Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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Italian_Buju wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!
Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.
From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.
My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.
Now for stepdaughter news.
She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.
I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!
I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
Oh man. What a mix of awesomeness and crappiness in this post. I think your new ring sounds pretty amazing, but the fact that your step-daughter is being such a selfish brat is making me so sad for your husband.
+1
A mix of yays and hugs for you.
Thanks!kellienw335 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
That's awesome news about your ring! Sounds like you had a good weekend except the stepdaughter part. Just curious...why wasn't he involved in her life when she was younger? Counseling may be good for all of you to work through this difficult place. It may reveal some things about her past that provide insight as to why she's acting this way. I hate that Rachael is so disappointed.
(Hugs)
He wanted to be, we both did.
When her mom and my husband broke up, they shared custody (they were never married). For some reason, I'm not 100% clear on this as he doesn't like to talk about it, she quit allowing him visitation. I guess, in the state of Kansas, a mother can say anything she wants against a father, even one paying child support, and it's basically her word against his. She petitioned to increase his child support (this happened several times during our relationship) and was awarded more each time.
In the almost 15 years we've been married, until recently, I had only seen her twice. Once for her 5th birthday (her mother didn't know about this) and once for Christmas (same year, mother didn't know). When Rach was about 2 maybe a little younger, we found out where she worked and Husband asked if he could see her and she told him she didn't think she (daughter) was ready for that. Because, at the time, we didn't have the money to take her to court, he didn't fight his ex anymore and just did was what right by paying his child support and not fighting it every time she wanted more.
He would never admit it, but he's a pushover and hates confrontation. Hence the situation we're currently in. Her mom was pretty pissed when she found out she had sought him out. I'm sure she has a lot to do with the way she's been acting recently since she's staying at her house.
Sorry to be such a downer on a Monday.
There's the key, right there. Nineteen / adult or not, that sole-parental influence is HUGE. My husband and I both had joint custody of our kids, but the influence of the other parent was always present. I'll shut up on this subject after this, but once she becomes independent, breaks away from her mom, goes through a few serious relationships of her own, she will see your husband's side so much clearer.
Example scenario: say she gets seriously involved with a guy who has a child. Mother of the child does the exact thing to her (hypothetical) boyfriend that her mom did. He wants to see his child and be involved, but he is denied. He's hurt and she doesn't like it. Light bulb moment. She won't necessarily see her mom as the bad guy, but she'll apply all those same feelings to her current situation and eventually she will see things differently. IMHO.
I hope you're right. For his sake, her sake and Rachael's sake. Thank you.
As a single mom I wish my son had a dad that gave a s*** like your husband does. My ex didn't he even bother answering the phone when my son called to wish him a Happy Fathers Day. He texted me later that it was because he got so drunk and passed out in his front yard that his neighbour called 911 because they thought he was dead.
Wow. I can't decide what's worse: that he actually DID this or that he so readily admitted it! Yikes. I am very sorry for you and your son having to deal with this, but it's best that there's no contact at all.
Can you imagine if he had your son for days or overnights the worry you would have not knowing if he was drinking or not?! This is definitely a case of, be grateful for whatever you can in a bad situation.
I have a friend that went through this when her boys were young.....she stopped contact when he fell asleep drunk while cooking and burned the house down while the boys were there.....thankfully they made it out ok or she would have never gotten over it.....
that is absolutely terrifying.0 -
It's not that common these days - people are too busy. My (previously mentioned and sadly now departed) mother-in-law was very posh and proper, and tea on the lawn was a regular occurrence, complete with lots of nice little eats.All of the people who are going to @LBuehrle8's tea party! I've taken care of the menu for you. Save some Pimms for me.
https://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/12-brilliantly-vintage-tea-party-ideas-124625523.html
Ooooh.
That tea party chat made me crave tea sandwiches, even though I had no idea what they were and I had to look it up.
The funny thing is I've stayed in families in England 3 times (5 weeks total, 3 different families) and I can't remember ever having a proper tea!
Speaking of England - I really want to go again. It's one of those things I hope to do again someday. Mostly see London again... and have good English fish and chips (somehow I'm always disappointed when I order some here in the US, although I'm sure it's just my memories that are off and it's not actually that different).
Fish and chips are THE BEST when eaten on a chilly, windy beach with seagulls waiting menacingly for any leftovers.
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pofoster21 wrote: »aw darn it lost the vanity (the best part) so one more
These are beautiful! I love the tiles in the bathroom! So very pretty.
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I see what you did there and I like it!riderfangal wrote: »
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I just joined my first event ride by our local cycling organization RABA (Richmond Area Bicycling Association) to support their 'Bikes for Kids' program. Beyond excited!
http://www.heartofvabikefestival.org/
Which of the races (how many miles) are you doing? What a great cause.
Probably the 64 mile but I would really like to work up to the 101. I've never done a century ride (mainly because I wasn't in a cycling group before and have been reluctant to venture too far out without some support-like a riding partner) so that would be a great milestone to reach this year. I might check out the course ahead of time to see how taxing it is. The coordinator said it is moderately hilly so that might play a part in my decision.riderfangal wrote: »I just joined my first event ride by our local cycling organization RABA (Richmond Area Bicycling Association) to support their 'Bikes for Kids' program. Beyond excited!
http://www.heartofvabikefestival.org/
Good for you!!!
Thanks!kellienw335 wrote: »
Do as the peanut butter addicts do and drown them in water prior to trashing them. Soggy chips = no bueno!holliebevineau wrote: »I counted out 15 potato chips and threw the rest in the garbage. I got them out the garbage to eat more. I am so ashamed.
Great minds think alike because that was the first thing that popped into my head!
Great minds, indeed! *high five*I just joined my first event ride by our local cycling organization RABA (Richmond Area Bicycling Association) to support their 'Bikes for Kids' program. Beyond excited!
http://www.heartofvabikefestival.org/
That's awesome!! I'm hoping to start riding more in events with my dad, it's a lot of fun!
Thanks! This will be a great goal to focus on through the summer. 0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »yesterday afternoon i had plans to take my mom to see jurassic world. yesterday we also had a massive storm that dumped tons of rain. it was still slightly raining when i left the house to meet her at the theater. of course i'm perpetually late for everything and was probably driving a smidge too fast for the road conditions.
then i started to fishtail on the four lane highway, and i completely can't pull out of it, totally lose control, the car does a full 360 spin across the two lanes of oncoming traffic and i bounce off of the opposing guardrail.
by some tiny miracle, no one was coming when i crossed lanes. if anyone had been, i probably would have killed them and myself. so i'm on the wrong side of the road facing the wrong direction. see no one coming at me head on, and drive back over to the right side of the road to a stoplight. this dude pulls up in the lane next to me and is like ARE YOU OK?!?!! i'm all shaky and say yeah, i think so. light turns green and i drive on to the theater like everything is fine.
i meet up with my mom and i'm like, i think i might have just almost died, and explain the whole thing to her and she's like... well maybe you should slow the hell down. and i say no, this was REALLY scary, and she's just like yeah, i've done it before too. slow down.
thanks mom!
confession: my mother's total lack of empathy and concern really ticks me off sometimes....
I confess my first thought was why are you driving so fast to make a movie of all things......esp in bad weather, slow down!
it was JURASSIC WORLD!
dinosaurs!
i've been giddy for this for SO LONG.
but i fully admit that dying before getting there would have greatly ruined it....
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »@FroggyBug How are you doing?
Thanks for asking. I'm doing okay. I did a small update a few pages back but I think it was passed over. My boyfriend and I actually talked a lot on Sunday. I was able to ask a bunch of questions and I really do think he answered truthfully. He still wants to do counseling. We are kind of both taking some space too.
I think he is depressed too. His dad passed away a few years ago and he hasn't been the same since (no excuse though-he needs to deal with stuff). He is withdrawn, angry at the world and less patient. I think that is the biggest reason we are having issues really. I told him he needs to think about getting help for himself.
At least I slept better last night.
How are you doing?
I did see the update, but I really don't know what to say that wouldn't sound awkward or trite, since I've never been through anything like it--that's why I so rarely comment on the situation when you update us. Just know that I'm thinking of you, and support you in whatever decision you feel is best.
I wasn't trying to make anyone feel bad (about possibly not seeing it). I just wasn't sure.
Thanks for the thoughts! I keep you in my thoughts as well since you are sometimes so down.0 -
I eat too many calories late into the night. Including now.
Nothing wrong with eating before bed if you still stay within your calories. I eat like 400 calories in the 1-3 hours before bed every night, including carbs and I have been since I started this. Thats when I like to eat, so thats when I'll eat
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Every time I go down the cereal aisle and see Pop Tarts I think of this thread. Sometimes I even consider buying them just because 0 -
I see what you did there and I like it!riderfangal wrote: »
Tee hee0 -
lilaclovebird wrote: »Whew....working nights can suck sometimes because everyone else posts during the day...
@MoHousdon Your step-daughter will eventually realize how her actions affect other people but it may take a while. I am 26 and it has taken me this long to REALLY have it sink in, although, it did initially start when I was 17 in my senior year of high school.
Confession #1: It's that TOM and I have become an over eating, over emotional, train wreck. I didn't log everything I ate yesterday and I likely will not log ANYTHING today and I will just keep my workouts going and forgive myself later...
Confession #2: The emotional train wreck part, I have been taking my crazy emotions out on my boss(who I am dating, judge not!). I apologized to him via text and wasn't planning on seeing him until Tuesday(this morning) but I asked if I could come over today(still Monday in my mind) and he said he was good with it. I told him I was super sorry for being all 'woman crazy' as I call it and he thanked me for acknowledging how my overemotional tendencies affect him and, because I KNEW he would be so accepting about everything, I also bought him some apology beer.
Confession #3: I have never been with someone who is so considerate and accepting of my feelings before and it terrifies me
but at the same time makes me want to be a more considerate and accepting person too. 
@Susieq_1994 Every time I play 'catch up' on this thread, you are on the list of top posts I look for. When you are gone you are missed VERY much. Sometimes working on yourself is the best way to worship. So, if you have to, focus on yourself a little more than your prayers. I feel Allah will be grateful that you are taking the time to care for the body he so carefully molded for you so that you can better worship and serve him in the future. I'm sure he sees your struggle and knows you will come out better for it.
Awe thats so sweet. My boyfriend has put up with me a lot too... quite the emotional roller coaster and lifestyle change since we met 3 years ago lol. He really is the love of my life. I pinch myself every day wondering how I got so lucky. Seriously. 0 -
WestCoastJo82 wrote: »No sure if I should be proud or ashamed but I just ate my morning snack - melted mozz cheese on a plate! It made me think of this thread because I think that was something people shamefully confessed to eating at the very beginning of the thread, but I think it's a perfectly normal snack. I mean, people eat string cheese and have no issues with that as I snack, why should I be ashamed if I microwave it first? This made me think of other shamefully confessed foods that I also eat and have never thought twice about, like butter on saltines, or the oh so popular spoons of chocolate powder. I'm not sure if this means I have a good relationship with food, or if I have really strange ideas of snacks.
Um I totally do this. And it tastes awesome. A little bit of salt or guacamole on the top and I'm in heaven 0 -
That's why you have to toast them and slather them with butter.kellienw335 wrote: »
Yeah, cause that makes them so much "better"! 0 -
kelly_c_77 wrote: »I confess I just traded my nice, healthy lunch that usually I love to eat and am always pleased with for a 4" diameter chocolate cake with vanilla frosting. Why? Because it was in the reduced bakery section for only $1.40. I followed that up by eating about 20 cinnamon donut holes. Why? Because they were also reduced down to only $.70 !! While they were delicious, and I can afford to eat this way on some days because of the amount of exercise I do and deficit I keep, I feel like I'm going to die. I know that in a couple hours when this sugar high wears off, I'll be feeling even worse and craving more sugar. Ughh!
Why oh why can't I eat sweets in moderation? I had been doing so well. This morning's weigh in showed that I lost 3 of the pounds that I had put on from my emotional bingeing this past year.
Ok done complaining.
Sometimes, our temptations just get the best of us. I would have been hard pressed to not buy a cake that was only $1.40 ESPECIALLY if it were chocolate with vanilla frosting. I wouldn't spend too much time regretting or feeling guilty. Just log this, appreciate the loss you had, and make a better choice for your next meal.
You can just think of it as you had your dessert before dinner today.
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xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »@FroggyBug How are you doing?
Thanks for asking. I'm doing okay. I did a small update a few pages back but I think it was passed over. My boyfriend and I actually talked a lot on Sunday. I was able to ask a bunch of questions and I really do think he answered truthfully. He still wants to do counseling. We are kind of both taking some space too.
I think he is depressed too. His dad passed away a few years ago and he hasn't been the same since (no excuse though-he needs to deal with stuff). He is withdrawn, angry at the world and less patient. I think that is the biggest reason we are having issues really. I told him he needs to think about getting help for himself.
At least I slept better last night.
How are you doing?
I saw your update and responded, but it seems like even when I'm on here during the day I STILL miss posts! I think it's because every time I come back to the thread or refresh it it takes me to the last post, then I have to scroll back, and inevitably posts are missed.
Yea sorry. I'm still catching up so I saw that you responded (thanks-if I haven't said it before-I do appreciate it). I wasn't trying to make anyone feel bad. I just didn't see anything before that. 0 -
A little warning - nowhere over there serves it in newspaper any more. They did when I was a kid, but it's been plain paper for many years. Our local chippy here thinks they're being 'authentic' by wrapping in newspaper but it makes me roll my eyes.@Francl27 my dad said one of the first things I should do when I get there is have an authentic fish and chips meal! I love the Americanized version so I'm sure I'll love it more over there, yum!!
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kellienw335 wrote: »WestCoastJo82 wrote: »No sure if I should be proud or ashamed but I just ate my morning snack - melted mozz cheese on a plate! It made me think of this thread because I think that was something people shamefully confessed to eating at the very beginning of the thread, but I think it's a perfectly normal snack. I mean, people eat string cheese and have no issues with that as I snack, why should I be ashamed if I microwave it first? This made me think of other shamefully confessed foods that I also eat and have never thought twice about, like butter on saltines, or the oh so popular spoons of chocolate powder. I'm not sure if this means I have a good relationship with food, or if I have really strange ideas of snacks.
I love microwaved string cheese! Especially when part of it gets crunchy! Yum!
yes yes yes!0 -
Thank you all my lovely friends for the well wishes about my trip ( and @spamarie the vote of confidence on my relationship, I love stories like that!) I don't go until August so I have much time to lose more weight, get all my waxing done, shopping, and primp and pamper before I get to go see my man! Woo hoo!0
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