The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

@wiigelec, a wise person once said that if two people agree on everything, one of them isn't necessary. Obviously both you and I are necessary. We agree that sobriety is important. As @JenT304 said, I don't think you should have presumed as much as you did regarding my motives or what I needed to be schooled on. However, no hard feelings. This is too valuable a forum to mess up. Peace.

I commiserate on the sleep issues. But the silver lining is that when I go to work after getting only a few hours of sleep, at least I'm not hungover. That makes SUCH a difference. I'm back at work today for the first time since mid-December since some of our kids had COVID over the break. For the first time, I got up early enough to do some meditation before leaving home. That seems to be making a difference in my day. After last week, I am SO glad not to be drinking. It feels incredibly better.

Sleep is a tough one. After decades of using booze to put me to bed every night, I'm still struggling to find a solution that works reliably without it, even after over 600 days free from alcohol. Aging, lack of exercise, lack of sunlight, and various injuries are all contributors, I believe.

Some things that have helped me: reducing screen time well before turning in, getting exercise earlier in the day, spending time outdoors in natural light, giving any OTC pain relievers time to become effective, and sometimes cannabis (indica, not sativa).

Staying asleep -- that's a whole nuther thing!

wiigelec, you and I are the perfect storm. We all have our pasts, our stories. Imagine a little girl with an abusive father who screamed at her and would not tolerate any signs of "weakness" (aka, sincere fear or sadness or uncertainty) or indeed anything short of perfection, straight A's, graduate degrees, etc. Imagine her (grown up now) getting up the courage to admit that she had failed miserably at one of the most important battles of her life and was terribly mad at herself that she got scared and terrified and blew her sobriety. In her experience, letting her slip show could result in catastrophe. Serious catastrophe. Imagine her risking letting it show and encountering support from the wonderful women she's developed trust in for the last few years. Imagine her relief. Imagine then a man her son's age decides to help her out by "slapping her around" and telling her to quit trying to justify her drinking because (as she might not yet know) the world sucks.

We all have our stories. You didn't know mine, and I didn't know yours. I'm not sure how you read my posts as coming from someone who could benefit from a little slapping around, but you did. What you wish someone would have done to you (I assume because you believe such slapping would have helped you) is not necessarily what the next person needs.

So now that we've both shared a little of "where we are coming from" can we please move on with the understanding that the general purpose of this thread is indeed to be supportive and empathic? I'm not saying "tough love" is never appropriate, but sometimes it isn't what is called for, especially when someone has clearly expressed his or her hurt and disappointment in him/herself. For my part, I will try to understand that sometimes what feels like a bully might actually be a charming, funny, and helpful guy. That's hard for me to grasp given my own story. But the fact that I'm writing this rather than dropping out of sight and considering myself "bullied victim, end of story" tells me that I'm trying hard to grow beyond my story. I hope this makes sense at all. I want to say that I do feel empathic toward you because you've explained some of your own backstory. And I also want to declare (probably really to my dad) that I have a right to express vulnerability and weakness without fear of being shamed for it.

No worries. I'm glad you didn't hit delete. It was a good learning experience for me. As I said . . . person for whom perceived weakness pushes buttons meets person for whom perceived bullying pushes buttons equals perfect storm. I think there may be a Lifetime movie in this. I'm an aspiring screenwriter so who knows? Thanks, @wiigelec.

Everybody have a good day. Guess what! Today is my new Day 5, so I get to go back to rewards every 5 days. Mocha latte, here I come!

Went scrapbooking with three ladies this weekend. Last night, they made beautiful old fashioned drinks and pear vodka was on the counter the whole time. I watched the vodka level shrink as the day wore on. I still stayed the course. They did shots over me and clinked their glasses. I think my sobriety muscle grew enormously. I could have caved at any minute but I didn't. Boy, I wanted to have an old fashioned. Sigh.

My one friend drank several drinks and talked non-stop. OMG it was getting on my nerves because we were in a small room, so I just had to listen to the same stories over and over. She woke up this morning feeling dizzy, she said.

I woke up refreshed and worked out.
The sacrifices we make at night are well worth it in the morning.

@RubyRed427, you are a rock star!!

I've been doing really well. Day 10 since nightmare relapse. Oddly enough, my biggest temptation came tonight (last night now) when I was watching the wonderful Masterpiece Theatre "All Creatures Great and Small" (a great stress reliever in these troubled times, along with the preceding Masterpiece Mystery "Miss Scarlet and the Duke). Anyway, there was a cozy scene of two characters innocently playing some board game and each drinking a small, civilized glass of sherry. That looked so good. When I lived in Edinburgh, I loved it when someone would offer a glass of sherry (and at that time, just one was good enough for me). I had to talk myself down by reminding myself that those days of the innocent one little glass are long gone. But I fixed a grapefruit juice and tonic with lime and was soon fine. My go-to tactic at the moment is "Playing that movie to the end," and the end is not pretty.

My good friend and next-door-neighbor who is 7 years sober said during these last weeks she has had to fight cravings like she hasn't in years. I firmly don't believe we are doomed to a lifetime of daily battles. If I thought that, I think I might just go ahead and drink. However, it is enlightening to learn that those from-time-to-time cravings can evidently strike out of the blue no matter how long it's been. Good to know. Good for your sister, @RubyRed427. I'm sure it's nice that she now has you as someone who can completely relate.