Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
Replies
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oneallmama wrote: »Well.. I guess I should say my confessions!
I went to Zaxby's last week and ate their 5 piece chicken meal and then went home and had cookies... Needless to say, I was well over my calories allowance.
I punish myself for my cheat days with intense exercise which stresses me out and makes my hair fall out.
I don't drink enough water when I do exercise and I don't stretch properly either.
I only get 6 hours of sleep a day maximum (really paranoid/anxious at night)
I struggle to eat enough protein everyday.
And that's about it!
Welcome! And punishing yourself for a mistake is not very good mentally. Just log it and move on!0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »I like being friends with the people from this thread.
Because I know nobody will put their judgy pants on when they see my diary.
I never put judgy pants on when I see diaries! I understand what it's like to struggle, and plus I just get jealous when it's full of yums...
But yours is private, I can't even see it even though we're friends--so nobody can put judgy pants on at all!
I thought I had unlocked that for friends. I will fix it.
Thanks.
You're welcome! I love browsing diaries; you'll find a lot of 3000+ calories days if you browse mine, though (and a ton of empty days, these past few months, unfortunately.
).
Honesty is good though. I struggled about opening it for friends because I was afraid people would judge. But, then I thought "It's my lifestyle and if they want to judge, so be it. I'm usually pretty good - except a couple Saturdays ago when I drank my dinner.
Ha, mine is open to the public. I have no shame! (Actually, I just don't think anyone cares enough to go and stalk it.)
Mine is open too. But when I go over, I will often just put quick calories because nobody needs to know that I had half a pint of ice cream over my calories... at least this way they might think it was 200 calories of broccoli or something (as if).
But I never 'complete' my diary and I stopped posting pretty much everything on my feed (diary completion, weight loss etc) anyway, so I don't think anyone is looking.
I log what it actually is because I'm obsessive and I want to know exactly how many grams of protein, carbs, etc. had--I never use Quick Add when I can help it. I don't care if everyone sees that I ate 10 chocolate chip cookies or something.
Well once I've reached my protein goal, it doesn't really matter to me, and I pretty much always do anyway.newfutures wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »I like being friends with the people from this thread.
Because I know nobody will put their judgy pants on when they see my diary.
Have you guys seriously had people judge you about your diaries?
I don't recall ever having anyone judge anything I ate but I think I had someone question me about my sodium intake a few times.
The only time I would judge someone about their food diary or delete them would be from them eating under 1,000 calories everyday.
I would only give constructive criticism if someone asked for it & usually only looked at food diaries to see if I could get any new food ideas. Personally I found looking at food diaries to be tedious.
Yes. I had people tell me I eat too much junk. Unfriended very fast too.
why would you delete someone because the amount of calories THEY eat? If they are not trying to force you to eat like that in anyway why does it offend you so much that you should delete them?
No I deleted them because they commented on what *I* ate.
I keep my diary closed even to my friends because I don't really want other people's opinions on it when they don't necessarily know my goals or what I care about. I deleted some people who got judgey whenever I ate anything processed, for example (because I'm not trying to cut that stuff down) and people who offered unsolicited advice on my protein goal (I'm not lifting and I don't need to raise my goal when I feel energetic and not hungry, you know?)
Ok given my post about looking at dairies, let me at that I would never comment on what someone eats or does not eat....no judgement here, hell, some of my days I am a hot mess!
Also, I only log six days a week, because if I do not have a 'break day' I get too overwhelmed by it....I still watch what eat that day though....
I just do not want to be 'liking' a log full of dangerous habits.....but that has yet to happen anyway....0 -
You guys are super chatty! I didn't check this thread over the weekend and it took me until today to get caught up!
I don't usually send friend requests but will if someone says "add me" because I really like having friends on here but please don't judge my diary because it has been a mess lately.
No judging, remember? We're not allowed to wear judgey pants with anyone inside our village even if we're not IN the village at the time.
I really wasn't trying to be judgey! What part did you think was bad? That I called you guys chatty? or when I said my diary has been a mess?
I don't think she was saying you were being judgey. I think she was saying there would be no judging on your diary because you're part of this village even if your diary exists outside of it!
BINGO!
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quiksylver296 wrote: »
Special needs kid. Not good at organising himself. Trusts his useless mother to do it for him.quiksylver296 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »
And now I feel worse because my husband asked why I didn't drive him to school. I don't know why - I should have, I was just in such a panic I wasn't thinking straight.Oh, I am such a bad mother! My son is in the middle of diploma exams - I checked the calendar a dozen times and wrote down that his last two exams are on Monday. Got a call from the school at 9.34 saying that he should be in an exam right now and that they'd let him in if he got there by 10.00. I hauled him out of bed and thrust the car keys in his hand. He should be able to get there on time. I'm shaking. How could I have messed up so badly?
Not judging, but if he's old enough to drive...why isn't he keeping his own exam schedule?
I kinda thought that, too. (But not judging!)
I called the school and he did get there in time. So he wasn't prepared, but at least he's there.
Gotcha. Sorry.
ETA: I remember that now. Confession: I suck at remembering everyone's life details.
Same here. I kind of feel bad because everyone else seems to remember so many details about everyone else. I do read everything but I guess I have a bad memory.
Ditto0 -
raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »I think I'm going to take a break from logging for a little while, I'm so overwhelmed right now with everything.
The good news is, I have a doctor's appointment July 9th, so hopefully I'll get some help.
Raelynn had a 3 year old checkup on Monday, and her pediatrician is referring us for services through the school district for her. (Special needs, SPD and Anxiety) I'm glad someone is finally listening!
I'll still be here checking in, and once things get better I'll try to start logging again. Y'all are more than welcome to add me as well, I'd love to have y'all as friends!
Wishing you the best! Take care of yourself and Raelynn.0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »catruledquilter wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »Fitness related confession: I attempted to do my HIIT workout last night, and by attempt, I mean, I made 2 rather pathetic rounds skipping some exercises as to not injure myself further. I think I actually DID injure myself further. My ankle was really swollen last night and my leg was really sore. I really hate that I got hurt so close to my vacation and I can't do a proper workout because of it.
Non-fitness related confession: My husband FINALLY messaged his daughter (actually, she messaged him after my request yesterday [small victory?]) and she is coming by Saturday because he told her he wants to talk to her in person. I am glad he finally did this and I hope he doesn't chicken out and lays down the law with her. I'm not sure if I will be present or not because I told my daughter I'd take her Father's Day shopping Saturday and I also have an eye appointment to get my trial contacts checked. A part of me wants to be there to support him, but a part of me knows me, and fears I might say something I'll regret. Not sure which part of me will win yet. Positive thoughts are appreciated.
On a related note, when I got home last night, I noticed her cat has managed to tear about a 4" hole in my carpet in the doorway of the room she's staying in. I was so irate that I started screaming at this stupid cat and telling her I hate her and she's got to leave. She didn't understand what I was saying and I am sure she didn't care because she proceeded to tear at the carpet once the door was closed again.
Unrelated but relevant to something I mentioned yesterday: I asked my husband about whether or not we're going to exchange anniversary presents and he said he thought we'd just do some shopping for each other while we're down there. I am on board with this idea especially since I already have an idea of what I want to buy him. He also mentioned that what he wanted to get me we couldn't afford but could make payments on it. I told him I didn't want any more payments and he said not even for a ring?! I love that man!
Sorry so long, but I had a lot to say.
tl;dr: I hurt myself working out, stepdaughter's supposed to talk to husband Saturday, and I may be getting a new ring.
The cat is staying in a room? Like by herself without much contact?? This REALLY bothers me....she must be going stir crazy, that is not good for her mental health....no wonder she is tearing *kitten* up, she must be bored and lonely.
If you do not want the cat,, please take her to a shelter or something, TODAY. If her mental health deteriorates enough, she will never be the same again. She may not even be able to mold properly into a family if she is in there too long.
PLEASE please do not leave that poor animal in there any longer, take her somewhere and give her a chance!
Since she is your daughter's cat, talk to your daughter about either re-homing the cat or getting her some toys to stimulate her mind. She's bored and wants companionship and interaction!
BTW, yelling at the cat only shows her that her destructive ways are getting her attention (not the good kind but attention none the less) and she will repeat the behavior unless it is redirected in an appropriate way with toys or some form of good interaction. She can't help what she's doing...she doesn't know it's wrong...she's begging for attention.
I foster cats...mostly tiny kittens (some newborns who come with their kitty mom)...and I make sure they are well socialized before they go up for adoption (including mom). Only one of my foster kittens "failed"...he's special needs and I adopted him. I have a lot of work to do with him but he's coming around socially. He went from being a terrified special needs kitty to a very loving special needs kitty. He's almost 8 months old...I've had him 4 months. We'll have medical issues to deal with over the next few years but he's worth it. I get my next group of fosters on the 23rd...a calico mama and her 4 newborns.
I would not even wait to talk to the daughter, it is obvious she does not care about the cat. Just do what needs to be done for the sake of the cat and yourself!
I feel the same way but I don't want to make things even more strained. I'm going to message her about making other arrangements for her. If she's not living here her cat doesn't need to be here.
I am an animal lover but I'm not taking on someone else's animals by default.
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pofoster21 wrote: »xMrBunglex wrote: »
FWIW, I do understand what you're saying, but the fact is we're on topic enough of the time.
Right, although they may also have to learn how to properly size a bra, make flapjacks or change the transmission on a Jeep Wranger on the way.Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Agreed. And since this is a really supportive, safe zone, I honestly think a lot of people have been helped back from the verge of falling off the wagon by discussing their struggles here. Or had a helping hand back on when they have fallen. To be honest, I don't really care where this thread is, as long as it doesn't get nuked.Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Confession: I ate nearly 4000 calories yesterday. Mostly in bread and cookies. Ugh.
Anyhow, it's prayer time and the fast has started--I'm off to pray and then maybe get some sleep (I hope).
@ndj1979 True and true, but that's okay. We don't mind being wrong when it feels so right. Although there are quite a lot of confessions in these 959 pages, if you care to browse for them.
eh - my confession - not sure how this would be helpful to newbies as it appears to be a collection of gifs, notes on tv series, and other things, while I am sure are fun to discuss, I fail to see their utility to someone new to weight loss.
I think it's here in the General section because a lot of people feel free to ask questions in here that often get blasted into dumpster fire threads under normal circumstances. A bit like the restaurant-related questions you mentioned in that post of yours... The forums are a scary place for newbies. The "No judgment" in the topic line seems to attract a lot of them, actually.
What you see right now isn't what the thread is like all the time--it's actually evolving constantly since it's so active. Since a lot of us have been here from the beginning, we do often just chit chat all together, but confessions and questions still pour in a lot.
Same here, which is why I do kind of wonder why everyone jumps on the posters who dare to ask why it's in this particular section. Wouldn't it make more sense to explain all that before telling them to go away?
I don't understand why others are so offended by this thread? Apparently many more people than we knew or thought lurk and read every so often.
any other thread that was as off topic as this one would of been locked down by page 15….
just saying..
so the special status is interesting.
Good point... Maybe we're all special snowflakes.
Actually, I think the mods like the positivity and support that this thread continually generates, and since confessions still do pile in daily (and we don't judge them! Most of the time.), we're somewhat on topic. It would be pretty dumb to pull this thread when it's going so well--not that they don't lock down threads for dumb reasons pretty often.
there is plenty of support in the main forums, it just is not sugar coated.
I'd agree there is support in the main forums but the reality is not everyone is as thick skinned as you or I. This thread keeps the people (who would throw the towel in the bucket because they didn't like the deliverance on the main forums) coming back and maybe learning more about weight loss. May be a bit slower but better late than never.
great, but last time I checked it was not a site designed for any of those things. And people are always being chastised to "stay on topic"….
sorry, but based on a browse of the last ten pages or so that does not appear to be the case.
Not sure what that link was but I got blocked at work and a security warning! Yikes!
Ok I see it now on my iPad. Doubly weird. I love Star Wars.0 -
Has anyone seen @noaddedsugarx around recently? Just thinking about her and her grandmother and hoping she's doing all right.
I have wondered about her a few times myself....I hope she is ok....0 -
Confession - I finally started another book yesterday, after taking a reading break for a while because I wasn't totally over my last one yet (what can I say... I get very attached to some characters LOL).
And now I'm annoyed because I can't read. My son was home this morning because he was sick, and now both are here and they need me or watch some cartoons so I can't read it in peace... and I need peace to be able to read. With the kids last day of school tomorrow, I have no idea when I'll get to it... I guess I need to learn to just tune the kids/TV out... And I still really want to keep watching X Files at night too!
This happens to me all the time! Story hangovers.0 -
Flashback to the topic of little dresses (I'm packing and planning clothes for my trip). Here is the most recent dress I picked up (mother's day gift to myself) and it is fairly typical of my "style" at home and on weekends. Comfy!! I'm planning to travel in it tomorrow. So far I've got four dresses, one pair of jeans and one pair of shorts packed. (And a rain coat in case it rains at the baseball game on Monday.)
http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/charter-club-petite-mirrored-print-shift-dress?ID=2119309&pla_country=US&CAGPSPN=pla&CAWELAID=120156340001875893&catargetid=120156340001235625&cadevice=c&cm_mmc=Google_Womens_PLA-_-RTW+Womens_Women's+Dresses_Charter+Club-_-66679803181_-_-_mkwid_rEXzSnVS|dc_66679803181|-|rEXzSnVS0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
Ditto!0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »In the interest of staying on track on this thread...
Confession: I have gained 16 pounds since I started this job in November. Granted it's a desk job, and I came from a fairly active job where I was on my feet a lot. This morning I was down two pounds from my current highest weight. However, my MFP weight is still lower than where I am currently, so I can't log the loss. And that makes me a little sad.
I have also been working SL 5X5s since November. I'm starting to feel strong! Last night I did 190 lbs on my squat, tried for 75 pounds on my OHP (but couldn't finish all my reps on the last set), and 215 on my deadlift. Lost my grip on the last deadlift. I think I need some deadlifting gloves to help my grip. I am going to be trying 120 pounds on my bench press tomorrow night, and 105 on my rows. I
lifting!
What is SL 5X5s? Other people have mentioned it and I have never heard of it?
Stronglifts. It's an organized weight training program, like New Rules of Lifting for Women or Strong Curves.
Hmmm. Is it a book?0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
So did your husband court you? You seem really well suited and he seems a sweetheart. Did you know each other well when you married?0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »In the interest of staying on track on this thread...
Confession: I have gained 16 pounds since I started this job in November. Granted it's a desk job, and I came from a fairly active job where I was on my feet a lot. This morning I was down two pounds from my current highest weight. However, my MFP weight is still lower than where I am currently, so I can't log the loss. And that makes me a little sad.
I have also been working SL 5X5s since November. I'm starting to feel strong! Last night I did 190 lbs on my squat, tried for 75 pounds on my OHP (but couldn't finish all my reps on the last set), and 215 on my deadlift. Lost my grip on the last deadlift. I think I need some deadlifting gloves to help my grip. I am going to be trying 120 pounds on my bench press tomorrow night, and 105 on my rows. I lifting!
What is SL 5X5s? Other people have mentioned it and I have never heard of it?
Stronglifts 5X5. There's a website and an app, if you want to check it out. Not promoting anything!
stronglifts.com
Ahhhh I will check it out!0 -
Yeah, your posts are one of the reasons this thread is great.pofoster21 wrote: »
Ditto!quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
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pofoster21 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Today is my second day in a row that I haven't binged. I hope to stop binging & maybe I'll set a reward system like I did with weight loss. Before I started binging I was around 153 now I'm up to about 160 which was what my original goal weight was going to be anyway, but I would like to eventually lose a little more. For right now I am going to set my calories around 1973 & try to eat around that amount everyday but if I go over some days I am NOT going to BEAT myself up & try to make up for it in another day.
Last night I confessed I was hungry at 11:33 & wasn't going to eat anything but decided to eat a Quest bar, because I hate going to bed hungry.
I also ordered New Rules Of Lifting For Women on Amazon & hope to get it soon.
You can do this! I think I'm getting better at sticking to my own calorie goal by taking all the restricted foods I was hiding from and throwing that label out of the window. I honestly feel MUCH less like baking all the foods, eating all the foods, and drowning my sorrows in more of the food when I have it all sitting right there in my fridge, just being food.
As I told my husband yesterday: I messed up big time because I was tired, and whether I had those foods in my fridge or not, the outcome would have been exactly the same--just because I was able to make cookies (and proceed to eat too many of them) doesn't change the fact that I would have pigged out on anything else that was available if I didn't have cookie ingredients available, for example.
And you know what's really awesome? Normally I would have made the cookies, eaten ALL the cookies, and then gobbled down the remaining chocolate chips. This time, yes, I ate too many of them (7), but I then put the rest away into the freezer, and I didn't even feel the urge to touch the chocolate chips because "those are for baking". Since I can bake whenever I want, I don't need to get them out of the house by eating them just so I don't mess up tomorrow.
Does that make sense? My husband had a really hard time understanding my feeling of making progress when I had blown my calorie goal so badly, but I told him that you guys (and anyone else with disordered food issues or weight issues) would understand it.
Baby steps! That is what this 'journey' is all about. (Sorry to those of you who cringe at the word 'journey'. It was too apropos )
Why do people cringe at the term journey? I have never understood that?
I don't either, I wasn't aware that people didn't like that word?
People complain about it in other threads (when I used to have time to visit them) and I never understood it. I do feel like this is a journey so I like the word!0 -
kelly_c_77 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »smashley_mashley wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »I can barely eat rice as rice, I do not understand eating it as dessert when there are so many better things out there!!
Big Brother people - I just saw a clip of Audrey (transgender houseguest) being interviewed by Jeff Schroeder.....I do not know why they keep using him to do interviews and stuff for that show....he is a jerk....ugh
Julie just got choked up talking about said house guest saying that she hopes fans watch with an open heart and an open mind and learn something about a community they might not know about
I haven't watched any of the interviews...but what makes you say that Jeff is a jerk? I've always thought he was a sweet, silly, fun guy. I loved both him and Jordan.
As did I. I loved watching Jordan on Amazing Race, I just wish that she made it further. Never could stand Rachel.
I could not stand Rachel, ugh.
Did you not find that Jeff treated Jordan pretty poorly during AR?
Rachel irritated the crap out of me. I always feel like Jeff talks down to Jordan; like just sit there and be pretty, but don't talk.
YES! He is homophobic AND misogynistic!
Clearly, I need to pay better attention. Maybe because I didn't watch Amazing Race...or was it like this when they were on BB too?
I do not watch AR normally but did only that one season to see Jordan (I love her)....and I found he was really mean to her, he yelled at her a lot and like another poster said, he treats her like she is stupid a lot of the time.
The homophobic stuff was from Big Brother, but did not air on TV, but it was all over the TMZ type news about crap he kept saying....its been years and I do not remember exactly what he said for most of it, but the one that really stuck with me was he was arguing with other people in the house because they were talking about how the headmaster of the school in the Harry Potter series was a gay character (I don't know the names, never read or saw any HP ever), and Jeff kept going on about how stupid that was because you would never put a gay person in charge of a bunch of kids.....really? REALLY?? WTF Jeff???0 -
smashley_mashley wrote: »
I just figured it is because she is so ignorant of the world. I've seen worse pairings on AR (e.g. The surgeon and pediatric nurse blind date this past season - she was brutal!)Italian_Buju wrote: »smashley_mashley wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »I can barely eat rice as rice, I do not understand eating it as dessert when there are so many better things out there!!
Big Brother people - I just saw a clip of Audrey (transgender houseguest) being interviewed by Jeff Schroeder.....I do not know why they keep using him to do interviews and stuff for that show....he is a jerk....ugh
Julie just got choked up talking about said house guest saying that she hopes fans watch with an open heart and an open mind and learn something about a community they might not know about
I haven't watched any of the interviews...but what makes you say that Jeff is a jerk? I've always thought he was a sweet, silly, fun guy. I loved both him and Jordan.
As did I. I loved watching Jordan on Amazing Race, I just wish that she made it further. Never could stand Rachel.
I could not stand Rachel, ugh.
Did you not find that Jeff treated Jordan pretty poorly during AR?
I have only ever watched that one season, so I have no idea how others treat their partners.0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »Confession: I stayed up later than my husband last night because I needed to exercise. I had planned to go in and snuggle with him after, but when I got there the cat was in my spot and I ended up cuddling the cat instead while reading my book. Wife fail.
But kitty mama win![/quote]
Agreed! Kitty mama win!! Kitties need cuddling, too![/quote]
Currently buried under cats!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
Ditto!
Yes @Susieq_1994 I agree. I had some Muslim students but I never discussed religion with them, only chemistry. You have taught me a lot.
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riderfangal wrote: »Rant for the day. I offered to take my ex with my son and I when we go camping this weekend for Fathers day. At first he was all for it BUT because we can't leave exactly when he wanted to due to the fact I have a Dr appointment he threw a fit and now he is not coming. The irony of it is the Drs office just called to change the date of my visit so we could have went when he wanted to leave after all. Confession I might have sent him a snarky text telling him this. I shouldn't let him get under my skin or even offer to do things with/for him because I just get angry in the end and my son ends up being disappointed as well. Is it bad to wish he would just disappear off the face of the earth.
Well now you can enjoy the day with no tension. Total win in my book!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Does anyone get in food ruts? There's nothing I want to eat, so whatever I make doesn't really satisfie me... I guess that's why I've been snacking so much the last couple days.
I hate this! I tell myself that I will eat better tomorrow but I can't even think of anything I want to have for breakfast... that just sucks. Nothing just sounds appealing. Except junk. I'm feeling gross and disappointed in myself for eating 700 calories over maintenance today... mostly from granola bars etc.
I pretty much eat the same thing every day. When I don't eat that thing I get sad and wish I had eaten it. I like my food rut. Then I get tired and switch to a new habit!
Me too! Current food obsession: Peanut butter chocolate oatmeal. I get so sad if I don't get to eat it every day, it feels like I missed something awesome.
Exactly how I feel when I switch it up. Not sure I would love peanut butter chocolate oatmeal though. That just doesn't sound appealing though I love peanut butter.
I imagine it tasting like a gigantic no bake cookie.
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@orangesmartie You are a strong, amazing, tough, caring wonderful woman. You have had a lot going on in your life lately. Keep that chin of yours up and keep moving straight ahead. You can do this and you have greatly impressed me. 0
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newfutures wrote: »
No, I haven't, and I'd probably un-friend anyone who did. I rarely have time (or interest, to be honest) to look at anyone else's diary, and I'd find it disconcerting if someone started giving me a hard time about my butter consumption.kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »I like being friends with the people from this thread.
Because I know nobody will put their judgy pants on when they see my diary.
Have you guys seriously had people judge you about your diaries?
I don't recall ever having anyone judge anything I ate but I think I had someone question me about my sodium intake a few times.
The only time I would judge someone about their food diary or delete them would be from them eating under 1,000 calories everyday.
I would only give constructive criticism if someone asked for it & usually only looked at food diaries to see if I could get any new food ideas. Personally I found looking at food diaries to be tedious.
Mmmm, butter.
I only look at my friend's food diaries if a) I have the time, b) there were a lot of comments made about it, c) to see if they had Dr. Pepper and still managed to stay under their goal, d) curiosity, e) new food ideas, or f) boredom and waiting for this thread to catch up.
I love dr. pepper. today I made my whole days plan around a bottle of dr. pepper. totally made it work! and had room for a monster pop
If I had a vice, Dr. Pepper would definitely be it. I've managed to go all week without it though so I'm pretty proud. Trying to prevent massive bloating before my vacation.
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pofoster21 wrote: »
Back (way back) in my early 20's I took Dexatrim every day. I painted every room in my house, landscaped my yard and chased a toddler while I lost weight. I don't think I slept at all. I might have eaten something, once, but I'm not sure.xMrBunglex wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Can I just say how awesome this thread has become?
Yes, it started out about trash bags, peanut butter, and hot chocolate powder, but it has evolved into a community within the MFP community where people actually CARE and SUPPORT one another through stupid decisions, horrible situations, and hilarious escapades.
You all rock. And if I wasn't super lazy, I would finally get around to friend requesting the rest of the regular posters.
Super great.
Speaking of stupid decisions, I confess that when I was 20 (way back in 1989...YIKES), I was living on my own for the first time. Cut all my rocker hair off & was bummed how fat I looked.
I then went on a crash diet that consisted of the following:
Breakfast: Can of Diet Coke
Morning Snack: Can of Diet Coke
Lunch: Turkey sandwich (2 pieces of bread, 1 slice of deli turkey, 1 slice of deli swiss, mustard)
Afternoon Snack: Can of Diet Coke
Workout: 45-60 minutes on a cheap-*kitten* rowing machine I had in my apartment
Dinner: 6 pack of Bud Light tall boys
I was a chubby 210 lbs when I started, and a thin 165 after 4 months. From there I started weight training.
I'd get slaughtered for suggesting this in 2015, but....I lived to tell the tale
Edited to add: Just did the MFP calculator:
1100 in
497 out
BMR: 1,985
Daily Deficit: 1,382
that's about 3 lbs per week - the maths add up!
It was the 80's, don't judge.
They have long since taken that Dextatrim off the market. It was nice to get sooooooo much done but I don't think I'd do that again anyway.
The advantage of being young is the general ability to bounce back from short term bad choices.
I LOVED that Dexatrim. I totally lost weight on it. I have tried diet pills in the last few years, and they were useless. I gave up.
Once they banned ephedrine, none of the diet pills worked for anyone. Oh the '80's.....
And they cost a ridiculous amount now. Tried a few kinds and just threw them out. Total waste of $.0 -
About 1000.TigerNY128 wrote: »LadyAbsynthe wrote: »I've eaten 1600 calories today. My mother tactfully mentioned that we have lots of vegetables I could be eating. I should have eaten less I should be eating less. I feel awful.
What is your calorie goal?
Second confession: before I was vegan, when we were really poor, there was a store about a mile from my house that had these ridiculous sales on ice cream, like 5 cartons for $10. One day there were a couple of people in front of the freezer saying things like "who buys 5 things of ice cream?!"
I was like "excuse me, can you move over? I need to pick out my 5 flavors of ice cream pls." They lasted for... a very short time.
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pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Does anyone get in food ruts? There's nothing I want to eat, so whatever I make doesn't really satisfie me... I guess that's why I've been snacking so much the last couple days.
I hate this! I tell myself that I will eat better tomorrow but I can't even think of anything I want to have for breakfast... that just sucks. Nothing just sounds appealing. Except junk. I'm feeling gross and disappointed in myself for eating 700 calories over maintenance today... mostly from granola bars etc.
I pretty much eat the same thing every day. When I don't eat that thing I get sad and wish I had eaten it. I like my food rut. Then I get tired and switch to a new habit!
Me too! Current food obsession: Peanut butter chocolate oatmeal. I get so sad if I don't get to eat it every day, it feels like I missed something awesome.
Exactly how I feel when I switch it up. Not sure I would love peanut butter chocolate oatmeal though. That just doesn't sound appealing though I love peanut butter.
I imagine it tasting like a gigantic no bake cookie.
Still kind of feel it would be gross.0 -
0
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Yah you! Way to go. (sending no bloat wishes your way)newfutures wrote: »
No, I haven't, and I'd probably un-friend anyone who did. I rarely have time (or interest, to be honest) to look at anyone else's diary, and I'd find it disconcerting if someone started giving me a hard time about my butter consumption.kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »I like being friends with the people from this thread.
Because I know nobody will put their judgy pants on when they see my diary.
Have you guys seriously had people judge you about your diaries?
I don't recall ever having anyone judge anything I ate but I think I had someone question me about my sodium intake a few times.
The only time I would judge someone about their food diary or delete them would be from them eating under 1,000 calories everyday.
I would only give constructive criticism if someone asked for it & usually only looked at food diaries to see if I could get any new food ideas. Personally I found looking at food diaries to be tedious.
Mmmm, butter.
I only look at my friend's food diaries if a) I have the time, b) there were a lot of comments made about it, c) to see if they had Dr. Pepper and still managed to stay under their goal, d) curiosity, e) new food ideas, or f) boredom and waiting for this thread to catch up.
I love dr. pepper. today I made my whole days plan around a bottle of dr. pepper. totally made it work! and had room for a monster pop
If I had a vice, Dr. Pepper would definitely be it. I've managed to go all week without it though so I'm pretty proud. Trying to prevent massive bloating before my vacation.
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Does this happen often? I knew that diabetes could be tough to control, but I didn't realise how finicky it could be. I'm really sorry you have to deal with this.Italian_Buju wrote: »I have a rant today:
I am having a "I hate diabetes' day.....not that I ever love it, but today it is really upsetting me.
This morning I slept in, it was the first day I did not have to get up and make lunch for my son. I came online for a bit and then noticed it was getting late and I had to get to my PT appt. So, I just had some toast for breakfast, LIKE A NORMAL PERSON MIGHT. I got into the shower,, and was so dizzy I nearly fell over. I felt sick for a long while. When I got to the office, I check my blood sugar and it is literally three times what it should be.
Why? Not because I did not take my shot or because I ate too much sugar....but because I did not have enough protein to slow the speed of the carbs in the rye toast (which has a lower GI level, which is why I eat it instead of my beloved "Italian" bread).
I have been sick all day because of that one mistake. It is after 6pm and I have not even been able to eat anything yet and I never made it to the gym. Even though my blood sugar is normal now, the rush high and crash low has made me tired and sick. I have a headache and just want to go to bed....
But, I must go put in the laundry now, and clean the kitchen, and deliver packages for our meeting next week.....UGH
It does not happen often because I am on top of it. I actually am amazed by diabetics that can just do whatever and not worry about it...I am super on top of crap. I have had it 27+ years though, some have it and are just feeling high and sick all the time so they do not know what it feels like to feel good.
It is finicky...I have to make sure I have a good protein carb ratio, I have to make sure that I take my shot within a certain period of time before eating, depending on the reading....I have to test ten times a day to make sure I know what I am at....I have to make sure I am at 8 before exercise so I do not bottom out, I have to make sure I stop eating four hours before bed so I can have my last shot or I wake up high....it never ends!
I have to make sure I do not get too hot because long term diabetics have an impaired ability to sweat and cool their own bodies, I am not allowed to cut my own toe nails, I have to get it done every four weeks because I -might- cause an infection cutting too far down, or slightly sideways.....I take three medications that cause weight gain, and one of them is weight based, so the more I gain, the more I need, the more I take, the easier to gain....
Like I said in a earlier post, I have long term anemia caused by (they are assuming at this point), long term diabetes...I do not produce enough red blood cells, and it makes me out of breath and tired all the time....and sometimes dizzy....
I have a million and one appts every month, needing to get my feet checked, my eyes checked, my kidney checked, my heart checked, because everything is affected.
To give a good idea....insurance rates for a type one diabetic are in the same class as a cancer survivor (in remission) and someone HIV positive (not full blown AIDS).......a lot of people think you take your shots and it is not a big deal, but it is attacking me from the inside out constantly.....I have a few friends that have had diabetes for about half the time I have, and three of them have had heart attacks, and one just lost two toes (and nearly her foot), and is now going blind.
Sorry for the downer rant....I am a bit pissy about having it today.....0
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