Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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berlynnwall wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »
Thanks for the replies guys. This is why my heart is broken and I've been so (BEYOND) depressed lately. I haven't talked to him since last Sunday. I have cried every day.
I did the bad thing and checked on his phone because he's been so secretive (I was able to guess the password). I saw a lot of things that I never wanted to see.
I love him so I'm struggling with my feelings right now. I know most people can't change but maybe therapy? I don't know. I am in that strange place where I don't want to be without him but I don't want to be with him if he can't change.
Sorry to complain. I feel like it's cheating too since it's a violation of trust and he is being inappropriate. We are going to meet up Friday to talk. This is the guy I've been with for almost 11 years.
I would be pissed, like I said in my last post, I would want to freak out.....
I have read a lot of the posts that say it is a deal breaker, and while some people feel that way, I do not always think it is that easy.
If it is some guy you have been with a few months or something, of course, get out right away. But if it is someone you have been with for many years and otherwise the relationship is good and this is not repeat behavior, IMO you really have to decide if it is something worth throwing the whole relationship out.
I know this might not be a popular opinion, but I do not believe the monogamy is natural for humans. Most animals are not monogamous. Even if you are doing your best to be monogamous, sometimes you become drawn to something you cannot control.
I am a firm believer that some people will always cheat, and some people may never, but given the right set of circumstances EVERYONE is capable of cheating. Ever see the movie Unfaithful? Perfect example.
I actually agree with you that people are not naturally monogamous. But unless both sides are aware and have a agreement to behave or think openly about that, sexting or carrying on a affair is cheating. You are breaking an agreement between 2 people to have a singular and committed relationship, and you are hiding this fact from the other person in the relationship. That is what I object to. If you need the rules of the relationship changed, you need a discussion with your partner and they either agree or don't agree. Sneaking around behind someone's back is always wrong.
I am not disagreeing, I consider it cheating as well. My point was that it is really hard for most people to be monogamous because it is unnatural, so if it is an otherwise great relationship and this is a one time occurrence after a decade, is it really worth losing that?
A lot of people struggle their whole lives to be monogamous because that is what society accepts, and sometimes, even though that is our intent, we fail.
Sorry, I was to edit this for spelling and also to add something but my phone was being stupid....so now I am on the laptop...
I wanted to add that I was only trying to show the other side of all the posts that say it is a deal breaker 100%, because IMO it is not always. You have to look at the big picture.
I think that is fair. Other posters said the same thing along the lines of if he is truly remorseful and you can forgive, then maybe you can move past it. Its possible. But I wouldn't want to stay in a relationship where trust was gone and could never be restored. But like most things in life, everything is individual so each person in the end has to make the decision that is right for them.
I agree. A few people said that if she stays she should insist on full rights to check his phone, internet, pockets etc. I feel like I need to say this, and it's not necessarily 100% related to your post so I apologize. I just want to caution people in this situation that that is no way to live. It is exhausting and if you think about it, what is the outcome? Either you drive yourself crazy looking for proof that they are lying and you get so focused on that that you lose the love you had for them, or you find the proof you wanted and you have lost all trust and intimacy and the love you had for them. If it's to a point where you feel like you have to search your partner for contraband, I'm sorry, but that relationship is over.
THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS! Sorry to yell, but this is a very important point.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »I am totally judging on a female that keeps posting threads with fitness model pictures and says she wants to look like them, but she has 140 pounds to lose! I want to go tell her that she is setting herself up for failure. Baby steps, honey, baby steps!
But I don't think that would be well received.
I responded to a similar thread yesterday and said she was "putting the cart before the horse" but then people responded with "what's wrong with having goals?!". Ugh. Never mind. Balance and perspective people, that's all I was saying.0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »So, I don't know if anyone remembers my wedding drama from way back in April*, but the short story is that my "best friend" would rather never talk to me again that work out our issues. I feel like I've broken up with a spouse. She and I have been friends longer than I've known my husband. I don't even really understand how she got this mad, and she won't tell me. And that is why I'm taking the Boo Radley challenge (not really, but I'm very sad).
*Cliff notes: She was helping me plan, I decided to elope for many valid reasons, she couldn't make it, she felt I cut her out.
I remember that. I'm sorry your friend still won't talk to you so you can hash it out, whatever it is.
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quiksylver296 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »I have an interview with a recruiter after work today, who does not seem to be working with the sort of companies/positions that I'm really aiming for. I'm going mostly as a "refresher" on the whole interview experience. Does that make me a jerk?
I think we've debated this before? And the answer was a resounding, NO! Get your practice in.
Yep, that's exactly what I was going to say, too. I think it's always important to keep up your interviewing skills.0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »pearso21123 wrote: »I just finished reading the "You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?" thread and now am feeling very grateful for my friends and family. I have only had good comments about my weight loss, so far. Of course, I still have a long ways to go. But man, reading that thread made me realize how rude and unsupportive some people are.
I first got down to my normal weight nearly 20 years ago. I went from around 500 to around 175. People who didn't recognize me treated me completely differently than they did when I was big. I got smiles and courtesy, doors held open - and I don't mean flirting, it was men and women, any ages, the way they treated me was night and day. People who were absolutely cold and wouldn't acknowledge me before would go out of their way to say hi.
Overall, I'd say that had a far bigger impact on me than the random "you need to eat a hot pocket" type comments I'd get once in a while. I'm very distrustful of people in general, now. It takes a very long time before I decide if they're actually a nice person, or if they're a "nice as long as you fit my cookie cutter mold" person. Outside of some dysfunctional family relationships, most of the comments like those in that thread will stop after people get used to seeing the smaller version of the person, but the really rude and unsupportive people are far more subtle.
I've noticed that too, in the opposite direction. I used to be in great shape and everyone wanted to talk to me and hang out. Now I'm in not so great shape and it's like I'm invisible. People are awful.
Sometimes I feel like this:
This makes me sad I'd be your friend!
Me too.
Same here! Get out there and live it up! Life is short. Enjoy and celebrate YOU regardless of the current or past size of your "shell".0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »So, I don't know if anyone remembers my wedding drama from way back in April*, but the short story is that my "best friend" would rather never talk to me again that work out our issues. I feel like I've broken up with a spouse. She and I have been friends longer than I've known my husband. I don't even really understand how she got this mad, and she won't tell me. And that is why I'm taking the Boo Radley challenge (not really, but I'm very sad).
*Cliff notes: She was helping me plan, I decided to elope for many valid reasons, she couldn't make it, she felt I cut her out.
I remember that. It always stinks to lose a friendship. It was your day.
Also, never loan money to a friend. I have been without one of my best friends for years because I loaned her something like $600 in 2004 (which I never saw again, even though she took her kids to Cancun with her tax refund a few months after the loan). Honestly, I don't even care about that money. We've been trying to rebuild the friendship over the past couple of years, and it's been really tough - even harder because I don't live in the same town anymore.0 -
Whenever I email/text my gym partner, EVERY response I get from her starts with "haha". I'm all for throwing in a laugh here and there, but not every reply needs it. And it's always in the same place.
Trivial, I know.0 -
raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »@pofoster21, I love the photo! You two look great together and she's a beautiful horse.
Tupperware: my mom bought me some of the real stuff when I first moved out (eleven years ago?) and I loved it and used it constantly...until one of my roommates melted a bunch of the lids somehow. I think I might have cried. It was almost as bad as the time our current roommate broke the glass bowl for my KitchenAid. He had to go to the ER because it cut him up so badly so I couldn't be mad at him, but still. So sad.
Now I only buy glass "tupperware"-type containers though, no plastic, because I'm paranoid about getting it clean otherwise. I hate plastic anything for food - glass, stainless, ceramic all day for me. Again...total clean freak over here.
I would love to buy the glass ones, because the plastic ones stain so badly when I put anything containing tomatoes/tomato sauce/tomato paste in them. :-/ Also, they tend to take on the smell of stuff like garlic and onions, and it's hard to scrub the smell out. -_-
The main problem is that I'm EXTREMELY clumsy, and anything glass is bound to be very short-lived in my house, so I really can't do that. I'm so jealous of people who can have glass dishes and those oh-so-pretty delicate porcelain teacups and... and... *cries from envy*
Fun fact: Whenever my husband hears a bang from another room, he calls out... "What did you break this time?" And if he DOESN'T hear any bangs, he comes to check if I'm okay because it's too quiet...
I'm actually missing part of my pad on my left pinky due to an unfortunate mandolin slicer incident.
Cringing. I get so nervous any time I use my mandolin...for this exact reason! 0 -
Last night, the hubby and I split a pizza for dinner then went to Bruster's where I had a waffle cone. I decided to hold off on breakfast this morning until I'm hungry for it. It's 12:20pm and my breakfast still hasn't been touched. Perhaps pizza and ice cream should be spread out across more than one night the next time...0
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Whenever I email/text my gym partner, EVERY response I get from her starts with "haha". I'm all for throwing in a laugh here and there, but not every reply needs it. And it's always in the same place.
Trivial, I know.
No, I get this way with people and their "lol"..NOT NECESSARY AFTER EVERY SENTENCE! Phew, pardon the yelling but I had to get that one out. I don't think I've "lol'd" since I was 14.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Make lists. Check things off. Seriously - best way to get anything done.raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »So today my husband comes home - he's currently on an away a week/home a week work schedule. Needless to say I'll be busy today trying to look like I've completely done ALL the jobs I planned to do when he was away, clean the house etc etc.
He's not a tyrant in any way, but because I'm not working at the moment, I think it's my job to do everything around the house so that he doesn't have to be concerned about it. I always feel like I need to have something to show for my free time - 'Look at this clean house!' or 'I did the garden!' or 'Here, I single handedly sanded and stained this big-@ss deck! Be pleased with me!'
Got any tips for others? Lol! I probably have to be the worst housewife ever, I seriously suck at it.
I love checking things off of my to-do list so much that if I've delayed and made the list after doing half of my chores, I'll still write those down just so I can check them off and feel accomplished.
I do this too!0 -
Whenever I email/text my gym partner, EVERY response I get from her starts with "haha". I'm all for throwing in a laugh here and there, but not every reply needs it. And it's always in the same place.
Trivial, I know.
I am guilty of overusing the 'LOL'. I don't know why I do it; it's like a compulsion.0 -
I'm back! You people have been very talkative during my week away! I will never catch up on the 100+ pages I am behind now. I think I will just stay in the present and maybe try to read a page a day back there or something. I had a fabulous time in the Bahamas.0
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TigerNY128 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Last time I stayed at a hotel, I took some of the little cups of peanut butter from the continental breakfast. I'm eating one now, with a spoon, as a snack.
Thief! Just kidding. That is a fabulous idea! I buy the little pre portioned cups of hummus so I don't have to weigh it out. It's WAY more expensive, but my time is precious and I don't want to spend it weighing out a really sad amount of hummus.
No judgement, but store-bought hummus is sad no matter what size or form it comes in!
You can never beat homemade hummus. In fact, I just had some that I made a couple of days ago for dinner with Iranian-style kabab kubbideh! Yum.
I've been meaning to make hummus for weeks, but I'm worried that I will eat the entire batch in a week three days.
I usually just make enough for 8 very small servings (like enough to spread on a kabab/chicken sandwich) or two big fat servings (that would make up a whole meal) or four medium servings (enough for a side dish). All that to say that I make about 500 grams of it at a time. Heh.
Confession: I'm just really super fed-up with myself. Ever since I've started "slipping" I've basically been tightening my "restriction" belt more and more and more. Baking ingredients? Banned from the house. Sweets? Banned from the house. Butter? Banned. Sugar? Banned. And yet, I still manage to mess up, because I'm just that awesome. And you know what? I'm sick of it.
I told my husband last night that if I keep this up, we're not going to have any food left in the house at all soon. :-/ The last straw for me was when I slipped up (2000+ calories over maintenance) because of trying to bake something (out of desperation) with a bunch of substitutes that tasted NASTY, and it turned out that I could have had the same amount of the real stuff for much less calories than that... It's like I just keep on baking because baking is "bad" (and yet I really love baking) and so tempting to do because I feel like I can't ever do it again if I'm being "good".
So you know what I did? I threw out everything I've been doing for these last few months. Everything. I went out and I bought flour, sugars, butter, baking powder, chocolate, and then I baked a big ole batch of chocolate chip cookies. I now have a freezer full of cookies and two big bags of chocolate chips and a whole bunch of ingredients to bake more WHENEVER I WANT. And that feels freeing.
I did slip up eat more cookies than I intended to yesterday, BUT I didn't eat the whole tray like I did every single time before this because "I have to finish these so I won't mess up again tomorrow!". Well, it's tomorrow now. There are still plenty of cookies. And there will be plenty the day after too. And I don't need to have one right now, because I can have one later. And that feels freeing, too.
Will this work? I really have absolutely no idea. But I'm really, really, really sick of all this "forbidden" and "good" and "bad" and not being able to bake. So I'm throwing everything out of the window and starting over again. Send me good vibes?
Sorry for the novel.
I completely agree with this. If you constantly are thinking about the "bad" foods you've banned from your diet, they're the only foods you want. I totally believe in moderation.
Ditto! I have been on restrictive diets, and it just led to binging. Now I eat whatever I want as long as it fits into my net calories. And its been much more effective. I have cut food out (like Hummus and Guacamole) simply because it has too many calories, not because its 'bad' or 'fattening'. So no craving. And zero binging.0 -
TigerNY128 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Last time I stayed at a hotel, I took some of the little cups of peanut butter from the continental breakfast. I'm eating one now, with a spoon, as a snack.
Thief! Just kidding. That is a fabulous idea! I buy the little pre portioned cups of hummus so I don't have to weigh it out. It's WAY more expensive, but my time is precious and I don't want to spend it weighing out a really sad amount of hummus.
No judgement, but store-bought hummus is sad no matter what size or form it comes in! You can never beat homemade hummus. In fact, I just had some that I made a couple of days ago for dinner with Iranian-style kabab kubbideh! Yum.
I've been meaning to make hummus for weeks, but I'm worried that I will eat the entire batch in a week three days.
I usually just make enough for 8 very small servings (like enough to spread on a kabab/chicken sandwich) or two big fat servings (that would make up a whole meal) or four medium servings (enough for a side dish). All that to say that I make about 500 grams of it at a time. Heh.
Confession: I'm just really super fed-up with myself. Ever since I've started "slipping" I've basically been tightening my "restriction" belt more and more and more. Baking ingredients? Banned from the house. Sweets? Banned from the house. Butter? Banned. Sugar? Banned. And yet, I still manage to mess up, because I'm just that awesome. And you know what? I'm sick of it.
I told my husband last night that if I keep this up, we're not going to have any food left in the house at all soon. :-/ The last straw for me was when I slipped up (2000+ calories over maintenance) because of trying to bake something (out of desperation) with a bunch of substitutes that tasted NASTY, and it turned out that I could have had the same amount of the real stuff for much less calories than that... It's like I just keep on baking because baking is "bad" (and yet I really love baking) and so tempting to do because I feel like I can't ever do it again if I'm being "good".
So you know what I did? I threw out everything I've been doing for these last few months. Everything. I went out and I bought flour, sugars, butter, baking powder, chocolate, and then I baked a big ole batch of chocolate chip cookies. I now have a freezer full of cookies and two big bags of chocolate chips and a whole bunch of ingredients to bake more WHENEVER I WANT. And that feels freeing.
I did slip up eat more cookies than I intended to yesterday, BUT I didn't eat the whole tray like I did every single time before this because "I have to finish these so I won't mess up again tomorrow!". Well, it's tomorrow now. There are still plenty of cookies. And there will be plenty the day after too. And I don't need to have one right now, because I can have one later. And that feels freeing, too.
Will this work? I really have absolutely no idea. But I'm really, really, really sick of all this "forbidden" and "good" and "bad" and not being able to bake. So I'm throwing everything out of the window and starting over again. Send me good vibes?
Sorry for the novel.
I completely agree with this. If you constantly are thinking about the "bad" foods you've banned from your diet, they're the only foods you want. I totally believe in moderation.
Ditto! I have been on restrictive diets, and it just led to binging. Now I eat whatever I want as long as it fits into my net calories. And its been much more effective. I have cut food out (like Hummus and Guacamole) simply because it has too many calories, not because its 'bad' or 'fattening'. So no craving. And zero binging.0 -
I'm picking a bit of a fight over here.
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10184258/what-food-am-i-suppose-to-eat0 -
rungirl1973 wrote: »So, I think I need to update my MFP profile. I recently lost a couple of friends who were pretty active on here after getting some inappropriate PMs from them. I'm not here for a date! Really.
Ewww. I agree.
I got something like that day 2 or so here. It helped convince me to use a non me photo. I think I have mentioned I really don't like that kind of attention (friendly is great but more than friendly not great) from any man unless I have already decided that I want to date him. My SO is just right for me thus I don't want any other man to make any moves in that direction.0 -
AngryViking1970 wrote: »Whenever I email/text my gym partner, EVERY response I get from her starts with "haha". I'm all for throwing in a laugh here and there, but not every reply needs it. And it's always in the same place.
Trivial, I know.
I am guilty of overusing the 'LOL'. I don't know why I do it; it's like a compulsion.
When somebody texts me something that is even a little funny but doesn't need a response, I am guilty of the LOL response. Even if I didn't literally LOL (which I actually do on the regular).0 -
kelly_c_77 wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »@pofoster21, I love the photo! You two look great together and she's a beautiful horse.
Tupperware: my mom bought me some of the real stuff when I first moved out (eleven years ago?) and I loved it and used it constantly...until one of my roommates melted a bunch of the lids somehow. I think I might have cried. It was almost as bad as the time our current roommate broke the glass bowl for my KitchenAid. He had to go to the ER because it cut him up so badly so I couldn't be mad at him, but still. So sad.
Now I only buy glass "tupperware"-type containers though, no plastic, because I'm paranoid about getting it clean otherwise. I hate plastic anything for food - glass, stainless, ceramic all day for me. Again...total clean freak over here.
I would love to buy the glass ones, because the plastic ones stain so badly when I put anything containing tomatoes/tomato sauce/tomato paste in them. :-/ Also, they tend to take on the smell of stuff like garlic and onions, and it's hard to scrub the smell out. -_-
The main problem is that I'm EXTREMELY clumsy, and anything glass is bound to be very short-lived in my house, so I really can't do that. I'm so jealous of people who can have glass dishes and those oh-so-pretty delicate porcelain teacups and... and... *cries from envy*
Fun fact: Whenever my husband hears a bang from another room, he calls out... "What did you break this time?" And if he DOESN'T hear any bangs, he comes to check if I'm okay because it's too quiet...
I'm actually missing part of my pad on my left pinky due to an unfortunate mandolin slicer incident.
Cringing. I get so nervous any time I use my mandolin...for this exact reason!
I only use my mandoline with the guard/food holder thing because I can't be trusted with it. I'm decent with knife cuts so I don't use it often though. But I bought a new box grater last week and the first time I used it I grated the eff out of my thumb...I'm pretty clumsy with stuff like that too.
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