell me when she texts to prove I can trust him and to be open about it, which is fine, I just find it really weird that she can't let go. She saw a picture of me on facebook the other day apparently, with a ring on he bought me years ago and she was asking if it was an engagement ring! (Its not) So what if it is? You gonna come running down the isle trying to stop the wedding or something? Crazy woman!

Nope. I would not handle that well at all. When hubby and I were dating, he had an ex-girlfriend text him and told me about it after he blocked her from his phone. There's no reason for communication with an ex unless you have kids together. That's just me, though. If I saw an ex in a public setting, I might talk to them briefly, but there would be no communication via phone.

This 100%

barbecuesauce wrote: »

nonoelmo wrote: »

kellienw335 wrote: »

nonoelmo wrote: »

Kalici wrote: »

nonoelmo wrote: »

nonoelmo wrote: »

ETA: I "learned" to date in my 40's. I never "dated" like that before, I didn't know how to do it. It was so fun and cool (and scary) to discover so much about myself. I was always 100% myself and clear that I was looking for a good relationship. I did work hard on keeping good boundaries and only dating men who didn't raise red flags.

What are some red flags for people?
The one's I really looked for:

Very angry/resentful toward someone (i.e., ex, mother, sibling, etc.) even if deserved it should not come out in date #1 or #2.

Pushing for "cuddles" or anything else very quickly.

Not understanding what an appropriate level of activity for a first or second date would be (i.e. writing a song for me after one email exchange, planning a weekend away in another state for a second date.)

Not having an appropriate job for his age (i.e. I am in the middle age dating pool, I want to date someone not support him financially.)

What other red flags come to mind?

Not letting me do things for myself e.g. insisting on ordering something for me instead of letting me order what I want and other weird signs of dominance.

Talking about their ex repeatedly in anyway. Glowing terms can be just as bad as negative ones. My ex girlfriend was so good to me she'd drop everything to make me my favorite dinner and then she'd clean up the entire kitchen.

Treating staff where ever you go badly. I think you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat people who're waiting on them.

Calling too much (I had one guy literally calling me over 30 times in one day) or too little (if you haven't heard from them in a month they're not really interested).

I agree with these and the others listed earlier. Good stuff

I would also add

If you are a mom the guy wanting to be insta-dad. I vaguely mentioned my kids in my profile and more than one man in the first email offered to help raise them. No thank you.

The player who is almost seems like relationship material but fails. He comes so close and is charming and good looking and rich. And them you realize he's flakey as heck. And his almost commitments are insincere and then he tells you he's been divorced twice not just once and was with wife #2 while still with wife #1. And then you let him know no more. You will not be going out with him again.

No projects. He is not there to fix or improve you. You are not there to fix or improve him.

You have to like each other as people and be interested in who that person is. That means no projecting. One man kept trying to put words into my mouth about what I liked and what I did for fun.

Where was this advice when I was dating? You should teach a class! All the single ladies, looking for someone, in this thread should start taking notes!!

Develop your passive aggressive detection radar. (Speaking from experience)

I really agree with how does he treat people who are in the service industry. Kindness and human decency are priorities to me.

How does he treat animals?

BIG red flag - is he always the victim and life is not fair and it is always someone else's fault. RUN!!!

So much these! And describes himself as a nice guy--if you really are, you don't need to advertise it.

For me:

-Religious. Haven't yet met a religious man who didn't try to change me or didn't force the issue of my atheism.
-Discusses his ex in any capacity too close to the beginning. Asks about your exes.
-Has hang-ups about purity. More of an issue for you younger girls, but RUN from dudes who are obsessed with knowing about your sexual past or try to make you feel bad for things you've done in the past.
-Too many sexual jokes before you've had sex.
-Pressures you to do anything you're uncomfortable with. ANYTHING. This is a red flag because it shows he doesn't really care about your feelings or anything besides what he wants and needs. Potential rapist.
-Is unwilling to do new things/has a meltdown if plans go awry. I sympathize with this, as I realize it's generally a neurological thing, but I personally can't deal with it. There are many more patient people than me, so if this describes you, ignore me.
-Bad mouths his mom. I would make an exception for someone I got to know somewhat before discussion of childhoods occurred. But then again, people don't generally bring up their drug-addicted child-beating jailbird moms on the first date.
-Brings up a mutual female friend several times on the first "date". That one's self-explanatory, right?
-Wants to stay home and be taken care of. I know there are women in this world for whom a stay-at-home dad is ideal, but I don't ever see myself making the kind of bank it takes for that to happen, yet I keep meeting men like this.
-Is sexist/defends sexist behavior and media. Same with racist behavior and media. Any man who needs to feel like he's above someone by virtue of his birth is horribly insecure (and probably for good reason, since he ain't worth ####).

I'm currently single and currently not looking. One bad marriage was more than enough.

This is a good list that I'd totally agree with for me. Thankfully I'm married now, but I met a lot of guys with many of these traits while I was dating and it wasn't good.

@orangesmartie, to bake a single cookie, you'll need some liquid eggs (the carton kind, you know - either whites or whole ones depending on how tight your calorie limit is.) Then it's super easy:

Cream 15g butter (or [light] margarine, again, if your limit is tight) and 25g sugar (you can mix with half Splenda if you're into that too) in a bowl, then add 15ml liquid eggs and a splash of vanilla and mix again. Add 20g flour, 3g baking powder (for cakelike cookies) or baking soda (for flatter, chewier cookies), a pinch of salt, and a few chocolate chips (or whatever else you want to throw in there - instead of chocolate chips sometimes I do cinnamon and nutmeg) and mix until just combined, then put it on a pan and bake at 175C for about 8 minutes. You can also take away about 5g of the flour and add 10g cocoa powder if you want double chocolate cookies. So easy.

@kellyjellybellyjelly, I'm not really a big "North-American" pizza person, apart from Spicy Perogy pizza and the occasional slice of donair pizza, but I love most Italian-style thin crust ones. There's a local place that makes incredible pizzas in this style that I'm obsessed with, especially one with fire roasted garlic prawns, fior di latte,
sriracha pesto, fresh basil, and a lemon squeeze, and another with arugula, prosciutto, fior di latte,
charred lemon, shaved pecorino. Oh, and I'm also really, really into one from a smallish Canadian chain that has oven-roasted Brussels sprouts, prosciutto crisps, gorgonzola cheese, dates, walnuts, and a drizzle of honey. It's out of control good.

The lion thing, I am disgusted. I'm not opposed to hunting if you're using what you shoot, but I truthfully think there's something wrong in the head with people who enjoy killing for fun/sport. Not going to start a debate on that or anything, but trophy hunters are just not the kind of people I want to spend my time with or people I have anything in common with.

pofoster21 wrote: »

nonoelmo wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

ShibaEars wrote: »

riderfangal wrote: »

TigerNY128 wrote: »

I spent $250 yesterday on new workout clothes and a new pair of shoes for lifting....totally didn't have the money to spend...but somehow, I don't regret it...

Can one ever regret cute new clothes?

And of course you want to ensure you have proper footwear for your workouts

Exactly! I was quite proud of myself today. When my niece got I'll and our trip got canceled for today (so far tomorrow is still on) I went to my oil changed and stopped at TJMAXX and actually walked out only buying 1 pair of shorts (what I went for) and put the adorable hot pink train running jacket I had picked up and totally didn't need back. Yay me!

Although I will be passing by there again tomorrow...

I love workout clothes.

I'm sorry your trip got canceled for today. I hope all is great tomorrow.

Thanks we are in the car and on the way. Lunch, show, dinner then back to moms. Whew. So at least today should be good!

Yay. Enjoy your day!!

ythannah wrote: »

xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »

I committed to baking a PannuKakku (Finnish dessert like a custardy French toast served with jam) for daycare's cultural potluck on Friday. I love it. I will have to resist the urge to faceplant in it. I love desserts that aren't super sweet (I will almost always pick a lime/citrus/nut something or other over caramel bc I'm weird like that) but I don't usually eat desserts (which is weird for a baker, I know). I eat like 1/2 a Hershey's mini and I'm good lol. I'll actually eat 2 tbsp. of homemade nut butter (I make mine without sugar) before a brownie.

Are you Finnish?

I ask because the SO is and Finn pancakes are often a supper meal at our home. He's never mentioned or produced that dessert, however... surprising, considering his sweet tooth.

He's a total Finn food snob, lol. He sneers at the fundraiser Pulla I occasionally buy, saying it's nowhere as good as his mum's.

I do make a pretty good Karelian pastry with egg butter and I like making Lihamojakka (beef stew). I think the trick to the egg butter is fresh chives. I've made it with dried and it's not as good.

ythannah wrote: »

kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »

Sounds like an awesome day! What's everyone's favorite pizza?

Mine is either plain cheese, pizza with cheeseburger, sausage, & mushrooms, or pineapple pizza.

Shockingly, my all-time favourite is Pizza Hut Meat Lover's with added feta. Total sodium bomb, however.

I can eat meat as pizza topping because it's normally processed way beyond any resemblance to meat, in my mind.

Otherwise I tend to favour plain old pepperoni and cheese, or a multi-cheese blend. You'd think veggie pizzas would be a shoe-in for me but they tend to include the dreaded olives or some other vegetable that turns out slimy and weird... this can sometimes happen with mushrooms and tomatoes.

I didn't see this! I love either plain cheese, a good deluxe, or cheese with black and green olives and mushrooms, yuummmm!