Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
Replies
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »And woot! I stepped on the scale today and my body finally released the stupid 2-4 lbs of water (it varied) it held on to for this past week and even gave me another -1 lb for my wait.
So now I'm down 17 pounds. With another 23 lbs to go until goal. That makes me feel awesome.
I've been feeling kind of grumpy/crabby/exhausted the last few days so I went to bed at 8 pm last night after I put both my kids to bed. It felt AMAZING to sleep for 10 hours. I used to average 4-5 hrs/night.
So this is going to sound weird, but every time I get a lot of sleep I always am lighter in the AM. Its weird.
I have a friend who didn't lose weight for WEEKS and she was getting discouraged, but when she started getting more than 3-4 hours of sleep per night, she dropped about three kilos over the next week or so. It may sound odd, but the amount of rest we get almost always affects weight loss. If I haven't slept well the day before a weigh-in, it's generally not a pretty number.
Solid, consistent sleep is imperative for the body to heal, re-energize and adapt. I think lack of sleep contributes to a lot of health issues.0 -
Whenever I email/text my gym partner, EVERY response I get from her starts with "haha". I'm all for throwing in a laugh here and there, but not every reply needs it. And it's always in the same place.
Trivial, I know.
No, I get this way with people and their "lol"..NOT NECESSARY AFTER EVERY SENTENCE! Phew, pardon the yelling but I had to get that one out. I don't think I've "lol'd" since I was 14.AngryViking1970 wrote: »Whenever I email/text my gym partner, EVERY response I get from her starts with "haha". I'm all for throwing in a laugh here and there, but not every reply needs it. And it's always in the same place.
Trivial, I know.
I am guilty of overusing the 'LOL'. I don't know why I do it; it's like a compulsion.
I probably overuse "LOL" as well. But I try not to use it after each sentence, and will edit if I feel I've used it too many times. When she replies with her "haha" half the time it's not even because something was funny.0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »
Thanks for the replies guys. This is why my heart is broken and I've been so (BEYOND) depressed lately. I haven't talked to him since last Sunday. I have cried every day.
I did the bad thing and checked on his phone because he's been so secretive (I was able to guess the password). I saw a lot of things that I never wanted to see.
I love him so I'm struggling with my feelings right now. I know most people can't change but maybe therapy? I don't know. I am in that strange place where I don't want to be without him but I don't want to be with him if he can't change.
Sorry to complain. I feel like it's cheating too since it's a violation of trust and he is being inappropriate. We are going to meet up Friday to talk. This is the guy I've been with for almost 11 years.
I would be pissed, like I said in my last post, I would want to freak out.....
I have read a lot of the posts that say it is a deal breaker, and while some people feel that way, I do not always think it is that easy.
If it is some guy you have been with a few months or something, of course, get out right away. But if it is someone you have been with for many years and otherwise the relationship is good and this is not repeat behavior, IMO you really have to decide if it is something worth throwing the whole relationship out.
I know this might not be a popular opinion, but I do not believe the monogamy is natural for humans. Most animals are not monogamous. Even if you are doing your best to be monogamous, sometimes you become drawn to something you cannot control.
I am a firm believer that some people will always cheat, and some people may never, but given the right set of circumstances EVERYONE is capable of cheating. Ever see the movie Unfaithful? Perfect example.
I actually agree with you that people are not naturally monogamous. But unless both sides are aware and have a agreement to behave or think openly about that, sexting or carrying on a affair is cheating. You are breaking an agreement between 2 people to have a singular and committed relationship, and you are hiding this fact from the other person in the relationship. That is what I object to. If you need the rules of the relationship changed, you need a discussion with your partner and they either agree or don't agree. Sneaking around behind someone's back is always wrong.
I am not disagreeing, I consider it cheating as well. My point was that it is really hard for most people to be monogamous because it is unnatural, so if it is an otherwise great relationship and this is a one time occurrence after a decade, is it really worth losing that?
A lot of people struggle their whole lives to be monogamous because that is what society accepts, and sometimes, even though that is our intent, we fail.
Sorry, I was to edit this for spelling and also to add something but my phone was being stupid....so now I am on the laptop...
I wanted to add that I was only trying to show the other side of all the posts that say it is a deal breaker 100%, because IMO it is not always. You have to look at the big picture.
I think that is fair. Other posters said the same thing along the lines of if he is truly remorseful and you can forgive, then maybe you can move past it. Its possible. But I wouldn't want to stay in a relationship where trust was gone and could never be restored. But like most things in life, everything is individual so each person in the end has to make the decision that is right for them.
I agree. A few people said that if she stays she should insist on full rights to check his phone, internet, pockets etc. I feel like I need to say this, and it's not necessarily 100% related to your post so I apologize. I just want to caution people in this situation that that is no way to live. It is exhausting and if you think about it, what is the outcome? Either you drive yourself crazy looking for proof that they are lying and you get so focused on that that you lose the love you had for them, or you find the proof you wanted and you have lost all trust and intimacy and the love you had for them. If it's to a point where you feel like you have to search your partner for contraband, I'm sorry, but that relationship is over.
THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS! Sorry to yell, but this is a very important point.
I think it's important too. Unfortunately, I think this is the type of thing that people have to experience on their own before they get that it's a waste of time. I've actually had women tell me that I'm naive and "asking to be cheated on" because I don't invade my husband's privacy constantly. Nope x10000000 -
Will_Run_for_Food wrote: »I was craving something sweet the other night but had absolutely nothing in the house that would satisfy me except some hot chocolate. So I ate two spoonfuls of the powder. Two spoonfuls. Of the powder.
I have done the same thing, also with the chocolate nesquick powder, even when I could have just made chocolate milk. Both are dangerously delicious.
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berlynnwall wrote: »So, I don't know if anyone remembers my wedding drama from way back in April*, but the short story is that my "best friend" would rather never talk to me again that work out our issues. I feel like I've broken up with a spouse. She and I have been friends longer than I've known my husband. I don't even really understand how she got this mad, and she won't tell me. And that is why I'm taking the Boo Radley challenge (not really, but I'm very sad).
*Cliff notes: She was helping me plan, I decided to elope for many valid reasons, she couldn't make it, she felt I cut her out.
Well, now that's ridiculous! It's on HER to express her feelings to you. Eloping was your and your husbands choice only. Best friend / BFF whatever. She should know that she doesn't have preference over your wedding choices! Ugh. Sorry you're dealing with that, but this is her problem, not yours.0 -
AngryViking1970 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »So, I don't know if anyone remembers my wedding drama from way back in April*, but the short story is that my "best friend" would rather never talk to me again that work out our issues. I feel like I've broken up with a spouse. She and I have been friends longer than I've known my husband. I don't even really understand how she got this mad, and she won't tell me. And that is why I'm taking the Boo Radley challenge (not really, but I'm very sad).
*Cliff notes: She was helping me plan, I decided to elope for many valid reasons, she couldn't make it, she felt I cut her out.
I remember that. I'm sorry your friend still won't talk to you so you can hash it out, whatever it is.
Thank you.0 -
rungirl1973 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »So, I don't know if anyone remembers my wedding drama from way back in April*, but the short story is that my "best friend" would rather never talk to me again that work out our issues. I feel like I've broken up with a spouse. She and I have been friends longer than I've known my husband. I don't even really understand how she got this mad, and she won't tell me. And that is why I'm taking the Boo Radley challenge (not really, but I'm very sad).
*Cliff notes: She was helping me plan, I decided to elope for many valid reasons, she couldn't make it, she felt I cut her out.
I remember that. It always stinks to lose a friendship. It was your day.
Also, never loan money to a friend. I have been without one of my best friends for years because I loaned her something like $600 in 2004 (which I never saw again, even though she took her kids to Cancun with her tax refund a few months after the loan). Honestly, I don't even care about that money. We've been trying to rebuild the friendship over the past couple of years, and it's been really tough - even harder because I don't live in the same town anymore.
Thanks. That is good advice. Nothing good comes from loaning money in my experience.
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rungirl1973 wrote: »So, I think I need to update my MFP profile. I recently lost a couple of friends who were pretty active on here after getting some inappropriate PMs from them. I'm not here for a date! Really.
Ewww. I agree.
I got something like that day 2 or so here. It helped convince me to use a non me photo. I think I have mentioned I really don't like that kind of attention (friendly is great but more than friendly not great) from any man unless I have already decided that I want to date him. My SO is just right for me thus I don't want any other man to make any moves in that direction.
When I was using my picture of me in my purple wig & mask I got a lot more friend requests from guys. Thankfully no one PM'd me anything inappropriate - well, there was one guy who simply put "wow". I didn't reply because, well, how does one reply to that? I don't get the guys who have only women as friends on MFP (or women with just men, if they're out there). Do you really think someone is going to start sending nudes over MFP or something? Maybe some people do, I don't know. I will refrain from judging if someone does, but people won't be getting them from me!
I get fewer friend requests with my dog picture, and that's okay
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Not really a confession but I just have to share.
My baby was super demanding this morning and woke up about 15 minutes earlier than usual which threw off my entire morning. I didn't get a chance to pack my lunch so I had to visit the office cafe for lunch. I chose a pretty responsible lunch but it took EVERYTHING IN ME not to grab a bag of rosemary and olive oil kettle chips. I kept running the numbers over in my head and I couldn't make it fit my deficit so I grabbed a banana with my wrap and left.
I'm proud that I didn't buy the chips but I guess the confession is that I REALLY wanted those chips.0 -
I'm back! You people have been very talkative during my week away! I will never catch up on the 100+ pages I am behind now. I think I will just stay in the present and maybe try to read a page a day back there or something. I had a fabulous time in the Bahamas.
Welcome back, great new picture!
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berlynnwall wrote: »I really love this thread. You guys have helped me through a pretty hard time, and I have seen you help so many other people through hard times as well. People on the internet can be awful, but they can also be great. Best thread ever.
Same here. This thread has affected my life in many ways. All good ways, which is why I struggle so much to keep up. But I have to accept that I cannot. I have to balance it out with real life, but I'll be here for as long as this thread exists!0 -
I'll use that or omg if I don't have an actual response to a text.Whenever I email/text my gym partner, EVERY response I get from her starts with "haha". I'm all for throwing in a laugh here and there, but not every reply needs it. And it's always in the same place.
Trivial, I know.
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berlynnwall wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »
Thanks for the replies guys. This is why my heart is broken and I've been so (BEYOND) depressed lately. I haven't talked to him since last Sunday. I have cried every day.
I did the bad thing and checked on his phone because he's been so secretive (I was able to guess the password). I saw a lot of things that I never wanted to see.
I love him so I'm struggling with my feelings right now. I know most people can't change but maybe therapy? I don't know. I am in that strange place where I don't want to be without him but I don't want to be with him if he can't change.
Sorry to complain. I feel like it's cheating too since it's a violation of trust and he is being inappropriate. We are going to meet up Friday to talk. This is the guy I've been with for almost 11 years.
I would be pissed, like I said in my last post, I would want to freak out.....
I have read a lot of the posts that say it is a deal breaker, and while some people feel that way, I do not always think it is that easy.
If it is some guy you have been with a few months or something, of course, get out right away. But if it is someone you have been with for many years and otherwise the relationship is good and this is not repeat behavior, IMO you really have to decide if it is something worth throwing the whole relationship out.
I know this might not be a popular opinion, but I do not believe the monogamy is natural for humans. Most animals are not monogamous. Even if you are doing your best to be monogamous, sometimes you become drawn to something you cannot control.
I am a firm believer that some people will always cheat, and some people may never, but given the right set of circumstances EVERYONE is capable of cheating. Ever see the movie Unfaithful? Perfect example.
I actually agree with you that people are not naturally monogamous. But unless both sides are aware and have a agreement to behave or think openly about that, sexting or carrying on a affair is cheating. You are breaking an agreement between 2 people to have a singular and committed relationship, and you are hiding this fact from the other person in the relationship. That is what I object to. If you need the rules of the relationship changed, you need a discussion with your partner and they either agree or don't agree. Sneaking around behind someone's back is always wrong.
I am not disagreeing, I consider it cheating as well. My point was that it is really hard for most people to be monogamous because it is unnatural, so if it is an otherwise great relationship and this is a one time occurrence after a decade, is it really worth losing that?
A lot of people struggle their whole lives to be monogamous because that is what society accepts, and sometimes, even though that is our intent, we fail.
Sorry, I was to edit this for spelling and also to add something but my phone was being stupid....so now I am on the laptop...
I wanted to add that I was only trying to show the other side of all the posts that say it is a deal breaker 100%, because IMO it is not always. You have to look at the big picture.
I think that is fair. Other posters said the same thing along the lines of if he is truly remorseful and you can forgive, then maybe you can move past it. Its possible. But I wouldn't want to stay in a relationship where trust was gone and could never be restored. But like most things in life, everything is individual so each person in the end has to make the decision that is right for them.
I agree. A few people said that if she stays she should insist on full rights to check his phone, internet, pockets etc. I feel like I need to say this, and it's not necessarily 100% related to your post so I apologize. I just want to caution people in this situation that that is no way to live. It is exhausting and if you think about it, what is the outcome? Either you drive yourself crazy looking for proof that they are lying and you get so focused on that that you lose the love you had for them, or you find the proof you wanted and you have lost all trust and intimacy and the love you had for them. If it's to a point where you feel like you have to search your partner for contraband, I'm sorry, but that relationship is over.
I agree 100% with this, but for one itty bitty factor: I caught a guy I was dating having an online relationship on the side. I freaked out and he swore he'd never do it again. He thereafter put passwords on ALL of his electronic devices. I then dumped him promptly. If he hadn't put passwords on all of his devices/acted suspiciously, I probably would have given us more of a shot, but the fact that he reacted to being caught cheating with more secrecy was all the proof I needed that he had no intention of changing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's not necessarily about constantly checking up or looking over your shoulder or being suspicious, it's about whether he's being honest and forthright and open. I know other people probably aren't looking at it from that point of view, but that's where I'm coming from.0 -
I'm back! You people have been very talkative during my week away! I will never catch up on the 100+ pages I am behind now. I think I will just stay in the present and maybe try to read a page a day back there or something. I had a fabulous time in the Bahamas.
WELCOME BACK! Love the new picture!!0 -
Amazing. Nice new pic!I'm back! You people have been very talkative during my week away! I will never catch up on the 100+ pages I am behind now. I think I will just stay in the present and maybe try to read a page a day back there or something. I had a fabulous time in the Bahamas.
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Whenever I email/text my gym partner, EVERY response I get from her starts with "haha". I'm all for throwing in a laugh here and there, but not every reply needs it. And it's always in the same place.
Trivial, I know.
No, I get this way with people and their "lol"..NOT NECESSARY AFTER EVERY SENTENCE! Phew, pardon the yelling but I had to get that one out. I don't think I've "lol'd" since I was 14.
So annoying. I read somewhere that "LOL" is the really, "I have nothing else to say. I'd like to end this conversation, but don't know how to do it." Ironic that in spite of constant interaction with others conversation and communication skills in general have not improved.0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »So, I don't know if anyone remembers my wedding drama from way back in April*, but the short story is that my "best friend" would rather never talk to me again that work out our issues. I feel like I've broken up with a spouse. She and I have been friends longer than I've known my husband. I don't even really understand how she got this mad, and she won't tell me. And that is why I'm taking the Boo Radley challenge (not really, but I'm very sad).
*Cliff notes: She was helping me plan, I decided to elope for many valid reasons, she couldn't make it, she felt I cut her out.
Well, now that's ridiculous! It's on HER to express her feelings to you. Eloping was your and your husbands choice only. Best friend / BFF whatever. She should know that she doesn't have preference over your wedding choices! Ugh. Sorry you're dealing with that, but this is her problem, not yours.
Thank you. I am very disappointed that she is going with the passive aggressive silent treatment rather than being an adult and talking it out with me. I definitely told her how I felt about the situation and sincerely apologized for hurting her feelings. Oh well. I feel like I've done the right thing on my end.
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kelly_c_77 wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »@pofoster21, I love the photo! You two look great together and she's a beautiful horse.
Tupperware: my mom bought me some of the real stuff when I first moved out (eleven years ago?) and I loved it and used it constantly...until one of my roommates melted a bunch of the lids somehow. I think I might have cried. It was almost as bad as the time our current roommate broke the glass bowl for my KitchenAid. He had to go to the ER because it cut him up so badly so I couldn't be mad at him, but still. So sad.
Now I only buy glass "tupperware"-type containers though, no plastic, because I'm paranoid about getting it clean otherwise. I hate plastic anything for food - glass, stainless, ceramic all day for me. Again...total clean freak over here.
I would love to buy the glass ones, because the plastic ones stain so badly when I put anything containing tomatoes/tomato sauce/tomato paste in them. :-/ Also, they tend to take on the smell of stuff like garlic and onions, and it's hard to scrub the smell out. -_-
The main problem is that I'm EXTREMELY clumsy, and anything glass is bound to be very short-lived in my house, so I really can't do that. I'm so jealous of people who can have glass dishes and those oh-so-pretty delicate porcelain teacups and... and... *cries from envy*
Fun fact: Whenever my husband hears a bang from another room, he calls out... "What did you break this time?" And if he DOESN'T hear any bangs, he comes to check if I'm okay because it's too quiet...
I'm actually missing part of my pad on my left pinky due to an unfortunate mandolin slicer incident.
Cringing. I get so nervous any time I use my mandolin...for this exact reason!
I only use my mandoline with the guard/food holder thing because I can't be trusted with it. I'm decent with knife cuts so I don't use it often though. But I bought a new box grater last week and the first time I used it I grated the eff out of my thumb...I'm pretty clumsy with stuff like that too.
Every time I grate cheese I'm pretty sure I end up with a bit of fingernail in it
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Cool! Definitely looking into that! Thanks!berlynnwall wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »So today my husband comes home - he's currently on an away a week/home a week work schedule. Needless to say I'll be busy today trying to look like I've completely done ALL the jobs I planned to do when he was away, clean the house etc etc.
He's not a tyrant in any way, but because I'm not working at the moment, I think it's my job to do everything around the house so that he doesn't have to be concerned about it. I always feel like I need to have something to show for my free time - 'Look at this clean house!' or 'I did the garden!' or 'Here, I single handedly sanded and stained this big-@ss deck! Be pleased with me!'
Got any tips for others? Lol! I probably have to be the worst housewife ever, I seriously suck at it.
ETA: It's to the point hubby calls me when he's headed home, just to give me a heads up to get dinner started and clean up. Usually he's an hour or so away, so then it's a mad scramble to make it look like I've actually done something. Sigh, I hope the doctors office is quick with an appointment, I piss myself off being like this. Ugh.
When my kids were younger, I tried this website http://www.flylady.net/. She sends you daily or weekly emails (your choice) with suggested chores, and she has some helpful starting tips and a suggested weekly schedule of what room to work on when in addition to general picking up and dishes. I found it helpful when my life was really hectic.0 -
AngryViking1970 wrote: »Sounds like you're a naturally strong person, so you probably don't need it. I do. I'm quite the weakling. Well, physically anyway. Mentally, no. Mentally I'm known as the Boot Camp Drill Sargent in my family. Physically, well??? Let's just say that sometimes going in and out of the grocery store I step onto the automatic door thingy and the door doesn't open. Thankfully, I learned from "Toy Story" to jump up and down once or twice and the door opens. My son finds this highly amusing and will lag behind me just to watch it happen.
See and I can picture that and it's awesome. haha
Awesomely embarrassing, yes!
I don't jump up and down, but sometimes I have to cha cha back and forth to catch the sensor. We'd be a blast trying to get into the store together.
I can join your little group. I was following someone into a store one day and the door almost closed on me. Scared the crap outta me and I probably looked funny jumping out of the way. Maybe all three of us could get it to work lol.
Apparently I walk too fast....or lack a soul, I have walked into those darn doors more than once. Maybe I'll try disco dancing up to them to give the doors a chance.
LOL, that's what I've said about myself when they won't work
I am currently drinking a protein shake. Why, oh why can they not make a protein powder that tastes good?!
this stuff is yummy:
http://www.amazon.com/SynTrax-Protein-Isolate-Roadside-Lemonade/dp/B00118661C/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1433957750&sr=8-1&keywords=lemonade+protein+powder0 -
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berlynnwall wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »
Thanks for the replies guys. This is why my heart is broken and I've been so (BEYOND) depressed lately. I haven't talked to him since last Sunday. I have cried every day.
I did the bad thing and checked on his phone because he's been so secretive (I was able to guess the password). I saw a lot of things that I never wanted to see.
I love him so I'm struggling with my feelings right now. I know most people can't change but maybe therapy? I don't know. I am in that strange place where I don't want to be without him but I don't want to be with him if he can't change.
Sorry to complain. I feel like it's cheating too since it's a violation of trust and he is being inappropriate. We are going to meet up Friday to talk. This is the guy I've been with for almost 11 years.
I would be pissed, like I said in my last post, I would want to freak out.....
I have read a lot of the posts that say it is a deal breaker, and while some people feel that way, I do not always think it is that easy.
If it is some guy you have been with a few months or something, of course, get out right away. But if it is someone you have been with for many years and otherwise the relationship is good and this is not repeat behavior, IMO you really have to decide if it is something worth throwing the whole relationship out.
I know this might not be a popular opinion, but I do not believe the monogamy is natural for humans. Most animals are not monogamous. Even if you are doing your best to be monogamous, sometimes you become drawn to something you cannot control.
I am a firm believer that some people will always cheat, and some people may never, but given the right set of circumstances EVERYONE is capable of cheating. Ever see the movie Unfaithful? Perfect example.
I actually agree with you that people are not naturally monogamous. But unless both sides are aware and have a agreement to behave or think openly about that, sexting or carrying on a affair is cheating. You are breaking an agreement between 2 people to have a singular and committed relationship, and you are hiding this fact from the other person in the relationship. That is what I object to. If you need the rules of the relationship changed, you need a discussion with your partner and they either agree or don't agree. Sneaking around behind someone's back is always wrong.
I am not disagreeing, I consider it cheating as well. My point was that it is really hard for most people to be monogamous because it is unnatural, so if it is an otherwise great relationship and this is a one time occurrence after a decade, is it really worth losing that?
A lot of people struggle their whole lives to be monogamous because that is what society accepts, and sometimes, even though that is our intent, we fail.
Sorry, I was to edit this for spelling and also to add something but my phone was being stupid....so now I am on the laptop...
I wanted to add that I was only trying to show the other side of all the posts that say it is a deal breaker 100%, because IMO it is not always. You have to look at the big picture.
I think that is fair. Other posters said the same thing along the lines of if he is truly remorseful and you can forgive, then maybe you can move past it. Its possible. But I wouldn't want to stay in a relationship where trust was gone and could never be restored. But like most things in life, everything is individual so each person in the end has to make the decision that is right for them.
I agree. A few people said that if she stays she should insist on full rights to check his phone, internet, pockets etc. I feel like I need to say this, and it's not necessarily 100% related to your post so I apologize. I just want to caution people in this situation that that is no way to live. It is exhausting and if you think about it, what is the outcome? Either you drive yourself crazy looking for proof that they are lying and you get so focused on that that you lose the love you had for them, or you find the proof you wanted and you have lost all trust and intimacy and the love you had for them. If it's to a point where you feel like you have to search your partner for contraband, I'm sorry, but that relationship is over.
THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS! Sorry to yell, but this is a very important point.
I think it's important too. Unfortunately, I think this is the type of thing that people have to experience on their own before they get that it's a waste of time. I've actually had women tell me that I'm naive and "asking to be cheated on" because I don't invade my husband's privacy constantly. Nope x1000000
So true! If I felt the need to check up on my husband then clearly we aren't right for each other. He and I aren't even on the same cell phone plan. He doesn't know the security code to my phone and I have no idea if he uses one or not. I've nothing to hide and neither does he. Besides, if he DID cheat, I'd find out. But this is the 2nd marriage for both of us, so we've agreed to tell each other and get divorced should one or the other of us decide we wanted someone else.0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »So today my husband comes home - he's currently on an away a week/home a week work schedule. Needless to say I'll be busy today trying to look like I've completely done ALL the jobs I planned to do when he was away, clean the house etc etc.
He's not a tyrant in any way, but because I'm not working at the moment, I think it's my job to do everything around the house so that he doesn't have to be concerned about it. I always feel like I need to have something to show for my free time - 'Look at this clean house!' or 'I did the garden!' or 'Here, I single handedly sanded and stained this big-@ss deck! Be pleased with me!'
Got any tips for others? Lol! I probably have to be the worst housewife ever, I seriously suck at it.
ETA: It's to the point hubby calls me when he's headed home, just to give me a heads up to get dinner started and clean up. Usually he's an hour or so away, so then it's a mad scramble to make it look like I've actually done something. Sigh, I hope the doctors office is quick with an appointment, I piss myself off being like this. Ugh.
When my kids were younger, I tried this website http://www.flylady.net/. She sends you daily or weekly emails (your choice) with suggested chores, and she has some helpful starting tips and a suggested weekly schedule of what room to work on when in addition to general picking up and dishes. I found it helpful when my life was really hectic.
I just signed up for their emails because I am awwwwwful at working full time and being a mom and working out and keeping a tidy house. There, I said it.0 -
I'm back! You people have been very talkative during my week away! I will never catch up on the 100+ pages I am behind now. I think I will just stay in the present and maybe try to read a page a day back there or something. I had a fabulous time in the Bahamas.
Welcome back! Love your new picture!0 -
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kelly_c_77 wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »@pofoster21, I love the photo! You two look great together and she's a beautiful horse.
Tupperware: my mom bought me some of the real stuff when I first moved out (eleven years ago?) and I loved it and used it constantly...until one of my roommates melted a bunch of the lids somehow. I think I might have cried. It was almost as bad as the time our current roommate broke the glass bowl for my KitchenAid. He had to go to the ER because it cut him up so badly so I couldn't be mad at him, but still. So sad.
Now I only buy glass "tupperware"-type containers though, no plastic, because I'm paranoid about getting it clean otherwise. I hate plastic anything for food - glass, stainless, ceramic all day for me. Again...total clean freak over here.
I would love to buy the glass ones, because the plastic ones stain so badly when I put anything containing tomatoes/tomato sauce/tomato paste in them. :-/ Also, they tend to take on the smell of stuff like garlic and onions, and it's hard to scrub the smell out. -_-
The main problem is that I'm EXTREMELY clumsy, and anything glass is bound to be very short-lived in my house, so I really can't do that. I'm so jealous of people who can have glass dishes and those oh-so-pretty delicate porcelain teacups and... and... *cries from envy*
Fun fact: Whenever my husband hears a bang from another room, he calls out... "What did you break this time?" And if he DOESN'T hear any bangs, he comes to check if I'm okay because it's too quiet...
I'm actually missing part of my pad on my left pinky due to an unfortunate mandolin slicer incident.
Cringing. I get so nervous any time I use my mandolin...for this exact reason!
I used it I grated the eff out of my thumb...I'm pretty clumsy with stuff like that too.
I'm dying.0 -
raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »I'm actually missing part of my pad on my left pinky due to an unfortunate mandolin slicer incident.
I managed to chop off part of the pad on my left ring finger with a claw hammer, pulling a nail out of the wall.
I also cut quite deeply into the webbing between thumb and index finger using scissors to cut up one of those plastic clamshell containers so it would take up less room in the garbage. My SO was standing watching me do it and said he couldn't believe what he was seeing.
I am incredibly clumsy.
edit: messy quote tags0 -
52cardpickup wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »
Thanks for the replies guys. This is why my heart is broken and I've been so (BEYOND) depressed lately. I haven't talked to him since last Sunday. I have cried every day.
I did the bad thing and checked on his phone because he's been so secretive (I was able to guess the password). I saw a lot of things that I never wanted to see.
I love him so I'm struggling with my feelings right now. I know most people can't change but maybe therapy? I don't know. I am in that strange place where I don't want to be without him but I don't want to be with him if he can't change.
Sorry to complain. I feel like it's cheating too since it's a violation of trust and he is being inappropriate. We are going to meet up Friday to talk. This is the guy I've been with for almost 11 years.
I would be pissed, like I said in my last post, I would want to freak out.....
I have read a lot of the posts that say it is a deal breaker, and while some people feel that way, I do not always think it is that easy.
If it is some guy you have been with a few months or something, of course, get out right away. But if it is someone you have been with for many years and otherwise the relationship is good and this is not repeat behavior, IMO you really have to decide if it is something worth throwing the whole relationship out.
I know this might not be a popular opinion, but I do not believe the monogamy is natural for humans. Most animals are not monogamous. Even if you are doing your best to be monogamous, sometimes you become drawn to something you cannot control.
I am a firm believer that some people will always cheat, and some people may never, but given the right set of circumstances EVERYONE is capable of cheating. Ever see the movie Unfaithful? Perfect example.
I actually agree with you that people are not naturally monogamous. But unless both sides are aware and have a agreement to behave or think openly about that, sexting or carrying on a affair is cheating. You are breaking an agreement between 2 people to have a singular and committed relationship, and you are hiding this fact from the other person in the relationship. That is what I object to. If you need the rules of the relationship changed, you need a discussion with your partner and they either agree or don't agree. Sneaking around behind someone's back is always wrong.
I am not disagreeing, I consider it cheating as well. My point was that it is really hard for most people to be monogamous because it is unnatural, so if it is an otherwise great relationship and this is a one time occurrence after a decade, is it really worth losing that?
A lot of people struggle their whole lives to be monogamous because that is what society accepts, and sometimes, even though that is our intent, we fail.
Sorry, I was to edit this for spelling and also to add something but my phone was being stupid....so now I am on the laptop...
I wanted to add that I was only trying to show the other side of all the posts that say it is a deal breaker 100%, because IMO it is not always. You have to look at the big picture.
I think that is fair. Other posters said the same thing along the lines of if he is truly remorseful and you can forgive, then maybe you can move past it. Its possible. But I wouldn't want to stay in a relationship where trust was gone and could never be restored. But like most things in life, everything is individual so each person in the end has to make the decision that is right for them.
I agree. A few people said that if she stays she should insist on full rights to check his phone, internet, pockets etc. I feel like I need to say this, and it's not necessarily 100% related to your post so I apologize. I just want to caution people in this situation that that is no way to live. It is exhausting and if you think about it, what is the outcome? Either you drive yourself crazy looking for proof that they are lying and you get so focused on that that you lose the love you had for them, or you find the proof you wanted and you have lost all trust and intimacy and the love you had for them. If it's to a point where you feel like you have to search your partner for contraband, I'm sorry, but that relationship is over.
I agree 100% with this, but for one itty bitty factor: I caught a guy I was dating having an online relationship on the side. I freaked out and he swore he'd never do it again. He thereafter put passwords on ALL of his electronic devices. I then dumped him promptly. If he hadn't put passwords on all of his devices/acted suspiciously, I probably would have given us more of a shot, but the fact that he reacted to being caught cheating with more secrecy was all the proof I needed that he had no intention of changing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's not necessarily about constantly checking up or looking over your shoulder or being suspicious, it's about whether he's being honest and forthright and open. I know other people probably aren't looking at it from that point of view, but that's where I'm coming from.
I think you definitely made the right decision here!0 -
Ok seriously... 5 pages in a few hours? SheeeshFor more laundry talk, here's 1 morning of baseball/softball game day laundry. 4 loads there for 55 lb washers, everything gets soaked overnight, everything gets scrubbed by hand, washed twice, then hung to dry.
Oh gosh. I'm so glad my kids are not into sports.Susieq_1994 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Last time I stayed at a hotel, I took some of the little cups of peanut butter from the continental breakfast. I'm eating one now, with a spoon, as a snack.
Thief! Just kidding. That is a fabulous idea! I buy the little pre portioned cups of hummus so I don't have to weigh it out. It's WAY more expensive, but my time is precious and I don't want to spend it weighing out a really sad amount of hummus.
No judgement, but store-bought hummus is sad no matter what size or form it comes in!
You can never beat homemade hummus. In fact, I just had some that I made a couple of days ago for dinner with Iranian-style kabab kubbideh! Yum. 
I've been meaning to make hummus for weeks, but I'm worried that I will eat the entire batch in a week three days.
I usually just make enough for 8 very small servings (like enough to spread on a kabab/chicken sandwich) or two big fat servings (that would make up a whole meal) or four medium servings (enough for a side dish). All that to say that I make about 500 grams of it at a time. Heh.
Confession: I'm just really super fed-up with myself. Ever since I've started "slipping" I've basically been tightening my "restriction" belt more and more and more. Baking ingredients? Banned from the house. Sweets? Banned from the house. Butter? Banned. Sugar? Banned. And yet, I still manage to mess up, because I'm just that awesome. And you know what? I'm sick of it.
I told my husband last night that if I keep this up, we're not going to have any food left in the house at all soon. :-/ The last straw for me was when I slipped up (2000+ calories over maintenance) because of trying to bake something (out of desperation) with a bunch of substitutes that tasted NASTY, and it turned out that I could have had the same amount of the real stuff for much less calories than that... It's like I just keep on baking because baking is "bad" (and yet I really love baking) and so tempting to do because I feel like I can't ever do it again if I'm being "good".
So you know what I did? I threw out everything I've been doing for these last few months. Everything. I went out and I bought flour, sugars, butter, baking powder, chocolate, and then I baked a big ole batch of chocolate chip cookies. I now have a freezer full of cookies and two big bags of chocolate chips and a whole bunch of ingredients to bake more WHENEVER I WANT. And that feels freeing.
I did slip up eat more cookies than I intended to yesterday, BUT I didn't eat the whole tray like I did every single time before this because "I have to finish these so I won't mess up again tomorrow!". Well, it's tomorrow now. There are still plenty of cookies. And there will be plenty the day after too. And I don't need to have one right now, because I can have one later. And that feels freeing, too.
Will this work? I really have absolutely no idea. But I'm really, really, really sick of all this "forbidden" and "good" and "bad" and not being able to bake. So I'm throwing everything out of the window and starting over again. Send me good vibes?
Sorry for the novel.
It worked for me. I bought a lot of chocolate, oreos, and ice cream... I still have a lot of chocolate, oreos, and ice cream. They're not going anywhere, and I actually haven't had either in several days now and don't even feel like having them. I'm a weirdo I guess, I do better when we have it in the house... otherwise I buy it anyway but eat the whole pint/package.
So, I hope it works for you too! But I think we deal with a lot of the same issues, so I totally get it. Heck, I'm saying that but I'm still trying to avoid sweets right now to make sure I stay in my calorie goal (unless I have spare calories after dinner, but it hasn't happened this week yet).I'm pretty sure my frustration recently at trying to keep up with this thread is whenever I click on this thread it takes me to the last post instead of where I left off. Then I have to page back. Then I miss posts. Then I'm behind anyway.
In light of that, I'm probably the only person that is actually happy when @Francl27 double (or triple) posts because that's one less post I have to catch up on!
Seconded. Also, sorry @Francl27 I think it's funny and I love your various reactions when it happens.
Me too! I know it's annoying to you bAngryViking1970 wrote: »Sounds like you're a naturally strong person, so you probably don't need it. I do. I'm quite the weakling. Well, physically anyway. Mentally, no. Mentally I'm known as the Boot Camp Drill Sargent in my family. Physically, well??? Let's just say that sometimes going in and out of the grocery store I step onto the automatic door thingy and the door doesn't open. Thankfully, I learned from "Toy Story" to jump up and down once or twice and the door opens. My son finds this highly amusing and will lag behind me just to watch it happen.
See and I can picture that and it's awesome. haha
Awesomely embarrassing, yes!
I don't jump up and down, but sometimes I have to cha cha back and forth to catch the sensor. We'd be a blast trying to get into the store together.
I can join your little group. I was following someone into a store one day and the door almost closed on me. Scared the crap outta me and I probably looked funny jumping out of the way. Maybe all three of us could get it to work lol.
Apparently I walk too fast....or lack a soul, I have walked into those darn doors more than once. Maybe I'll try disco dancing up to them to give the doors a chance.
LOL, that's what I've said about myself when they won't work
I am currently drinking a protein shake. Why, oh why can they not make a protein powder that tastes good?!
Two words: Dyna Whey. Available at Superstore (and Costco, if you have one).
But ONLY in Canada, because you are greedy protein that doesn't taste icky bastages.
Oh, gosh. You weren't supposed to see that.
I seriously think of you every damn morning when I open the container (it's in Tupperware) and the aroma of iced cappuccino wafts out at me.
Which brings me to a strange confession... for someone who loathes cooking, and all aspects of meal preparation, I own craploads of Tupperware. All acquired in my younger years when I was not very well off, and that stuff's bloody expensive. I think maybe I had a fantasy that it would make me enjoy cooking, or make it easier, or something like that.
Apparently, this is why I cannot keep Tupperware in the house. I buy it. But I like to cook. Then the kids and everyone else takes home leftover food in the containers and they NEVER BRING THEM BACK! I have been known to go to my kids' houses and rummage through the cabinet, saying "This is mine and this is mine...".
Not sure where that weird half post came from. Tried to edit it, but couldn't. Sorry!
Mine keep disappearing too. Or just the lid. My husband says it's not his fault, which is funny, considering he's the only one who takes them out of the house. And I use the Pyrex stuff so it's not cheap either. Bleh.pofoster21 wrote: »
Make lists. Check things off. Seriously - best way to get anything done.raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »So today my husband comes home - he's currently on an away a week/home a week work schedule. Needless to say I'll be busy today trying to look like I've completely done ALL the jobs I planned to do when he was away, clean the house etc etc.
He's not a tyrant in any way, but because I'm not working at the moment, I think it's my job to do everything around the house so that he doesn't have to be concerned about it. I always feel like I need to have something to show for my free time - 'Look at this clean house!' or 'I did the garden!' or 'Here, I single handedly sanded and stained this big-@ss deck! Be pleased with me!'
Got any tips for others? Lol! I probably have to be the worst housewife ever, I seriously suck at it.
I believe I've shared this before, but I LOVE LISTS!!! They make me feel so accomplished when I can go through and check everything off. I even add stuff after the fact, just so I can check it off.
I old my husband that last week and he got a big kick out of it.
I'm so anxious for our trip, that I want to pack all my stuff now, even though our trip isn't for another 18 days, and I will need most of the stuff I'm packing, aside from the swimwear, and the one new thing I bought to sleep in.
Plus if you pack now, you'll be convinced you forgot something, and will have to unpack and repack anyway. I have had that happen.
That's what the list is for.
Yep, already thinking of starting the list for my trip in 4 weeks, lol.quiksylver296 wrote: »I am totally judging on a female that keeps posting threads with fitness model pictures and says she wants to look like them, but she has 140 pounds to lose! I want to go tell her that she is setting herself up for failure. Baby steps, honey, baby steps!
But I don't think that would be well received.
I think everyone wants to, I know exactly who you're speaking about
Yep. It was a pretty big let down to get down so close to my goal weight and realize that I'll never look the way I wanted to.Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »And woot! I stepped on the scale today and my body finally released the stupid 2-4 lbs of water (it varied) it held on to for this past week and even gave me another -1 lb for my wait.
So now I'm down 17 pounds. With another 23 lbs to go until goal. That makes me feel awesome.
I've been feeling kind of grumpy/crabby/exhausted the last few days so I went to bed at 8 pm last night after I put both my kids to bed. It felt AMAZING to sleep for 10 hours. I used to average 4-5 hrs/night.
So this is going to sound weird, but every time I get a lot of sleep I always am lighter in the AM. Its weird.
I have a friend who didn't lose weight for WEEKS and she was getting discouraged, but when she started getting more than 3-4 hours of sleep per night, she dropped about three kilos over the next week or so. It may sound odd, but the amount of rest we get almost always affects weight loss. If I haven't slept well the day before a weigh-in, it's generally not a pretty number.
Definitely. Plus when I'm tired I get hungrier too.berlynnwall wrote: »So, I don't know if anyone remembers my wedding drama from way back in April*, but the short story is that my "best friend" would rather never talk to me again that work out our issues. I feel like I've broken up with a spouse. She and I have been friends longer than I've known my husband. I don't even really understand how she got this mad, and she won't tell me. And that is why I'm taking the Boo Radley challenge (not really, but I'm very sad).
*Cliff notes: She was helping me plan, I decided to elope for many valid reasons, she couldn't make it, she felt I cut her out.
I remember. That sucks. I will NEVER get it. My sister cut one of her best friends for a dumb reason and I feel so bad for her. I've been cut too... Although I knew why. Still sucked though and I still think of her (she was a childhood friend). The only friends I've cut were when I was 19, and I was a dumb 19yo. I actually tried to contact them again after a couple years but they never contacted me back...
Ok I really want to comment on everything but that's just not possible. Sorry
I am however happy to report that the crazy hunger that has haunted me for 2 weeks is finally gone... probably only for a week or two, but I'll take it. My confession is that it's much easier to stick to my goals because of it, but it also makes me feel guilty when I have treats, thinking I should just save the extra calories to make up for the hungry days, even though I'm still at a deficit... Plus my PMS will probably hit before or during my vacation so I'm worried I'm going to gain back 5 pounds.
Also sad because I know I will not be able to keep up with this thread while on vacations.
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I'm eating ice cream.
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