Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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nicsflyingcircus wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Caught up!
I'm not too worried about this parenting thing. I'm worried about the nitty, grittiness of sleep deprivation and exhaustion that comes with the early days, but beyond ensuring the kid's physical well-being, I feel like the actual 'parenting' part will be okay. I'm a decent person. My husband is a decent person. My parents were decent people and my siblings and I turned out fine. Not a lot of drama, not a lot of scares and we all put up with one another to varying degrees. Sure I expect there will be arguments and frustrations and bumps in the road, but I'm not aiming for perfection as I think that probably doesn't exist.
Am I being too blasé about the whole thing?!
Nah. I will say though that based on nothing but my time on pregnancy message boards (tip: do not go to a pregnancy message board, the craziest people spend all day there) most first babies seem to be easy. That's how they trick you into having another one. My oldest was the easiest baby in the world. I found myself thinking "why do people complain about this?". Five years later when I had my daughter, I found out how bad it could be. My daughter has also taught me to be a lot less judgmental about parenting styles. I parented her in the same general way as my son, and she is ?
I feel this exact way about my 4th child. She can be so sweet sometimes, but EVERYTHING is a damned battle with her. I cannot possibly convey how mule-obstinate she can be about the smallest things. It doesn't help that the older three (one of whom has to share a room with her) have figured out how to trigger her demon rages.
All her teachers love her though, so I am occasionally "grateful" she saves her insanity for her father and I mostly.
This is spot on my daughter too. My husband are always getting how sweet and polite and well behaved and helpful she is. That's awesome, FOR YOU. You should see her at home. Not helpful at all unless she feels like it which is almost never!
Yesterday I just want to punch her in the face. She was going to an end of the year school dance and changed into shorts. It was 50 degrees outside and I told her she'd freeze if she wore shorts. She said, "You've never been to one of our dances and I am always hot." I argued with her back and forth then finally said word for word, "FINE! Freeze your *kitten* off, I don't care! Get out of my house!" Yesterday was NOT the day to come at me. Not my best mommy moment, but I didn't feel bad either.
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I need to say something that will lighten the heavy feeling I have today. The weather is NOT helping either.
In just over 6 weeks, my husband and I will be jetting down to Florida for a VERY belated honeymoon. I could NOT be more excited if I tried. I am also extremely nervous and anxious about the whole thing. I really don't know what to expect and that's very thrilling and nerve wracking at the same time. I'm excited to wear my new swimsuit and sun hat I just bought this weekend. It's very chic. I just need to get some cute maxi dresses and a cute swimsuit cover up to wear on the beach. I could also use some helpful tips about traveling by plane.
Thanks!
Make sure you follow the airlines rules about what you can/can't take in your carry-on (and check to make sure your bag is an acceptable size). It'll suck if you have to throw out something when you're going through security! Be aware that belt buckles and sometimes underwire in bras can set off the metal detectors, so just something to think about while getting dressed that day
I prefer to sleep on planes, so one of those wrap around neck pillows is a must for me, but I know some people can't sleep so you might not need one. Give yourself lots of time to get to the airport and through security. Check BEFORE you leave home if your flight is delayed/cancelled for some reason.
If you've never flown before and aren't sure how your stomach will handle it, pack some ginger pills or Gravol just in case.
Congratulations on your belated honeymoon! I'm sure you'll have an excellent time. My biggest flying tip is to drink plenty of water - I always get soooo dehydrated. And make sure you have a sweater or little travel blanket, planes are usually cold (at least for me, I'm always cold though)!
I'm always cold too. Do they sell travel blankets? Can I bring water or get water on the plane? I try to drink a minimum of 16 ounces of water by 10 am, so hopefully I'll be fine. Just hope I don't have to pee until I can make it to our layover stop.
Thanks for the congratulations. When I say VERY belated, I'm talking 15 years belated.
RE: travel blankets - I always bring a light jacket or zip up hoodie so it's easy to take on and off. And I hope you have so much fun on your trip!0 -
WestCoastJo82 wrote: »Ahh, my first MFP eaten post. @MoHousdon - go to the D terminal for shopping in Dallas and bring your own snacks (beverages purchased after security) was the basic jist of my message. Enjoy your flight and honeymoon!
Thanks, @WestCoastJo82 I will remember D terminal for "delightful shopping in Dallas!"
I usually travel with a large decorative scarf. It fold down to nothing and can be worn around the neck, draped as a shawl or used as a blanket if it is cold on the airplane.
I travel with dried fruit and nuts and instant oatmeal packets in my luggage and energy bars of my choice in my carry on. If you get delayed or things just take too long having food on hand can be a lifesaver. Once you pass through security go buy yourself a bottle of water. Have a great trip!
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I hid a pint of Ben & Jerry's Hazed & Confused by putting it an empty bag of frozen vegetables. My kids...husband...looked right past it as I secretly worked on it. Took me about four days to polish it off and I couldn't decide what was more satisfying. The ice cream itself Or having ice cream JUST FOR ME safely, closely, stored in my freezer and no one pestering me to let them have some! Issues, hu? Layed out for you there, clear as can be!
Eh, I don't think that's a sign of "issues". You ate it gradually over time and with a husband and kids it is a rare occasion to not have to share. I get that. I think you found a good plan!0 -
I need to say something that will lighten the heavy feeling I have today. The weather is NOT helping either.
In just over 6 weeks, my husband and I will be jetting down to Florida for a VERY belated honeymoon. I could NOT be more excited if I tried. I am also extremely nervous and anxious about the whole thing. I really don't know what to expect and that's very thrilling and nerve wracking at the same time. I'm excited to wear my new swimsuit and sun hat I just bought this weekend. It's very chic. I just need to get some cute maxi dresses and a cute swimsuit cover up to wear on the beach. I could also use some helpful tips about traveling by plane.
Thanks!
Make sure you follow the airlines rules about what you can/can't take in your carry-on (and check to make sure your bag is an acceptable size). It'll suck if you have to throw out something when you're going through security! Be aware that belt buckles and sometimes underwire in bras can set off the metal detectors, so just something to think about while getting dressed that day I prefer to sleep on planes, so one of those wrap around neck pillows is a must for me, but I know some people can't sleep so you might not need one. Give yourself lots of time to get to the airport and through security. Check BEFORE you leave home if your flight is delayed/cancelled for some reason.
If you've never flown before and aren't sure how your stomach will handle it, pack some ginger pills or Gravol just in case.
Congratulations on your belated honeymoon! I'm sure you'll have an excellent time. My biggest flying tip is to drink plenty of water - I always get soooo dehydrated. And make sure you have a sweater or little travel blanket, planes are usually cold (at least for me, I'm always cold though)!
I'm always cold too. Do they sell travel blankets? Can I bring water or get water on the plane? I try to drink a minimum of 16 ounces of water by 10 am, so hopefully I'll be fine. Just hope I don't have to pee until I can make it to our layover stop.
Thanks for the congratulations. When I say VERY belated, I'm talking 15 years belated.
Might have been said, but I am not caught up. Take an empty water bottle through security, then fill it up in the terminal. Much cheaper than buying a water bottle in the airport.
ETA: I was right, already answered multiple times. Oops.0 -
Caught up!
I'm not too worried about this parenting thing. I'm worried about the nitty, grittiness of sleep deprivation and exhaustion that comes with the early days, but beyond ensuring the kid's physical well-being, I feel like the actual 'parenting' part will be okay. I'm a decent person. My husband is a decent person. My parents were decent people and my siblings and I turned out fine. Not a lot of drama, not a lot of scares and we all put up with one another to varying degrees. Sure I expect there will be arguments and frustrations and bumps in the road, but I'm not aiming for perfection as I think that probably doesn't exist.
Am I being too blasé about the whole thing?!
No. Babies, while in the womb feed off of a mother's stress or lack thereof. The more relaxed you are, the better for the baby.
After they are born, they still feed off of the stress level of the people they are around the most. IME, relaxed, easy-going parents seem happier. Still balancing out discipline, of course. But not getting worked up over every little thing, losing your temper, etc. will benefit both you and your baby. During your pregnancy, don't let all the horror stories of others change your attitude you posted above!
Thank you for that, very helpful advice! I'm probably not going to be online for the next 4 days so who knows if I will ever catch back up.
We will miss you and even if you can't catch up on the thread keep us posted as to how you are doing!0 -
FluffySandwich wrote: »So I looked up awesome drinks to try in the Dominican Republic, and I found out about the ''dirty monkey,'' which is something I need in my life:
A drinkable, alcoholic dessert, which I'm sure is extremely dangerous for me. Especially since I'm a lightweight and am prone to drinking my way through alcoholic drinks WAY too fast (''Whoa... where did my wine go?''). Someone at work told me to try the ''mamajuana.'' No idea what that is but it looks to be of a citrus-y nature. Sorry guys, I'm getting terribly excited.
... I'm going to gain back every single pound, aren't I?
I tried this when I was in the Dominican, it is... interesting? It's a local beverage and the stuff I had was potent. I drank no more than an ounce, and even that was done in teeny sips because it's such a strong flavor.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »
Parenting is so hard, I am taking every effort to never have to do it.
And think about it, parenting with TWO parents is hard... and single parents...woah. AND if everyone is working?!
Everyone else can go ahead and make successful and wonderful humans. I do not feel strong enough to partake in that endeavor.
ETA: I am serious about everything in this post. I see parenting as very difficult. It takes skills and abilities that I am pretty sure I do not possess.
Here's something I've never confessed IRL before...
I don't enjoy parenting. I don't think I was meant to be a mum.
Don't get me wrong, I love my boys with all my heart. I give all of myself to them to ensure they feel loved, are happy and healthy.
But I just don't think I was cut out for it. I've had pretty severe postnatal depression since my first was born 3 years ago and I'm sure that contributes, but I do wonder if its just my personality. Also, I carry a lot of guilt over my depression, its so unfair to them and I worry I'm messing up their whole lives
Aaaaaaaand now I want to cover my feelings in food.
I could've pretty much wrote this post, word for word. I have a 3.5 yr old and an 8 month old (both boys). Everyone tells me I'm an awesome mom, but I feel like I'm failing at it constantly. It's not effortless for me like everyone else I see on Facebook. I have to WORK at my patience.
To be fair, I'm pretty sure I have PPD and my 3.5 yr old is a DRAMA QUEEN and can be difficult, but still. I give everything I have in me to them, literally, and I still feel like I'm doing it wrong.
Part of my inability to keep the weight off is I eat my feelings at night alone when they're in bed, because I sit and relive my parenting failures for the day in my head, over and over.
And hi, I've lurked but decided to post in the thread today
Welcome to the thread! Please don't beat yourself up! We all do it. Many admissions and confessions regarding that here. It does you nor your children any good. Don't rehash the past. Just do your best every day. That's all your kids need. Do seek help for PPD because that is serious to deal with.
Also, the people who make self-promoting parenting posts on Facebook are liars. Ignore all that noise.
This made me laugh. That has to be the most judgmental thing you have ever said! (And I love it!)
It's okay to judge everyone else NOT on this thread, right? I thought those were the rules. 0 -
I think I have found the one type of pain that does not make me want to eat eat eat. (Probably comfort eating, but I digress.)
My back hurts? My period cramps hurt? My everything hurts? Gimme all the food.
Migraine? Leave me on the couch to die.
I can't even THINK about food when I have a migraine. Just the thought, makes me nauseated.
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I have a day off tomorrow and I'm going to try to make lots of dollhouse miniature food for my online hobby shop. Can't decide what to make though. Hopefully I will be more inspired tomorrow. If in doubt, I'll make dollhouse cupcakes. Please inspire me someone!
Cocktails and fancy drinks! Are those appropriate for a doll house?! Perhaps not. But they'd be super cute as miniatures!0 -
kellienw335 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »I decided to try the stationary bike at the gym today.... it was almost successful in murdering my butt. I thought the stationary bike was going to be easy after 40 minutes of stairmaster, but nope!!! They need to invest in some comfy seats so my tush can stop screaming at me.
That's the main thing keeping me from getting a bike. Mix a Lot wrote a song about it once...
LOL! And so true! My son got a new bike a couple weeks ago...I tried to ride it...No flipping way!
The pains subside rather quickly. Usually about a week for new riders... After that, you are good to go!
Ya, you gotta build up some "butt callouses" then you'll be okay.
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Confession: I want to go on a vacation with just my husband without the 5 and 7 year old. I am willing to let them stay with family for a few days. Not a month or anything, like a long weekend. My husband doesn't trust a sole on this earth with his kids so this won't happen. At least until my kids are out of the house. So I will get a kid free vacation in about 11 years if I'm lucky. This is sad to me because I think couples need time together, but I feel guilty too like he's the better parent because I'm ok with them being with other people for a few days and he won't have it. ok rambling over.
No, don't feel that way. He is not better than you; just has a differing opinion. I say absolutely do NOT wait that long for a child-free vacation! Hopefully he will change his mind soon. What about any of the kids friends and their parents? Does he trust any of them? We always had a surplus of family members to watch our kids (very grateful for that), but sometimes they'd like to stay with friends' families. Exposed them to different things, too. Good luck!0 -
xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »nicsflyingcircus wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Caught up!
I'm not too worried about this parenting thing. I'm worried about the nitty, grittiness of sleep deprivation and exhaustion that comes with the early days, but beyond ensuring the kid's physical well-being, I feel like the actual 'parenting' part will be okay. I'm a decent person. My husband is a decent person. My parents were decent people and my siblings and I turned out fine. Not a lot of drama, not a lot of scares and we all put up with one another to varying degrees. Sure I expect there will be arguments and frustrations and bumps in the road, but I'm not aiming for perfection as I think that probably doesn't exist.
Am I being too blasé about the whole thing?!
Nah. I will say though that based on nothing but my time on pregnancy message boards (tip: do not go to a pregnancy message board, the craziest people spend all day there) most first babies seem to be easy. That's how they trick you into having another one. My oldest was the easiest baby in the world. I found myself thinking "why do people complain about this?". Five years later when I had my daughter, I found out how bad it could be. My daughter has also taught me to be a lot less judgmental about parenting styles. I parented her in the same general way as my son, and she is ?
I feel this exact way about my 4th child. She can be so sweet sometimes, but EVERYTHING is a damned battle with her. I cannot possibly convey how mule-obstinate she can be about the smallest things. It doesn't help that the older three (one of whom has to share a room with her) have figured out how to trigger her demon rages.
All her teachers love her though, so I am occasionally "grateful" she saves her insanity for her father and I mostly.
This is my 3.5 yr old. Obstinate as anything, every frickin thing is an epic battle, etc.
These kind of quotes make me feel like I am not alone. The better part of my morning was spent trying to peel my 4 year old off the table leg so we could head out the door. I felt like I had ran a marathon before I even got to work. I also confess as much as I love my son I don't think I could ever be a SAHM. Give those ladies props!!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »HereWeGoAgain7 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »HereWeGoAgain7 wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote:Wow, I so admire you for stepping up to parent a child you never asked for. You clearly love him and have sacrificed so much for him. I have 4 kids under 10 ( soon to have number 5) but having them was my own choice and I have to deal with it, no matter how hard it can be (and some days I just want to lock myself in the bathroom with a bottle of vodka). I agree that no woman should feel pressured to have children if she doesn't want to. Just because you're born with a womb doesn't mean you're obligated to use it.
I cannot agree more with that statement. I am 29 years old and am sick and tired of hearing from doctors, friends, and my in-laws that I will change my mind about kids. I haven't wanted kids since I was 16 and my brother had his first daughter. I was basically raising the baby while he and his woman slept and partied until I moved out at 18. In fact one of my mandatory things on my dating profile when I met my husband. We still do not want children, five years later. We enjoy the freedom of not having children, both traveling and financially. My family has multiple hereditary issues that I don't want to pass onto an unsuspecting child, not to mention that I have horribly painful cysts when I do ovulate. However, every time I broach the subject of getting an ovariectomy to remove my right ovary (severe scarring from multiple cysts makes any ovulation on that side extremely painful) and my left tube tied the doctors repeatedly tell me I am too young to make that decision. So let me get this straight...at 18 I can vote, join the US military, marry, and have children, which are all decisions that affect me the rest of my life. But at almost 30 I am too young to decide on something so important as NOT wanting children?
However, members of his family have found out they cannot have children of their own. While this saddens me, because they truly want kids, I am tired of everyone on his side of the family getting on our case because we are potentially able to have children but are not willing too. The last time this came up they actually suggested that I donate eggs to them (since that is the only reason they cannon have kids).
*Sorry to vent my spleen on this but it truly does annoy me.
Edited to fix grammar and quotes.
I can't believe your family asked you to do this and I would find some new doctors. This is all your decision all the way. Especially at 30. I think you would know by now if you wanted to change your mind!
LOL I am active duty military for the US. Ergo, they get slightly more say on my body then I would like. Luckily 30 is the magic age, so I can start fighting in December (but I'm getting a three year birth control in July just incase). As far as the family members go, I just avoid them as much as possible and every time they bring it up tell them in a very flat voice that my eggs are not for donation.
Seriously. Eggs are 1/2 a child. You don't just go handing them out. Like donating blood or something.
Exactly. Plus harvesting a woman's eggs is a laborious process involving many shots, examinations and medical visits. It's not like you can just hand them over in a cup like men donors do.0 -
kellienw335 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »I decided to try the stationary bike at the gym today.... it was almost successful in murdering my butt. I thought the stationary bike was going to be easy after 40 minutes of stairmaster, but nope!!! They need to invest in some comfy seats so my tush can stop screaming at me.
That's the main thing keeping me from getting a bike. Mix a Lot wrote a song about it once...
LOL! And so true! My son got a new bike a couple weeks ago...I tried to ride it...No flipping way!
The pains subside rather quickly. Usually about a week for new riders... After that, you are good to go!
Ya, you gotta build up some "butt callouses" then you'll be okay.
I've biked a lot for almost 30 years. And by a lot I mean it has varied from a short daily commute to long biking vacations (i.e. from a few miles to lots of miles). I have one tip to add to the others. Bike shorts designed for women. Takes a few rides to get used to but makes a big difference.
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pofoster21 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »I am really upset this morning because my degu is dying, I am sure of it now.....he has almost completely stopped eating and now his fur is falling out.....I was up at 4am hand feeding him corn flakes but have to leave for work now and am terrified he is going to die by himself in his cage while I am not home....I can't stop crying......its gonna be a long day, or few days, every time I have to leave the house.....
so sorry to read this it must be hard for you. Hugs!
I really had no idea how difficult it is to deal with a loss of your pet until today - previously we had a dog when I was a teenager and it was put to sleep when I was already moved out of the family home and at uni so it did not get to me as much as it could. This morning I have taken our rabbit pet to be euthanised as Blackie broke his leg over the weekend; they suggested amputation last night during the consultation, but with his age and some other health issues we decided it would be kinder to put him to sleep. I was an emotional mess when I arrived at the clinic and had to kick myself hard afterwards to be able to drive back home. I couldn't face going to work today and spent the day at home finding distractions so I don't have to think about it.
I am so sorry about your bunny. Losing a pet is as hard as losing a person. You will always be missing that part of your soul.
I couldn't agree with this more. I too, am so sorry to hear about your beloved little bunny.
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kellienw335 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »I decided to try the stationary bike at the gym today.... it was almost successful in murdering my butt. I thought the stationary bike was going to be easy after 40 minutes of stairmaster, but nope!!! They need to invest in some comfy seats so my tush can stop screaming at me.
That's the main thing keeping me from getting a bike. Mix a Lot wrote a song about it once...
LOL! And so true! My son got a new bike a couple weeks ago...I tried to ride it...No flipping way!
The pains subside rather quickly. Usually about a week for new riders... After that, you are good to go!
Ya, you gotta build up some "butt callouses" then you'll be okay.
I've biked a lot for almost 30 years. And by a lot I mean it has varied from a short daily commute to long biking vacations (i.e. from a few miles to lots of miles). I have one tip to add to the others. Bike shorts designed for women. Takes a few rides to get used to but makes a big difference.
Padded shorts are great! I've also read that (although it seems backwards) a more narrow seat can be more comfortable. If the seat is too wide it might not let your body/hips/knees align properly. I know this is true for my bike. My seat is narrower and much more comfortable than some of the wide-seated spin bikes at the gym.
I did a bike tour thing a couple years ago, almost 100 km over 2 days (mountain biking, so narrow, hilly trails) and no amount of padding was enough for that pain on the second day. I couldn't sit on my bike properly for the first hour or so, until everything went kind of numb hahaha.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »Daily confession.
My husband's daughter's boyfriend broke up with her on Mother's Day and she is "living" with us now. I put living in quotes because since last Tuesday, she's stayed the night once or twice, the rest of the nights (she works evenings) she doesn't bother coming home or even calling to say she's not going to be home. I understand she's an adult being 19, but I also expect her to show us some gratitude and respect for taking her and her cat in when she didn't really have anywhere else to go. Although, she must have SOMEWHERE to sleep since she's not sleeping in our house.
I am fully miffed about the whole thing because I feel like she is using us to store her stuff and take care of her cat. I have asked my husband to talk to her, but I'm sure he won't since he doesn't like confrontation and she's just now coming into our lives after not being allowed to see us for the past 14 years and he doesn't want to do anything to jeopardize that.
I am upset and hurt and don't know what to do.
Sounds like a contract is in order. She agrees to abide by certain rules of the house, or live somewhere else that doesn't have those rules. You agree to abide by certain rules (to make it feel even) like not going into her room without permission, etc. All parties sign the contract. Break the contract - find a new place to live.
That sounds like a great idea, @quiksylver296 but my husband would NEVER do that. He's too nice/non-confrontational. Update, she didn't come home last night either. That is at least the 4th night in a row. I don't know my husband has even heard from her since Saturday.
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pofoster21 wrote: »xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »
Parenting is so hard, I am taking every effort to never have to do it.
And think about it, parenting with TWO parents is hard... and single parents...woah. AND if everyone is working?!
Everyone else can go ahead and make successful and wonderful humans. I do not feel strong enough to partake in that endeavor.
ETA: I am serious about everything in this post. I see parenting as very difficult. It takes skills and abilities that I am pretty sure I do not possess.
Here's something I've never confessed IRL before...
I don't enjoy parenting. I don't think I was meant to be a mum.
Don't get me wrong, I love my boys with all my heart. I give all of myself to them to ensure they feel loved, are happy and healthy.
But I just don't think I was cut out for it. I've had pretty severe postnatal depression since my first was born 3 years ago and I'm sure that contributes, but I do wonder if its just my personality. Also, I carry a lot of guilt over my depression, its so unfair to them and I worry I'm messing up their whole lives
Aaaaaaaand now I want to cover my feelings in food.
I could've pretty much wrote this post, word for word. I have a 3.5 yr old and an 8 month old (both boys). Everyone tells me I'm an awesome mom, but I feel like I'm failing at it constantly. It's not effortless for me like everyone else I see on Facebook. I have to WORK at my patience.
To be fair, I'm pretty sure I have PPD and my 3.5 yr old is a DRAMA QUEEN and can be difficult, but still. I give everything I have in me to them, literally, and I still feel like I'm doing it wrong.
Part of my inability to keep the weight off is I eat my feelings at night alone when they're in bed, because I sit and relive my parenting failures for the day in my head, over and over.
And hi, I've lurked but decided to post in the thread today
Welcome to the thread! Please don't beat yourself up! We all do it. Many admissions and confessions regarding that here. It does you nor your children any good. Don't rehash the past. Just do your best every day. That's all your kids need. Do seek help for PPD because that is serious to deal with.
Also, the people who make self-promoting parenting posts on Facebook are liars. Ignore all that noise.
This made me laugh. That has to be the most judgmental thing you have ever said! (And I love it!)
It's okay to judge everyone else NOT on this thread, right? I thought those were the rules.
YES! Of course those are the rules!0 -
He is definitely not a better parent because of that,don't beat yourself up. All parents need some 'me' and 'us' time to have abreak ans also to enjoy their adult relationship. Having time away just the two of you is important, even for couple of hours at a time. Hope you will be able to organise it and enjoy each other company!Confession: I want to go on a vacation with just my husband without the 5 and 7 year old. I am willing to let them stay with family for a few days. Not a month or anything, like a long weekend. My husband doesn't trust a sole on this earth with his kids so this won't happen. At least until my kids are out of the house. So I will get a kid free vacation in about 11 years if I'm lucky. This is sad to me because I think couples need time together, but I feel guilty too like he's the better parent because I'm ok with them being with other people for a few days and he won't have it. ok rambling over.
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