Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »HereWeGoAgain7 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »HereWeGoAgain7 wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote:Wow, I so admire you for stepping up to parent a child you never asked for. You clearly love him and have sacrificed so much for him. I have 4 kids under 10 ( soon to have number 5) but having them was my own choice and I have to deal with it, no matter how hard it can be (and some days I just want to lock myself in the bathroom with a bottle of vodka). I agree that no woman should feel pressured to have children if she doesn't want to. Just because you're born with a womb doesn't mean you're obligated to use it.
I cannot agree more with that statement. I am 29 years old and am sick and tired of hearing from doctors, friends, and my in-laws that I will change my mind about kids. I haven't wanted kids since I was 16 and my brother had his first daughter. I was basically raising the baby while he and his woman slept and partied until I moved out at 18. In fact one of my mandatory things on my dating profile when I met my husband. We still do not want children, five years later. We enjoy the freedom of not having children, both traveling and financially. My family has multiple hereditary issues that I don't want to pass onto an unsuspecting child, not to mention that I have horribly painful cysts when I do ovulate. However, every time I broach the subject of getting an ovariectomy to remove my right ovary (severe scarring from multiple cysts makes any ovulation on that side extremely painful) and my left tube tied the doctors repeatedly tell me I am too young to make that decision. So let me get this straight...at 18 I can vote, join the US military, marry, and have children, which are all decisions that affect me the rest of my life. But at almost 30 I am too young to decide on something so important as NOT wanting children?
However, members of his family have found out they cannot have children of their own. While this saddens me, because they truly want kids, I am tired of everyone on his side of the family getting on our case because we are potentially able to have children but are not willing too. The last time this came up they actually suggested that I donate eggs to them (since that is the only reason they cannon have kids).
*Sorry to vent my spleen on this but it truly does annoy me.
Edited to fix grammar and quotes.
I can't believe your family asked you to do this and I would find some new doctors. This is all your decision all the way. Especially at 30. I think you would know by now if you wanted to change your mind!
LOL I am active duty military for the US. Ergo, they get slightly more say on my body then I would like. Luckily 30 is the magic age, so I can start fighting in December (but I'm getting a three year birth control in July just incase). As far as the family members go, I just avoid them as much as possible and every time they bring it up tell them in a very flat voice that my eggs are not for donation.
Seriously. Eggs are 1/2 a child. You don't just go handing them out. Like donating blood or something.
Exactly. Plus harvesting a woman's eggs is a laborious process involving many shots, examinations and medical visits. It's not like you can just hand them over in a cup like men donors do.
Interesting. That I didn't know. I guess I never thought about it!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »
Parenting is so hard, I am taking every effort to never have to do it.
And think about it, parenting with TWO parents is hard... and single parents...woah. AND if everyone is working?!
Everyone else can go ahead and make successful and wonderful humans. I do not feel strong enough to partake in that endeavor.
ETA: I am serious about everything in this post. I see parenting as very difficult. It takes skills and abilities that I am pretty sure I do not possess.
Here's something I've never confessed IRL before...
I don't enjoy parenting. I don't think I was meant to be a mum.
Don't get me wrong, I love my boys with all my heart. I give all of myself to them to ensure they feel loved, are happy and healthy.
But I just don't think I was cut out for it. I've had pretty severe postnatal depression since my first was born 3 years ago and I'm sure that contributes, but I do wonder if its just my personality. Also, I carry a lot of guilt over my depression, its so unfair to them and I worry I'm messing up their whole lives
Aaaaaaaand now I want to cover my feelings in food.
I could've pretty much wrote this post, word for word. I have a 3.5 yr old and an 8 month old (both boys). Everyone tells me I'm an awesome mom, but I feel like I'm failing at it constantly. It's not effortless for me like everyone else I see on Facebook. I have to WORK at my patience.
To be fair, I'm pretty sure I have PPD and my 3.5 yr old is a DRAMA QUEEN and can be difficult, but still. I give everything I have in me to them, literally, and I still feel like I'm doing it wrong.
Part of my inability to keep the weight off is I eat my feelings at night alone when they're in bed, because I sit and relive my parenting failures for the day in my head, over and over.
And hi, I've lurked but decided to post in the thread today
Welcome to the thread! Please don't beat yourself up! We all do it. Many admissions and confessions regarding that here. It does you nor your children any good. Don't rehash the past. Just do your best every day. That's all your kids need. Do seek help for PPD because that is serious to deal with.
Also, the people who make self-promoting parenting posts on Facebook are liars. Ignore all that noise.
This made me laugh. That has to be the most judgmental thing you have ever said! (And I love it!)
It's okay to judge everyone else NOT on this thread, right? I thought those were the rules.
Totally and it wasn't even that judgmental, you are just the nicest/most supportive person on here that NEVER says anything negative. 0 -
ddrhellbunny wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »I need to say something that will lighten the heavy feeling I have today. The weather is NOT helping either.
In just over 6 weeks, my husband and I will be jetting down to Florida for a VERY belated honeymoon. I could NOT be more excited if I tried. I am also extremely nervous and anxious about the whole thing. I really don't know what to expect and that's very thrilling and nerve wracking at the same time. I'm excited to wear my new swimsuit and sun hat I just bought this weekend. It's very chic. I just need to get some cute maxi dresses and a cute swimsuit cover up to wear on the beach. I could also use some helpful tips about traveling by plane.
Thanks!
Make sure you follow the airlines rules about what you can/can't take in your carry-on (and check to make sure your bag is an acceptable size). It'll suck if you have to throw out something when you're going through security! Be aware that belt buckles and sometimes underwire in bras can set off the metal detectors, so just something to think about while getting dressed that day I prefer to sleep on planes, so one of those wrap around neck pillows is a must for me, but I know some people can't sleep so you might not need one. Give yourself lots of time to get to the airport and through security. Check BEFORE you leave home if your flight is delayed/cancelled for some reason.
If you've never flown before and aren't sure how your stomach will handle it, pack some ginger pills or Gravol just in case.
Congratulations on your belated honeymoon! I'm sure you'll have an excellent time. My biggest flying tip is to drink plenty of water - I always get soooo dehydrated. And make sure you have a sweater or little travel blanket, planes are usually cold (at least for me, I'm always cold though)!
I'm always cold too. Do they sell travel blankets? Can I bring water or get water on the plane? I try to drink a minimum of 16 ounces of water by 10 am, so hopefully I'll be fine. Just hope I don't have to pee until I can make it to our layover stop.
Thanks for the congratulations. When I say VERY belated, I'm talking 15 years belated.
RE: travel blankets - I always bring a light jacket or zip up hoodie so it's easy to take on and off. And I hope you have so much fun on your trip!
I ALWAYS carry a hoodie with me, but I will sure to have one that day for sure. Thanks!WestCoastJo82 wrote: »Ahh, my first MFP eaten post. @MoHousdon - go to the D terminal for shopping in Dallas and bring your own snacks (beverages purchased after security) was the basic jist of my message. Enjoy your flight and honeymoon!
Thanks, @WestCoastJo82 I will remember D terminal for "delightful shopping in Dallas!"
I usually travel with a large decorative scarf. It fold down to nothing and can be worn around the neck, draped as a shawl or used as a blanket if it is cold on the airplane.
I travel with dried fruit and nuts and instant oatmeal packets in my luggage and energy bars of my choice in my carry on. If you get delayed or things just take too long having food on hand can be a lifesaver. Once you pass through security go buy yourself a bottle of water. Have a great trip!
I am planning on bringing some Quest Bars in my carryon. I also have so travel mix that I got from the local candy store that would be perfect too. Thanks for the advice and the well wishes!
Just so you know if you do get a layover in Dallas (where I currently reside) Just be prepared for delays especially if you travel AA or US. They've been have some issues recently over here. ( I would know since my BF is a pilot for US) He always complains about the hour or two delays. So just make a note ;p I hope you have a fantastic trip!
I wasn't going to be negative, but since someone else brought it up: HATE the DFW airport. I mean, not the airport itself, but I have never once made a connecting flight there on time. Also, a 2 hr. layover there is not much because the airport is so large. If you want to shop at concourse D find out which concourse you land in and which you depart from and plan accordingly. It takes a while to get to each concourse. But, you'll still make your destination and you'll have a great time, I'm sure!
I will try to have all my stuff mapped out way beforehand. As long as I make it to my resort in Siesta Key by 10:30 pm, I'll be fine. If not, guess we'll be sleeping in the rental car and paying for a night we don't get to sleep in the room.
I used to live about 35 minutes or so from siesta key. It is beautiful. I hope you enjoy.
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I'm too hard on myself when it comes to my weight. I know I am no where near overweight, but for me, it drives me crazy!0
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quiksylver296 wrote: »Daily confession.
My husband's daughter's boyfriend broke up with her on Mother's Day and she is "living" with us now. I put living in quotes because since last Tuesday, she's stayed the night once or twice, the rest of the nights (she works evenings) she doesn't bother coming home or even calling to say she's not going to be home. I understand she's an adult being 19, but I also expect her to show us some gratitude and respect for taking her and her cat in when she didn't really have anywhere else to go. Although, she must have SOMEWHERE to sleep since she's not sleeping in our house.
I am fully miffed about the whole thing because I feel like she is using us to store her stuff and take care of her cat. I have asked my husband to talk to her, but I'm sure he won't since he doesn't like confrontation and she's just now coming into our lives after not being allowed to see us for the past 14 years and he doesn't want to do anything to jeopardize that.
I am upset and hurt and don't know what to do.
Sounds like a contract is in order. She agrees to abide by certain rules of the house, or live somewhere else that doesn't have those rules. You agree to abide by certain rules (to make it feel even) like not going into her room without permission, etc. All parties sign the contract. Break the contract - find a new place to live.
That sounds like a great idea, @quiksylver296 but my husband would NEVER do that. He's too nice/non-confrontational. Update, she didn't come home last night either. That is at least the 4th night in a row. I don't know my husband has even heard from her since Saturday.
Sounds like it might be time for a sit down conversation. It will only be so long that too nice/non-confrontational, gets agitatied/ aggravated at the disrespect and worry that is caused. I have one of those in my house at the moment too and some days it takes all my will not to just say, if you aren't going to be here then pack your stuff. (He is 23, my husband's and he just lets it all slide)0 -
kellienw335 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »I decided to try the stationary bike at the gym today.... it was almost successful in murdering my butt. I thought the stationary bike was going to be easy after 40 minutes of stairmaster, but nope!!! They need to invest in some comfy seats so my tush can stop screaming at me.
That's the main thing keeping me from getting a bike. Mix a Lot wrote a song about it once...
LOL! And so true! My son got a new bike a couple weeks ago...I tried to ride it...No flipping way!
The pains subside rather quickly. Usually about a week for new riders... After that, you are good to go!
Ya, you gotta build up some "butt callouses" then you'll be okay.
I've biked a lot for almost 30 years. And by a lot I mean it has varied from a short daily commute to long biking vacations (i.e. from a few miles to lots of miles). I have one tip to add to the others. Bike shorts designed for women. Takes a few rides to get used to but makes a big difference.
You do have to find the right ones though. Not TOO padded...that just causes more problems. And try Hoo Ha Ride Glide:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_6?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=hoo+ha+ride+glide&sprefix=hoo+ha,aps,168
Totally helps. I actually get more sore in the creases of my legs where they connect to my body... that for me gets really painful if I don't carefully arrange the shorts as I am biking.0 -
I need to say something that will lighten the heavy feeling I have today. The weather is NOT helping either.
In just over 6 weeks, my husband and I will be jetting down to Florida for a VERY belated honeymoon. I could NOT be more excited if I tried. I am also extremely nervous and anxious about the whole thing. I really don't know what to expect and that's very thrilling and nerve wracking at the same time. I'm excited to wear my new swimsuit and sun hat I just bought this weekend. It's very chic. I just need to get some cute maxi dresses and a cute swimsuit cover up to wear on the beach. I could also use some helpful tips about traveling by plane.
Thanks!
Make sure you follow the airlines rules about what you can/can't take in your carry-on (and check to make sure your bag is an acceptable size). It'll suck if you have to throw out something when you're going through security! Be aware that belt buckles and sometimes underwire in bras can set off the metal detectors, so just something to think about while getting dressed that day I prefer to sleep on planes, so one of those wrap around neck pillows is a must for me, but I know some people can't sleep so you might not need one. Give yourself lots of time to get to the airport and through security. Check BEFORE you leave home if your flight is delayed/cancelled for some reason.
If you've never flown before and aren't sure how your stomach will handle it, pack some ginger pills or Gravol just in case.
ETA: Also, pack gum or chewy candy, something to chew while taking off & landing (for your ears). I actually wear ear plugs when I fly. They might not work for everyone, and it does say to take them out once you're at altitude, but I just wear them the whole time. It's a little annoying if you have to talk to someone since you can't tell how loud you're talking, but with them in my ears don't pop at all and it is wonderful.
WOW!!! @ShibaEars that was ALL very useful information. I do remember chewing gum on the plane and my ears are very sensitive to elevation changes so that's a must for me. I also have some Beats headphones so I'll be bringing them along too. I will make sure to dress comfortable with a wireless bra (probably workout out clothes since they're super comfortable) so I don't get pulled aside by the NSA.
My husband and I are going to sit down and make a list of all the stuff we need to buy, do and plan. Little tip about me...I LOVE LISTS!!! It's soothing to my mild OCD.
I love lists too. Crossing off each one makes me feel so accomplished. Plus I'm forgetful so I need lists. I always buy trashy magazines before flying. keeps me entertained. All the previous advice has been pretty good. Have a blast and relax!
Both of these. I'm that person that will put stuff on my list that I've already done just so I can cross it off. 9 times out of 10, if I don't have a list detailing everything I need, I will forget something and it's usually something important. I hate packing/shopping without lists. Unless it's just shopping for fun, then it's kind of nice to just buy things I like.
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nicsflyingcircus wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Caught up!
I'm not too worried about this parenting thing. I'm worried about the nitty, grittiness of sleep deprivation and exhaustion that comes with the early days, but beyond ensuring the kid's physical well-being, I feel like the actual 'parenting' part will be okay. I'm a decent person. My husband is a decent person. My parents were decent people and my siblings and I turned out fine. Not a lot of drama, not a lot of scares and we all put up with one another to varying degrees. Sure I expect there will be arguments and frustrations and bumps in the road, but I'm not aiming for perfection as I think that probably doesn't exist.
Am I being too blasé about the whole thing?!
Nah. I will say though that based on nothing but my time on pregnancy message boards (tip: do not go to a pregnancy message board, the craziest people spend all day there) most first babies seem to be easy. That's how they trick you into having another one. My oldest was the easiest baby in the world. I found myself thinking "why do people complain about this?". Five years later when I had my daughter, I found out how bad it could be. My daughter has also taught me to be a lot less judgmental about parenting styles. I parented her in the same general way as my son, and she is ?
I feel this exact way about my 4th child. She can be so sweet sometimes, but EVERYTHING is a damned battle with her. I cannot possibly convey how mule-obstinate she can be about the smallest things. It doesn't help that the older three (one of whom has to share a room with her) have figured out how to trigger her demon rages.
All her teachers love her though, so I am occasionally "grateful" she saves her insanity for her father and I mostly.
This is spot on my daughter too. My husband are always getting how sweet and polite and well behaved and helpful she is. That's awesome, FOR YOU. You should see her at home. Not helpful at all unless she feels like it which is almost never!
Yesterday I just want to punch her in the face. She was going to an end of the year school dance and changed into shorts. It was 50 degrees outside and I told her she'd freeze if she wore shorts. She said, "You've never been to one of our dances and I am always hot." I argued with her back and forth then finally said word for word, "FINE! Freeze your *kitten* off, I don't care! Get out of my house!" Yesterday was NOT the day to come at me. Not my best mommy moment, but I didn't feel bad either.
Oh, kids. Something I was told a long time ago helped a bit when the kids were little: from day one kids are told what to do, how to do it, when to do it, what to wear, what to eat, etc. by EVERYONE around them. By rebelling and lashing out they are simply trying to make a decision for themselves. As far as the example of the shorts, depending on age, don't even start with the word "no" (kids automatically tune out after that). Just say, "Do you want to wear these jeans, these red pants, or these blue sweats?" (or whatever is appropriate) Doesn't always work but by frequently giving them an option to make their own decisions the other battles subside.
Give them options of what they can eat; give them options of when they can do chores or homework. All within your own boundaries of course, but presenting them options gives them a sense of control over their own lives. Calms down the inner rebellion monster somewhat.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »ddrhellbunny wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »I need to say something that will lighten the heavy feeling I have today. The weather is NOT helping either.
In just over 6 weeks, my husband and I will be jetting down to Florida for a VERY belated honeymoon. I could NOT be more excited if I tried. I am also extremely nervous and anxious about the whole thing. I really don't know what to expect and that's very thrilling and nerve wracking at the same time. I'm excited to wear my new swimsuit and sun hat I just bought this weekend. It's very chic. I just need to get some cute maxi dresses and a cute swimsuit cover up to wear on the beach. I could also use some helpful tips about traveling by plane.
Thanks!
Make sure you follow the airlines rules about what you can/can't take in your carry-on (and check to make sure your bag is an acceptable size). It'll suck if you have to throw out something when you're going through security! Be aware that belt buckles and sometimes underwire in bras can set off the metal detectors, so just something to think about while getting dressed that day I prefer to sleep on planes, so one of those wrap around neck pillows is a must for me, but I know some people can't sleep so you might not need one. Give yourself lots of time to get to the airport and through security. Check BEFORE you leave home if your flight is delayed/cancelled for some reason.
If you've never flown before and aren't sure how your stomach will handle it, pack some ginger pills or Gravol just in case.
Congratulations on your belated honeymoon! I'm sure you'll have an excellent time. My biggest flying tip is to drink plenty of water - I always get soooo dehydrated. And make sure you have a sweater or little travel blanket, planes are usually cold (at least for me, I'm always cold though)!
I'm always cold too. Do they sell travel blankets? Can I bring water or get water on the plane? I try to drink a minimum of 16 ounces of water by 10 am, so hopefully I'll be fine. Just hope I don't have to pee until I can make it to our layover stop.
Thanks for the congratulations. When I say VERY belated, I'm talking 15 years belated.
RE: travel blankets - I always bring a light jacket or zip up hoodie so it's easy to take on and off. And I hope you have so much fun on your trip!
I ALWAYS carry a hoodie with me, but I will sure to have one that day for sure. Thanks!WestCoastJo82 wrote: »Ahh, my first MFP eaten post. @MoHousdon - go to the D terminal for shopping in Dallas and bring your own snacks (beverages purchased after security) was the basic jist of my message. Enjoy your flight and honeymoon!
Thanks, @WestCoastJo82 I will remember D terminal for "delightful shopping in Dallas!"
I usually travel with a large decorative scarf. It fold down to nothing and can be worn around the neck, draped as a shawl or used as a blanket if it is cold on the airplane.
I travel with dried fruit and nuts and instant oatmeal packets in my luggage and energy bars of my choice in my carry on. If you get delayed or things just take too long having food on hand can be a lifesaver. Once you pass through security go buy yourself a bottle of water. Have a great trip!
I am planning on bringing some Quest Bars in my carryon. I also have so travel mix that I got from the local candy store that would be perfect too. Thanks for the advice and the well wishes!
Just so you know if you do get a layover in Dallas (where I currently reside) Just be prepared for delays especially if you travel AA or US. They've been have some issues recently over here. ( I would know since my BF is a pilot for US) He always complains about the hour or two delays. So just make a note ;p I hope you have a fantastic trip!
I wasn't going to be negative, but since someone else brought it up: HATE the DFW airport. I mean, not the airport itself, but I have never once made a connecting flight there on time. Also, a 2 hr. layover there is not much because the airport is so large. If you want to shop at concourse D find out which concourse you land in and which you depart from and plan accordingly. It takes a while to get to each concourse. But, you'll still make your destination and you'll have a great time, I'm sure!
I fly to Dallas all the time, and I hate it too. NEVER get out of there on time. There are always delays if you leave in the PM.
Our flight is early in the morning, so hopefully we'll be lucky and not have too much trouble.
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Confession: I totally traded out my lunch for a piece of carrot cake. Oh, yeah I did that.
Carrot cake is the best!!
Thanks for all the advice and you are all right of course. I try to explain that we need this time together, but he says maybe some day. So I just wait. I do go on vacations with my girlfriends sometimes because sometimes you just gotta get away and he doesn't mind. He's more of a homebody and I like to get out and do things.0 -
ddrhellbunny wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »I need to say something that will lighten the heavy feeling I have today. The weather is NOT helping either.
In just over 6 weeks, my husband and I will be jetting down to Florida for a VERY belated honeymoon. I could NOT be more excited if I tried. I am also extremely nervous and anxious about the whole thing. I really don't know what to expect and that's very thrilling and nerve wracking at the same time. I'm excited to wear my new swimsuit and sun hat I just bought this weekend. It's very chic. I just need to get some cute maxi dresses and a cute swimsuit cover up to wear on the beach. I could also use some helpful tips about traveling by plane.
Thanks!
Make sure you follow the airlines rules about what you can/can't take in your carry-on (and check to make sure your bag is an acceptable size). It'll suck if you have to throw out something when you're going through security! Be aware that belt buckles and sometimes underwire in bras can set off the metal detectors, so just something to think about while getting dressed that day I prefer to sleep on planes, so one of those wrap around neck pillows is a must for me, but I know some people can't sleep so you might not need one. Give yourself lots of time to get to the airport and through security. Check BEFORE you leave home if your flight is delayed/cancelled for some reason.
If you've never flown before and aren't sure how your stomach will handle it, pack some ginger pills or Gravol just in case.
Congratulations on your belated honeymoon! I'm sure you'll have an excellent time. My biggest flying tip is to drink plenty of water - I always get soooo dehydrated. And make sure you have a sweater or little travel blanket, planes are usually cold (at least for me, I'm always cold though)!
I'm always cold too. Do they sell travel blankets? Can I bring water or get water on the plane? I try to drink a minimum of 16 ounces of water by 10 am, so hopefully I'll be fine. Just hope I don't have to pee until I can make it to our layover stop.
Thanks for the congratulations. When I say VERY belated, I'm talking 15 years belated.
RE: travel blankets - I always bring a light jacket or zip up hoodie so it's easy to take on and off. And I hope you have so much fun on your trip!
I ALWAYS carry a hoodie with me, but I will sure to have one that day for sure. Thanks!WestCoastJo82 wrote: »Ahh, my first MFP eaten post. @MoHousdon - go to the D terminal for shopping in Dallas and bring your own snacks (beverages purchased after security) was the basic jist of my message. Enjoy your flight and honeymoon!
Thanks, @WestCoastJo82 I will remember D terminal for "delightful shopping in Dallas!"
I usually travel with a large decorative scarf. It fold down to nothing and can be worn around the neck, draped as a shawl or used as a blanket if it is cold on the airplane.
I travel with dried fruit and nuts and instant oatmeal packets in my luggage and energy bars of my choice in my carry on. If you get delayed or things just take too long having food on hand can be a lifesaver. Once you pass through security go buy yourself a bottle of water. Have a great trip!
I am planning on bringing some Quest Bars in my carryon. I also have so travel mix that I got from the local candy store that would be perfect too. Thanks for the advice and the well wishes!
Just so you know if you do get a layover in Dallas (where I currently reside) Just be prepared for delays especially if you travel AA or US. They've been have some issues recently over here. ( I would know since my BF is a pilot for US) He always complains about the hour or two delays. So just make a note ;p I hope you have a fantastic trip!
I wasn't going to be negative, but since someone else brought it up: HATE the DFW airport. I mean, not the airport itself, but I have never once made a connecting flight there on time. Also, a 2 hr. layover there is not much because the airport is so large. If you want to shop at concourse D find out which concourse you land in and which you depart from and plan accordingly. It takes a while to get to each concourse. But, you'll still make your destination and you'll have a great time, I'm sure!
I will try to have all my stuff mapped out way beforehand. As long as I make it to my resort in Siesta Key by 10:30 pm, I'll be fine. If not, guess we'll be sleeping in the rental car and paying for a night we don't get to sleep in the room.
I used to live about 35 minutes or so from siesta key. It is beautiful. I hope you enjoy.
Looking forward to it. Do you have any must do's while we're there? We're planning on going to St. Augustine for a day since my brother lives in Jacksonville and I want to see the fort. We're also planning on going to Venice to collect sea shells and sharks teeth.
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I'm around 5'2, 197.4 lbs, and I've just started going back to the gym 2 days a week, about to bump it up to 3 days a week once hubby gets paid again (kid's birthday drained us lol). Thanks!quiksylver296 wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »I've fallen off big time lately, and now I'm confused on how to get back. I've looked at the TDEE method but I'm so confused on that, but I can't do the 1200 MFP keeps setting for me. I really don't want to put up a new post about it but may just have to...
What are your stats? Height, weight and activity level? I'll figure it for you and try to explain it.
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pofoster21 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »
Parenting is so hard, I am taking every effort to never have to do it.
And think about it, parenting with TWO parents is hard... and single parents...woah. AND if everyone is working?!
Everyone else can go ahead and make successful and wonderful humans. I do not feel strong enough to partake in that endeavor.
ETA: I am serious about everything in this post. I see parenting as very difficult. It takes skills and abilities that I am pretty sure I do not possess.
Here's something I've never confessed IRL before...
I don't enjoy parenting. I don't think I was meant to be a mum.
Don't get me wrong, I love my boys with all my heart. I give all of myself to them to ensure they feel loved, are happy and healthy.
But I just don't think I was cut out for it. I've had pretty severe postnatal depression since my first was born 3 years ago and I'm sure that contributes, but I do wonder if its just my personality. Also, I carry a lot of guilt over my depression, its so unfair to them and I worry I'm messing up their whole lives
Aaaaaaaand now I want to cover my feelings in food.
I could've pretty much wrote this post, word for word. I have a 3.5 yr old and an 8 month old (both boys). Everyone tells me I'm an awesome mom, but I feel like I'm failing at it constantly. It's not effortless for me like everyone else I see on Facebook. I have to WORK at my patience.
To be fair, I'm pretty sure I have PPD and my 3.5 yr old is a DRAMA QUEEN and can be difficult, but still. I give everything I have in me to them, literally, and I still feel like I'm doing it wrong.
Part of my inability to keep the weight off is I eat my feelings at night alone when they're in bed, because I sit and relive my parenting failures for the day in my head, over and over.
And hi, I've lurked but decided to post in the thread today
Welcome to the thread! Please don't beat yourself up! We all do it. Many admissions and confessions regarding that here. It does you nor your children any good. Don't rehash the past. Just do your best every day. That's all your kids need. Do seek help for PPD because that is serious to deal with.
Also, the people who make self-promoting parenting posts on Facebook are liars. Ignore all that noise.
This made me laugh. That has to be the most judgmental thing you have ever said! (And I love it!)
It's okay to judge everyone else NOT on this thread, right? I thought those were the rules.
Totally and it wasn't even that judgmental, you are just the nicest/most supportive person on here that NEVER says anything negative.
Thank you and that makes me laugh. I think this thread must be my alter-ego or something because my husband and son call me negative and judgmental almost on a daily basis. Oops. Maybe I should pretend I'm typing something here before spouting off my mouth IRL?0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »
You do have to find the right ones though. Not TOO padded...that just causes more problems. And try Hoo Ha Ride Glide:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_6?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=hoo+ha+ride+glide&sprefix=hoo+ha,aps,168
Totally helps. I actually get more sore in the creases of my legs where they connect to my body... that for me gets really painful if I don't carefully arrange the shorts as I am biking.
Best name of a product ever!0 -
After I dislocated my knee I've lost all motivation... I've eatten like CRAP for 2 full weeks & havent stepped on the scale at all... My 17 lb loss is probably only 7 now. I'm afraid of logging this pitfall...0
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pofoster21 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »I decided to try the stationary bike at the gym today.... it was almost successful in murdering my butt. I thought the stationary bike was going to be easy after 40 minutes of stairmaster, but nope!!! They need to invest in some comfy seats so my tush can stop screaming at me.
That's the main thing keeping me from getting a bike. Mix a Lot wrote a song about it once...
LOL! And so true! My son got a new bike a couple weeks ago...I tried to ride it...No flipping way!
The pains subside rather quickly. Usually about a week for new riders... After that, you are good to go!
Ya, you gotta build up some "butt callouses" then you'll be okay.
I've biked a lot for almost 30 years. And by a lot I mean it has varied from a short daily commute to long biking vacations (i.e. from a few miles to lots of miles). I have one tip to add to the others. Bike shorts designed for women. Takes a few rides to get used to but makes a big difference.
You do have to find the right ones though. Not TOO padded...that just causes more problems. And try Hoo Ha Ride Glide:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_6?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=hoo+ha+ride+glide&sprefix=hoo+ha,aps,168
Totally helps. I actually get more sore in the creases of my legs where they connect to my body... that for me gets really painful if I don't carefully arrange the shorts as I am biking.
Likewise for me in the creases. I've had a saddle sore or 2 in those exact spots that luckily didn't need too much attention other than a quick yet OMG sooo painful squeeze & pop and they didn't sideline me at all so I consider myself fortunate.
On my 13 mile commute I have to stand and adjust my chamois shorts a few times to avoid any gathering problems. It probably doesn't help I wear loose sweatshorts over my chamois and not biker shorts but I have a 38" inseam and while I think my legs look decent enough, I don't care to share my sun deprived upper thighs with the general public. LOL0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »I am really upset this morning because my degu is dying, I am sure of it now.....he has almost completely stopped eating and now his fur is falling out.....I was up at 4am hand feeding him corn flakes but have to leave for work now and am terrified he is going to die by himself in his cage while I am not home....I can't stop crying......its gonna be a long day, or few days, every time I have to leave the house.....
That's just heartbreaking. I'm so sorry. Losing a pet, no matter how or when, is always so hard.
I have an indoor/outdoor (mostly outdoor) cat that I haven't seen in almost 2 weeks. We live in kind of a wooded area so I think an animal got him. I was thinking something happened last week when I didn't see him, but now that almost a whole week has passed and I still haven't seen him, I'm pretty sure he's gone for good. He was my boy and I'm sad I'll probably never get to hold him again.
So far my little guy is hanging on, but still not really eating anything but hand fed corn flakes.....
Sorry about your kitty!! That is so hard!
Glad your little guy is hanging in there. Maybe he just needs to serious TLC that only hand fed corn flakes can provide.
I was really struggling with Owen being gone yesterday. Every time I'd think about him, I'd bread down in tears. I hope he makes his way back home. That's him in my profile picture.
Aww... I am so sorry about your cat. That is why all my cats are 100% indoor, I am so paranoid. I am currently courting a feral all black cat on my porch that I have been feeding for about a year now...trying to get him inside eventually. Not that I need 4.
And speaking of 4... I have a fifth cat that I started feeding on my porch every day too... black and white. Totally friendly. I finally took him to the vet on Monday and he is microchipped! So we are tracking his owners, which I am sure they dumped him, so far we traced him to a shelter in TN, then he was adopted and taken to DE, then surrendered to a shelter near my home, so now we are trying to find out if the shelter readopted him out or if he somehow got free.
I had to let him loose again (wasn't spending hundreds on a cat that I had to hand over to someone else) and I can't have him in my home until he is tested for feline AIDS And leukemia. So still feeding him on the porch. I am worried something will happen before the vet agrees I can keep him and will treat him. So I may soon have 4 in house, and one on the porch. Then eventually maybe I'll get Porch Kitty into my condo. Then it will be 5. I basically have a Kitty Condo. I swore I would never have more than 3. I am becoming a crazy cat lady.0 -
nicsflyingcircus wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Caught up!
I'm not too worried about this parenting thing. I'm worried about the nitty, grittiness of sleep deprivation and exhaustion that comes with the early days, but beyond ensuring the kid's physical well-being, I feel like the actual 'parenting' part will be okay. I'm a decent person. My husband is a decent person. My parents were decent people and my siblings and I turned out fine. Not a lot of drama, not a lot of scares and we all put up with one another to varying degrees. Sure I expect there will be arguments and frustrations and bumps in the road, but I'm not aiming for perfection as I think that probably doesn't exist.
Am I being too blasé about the whole thing?!
Nah. I will say though that based on nothing but my time on pregnancy message boards (tip: do not go to a pregnancy message board, the craziest people spend all day there) most first babies seem to be easy. That's how they trick you into having another one. My oldest was the easiest baby in the world. I found myself thinking "why do people complain about this?". Five years later when I had my daughter, I found out how bad it could be. My daughter has also taught me to be a lot less judgmental about parenting styles. I parented her in the same general way as my son, and she is ?
I feel this exact way about my 4th child. She can be so sweet sometimes, but EVERYTHING is a damned battle with her. I cannot possibly convey how mule-obstinate she can be about the smallest things. It doesn't help that the older three (one of whom has to share a room with her) have figured out how to trigger her demon rages.
All her teachers love her though, so I am occasionally "grateful" she saves her insanity for her father and I mostly.
This is spot on my daughter too. My husband are always getting how sweet and polite and well behaved and helpful she is. That's awesome, FOR YOU. You should see her at home. Not helpful at all unless she feels like it which is almost never!
Yesterday I just want to punch her in the face. She was going to an end of the year school dance and changed into shorts. It was 50 degrees outside and I told her she'd freeze if she wore shorts. She said, "You've never been to one of our dances and I am always hot." I argued with her back and forth then finally said word for word, "FINE! Freeze your *kitten* off, I don't care! Get out of my house!" Yesterday was NOT the day to come at me. Not my best mommy moment, but I didn't feel bad either.
Oh, kids. Something I was told a long time ago helped a bit when the kids were little: from day one kids are told what to do, how to do it, when to do it, what to wear, what to eat, etc. by EVERYONE around them. By rebelling and lashing out they are simply trying to make a decision for themselves. As far as the example of the shorts, depending on age, don't even start with the word "no" (kids automatically tune out after that). Just say, "Do you want to wear these jeans, these red pants, or these blue sweats?" (or whatever is appropriate) Doesn't always work but by frequently giving them an option to make their own decisions the other battles subside.
Give them options of what they can eat; give them options of when they can do chores or homework. All within your own boundaries of course, but presenting them options gives them a sense of control over their own lives. Calms down the inner rebellion monster somewhat.
I will try to keep "no" to a minimum. Never thought about it that way before, thank you.
Those are all really great points and I try to give her choices and she usually says, "I don't want to do any of those", to which I reply, "Well, those are your options so you have to pick one." Don't get me wrong, she's a GREAT kid. Spunky, witty, funny, sweet, loving, compassionate, responsible, and a lot of other great adjectives, but there are just times when I can't stand to be around her. Yesterday was one of those days. I didn't really want to be around anyone yesterday. My husband even asked me if I was depressed last night before bed. I don't think I am, I'm just pmsing and missing my Owen.
Maybe I just need a cookie.
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pofoster21 wrote: »
You do have to find the right ones though. Not TOO padded...that just causes more problems. And try Hoo Ha Ride Glide:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_6?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=hoo+ha+ride+glide&sprefix=hoo+ha,aps,168
Totally helps. I actually get more sore in the creases of my legs where they connect to my body... that for me gets really painful if I don't carefully arrange the shorts as I am biking.
Best name of a product ever!
Well it is descriptive! And it works!0 -
We have talked about doing a Disney cruise where the kids would be at the kid stuff a lot. I think we may do that the end of this year so that's a start. But even then I can see him not wanting to be away from them for too long. Now we're talking about perfect strangers being in charge of our kids.
I have a coworker who did that earlier this year, and she said the kids were SO occupied the entire time, it was great. Sounds like maybe a good compromise!
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