Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

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  • Italian_Buju
    Italian_Buju Posts: 8,030 Member
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    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    Oh, I am such a bad mother! My son is in the middle of diploma exams - I checked the calendar a dozen times and wrote down that his last two exams are on Monday. Got a call from the school at 9.34 saying that he should be in an exam right now and that they'd let him in if he got there by 10.00. I hauled him out of bed and thrust the car keys in his hand. He should be able to get there on time. I'm shaking. How could I have messed up so badly? :'(

    Everyone makes mistakes! If we were bad parents for simple mistakes we made, there would not be ANY good parents on the entire planet!!
  • riderfangal
    riderfangal Posts: 1,965 Member
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    Just had to share. Flowers delivered to me and a co-worker today from a producer we buy and move grain from just because.
  • Oberon21
    Oberon21 Posts: 13,235 Member
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    FroggyBug wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    I did it. I messaged my stepdaughter. This is what I said.

    "You need to message your dad. He needs to talk to you, but you haven't returned his text message. Also, Sunday is Father's Day and I didn't know if you were planning on being around."

    It was probably not the nicest message, but it's a lot nicer than what I wanted to say which is this.

    Come pick up your cat from hell, give me my key, get your stuff, and get out. You obviously don't want to be a part of our lives and I'm not going to be your storage unit and cat's caretaker anymore. Your dad has tried really hard to make sure you feel a part of our family, we all have, and you've done nothing but take advantage of that and I've had enough. Oh, and I expect you to have a check for $400 for your tags to your dad by Monday.

    Every time I think about her and what's been going on, I get so angry and want to cry (that's probably more PMS) and I just hoped when she came into our lives, things would be so different. I'm sad now. :'(

    (HUGS) I'm so sorry. That is a very messed up situation and I feel bad for you and your husband. I do have to say I respect that you worded your message to her so nicely. It's hard to do when you are upset. I really hope that she does come over to talk to her dad (poor guy).

    I also feel bad for the cat. I know he is tearing up your stuff but it might be because he feels neglected by your stepdaughter and is acting out. I can't stand it when people abandon their pets. She must not really care about the cat too much. I wouldn't blame you if you did end up dropping him off at a shelter. It shouldn't be something you have to worry about.

    I feel bad for the cat too. I keep wanting to say put her on a plane and I'll take her (but I ALREADY HAVE 4!).
  • Italian_Buju
    Italian_Buju Posts: 8,030 Member
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    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    Oh, I am such a bad mother! My son is in the middle of diploma exams - I checked the calendar a dozen times and wrote down that his last two exams are on Monday. Got a call from the school at 9.34 saying that he should be in an exam right now and that they'd let him in if he got there by 10.00. I hauled him out of bed and thrust the car keys in his hand. He should be able to get there on time. I'm shaking. How could I have messed up so badly? :'(
    And now I feel worse because my husband asked why I didn't drive him to school. I don't know why - I should have, I was just in such a panic I wasn't thinking straight.

    Not judging, but if he's old enough to drive...why isn't he keeping his own exam schedule?

    I kinda thought that, too. (But not judging!)
    Special needs kid. Not good at organising himself. Trusts his useless mother to do it for him.
    I called the school and he did get there in time. So he wasn't prepared, but at least he's there.

    Gotcha. Sorry.

    ETA: I remember that now. Confession: I suck at remembering everyone's life details.

    Me too! There are a lot of things to keep up with here and my memory is almost nonexistent......
  • Oberon21
    Oberon21 Posts: 13,235 Member
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    BZAH10 wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    I have to confess, that when a new person to our village (that's what I like to call it) posts a reply to one of the ancient posts, I skip those because 9 times out of ten, it's in reference to the stupid hot chocolate powder. I can only read people eat powder so many times. How are they not chocking on the dust?!

    I cannot imagine eating the powder myself. I see gasping for breath as the result. I'm pretty sure that is the #1 re-quoted post, though. Crazy the number of times it is quoted!

    I think the drowning of the peanut butter is a close 2nd.
  • Kalici
    Kalici Posts: 685 Member
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    kecmw25 wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    kecmw25 wrote: »
    You guys are super chatty! I didn't check this thread over the weekend and it took me until today to get caught up!

    I don't usually send friend requests but will if someone says "add me" because I really like having friends on here but please don't judge my diary because it has been a mess lately.

    No judging, remember? We're not allowed to wear judgey pants with anyone inside our village even if we're not IN the village at the time.

    I really wasn't trying to be judgey! What part did you think was bad? That I called you guys chatty? or when I said my diary has been a mess?

    I don't think she was saying you were being judgey. I think she was saying there would be no judging on your diary because you're part of this village even if your diary exists outside of it!

  • Oberon21
    Oberon21 Posts: 13,235 Member
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    fr3smyl wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    *whining* Guuuuuys (Well, girls...)! I got two new abuse flags. I'm curious and I want to know what posts they were on! I hate this anonymous flagging thing--I NEED TO KNOW WHAT GOT FLAGGED. I don't care who flagged it, I just want to know what I said that was apparently so offensive! :o (I actually went back to see if it was my reply to MrFitness, but it wasn't. And that's like... The rudest post I've ever made on this forum. Who would have thought!)
    *end of whining*

    Maybe you will end up in MFP jail soon :o
    So young yet such a rebel!!!

    How do you know you have been flagged, do they send you a message or something?

    When you go to "All Notifications" (you can find that by clicking on the bell at the top right of the screen) there's a list of how many times you've been flagged. I have one for spam (from my spammy pimples post) and four for abuse (two of which I happen to know came from a joke post that apparently offended some people). The other two are new, and I want to know where they came from! :o

    The mods only send you a warning if THEY find your posts against the TOS. They pretty much ignore random flags that don't make sense. By the by, @JPW1990 has been banned. If you go backwards through the thread, you'll find that her profile picture is now bright red and says "User banned; keep calm and carry on."

    This makes me sad. I really enjoyed her posts. I will miss her.
    When people are banned, is it forever? I know when I read zombie threads, often there will be unfamiliar user names that are now banned. I have a mental picture of them wandering the weightloss wilderness forever, banished and never allowed to return.

    Haha! I saw zombie threads and didn't know you meant ghost threads. I was wondering about connection between zombies and MFP.

    ...you're not taking about zombies right?
    Running from them would be good weight loss though.

    They do have Zombie runs. You get to pick if you are going to be a Zombie (and try and catch people) or you are running from the Zombies. I want to try one!
  • Italian_Buju
    Italian_Buju Posts: 8,030 Member
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    BZAH10 wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    Oh, I am such a bad mother! My son is in the middle of diploma exams - I checked the calendar a dozen times and wrote down that his last two exams are on Monday. Got a call from the school at 9.34 saying that he should be in an exam right now and that they'd let him in if he got there by 10.00. I hauled him out of bed and thrust the car keys in his hand. He should be able to get there on time. I'm shaking. How could I have messed up so badly? :'(
    And now I feel worse because my husband asked why I didn't drive him to school. I don't know why - I should have, I was just in such a panic I wasn't thinking straight.

    Not judging, but if he's old enough to drive...why isn't he keeping his own exam schedule?

    I kinda thought that, too. (But not judging!)
    Special needs kid. Not good at organising himself. Trusts his useless loving, helpful (who can't do it all, sometimes makes mistakes, but will always try her best) mother to do it for him.
    I called the school and he did get there in time. So he wasn't prepared, but at least he's there.

    Fixed that for you!
    Thank you. I hadn't cried yet, but that pushed me over the edge. :)

    Sorry to make you cry! I can't classify my youngest son as special needs, but holy hell, that child is the KING of procrastination! I felt completely overwhelmed when he was in school, but now that he owns his own house and vehicles and is "independent"??? So much worse. I know I shouldn't worry and just let him figure it all out on his own, but he will completely ignore mail, forget to pay bills, not keep up with dental and medical appts., the list goes on.

    Just to say I can relate to having to try to take care of everything. It's exhausting. Glad your son made it to the test and I'm sure he will do just fine!

    My daughter is the Queen.
  • Italian_Buju
    Italian_Buju Posts: 8,030 Member
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    MoHousdon wrote: »
    Fitness related confession: I attempted to do my HIIT workout last night, and by attempt, I mean, I made 2 rather pathetic rounds skipping some exercises as to not injure myself further. I think I actually DID injure myself further. My ankle was really swollen last night and my leg was really sore. I really hate that I got hurt so close to my vacation and I can't do a proper workout because of it.

    Non-fitness related confession: My husband FINALLY messaged his daughter (actually, she messaged him after my request yesterday [small victory?]) and she is coming by Saturday because he told her he wants to talk to her in person. I am glad he finally did this and I hope he doesn't chicken out and lays down the law with her. I'm not sure if I will be present or not because I told my daughter I'd take her Father's Day shopping Saturday and I also have an eye appointment to get my trial contacts checked. A part of me wants to be there to support him, but a part of me knows me, and fears I might say something I'll regret. Not sure which part of me will win yet. Positive thoughts are appreciated.

    On a related note, when I got home last night, I noticed her cat has managed to tear about a 4" hole in my carpet in the doorway of the room she's staying in. I was so irate that I started screaming at this stupid cat and telling her I hate her and she's got to leave. She didn't understand what I was saying and I am sure she didn't care because she proceeded to tear at the carpet once the door was closed again.


    Unrelated but relevant to something I mentioned yesterday: I asked my husband about whether or not we're going to exchange anniversary presents and he said he thought we'd just do some shopping for each other while we're down there. I am on board with this idea especially since I already have an idea of what I want to buy him. He also mentioned that what he wanted to get me we couldn't afford but could make payments on it. I told him I didn't want any more payments and he said not even for a ring?! I love that man!

    Sorry so long, but I had a lot to say.

    tl;dr: I hurt myself working out, stepdaughter's supposed to talk to husband Saturday, and I may be getting a new ring. :smiley:

    The cat is staying in a room? Like by herself without much contact?? This REALLY bothers me....she must be going stir crazy, that is not good for her mental health....no wonder she is tearing *kitten* up, she must be bored and lonely.

    If you do not want the cat,, please take her to a shelter or something, TODAY. If her mental health deteriorates enough, she will never be the same again. She may not even be able to mold properly into a family if she is in there too long.

    PLEASE please do not leave that poor animal in there any longer, take her somewhere and give her a chance!

    Since she is your daughter's cat, talk to your daughter about either re-homing the cat or getting her some toys to stimulate her mind. She's bored and wants companionship and interaction!

    BTW, yelling at the cat only shows her that her destructive ways are getting her attention (not the good kind but attention none the less) and she will repeat the behavior unless it is redirected in an appropriate way with toys or some form of good interaction. She can't help what she's doing...she doesn't know it's wrong...she's begging for attention.

    I foster cats...mostly tiny kittens (some newborns who come with their kitty mom)...and I make sure they are well socialized before they go up for adoption (including mom). Only one of my foster kittens "failed"...he's special needs and I adopted him. I have a lot of work to do with him but he's coming around socially. He went from being a terrified special needs kitty to a very loving special needs kitty. He's almost 8 months old...I've had him 4 months. We'll have medical issues to deal with over the next few years but he's worth it. I get my next group of fosters on the 23rd...a calico mama and her 4 newborns.

    I would not even wait to talk to the daughter, it is obvious she does not care about the cat. Just do what needs to be done for the sake of the cat and yourself!
  • Italian_Buju
    Italian_Buju Posts: 8,030 Member
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    MoHousdon wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    Fitness related confession: I attempted to do my HIIT workout last night, and by attempt, I mean, I made 2 rather pathetic rounds skipping some exercises as to not injure myself further. I think I actually DID injure myself further. My ankle was really swollen last night and my leg was really sore. I really hate that I got hurt so close to my vacation and I can't do a proper workout because of it.

    Non-fitness related confession: My husband FINALLY messaged his daughter (actually, she messaged him after my request yesterday [small victory?]) and she is coming by Saturday because he told her he wants to talk to her in person. I am glad he finally did this and I hope he doesn't chicken out and lays down the law with her. I'm not sure if I will be present or not because I told my daughter I'd take her Father's Day shopping Saturday and I also have an eye appointment to get my trial contacts checked. A part of me wants to be there to support him, but a part of me knows me, and fears I might say something I'll regret. Not sure which part of me will win yet. Positive thoughts are appreciated.

    On a related note, when I got home last night, I noticed her cat has managed to tear about a 4" hole in my carpet in the doorway of the room she's staying in. I was so irate that I started screaming at this stupid cat and telling her I hate her and she's got to leave. She didn't understand what I was saying and I am sure she didn't care because she proceeded to tear at the carpet once the door was closed again.


    Unrelated but relevant to something I mentioned yesterday: I asked my husband about whether or not we're going to exchange anniversary presents and he said he thought we'd just do some shopping for each other while we're down there. I am on board with this idea especially since I already have an idea of what I want to buy him. He also mentioned that what he wanted to get me we couldn't afford but could make payments on it. I told him I didn't want any more payments and he said not even for a ring?! I love that man!

    Sorry so long, but I had a lot to say.

    tl;dr: I hurt myself working out, stepdaughter's supposed to talk to husband Saturday, and I may be getting a new ring. :smiley:

    The cat is staying in a room? Like by herself without much contact?? This REALLY bothers me....she must be going stir crazy, that is not good for her mental health....no wonder she is tearing *kitten* up, she must be bored and lonely.

    If you do not want the cat,, please take her to a shelter or something, TODAY. If her mental health deteriorates enough, she will never be the same again. She may not even be able to mold properly into a family if she is in there too long.

    PLEASE please do not leave that poor animal in there any longer, take her somewhere and give her a chance!

    I don't want to keep her in the room, but that's how she's lived her whole life and I think that's why she is the way she is. She's crazy. We let her out when we get home and my daughter will let her out if she's home during the day, and she'll stay out for a few minutes and then bolt back in there. I know it sounds horrible that we're keeping her locked in room all the time, but we're not. I just don't know what to do. I feel bad for her, but she's not my cat and I don't want to take care of her.

    You should not be forced to take care of her. She is crazy because of the way her owner (not you, the step daughter) is/has treated her. She needs to be re homed with someone that can spend the time to undo all the damage that has been done.
  • Kalici
    Kalici Posts: 685 Member
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    xMrBunglex wrote: »
    Kalici wrote: »
    xMrBunglex wrote: »
    I confess that I'm pretty irritated that I took a new profile pic 3 days ago & it still isn't showing up as my avatar....anyone know if I'm missing a setting or something? I already made it my "main" pic.

    Have you tried logging in and out? It didn't update mine till I did that. I'm way behind on posts, so apologies if you've already tried that.

    Success! Thanks


    Woot! You're welcome. :)
  • SoulOfRusalka
    SoulOfRusalka Posts: 1,201 Member
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    BZAH10 wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    Oh, I am such a bad mother! My son is in the middle of diploma exams - I checked the calendar a dozen times and wrote down that his last two exams are on Monday. Got a call from the school at 9.34 saying that he should be in an exam right now and that they'd let him in if he got there by 10.00. I hauled him out of bed and thrust the car keys in his hand. He should be able to get there on time. I'm shaking. How could I have messed up so badly? :'(
    And now I feel worse because my husband asked why I didn't drive him to school. I don't know why - I should have, I was just in such a panic I wasn't thinking straight.

    Not judging, but if he's old enough to drive...why isn't he keeping his own exam schedule?

    I kinda thought that, too. (But not judging!)
    Special needs kid. Not good at organising himself. Trusts his useless loving, helpful (who can't do it all, sometimes makes mistakes, but will always try her best) mother to do it for him.
    I called the school and he did get there in time. So he wasn't prepared, but at least he's there.

    Fixed that for you!
    Thank you. I hadn't cried yet, but that pushed me over the edge. :)

    Sorry to make you cry! I can't classify my youngest son as special needs, but holy hell, that child is the KING of procrastination! I felt completely overwhelmed when he was in school, but now that he owns his own house and vehicles and is "independent"??? So much worse. I know I shouldn't worry and just let him figure it all out on his own, but he will completely ignore mail, forget to pay bills, not keep up with dental and medical appts., the list goes on.

    Just to say I can relate to having to try to take care of everything. It's exhausting. Glad your son made it to the test and I'm sure he will do just fine!

    My daughter is the Queen.

    I can be the prime minister, then
  • Oberon21
    Oberon21 Posts: 13,235 Member
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    FroggyBug wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    FroggyBug wrote: »
    FroggyBug wrote: »
    FroggyBug wrote: »
    nonoelmo wrote: »
    FroggyBug wrote: »
    @bkhamill -I'm glad you are ok.

    @nonoelmo -you do have perfect hair for your costume. :)

    My boyfriend still isn't here. I'm wondering if he will bother showing up.
    Thank you.

    I'm sad for you about your boyfriend. Is this a pattern or one time /first time?


    First time thing. Sigh. Oh well.


    Anyway, I hope you all have a good weekend!

    Wasn't this the day you were supposed to have the "talk"? Or am I completely wrong

    Yes, he decided he was too tired to come over which caused another fight. We did end up talking Saturday. I'm going to try to work things out but I'm still torn. I want to try therapy and then if nothing changes, I'm done. :(

    My heart physically hurts because I want to stay but yet leave. When things are good they are wonderful but I don't know if I can forgive, forget and trust again. That's why I want to try therapy first.

    Now to catch up with the rest of the thread.

    Can I ask a question, I apologise if it's intrusive. I'm guessing from some of the things you've said you live apart? But you said you've been together 11 years. Is moving in together something you've discussed? And if so what has stopped you?


    Sorry I just saw this. Yea we live apart. We stay together (or used to-not so much now) a lot though. We had planned on moving in together but things keep getting in the way. I seriously think he is someone who doesn't want to make a serious commitment. That is one reason why I don't think this will work either way.

    It sucks that I'm so in love with someone that I will probably have to leave someday. I just don't know how I'm going to get through everything.

    That just breaks my heart. I'm so sorry you've invested so much time in someone that doesn't seem to feel the same way. That really sucks. I wish you all the best because you deserve to be happy regardless if that's with or without someone else. Hugs to you, friend.

    Thank you. He was a no show again last night (after he told me he would try to make me a priority...that shows me how important I am). I think he is done. :(

    I have been reading and reading hoping to get back to this before I have to leave for the barn (I prefer to respond to the original posts so people can see what I am responding to and I don't repeat) but... Get rid of him. Don't 'think' he is done. Be done. This is a clear sign, and even if its not, anyone that inconsiderate needs to be removed from your life. I decided a long time time ago that if people aren't adding to your life, they should be removed. You are clearly a wonderful person, you will find the right one eventually, but you deserve better than this.

    Adding my hugs. Keep posting we are are here for you!
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
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    I am addicted to...... sprinkles.
  • Oberon21
    Oberon21 Posts: 13,235 Member
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    kelly_c_77 wrote: »
    Checking in from page 918. I spent the last 37 hours in bed. No joke. On average, my Fitbit tells me I take 27,000 steps a day. Yesterday, my total was 414. I got so unbelievably sick Monday afternoon that I called my husband home from work early so I could rest. After lots and lots of vomiting(sorry) and sleeping and a tiny bit of food yesterday, I'm feeling much better. Not quite 100% but ok enough that my husband went back to work today (he took yesterday off because we don't have anyone else to help watch our son). Anyway, while I am very thankful that my husband took time off from work checking in on me and making sure I had everything I needed and he kept our son happy, fed, (and alive)...holy cow, the house(kitchen mostly) was a disaster! Like I said, I was literally in bed for 37 hours except for bathroom trips so when I came downstairs this morning...OMG! Dishes, crumbs, empty cans, cat's water bowl just about empty,..etc etc. Thank goodness I'm back to join the living because I'm afraid to see what the house would have looked like after another day without me!
    Hope everyone else is doing well..I've got some catching up to do...in between cleaning!! ;)
    ETA: I hope I don't sound b*tchy...I really do appreciate my husband..so, so much for so many things beyond helping me when I am sick. I think it's just nice to see that I am needed..he got a glimpse into my day as a stay at home mom...it's not just all relaxing with our son playing games, and having fun. There's cleaning, laundry, dishes, and meals to be made, cats to take care of, etc. etc.
    Ok enough.

    Glad you are feeling better!
  • Italian_Buju
    Italian_Buju Posts: 8,030 Member
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    kelly_c_77 wrote: »
    I can barely eat rice as rice, I do not understand eating it as dessert when there are so many better things out there!!

    Big Brother people - I just saw a clip of Audrey (transgender houseguest) being interviewed by Jeff Schroeder.....I do not know why they keep using him to do interviews and stuff for that show....he is a jerk....ugh

    Julie just got choked up talking about said house guest saying that she hopes fans watch with an open heart and an open mind and learn something about a community they might not know about <3

    I haven't watched any of the interviews...but what makes you say that Jeff is a jerk? I've always thought he was a sweet, silly, fun guy. I loved both him and Jordan.

    As did I. I loved watching Jordan on Amazing Race, I just wish that she made it further. Never could stand Rachel.

    I could not stand Rachel, ugh.

    Did you not find that Jeff treated Jordan pretty poorly during AR?

    Rachel irritated the crap out of me. I always feel like Jeff talks down to Jordan; like just sit there and be pretty, but don't talk.

    YES! He is homophobic AND misogynistic!
  • nonoelmo
    nonoelmo Posts: 3,941 Member
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    pofoster21 wrote: »
    FroggyBug wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    FroggyBug wrote: »
    FroggyBug wrote: »
    FroggyBug wrote: »
    nonoelmo wrote: »
    FroggyBug wrote: »
    @bkhamill -I'm glad you are ok.

    @nonoelmo -you do have perfect hair for your costume. :)

    My boyfriend still isn't here. I'm wondering if he will bother showing up.
    Thank you.

    I'm sad for you about your boyfriend. Is this a pattern or one time /first time?


    First time thing. Sigh. Oh well.


    Anyway, I hope you all have a good weekend!

    Wasn't this the day you were supposed to have the "talk"? Or am I completely wrong

    Yes, he decided he was too tired to come over which caused another fight. We did end up talking Saturday. I'm going to try to work things out but I'm still torn. I want to try therapy and then if nothing changes, I'm done. :(

    My heart physically hurts because I want to stay but yet leave. When things are good they are wonderful but I don't know if I can forgive, forget and trust again. That's why I want to try therapy first.

    Now to catch up with the rest of the thread.

    Can I ask a question, I apologise if it's intrusive. I'm guessing from some of the things you've said you live apart? But you said you've been together 11 years. Is moving in together something you've discussed? And if so what has stopped you?


    Sorry I just saw this. Yea we live apart. We stay together (or used to-not so much now) a lot though. We had planned on moving in together but things keep getting in the way. I seriously think he is someone who doesn't want to make a serious commitment. That is one reason why I don't think this will work either way.

    It sucks that I'm so in love with someone that I will probably have to leave someday. I just don't know how I'm going to get through everything.

    That just breaks my heart. I'm so sorry you've invested so much time in someone that doesn't seem to feel the same way. That really sucks. I wish you all the best because you deserve to be happy regardless if that's with or without someone else. Hugs to you, friend.

    Thank you. He was a no show again last night (after he told me he would try to make me a priority...that shows me how important I am). I think he is done. :(

    I have been reading and reading hoping to get back to this before I have to leave for the barn (I prefer to respond to the original posts so people can see what I am responding to and I don't repeat) but... Get rid of him. Don't 'think' he is done. Be done. This is a clear sign, and even if its not, anyone that inconsiderate needs to be removed from your life. I decided a long time time ago that if people aren't adding to your life, they should be removed. You are clearly a wonderful person, you will find the right one eventually, but you deserve better than this.

    Adding my hugs. Keep posting we are are here for you!
    YES! 100% yes. I can't express how strongly I agree with this especially the bolded words.


  • Oberon21
    Oberon21 Posts: 13,235 Member
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    Hi all,

    Sorry I haven’t been around for a while. Well I’ve been reading, but not posting. I’m having a really bad couple of weeks and I didn’t want to dump it all on you guys. However, I have missed you all immensely. Its strange how much I rely on this thread for fun and motivation. I don’t think you’ll ever know how much you have all helped motivate me.

    My diet and exercise has gone out of the window, the binge monster is well and truly in situ and my brain is telling me all sorts of horrible things, about how fat and unfit I am, and always will be, and theres little point trying. And no matter how much weight I lose, my boyfriend will still never love me and I’ll never be able to climb the mountain and blah blah blah blah.

    I look in the mirror and I hate what I see. I’m so fat and just can’t see how I’m going to get it off. And I know binge eating isn’t going to help, but I seem totally incapable of controlling it.

    There’s a bit of an issue going on between my boyfriend and I. We need to address it, but I am avoiding the issue. Because, irrational me says he’s going to tell me all the things I don’t want to hear (that I believe about myself). So the poor guy has been getting a really hard time, for something I *think* he might say. I’m not being very grown up about things at the moment.

    Most of the problem is I have not been taking my anti-depressants properly. I miss lots of days at a time, and that is obviously contributing to the blackness. Rationally I know I can fix that. I have reminders on my phone and email to take it, but I mostly just ignore them. I don’t know why. I know they help.

    And just to make another excuse, theres a lot going on. My mum has cancer and is having her operation today. Her recovery time means I need to be home to have Charlie (2yo nephew) a lot more, which interferes with my life a bit, and well just excuses really. I feel overwhelmed with everything.

    I’m sorry to dump this all on you, but a couple of people here told me it might help to get it out. And a big thank you to those of you who messaged me to check in: @pofoster21, @girldownsouth and @nonoelmo @Lois_1989. I really did appreciate it, and it was nice to think people noticed and cared enough to send a note. I hope I can remember to do the same for others.

    I am trying to remember that today is a new day and all I can do is try. And some advice given to me in a message was that you will be able to help me with that. And I know its true. As a support group, you lot are amazing.

    And I have been reading and reading to get back to this... I am so glad you are back!!! I have missed you and this thread will help...it totally helps me. Whatever the problems with the boyfriend if you love each other it'll work out. And don't worry about that mountain! You can totally kick its a**. And frankly, i know you keep complaining about your weight, but the picture from the mountain doesn't look like you are 'so fat' so get that right out of your head! We are here for you! And good luck with your Mom's surgery.
  • Italian_Buju
    Italian_Buju Posts: 8,030 Member
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    I think I'm going to take a break from logging for a little while, I'm so overwhelmed right now with everything.

    The good news is, I have a doctor's appointment July 9th, so hopefully I'll get some help.

    Raelynn had a 3 year old checkup on Monday, and her pediatrician is referring us for services through the school district for her. (Special needs, SPD and Anxiety) I'm glad someone is finally listening!

    I'll still be here checking in, and once things get better I'll try to start logging again. Y'all are more than welcome to add me as well, I'd love to have y'all as friends!

    Good luck with your daughter! Hopefully you don't disappear from this thread altogether!
  • Italian_Buju
    Italian_Buju Posts: 8,030 Member
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    asappoeun wrote: »
    I love fried chicken

    Us too! My SO makes the BEST fried chicken, better than you could get at any restaurant!