Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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CountessKitteh wrote: »annette_15 wrote: »xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »
Serious question here: What if you don't want that? I'm 47 - the only people who see me naked is my husband and my dog (she judges me - she recently lost 15% of her bodyweight and is smug about it). I live in a climate where I'm covered up a lot of the time. All I really want is to look ok in my clothes. I feel like MFP is often all about lifting weights, and I'm just not interested in doing that.52cardpickup wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Confession: I don’t know what my goal weight should be. I’m 5’9 and currently weigh 221. (That’s a big step since I’ve never admitted that to anyone!) I had the goal set at 200, but didn’t feel like that was low enough. It’s now set at 190, but now I don’t feel like that is low enough either. I weighed 180 the year before my son was born and felt awesome. I weighed 160 when I graduated from high school (and thought I was fat). I know I’ll probably find a weight where I feel comfortable and don’t have to kill myself in the gym every day. I understand all the numbers. Just not sure if I can get back to the 160s mainly because I don’t know if I have the dedication. Looking for some advice from some of you. That seems like a lot of numbers and rambling.
I'm 5'9" and currently 134. I was originally looking to get down to 135, but I'm now looking to pack on some weight again in the form of muscle. Not sure if I want to do that in the form of a bulk or a recomp. I'd be happy to send you some progress photos, if that would help you.
My biggest regret is not weight training more consistently in my weight loss, if I'm being honest.
Eventually, once goals are close to being met or have already passed, this is what it will come down to. If you want to be skinny as a rail, fine. Diet and cardio all day, every day. But unless you are naturally blessed, if you want a fitness magazine cover body, you HAVE to do some strength training.
I agree with all of this. I feel like there's a lot of pressure from a lot of people to jump on the weight lifting bandwagon for aesthetic reasons, and a lot of people throw out "LIFT HEAVY" as the be all and end all of exercise without considering other people's interest/disinterest/goals/physical limitations/aspirations/time/what have you.
This morning there was a thread started by a person who was depressed because they weighed in at 501 pounds, and one of the first suggestions was that they start squatting and deadlifting. Seriously? SMDH. I get the feeling that people don't read the original post, they just respond with an automatic blurb.
On the other hand, weight lifting (OR resistance training, and THAT IS THE KEY!) is great for reasons aside from aesthetics... it strengthens bones and bone density, aids in living independently into old age, etc. It doesn't mean that you have to squat 300 lbs and bench press 1000, or look like Arnold, or stand in front of the mirror kissing your muscles and taking selfies. I just believe that an exercise routine should be balanced like an "eating routine" (don'twanttosaydiet) should be balanced.
sorry if this came across as judge-y *hangs head in shame and slinks off*
THIS (bold) is why I took up lifting.
And because it's easy. "Easy" in that it doesn't require grace or coordination or skill or athletic ability, all of which I lack. Just a basic awareness of your own body mechanics and the willingness to press on, even on those days when it feels like you've been run over by a truck (lorry for you Brits) and then thrown down a flight of stairs. At least that was my experience anyway... yoga bores me to tears, I can't do aerobics or zumba to save my life, never played sports, but I can pick up a barbell repeatedly. Hey, whaddya know, I'm good at something.
This weekend I walked around a garden center with a big spirea, two rhododendrons and a rose bush in my arms (it was a feat of balance as much as strength). Carried them to my car and put them in the trunk. I want to be able to do that 20 years from now, not be the frail little old lady waiting for the nice young man to help with the carryout.
Aesthetically, I've discovered that I like seeing muscles. Visible proof of all the work I've done. It keeps me motivated. I'm one of the ones who looked pretty good in clothes, but I wasn't too happy with the naked body that menopause has given me. I'm also learning my limitations -- there are some saggy bits that no amount of weightlifting is going to change.
I've seen it posted around these parts before but the key to "fitness" is to find an activity that you love and are going to stick with -- which isn't necessarily going to be the activity that someone else loves.
You, I like. You can stay in this thread
I try Yoga. I love the stretching part but I can't get my Downward Dog to bend at all and I end up doing what I like to call the Flopping Fish instead. I like Zumba but I kina look like a deranged zebra. Walking fast and lifting weights is what I like more. I can do it, I don't need to be coordinated, it feels good to make my body move.
Lol. Good thing, I'm addicted to this thread and you wouldn't get rid of me anyway
Even having to catch up on 230 new posts at the end of the day yesterday didn't deter me.
I walk too.
But if I look at the scenery too much or don't pay attention to where I'm putting my feet, I've been known to lurch and stumble. I'm THAT uncoordinated.
I think I've read all the posts but haven't been able to reply... welcome back @ShibaEars... congrats to all who have lost weight or reached goal... @Italian_Buju loving the pics of Little Rodent Boy's sweet little furry face (I've had to backtrack to see them, they don't show at work).
Not having kids, I've never seen Frozen or Finding Nemo or SpongeBob or any of those. I can probably identify the characters, however, solely from seeing the merchandise prominently displayed in stores.
I highly suggest you watch this! If no other "kid's" movie ever, watch Finding Nemo.
I would add Ice Age to that as well.... funniest movies ever
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Oops, I forgot about the recommendation to see Finding Nemo.
Hey, at least I've seen Ice Age! (I won the DVD in a gift basket at a charity raffle) And Up.CountessKitteh wrote: »Lip balm addicts - I possess CAKE BATTER Chapstick. That is all.
I'm a sucker for cake-type flavoured things, including non-edibles like body lotions. May have to find this.
It's pretty fantastic. I think I got it in a 3 pack at Target (3 Cake Batter ones, mind you), but I've definitely seen it other places. I should probably hoard them all in case it goes away. Ha.
Oh, awesome... I'll be in the US again next week, and dragging my poor SO around Target in search of totally random merchandise once more.
He does occasionally ask me how I know about the stuff I'm looking for. I just tell him "Duuuuude.... the INTERNET".
HAHA first time I can use GFT!!! YAY! But you're hilarious, and correct.
ETA: Totally wiped out on my first "QFT" attempt...god I suck. I meant QFT whoops!0 -
TOM started yesterday, which explains why I was so emotional and sensitive this weekend. Two weeks from now I have a bridal shower, elementary (grade school) reunion and a 5k race. I will not binge eat during TOM dammit, I guess there is a lot of tea and gum in my future lol0
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Wow, today has been busy in here. I can't even begin to keep up. But my name is Shirley. I hate it. Who the heck names their kid Shirley .
My oldest daughter is Rachel, and although I can't admit this to my DH, she was named after the Friend's character. Both daughters have somewhat unusual middle names, Raven and Rain. No Shirleys, because I just couldn't do that to them.
And don't call me Shirley!
I also named my daughter after Rachel Karen Green. However, we spelled it Rachael because my husband's name is Michael and I wanted to honor him in spelling her name similar to his. He absolutely knows that's where I got the name and she does too. She has a cousin named Raven.
Wow, and I have a sister named Karen. I was always jealous that she got the better name.
I used to work at a Wendy's when I was 19, and one of the managers was always saying "and don't call me Shirley". The funny thing is I had never seen the movie and he had to explain why it was funny. I've since seen it, though.
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Even though I've lost weight almost every week, have logged my food diligently all week and my clothes are not tighter and it is okay if I don't lose every week I am still scared to step on the scale. Every week I grit my teeth and close my eyes as I step on it. I also always weigh myself about 3 times in a row to be sure.
Speaking of getting things off my chest- one of my breasts seems to be shrinking faster than the other one as I lose weight.
^^^ ALL of this lol! Including the boob issue.
Also, I measure a serving size of wine (5oz) in my daughters baby bottles just to be sure its EXACTLY 5 oz. I pour it in a wine glass to drink it, I promise!
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annette_15 wrote: »
Not having kids, I've never seen Frozen or Finding Nemo or SpongeBob or any of those. I can probably identify the characters, however, solely from seeing the merchandise prominently displayed in stores.
I highly suggest you watch this! If no other "kid's" movie ever, watch Finding Nemo.
I would add Ice Age to that as well.... funniest movies ever.
The Shrek movies are also hilarious and many of the jokes are way over the heads of most children, clearly meant for the parents watching along.
I love that my daughter is now watching the movies we watched together with her kids! One of her favorites was Master of Disguise. Her son loves it now. As a young teen, I made her watch Grease, 16 Candles, Pretty in Pink, etc. Every now and then, she calls or texts me to say, "Guess what I'm watching right now?" It's usually Grease.
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overlook237 wrote: »I confess that I'm ashamed of myself for not watching "Breaking Bad" sooner. I tried once before, watched the first few episodes, and thought it was boring, but this time around (thank you, Netflix), I really got into it and have joined the "OMG, such an amaaaaazing show" camp. At Target yesterday, I bought a Jesse Pinkman Funko Pop! vinyl figurine and then promptly went onto Amazon and bought a Heisenberg one. So glad to see that Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul won multiple Emmys because they are awesome!
There is absolutely no purpose to this post but thought I'd share anyway
Im in the middle of season 2 right now!
I'm getting ready to start that show! I have a long queue of shows on Netlfix
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riderfangal wrote: »
WOW! That's fantastic! Coming from someone who's struggled with alcohol useage that's so inspiring!
Thank you It was a tough road but now I have an amazing life, great job, and a beautiful little boy! I was kind of scared to post about this because I keep it very private. Not that I am ashamed but simply because I left my past behind me and that's where I plan to keep it but you have all shared so much of your personal struggles I felt "safe" to do so too 0 -
I'm an over eater... and an emotional eater.. I sneak food in when I'm under a lot of stress and it's mainly some type of pastry.
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riderfangal wrote: »
Good for you!0 -
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MissLaaber wrote: »TOM started yesterday, which explains why I was so emotional and sensitive this weekend. Two weeks from now I have a bridal shower, elementary (grade school) reunion and a 5k race. I will not binge eat during TOM dammit, I guess there is a lot of tea and gum in my future lol
Not sure if you prefer fruity or minty gum but I just got the Sugar Free Juicy Fruit Strawberry Starburst flavored gum yesterday...and it definitely helped me not binge last night!!!0 -
Due to circumstances, my grandma (mom's mom) has to move in with us for a few weeks...and I have to share my room. She's moving in on Friday. There goes my solitude and privacy.
The worst part is, I barely know her. I've seen her maybe a handful of times that I can remember in my life, most recently about two years ago. She is not a good "grandma." She has never been interested in knowing me or my siblings.
My own grandma is a stranger. This is gonna be awkward.
I also barely know my mom's siblings; three aunts and an uncle. They have never lived really close to me ever; those three aunts are in Florida and I'm in Ohio.
It's weird because I'm so close with my paternal grandparents and my aunts/uncles/cousins.
It's just weird how you can be close with one side of your family and the other is foreign; when I see my mom's family, it's like meeting them for the first time, every time.
I can relate. I have some weird family dynamics. Losing your privacy and solitude would be really difficult, but I say give it a chance. She may turn out to be a super awesome person! Initially, it will be awkward, but just be yourself and I hope it works out well for all of you!0 -
DeannaCoersCarter wrote: »Alma102724 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »
Don't blame yourself or feel bad for any of the feelings you are experiencing. Death has a way of shaking you up like that, and you had two significant losses in one day. I can't express how sorry I am!Alma102724 wrote: »Ok heres my 3rd contribution to this thread:
My dad AND my dog died on April 19. My dog at 3:00am and my dad at 5:28pm. He had a stroke and was recovering from it, was set to be released, then he had another massive stroke which did it for him. He was on a breathing tube, which he was against from the get go, but he was able to communicate with his foot. (up and down for yes, side to side for no) I was able to talk to him and ask him questions like "Do you understand what will happen if we take the tube out?" So in a sense I was able to get some type of closure. However right now, at this moment, I feel guilty for being so impatient with him towards his last days, I feel guilty for sometimes not even missing him, and I feel guilty for forgetting that he's gone. Towards the end of his days, he was either in dialysis or in the hospital and when he was home, he said very little but was always upbeat and happy (for the most part, well as happy as he could be given the situation/s he was put in.) It just feels like I didn't "feel" his passing even though as I write this it hurts my heart knowing he's gone.
My dog, we had her for 15 years. When my dad was diagnosed with renal failure so was my dog, when he was diagnosed with arthritis so was she, etc. She was close to him but she was still my dog. When he had his first stroke she had a seizure. When he had his second one she had another seizure. She stopped eating and I blame myself for not watching her as I should have because for a whole week we were going back and forth to the hospital to be at my dad's bedside. I just wanted to spend as much time with him as possible because I knew he wasn't going to be around for much longer. I didn't want to believe it but somehow I gave in to it and it wasn't until the day before her passing that I realized how thin she had gotten. We came home that night to sleep for a few hours and shower, my dad had since been taken off the breathing tube and it was just a waiting game at that point. I let her in, she was breathing rapidly so I thought it was just because she was excited and would calm down. She never did. She started throwing up nothing because there was nothing in her stomach so it was a dry heeve type of thing. I took her to the ER, once I pulled in to the parking lot she passed out. I thought she died. I ran inside screaming and she threw up some foamy stuff. The doctor ran out to meet me and took her back. I fell in to one of the consult rooms where I was inconsolable. I knew if she died my dad would follow. The tech came out told me how much it would be to stabalize her and I told her to do it I didnt care, it was my dog just save her. A few minutes later the doctor comes out and tells me she has fluid in her lungs and around her heart and he needed me to decide what I wanted to do. I knew I was going to have to contribute to my dad's funeral expenses and I knew if they drained it, it would just come back again.
I chose to have her put down rather than the latter. Now I feel guilty for not saving her, for not doing everything I could to take care of her. It all happened so fast.
I called my brother who stayed with my dad that night, screaming and crying for him to check on dad and make sure he was breathing, he was. I went back home with my dog in a plastic bag, let her two girls (she had puppies once, I kept two) say goodbye and we buried her. I slept for maybe an hour and it was off to the hospital again.
My dad passed later that day at 5:28pm.
I feel guilty for a lot of this. I feel like I'm cold for not missing either one of them, when everyone told me they saw the love I had for them both, but as I write this I can't help but feel so much hurt inside of me.
We came home to find my dad's recliner empty and my dog's bed as well. She wasn't there to comfort me and neither was he. Our house feels so strange now.
I don't know if this will be of any help to you, but I lost my dad last year. He had been struggling with multiple sclerosis ever since before I was born, and he spent the last years of his life almost completely paralyzed. I lived with him in high school and helped to take care of him (basic things like cooking meals, etc), but I feel horrible about how irritated I was at him sometimes for needing the treatment he did (too hot, too cold, needed to be turned over in his bed). Saying this feels me with shame, but I loved him deeply as it sounds like you did your own father. We are people too, though, and can't always be perfect individuals.
For a long time I just felt shock over it, and still do in a sense... I don't cry over him very often at all (there have been times when I have been overcome with grief and couldn't get out of bed), and feel guilty about it, but I cannot bring myself to say the word ''dad'' unless I am talking to my family... it brings up all these sad feelings.
Whether you cry or are in shock or cannot bring yourself to feel much of anything, people mourn and grieve in different ways and it doesn't mean you didn't care. Again, I'm so sorry.
Yes that is exactly how I felt! Especially how you mentioned not crying at all, some days I'm so nonchalant about everything. Then there's days like this, where I think I should be sad.
For him it was always too hot or cold, too much light coming in it had to always be dark and I'd get so frustrated and tell him he needed to be in the sunlight and he'd say his eyes hurt with the bright light. I didn't realize to what extent that's why I feel bad.
I can't say my dad is dead out loud or anything mentioning the word death, dying, etc. I just can't. Honestly (confession) I feel worse watching my mom cry than knowing my dad is gone. At least I know he's not suffering but her, she loved that man. She was with him 40+ years I can't imagine what she must be feeling.
Death has a way of making everyone react differently. Some people can let it out while others sit back and feel guilt or complete disbelief. You grieve differently than everyone else and you'll see yourself heal in different ways. It does get better though. Just remember that no one is perfect and it sounds like you took care of him. That's a great thing to do, honestly. You sound like a great person. Take a deep breath and realize that it's just the process of grieving.
Well said and welcome to the thread!0 -
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karenlwashburn wrote: »I don't like people talking to me, even saying hello, when I'm working out and by the end of the season I have about 6 neighbors bugging me per workout.. I look forward to cold weather so I have it as an excuse not to workout anymore. I had one guy last year every day show me how large his dog was getting it made me so mad as I was timing myself and didn't want to be bothered. My husband says I have "hang ups".
I feel like this is perfectly reasonable! I love my husband, but he can drive me nuts when I'm working out. He doesn't work out so he doesn't get it at all. He thinks nothing of asking me a question in the middle of a set or when I'm in the middle of a Zumba session.
Oh gosh yes. If I work out when my guy is here, he always bothers me, even when I point blank tell him that it is annoying. I think he just wants my attention since we've been apart all day, so I've started working out right after I drop off the kids at school so that I'm home alone!
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kelly_c_77 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »
The funny thing is that my sister's name is Georgia. People always get a good laugh over that when we introduce ourselves at the same timeFluffySandwich wrote: »And about names- mine is Savannah. My mom was going to name me Isabella if I had dark hair, but I was born blonde.... so Savannah it was. It's a pretty popular name in the Southern United States, but in Montreal it has gotten butchered so many times. I haven't met a single person with my name up here!
I named one of my former dogs Savannah, for Savannah Georgia actually, because I always wanted to go there. All of my dogs since then have had geographic names.
When one of my young coworkers was pregnant, knew she was having a girl, and couldn't think of a girl's name... I suggested Savannah. My rationale was that her son had the same name as one of my earlier dogs so her second child should be named after my dog too. Turns out her husband went to school with a Savannah and didn't like the girl so Savannah was tainted for him as a name. However, ever since then I have referred to her daughter as Savannah instead of her real name.
I agree, it's really difficult watching the (still living) loved ones around you suffer. I cried a lot during the funeral. And you're right about our dads not suffering anymore, at least there is thatAlma102724 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »
Don't blame yourself or feel bad for any of the feelings you are experiencing. Death has a way of shaking you up like that, and you had two significant losses in one day. I can't express how sorry I am!Alma102724 wrote: »Ok heres my 3rd contribution to this thread:
My dad AND my dog died on April 19. My dog at 3:00am and my dad at 5:28pm. He had a stroke and was recovering from it, was set to be released, then he had another massive stroke which did it for him. He was on a breathing tube, which he was against from the get go, but he was able to communicate with his foot. (up and down for yes, side to side for no) I was able to talk to him and ask him questions like "Do you understand what will happen if we take the tube out?" So in a sense I was able to get some type of closure. However right now, at this moment, I feel guilty for being so impatient with him towards his last days, I feel guilty for sometimes not even missing him, and I feel guilty for forgetting that he's gone. Towards the end of his days, he was either in dialysis or in the hospital and when he was home, he said very little but was always upbeat and happy (for the most part, well as happy as he could be given the situation/s he was put in.) It just feels like I didn't "feel" his passing even though as I write this it hurts my heart knowing he's gone.
My dog, we had her for 15 years. When my dad was diagnosed with renal failure so was my dog, when he was diagnosed with arthritis so was she, etc. She was close to him but she was still my dog. When he had his first stroke she had a seizure. When he had his second one she had another seizure. She stopped eating and I blame myself for not watching her as I should have because for a whole week we were going back and forth to the hospital to be at my dad's bedside. I just wanted to spend as much time with him as possible because I knew he wasn't going to be around for much longer. I didn't want to believe it but somehow I gave in to it and it wasn't until the day before her passing that I realized how thin she had gotten. We came home that night to sleep for a few hours and shower, my dad had since been taken off the breathing tube and it was just a waiting game at that point. I let her in, she was breathing rapidly so I thought it was just because she was excited and would calm down. She never did. She started throwing up nothing because there was nothing in her stomach so it was a dry heeve type of thing. I took her to the ER, once I pulled in to the parking lot she passed out. I thought she died. I ran inside screaming and she threw up some foamy stuff. The doctor ran out to meet me and took her back. I fell in to one of the consult rooms where I was inconsolable. I knew if she died my dad would follow. The tech came out told me how much it would be to stabalize her and I told her to do it I didnt care, it was my dog just save her. A few minutes later the doctor comes out and tells me she has fluid in her lungs and around her heart and he needed me to decide what I wanted to do. I knew I was going to have to contribute to my dad's funeral expenses and I knew if they drained it, it would just come back again.
I chose to have her put down rather than the latter. Now I feel guilty for not saving her, for not doing everything I could to take care of her. It all happened so fast.
I called my brother who stayed with my dad that night, screaming and crying for him to check on dad and make sure he was breathing, he was. I went back home with my dog in a plastic bag, let her two girls (she had puppies once, I kept two) say goodbye and we buried her. I slept for maybe an hour and it was off to the hospital again.
My dad passed later that day at 5:28pm.
I feel guilty for a lot of this. I feel like I'm cold for not missing either one of them, when everyone told me they saw the love I had for them both, but as I write this I can't help but feel so much hurt inside of me.
We came home to find my dad's recliner empty and my dog's bed as well. She wasn't there to comfort me and neither was he. Our house feels so strange now.
I don't know if this will be of any help to you, but I lost my dad last year. He had been struggling with multiple sclerosis ever since before I was born, and he spent the last years of his life almost completely paralyzed. I lived with him in high school and helped to take care of him (basic things like cooking meals, etc), but I feel horrible about how irritated I was at him sometimes for needing the treatment he did (too hot, too cold, needed to be turned over in his bed). Saying this feels me with shame, but I loved him deeply as it sounds like you did your own father. We are people too, though, and can't always be perfect individuals.
For a long time I just felt shock over it, and still do in a sense... I don't cry over him very often at all (there have been times when I have been overcome with grief and couldn't get out of bed), and feel guilty about it, but I cannot bring myself to say the word ''dad'' unless I am talking to my family... it brings up all these sad feelings.
Whether you cry or are in shock or cannot bring yourself to feel much of anything, people mourn and grieve in different ways and it doesn't mean you didn't care. Again, I'm so sorry.
Yes that is exactly how I felt! Especially how you mentioned not crying at all, some days I'm so nonchalant about everything. Then there's days like this, where I think I should be sad.
For him it was always too hot or cold, too much light coming in it had to always be dark and I'd get so frustrated and tell him he needed to be in the sunlight and he'd say his eyes hurt with the bright light. I didn't realize to what extent that's why I feel bad.
I can't say my dad is dead out loud or anything mentioning the word death, dying, etc. I just can't. Honestly (confession) I feel worse watching my mom cry than knowing my dad is gone. At least I know he's not suffering but her, she loved that man. She was with him 40+ years I can't imagine what she must be feeling.
I have to agree with this also. My parents were together for almost 50 years when my mom passed last year. My mom was a stay at home mom and my dad retired at an early age. So once he retired, they were both home every day together for the past 25 years and were so close. They built their own little world in that house and now my dad has to live in it...alone. It is heartbreaking. Going through my mom's things to help clean out the house was just awful...everything in there had a memory to go with it...and we had to see my dad struggle with each item he touched. In my 36 years, I had never seen my dad cry...until last year. Now it's kind of normal to see him cry...because he does it so often.
That is heartbreaking, and I get where you are coming from. My dad was always a brutish bull type of dude. When my mom passed away two years ago he broke. Now he is a huge puppy dog and it is taking me a while to get used to it, but I love my dad and only wish my mom had gotten to see him as the humble caring man he is now.
Ps. Lucky for my dad my parents rented so we got him a new smaller apartment asap so as not to have him sitting in an apartment full of memories.
Thank you..and to the others who have responded.
The only "good" thing that has come from everything is that my siblings and I talk to my Dad every day on the phone now..and keep in way better touch with each other as well. If we didn't call him every day...he would be completely alone and not talk to anyone until he goes to do his groceries once a week. In the past, it wasn't uncommon to go 2 weeks without talking to my parents...and months/years without contact with my siblings. My mom would be so happy to see how much we've come together. It's just such a shame that it couldn't have happened sooner..and under better circumstances.
Sorry for your loss, as well.0 -
Confession: I'm a bad friend. My best friend is moving into a new house in a couple weeks. She created an event thing on Facebook asking people to come help them move. I have no desire to help them. I hate moving myself, why would I want to move someone else? I'm also not overly fond of her family, or her husband and his family (who will be there). What makes me feel worse about my laziness is that she's 8 months pregnant and isn't able to do any of the moving/lifting. In my defense she will have (at least) her husband, 2 brothers-in-law, 1 sister-in- law (and her boyfriend), and most likely both sets of parents moving them. So... with 7-9 people helping, do I really need to be there? I feel terrible, but I still don't want to do it.
Sometimes I feel like an alien from outer space. I see you all describe situations like this and I'm left blinking and wondering if it is normal to expect other people to help you move. I'd probably be suckered into it just because I wouldn't know whether or not I was supposed to do it. I don't think you should do it just because you feel terrible though.
I'm the same way. I don't get the "expectation". Then again I'm known as the meanie in real life because I drive a full size truck. It's often "assumed" I can / will help since I have a truck to help haul! NO. If I'm going out of town do I expect to drive your economy-sized car to save gas? Well alright then. Hire movers or figure it out. No one touches my truck. (sorry, rant, touchy subject for me)0 -
Glinda1971 wrote: »
Myberlynnwall wrote: »[="Francl27;32842296"]I confess that after hearing everyone butchering my name, I just decided to use very common and traditional names for my kids. And also considered changing my name when I got my US citizenship a year ago... just decided against it because I didn't want more paperwork.
Even though I had a popular name, I named my kids traditional names. I tried not to give them a top 10 name like mine, but I did choose regular names with regular spellings. I 100% don't judge what other parents do. I feel like I have to say that. Not judgmental!
Also, I don't plan to change my last name since being married. My oldest has my last name and I feel like it would be pretty crappy to leave him as the only one with that name. Also, I don't care about that particular tradition and my husband doesn't care either. We know we are married.
My husband would love if I change mine, but I've had this last name for 43 years. The different last name is just not me.
If that makes sense. [/quote]
It makes sense to me!
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pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Jumping in on the name thing- I am Cecilia, named after my grandfather Cecil. One of my first bosses called me CC, which I morphed to Ceci. (My family calls me C-ya) My married name is of Greek origin and I love that I have a unique name!
I named my daughter Samantha (would have been Samuel if a boy), because I wanted a Sam. (She goes by Sami now.)
I love the name Cecilia! So pretty! I don't have kids or pets so I name my cars My first car in high school and college was named Goldie because she was gold, I know real original! My second car was named Grace because she was the color grey and my car now her name is Cecily! I call her Cess the sesspool haha even though I keep her very tidy! I named her Cecily because she's a Civic! My next car is going to be a Buick Encore and I've already decided to name her Bianca 
PS. My dad said cars are always girls so I've always just named them girls names!
Fun fact: In Arabic we don't have a gender neutral word like "it" to call objects, so all objects have a gender and are either male or female, so we call them he or she depending on which gender the word falls under. Cars are, in fact, female.
That is cool. Do you get to pick the gender? So can you decide a car is female and a table male? And someone else decide the reverse? Or is everyone aligned?
I'm guessing they are always the same. In Spanish, they have the same thing like "el sol" and "la cucaracha" if you see "el" in front of something, it's masculine, "la" for feminine.
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annette_15 wrote: »Whew, finally caught up... only took all day lol.
Some confessions
Theres a lot of posts, especially the very personal, heartbreaking, sad ones I wanna respond to, but I dont know what to say because I cant really relate to most of it. I havent had people close to me die, I dont have kids and I guess I've just had a pretty 'easy' life thus far. Im always scared I'll say something that comes off wrong, so I tend to ignore it. I read it all tho
Im going to EDC in two weeks time, and I ordered some pretty out of my comfort zone rave type clothing. I will probably be doing a lot of cardio leading up to it as my outfit will be WAY more revealing than I'm used to (nowhere near what other girls wear to these things tho lol) Here's the bra I got to go with my black high wasted skirt
I'll post pictures of the whole outfit after we go
I had plans earlier today but I cancelled them cause I woke up this morning with a bug bite on my eyelid and it looks really funny cause I cant open my right eye all the way lol
That bra is adorable! Love it! Although with your eye issue, now I'm picturing you in that outfit with an eye patch!0 -
Confession: I have begun to mentally consider how I would train a replacement in only two weeks, if/when I take another position. It's been 3.5 months since one of our managers retired and the other took on both roles (volume has dropped where we definitely don't need two), and she has not once asked how or what I do. Part of me looks forward to the panic that will ensue when I give notice. Whoops.
Unrelated: We're totally going to hit 900 pages tomorrow, aren't we?0 -
AngryViking1970 wrote: »
This reminds me. My husband thanks inanimate objects for things. He's embarrassing at the self-checkouts that talk to you because he'll actually bend down and say 'Thank you' to it.Susieq_1994 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Sounds like you're a naturally strong person, so you probably don't need it. I do. I'm quite the weakling. Well, physically anyway. Mentally, no. Mentally I'm known as the Boot Camp Drill Sargent in my family. Physically, well??? Let's just say that sometimes going in and out of the grocery store I step onto the automatic door thingy and the door doesn't open. Thankfully, I learned from "Toy Story" to jump up and down once or twice and the door opens. My son finds this highly amusing and will lag behind me just to watch it happen.
See and I can picture that and it's awesome. haha
Awesomely embarrassing, yes!
I don't jump up and down, but sometimes I have to cha cha back and forth to catch the sensor. We'd be a blast trying to get into the store together.
I just wave at it... When I was a kid and I was too young (read: short) for the sensor (it's at the top of the door around here...) to see me, a male employee came over and just waved at it and it opened. I've been doing that ever since, and it works every time. I probably still look like a moron, waving at the door... "Hey there, door!"
I talk to the self check out machines too... but usually it's to curse at them LOL.
Like this?
That's how I was today at Wal-Mart. Argh!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Ok so folks that remember the litany of cats in my life... Porch Kitty showed up today with...3 kittens. God help me.
Haha! Soon you are gonna have your own mini shelter!
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I ventured on to the main board. Nope, not doing that again. Staying here in my safe thread. Sometimes I feel like I should adjust my stats to show I've lost 139/21 to go instead of the 19 down/21 to go that I have now. I've been on here since 2009, albeit mostly lurking just because of the snide comments you get on the main board. I'm not a noob. I'm also not uninformed.
God forbid anyone espouse an opinion that isn't strictly in line with what 90% of the board thinks *sigh* apparently I'm all in my feels about it.0 -
AngryViking1970 wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »
The funny thing is that my sister's name is Georgia. People always get a good laugh over that when we introduce ourselves at the same timeFluffySandwich wrote: »And about names- mine is Savannah. My mom was going to name me Isabella if I had dark hair, but I was born blonde.... so Savannah it was. It's a pretty popular name in the Southern United States, but in Montreal it has gotten butchered so many times. I haven't met a single person with my name up here!
I named one of my former dogs Savannah, for Savannah Georgia actually, because I always wanted to go there. All of my dogs since then have had geographic names.
When one of my young coworkers was pregnant, knew she was having a girl, and couldn't think of a girl's name... I suggested Savannah. My rationale was that her son had the same name as one of my earlier dogs so her second child should be named after my dog too. Turns out her husband went to school with a Savannah and didn't like the girl so Savannah was tainted for him as a name. However, ever since then I have referred to her daughter as Savannah instead of her real name.
I agree, it's really difficult watching the (still living) loved ones around you suffer. I cried a lot during the funeral. And you're right about our dads not suffering anymore, at least there is thatAlma102724 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »
Don't blame yourself or feel bad for any of the feelings you are experiencing. Death has a way of shaking you up like that, and you had two significant losses in one day. I can't express how sorry I am!Alma102724 wrote: »Ok heres my 3rd contribution to this thread:
My dad AND my dog died on April 19. My dog at 3:00am and my dad at 5:28pm. He had a stroke and was recovering from it, was set to be released, then he had another massive stroke which did it for him. He was on a breathing tube, which he was against from the get go, but he was able to communicate with his foot. (up and down for yes, side to side for no) I was able to talk to him and ask him questions like "Do you understand what will happen if we take the tube out?" So in a sense I was able to get some type of closure. However right now, at this moment, I feel guilty for being so impatient with him towards his last days, I feel guilty for sometimes not even missing him, and I feel guilty for forgetting that he's gone. Towards the end of his days, he was either in dialysis or in the hospital and when he was home, he said very little but was always upbeat and happy (for the most part, well as happy as he could be given the situation/s he was put in.) It just feels like I didn't "feel" his passing even though as I write this it hurts my heart knowing he's gone.
My dog, we had her for 15 years. When my dad was diagnosed with renal failure so was my dog, when he was diagnosed with arthritis so was she, etc. She was close to him but she was still my dog. When he had his first stroke she had a seizure. When he had his second one she had another seizure. She stopped eating and I blame myself for not watching her as I should have because for a whole week we were going back and forth to the hospital to be at my dad's bedside. I just wanted to spend as much time with him as possible because I knew he wasn't going to be around for much longer. I didn't want to believe it but somehow I gave in to it and it wasn't until the day before her passing that I realized how thin she had gotten. We came home that night to sleep for a few hours and shower, my dad had since been taken off the breathing tube and it was just a waiting game at that point. I let her in, she was breathing rapidly so I thought it was just because she was excited and would calm down. She never did. She started throwing up nothing because there was nothing in her stomach so it was a dry heeve type of thing. I took her to the ER, once I pulled in to the parking lot she passed out. I thought she died. I ran inside screaming and she threw up some foamy stuff. The doctor ran out to meet me and took her back. I fell in to one of the consult rooms where I was inconsolable. I knew if she died my dad would follow. The tech came out told me how much it would be to stabalize her and I told her to do it I didnt care, it was my dog just save her. A few minutes later the doctor comes out and tells me she has fluid in her lungs and around her heart and he needed me to decide what I wanted to do. I knew I was going to have to contribute to my dad's funeral expenses and I knew if they drained it, it would just come back again.
I chose to have her put down rather than the latter. Now I feel guilty for not saving her, for not doing everything I could to take care of her. It all happened so fast.
I called my brother who stayed with my dad that night, screaming and crying for him to check on dad and make sure he was breathing, he was. I went back home with my dog in a plastic bag, let her two girls (she had puppies once, I kept two) say goodbye and we buried her. I slept for maybe an hour and it was off to the hospital again.
My dad passed later that day at 5:28pm.
I feel guilty for a lot of this. I feel like I'm cold for not missing either one of them, when everyone told me they saw the love I had for them both, but as I write this I can't help but feel so much hurt inside of me.
We came home to find my dad's recliner empty and my dog's bed as well. She wasn't there to comfort me and neither was he. Our house feels so strange now.
I don't know if this will be of any help to you, but I lost my dad last year. He had been struggling with multiple sclerosis ever since before I was born, and he spent the last years of his life almost completely paralyzed. I lived with him in high school and helped to take care of him (basic things like cooking meals, etc), but I feel horrible about how irritated I was at him sometimes for needing the treatment he did (too hot, too cold, needed to be turned over in his bed). Saying this feels me with shame, but I loved him deeply as it sounds like you did your own father. We are people too, though, and can't always be perfect individuals.
For a long time I just felt shock over it, and still do in a sense... I don't cry over him very often at all (there have been times when I have been overcome with grief and couldn't get out of bed), and feel guilty about it, but I cannot bring myself to say the word ''dad'' unless I am talking to my family... it brings up all these sad feelings.
Whether you cry or are in shock or cannot bring yourself to feel much of anything, people mourn and grieve in different ways and it doesn't mean you didn't care. Again, I'm so sorry.
Yes that is exactly how I felt! Especially how you mentioned not crying at all, some days I'm so nonchalant about everything. Then there's days like this, where I think I should be sad.
For him it was always too hot or cold, too much light coming in it had to always be dark and I'd get so frustrated and tell him he needed to be in the sunlight and he'd say his eyes hurt with the bright light. I didn't realize to what extent that's why I feel bad.
I can't say my dad is dead out loud or anything mentioning the word death, dying, etc. I just can't. Honestly (confession) I feel worse watching my mom cry than knowing my dad is gone. At least I know he's not suffering but her, she loved that man. She was with him 40+ years I can't imagine what she must be feeling.
I have to agree with this also. My parents were together for almost 50 years when my mom passed last year. My mom was a stay at home mom and my dad retired at an early age. So once he retired, they were both home every day together for the past 25 years and were so close. They built their own little world in that house and now my dad has to live in it...alone. It is heartbreaking. Going through my mom's things to help clean out the house was just awful...everything in there had a memory to go with it...and we had to see my dad struggle with each item he touched. In my 36 years, I had never seen my dad cry...until last year. Now it's kind of normal to see him cry...because he does it so often.
Ugh I'm so sorry for your loss (hugs) This is why I honestly hope my father goes first (I hate even thinking about this or saying it outloud) I don't think he could live without my mother.
Yeah, my mom died almost 13 years ago and my father has never recovered. He doesn't leave the house, doesn't take care of himself, drinks beer and smokes all day. We lived at the house from the time my son was 1 until he was three, and he wasn't nearly as bad as he is now. My son, who will turn 10 next week, hasn't seen him in almost 3 years because my husband doesn't want him to know his Grampy like this. It's terribly sad, but there is nothing you can say to him that will get him to change. He just wants to "live his life", whatever that means. 0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Ok so folks that remember the litany of cats in my life... Porch Kitty showed up today with...3 kittens. God help me.
Oh no! I went through a period where every animal I had was somehow pregnant. I rescued a cat whose owners just moved out of our apartment building and left her - she gave birth to three kittens about a month later.
Then, I adopted a hamster from the pet store. The next morning I heard a strange noise and low and behold she had given birth overnight, which was weird because they supposedly separate them by gender in the store. I guess I can't blame them though - because it's pretty hard to tell. After they were weaned I bought a separate cage for the boys, and one of the girls still somehow got pregnant again before I could find homes for all of them. I felt like a hamster mill.
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overlook237 wrote: »I confess that I'm ashamed of myself for not watching "Breaking Bad" sooner. I tried once before, watched the first few episodes, and thought it was boring, but this time around (thank you, Netflix), I really got into it and have joined the "OMG, such an amaaaaazing show" camp. At Target yesterday, I bought a Jesse Pinkman Funko Pop! vinyl figurine and then promptly went onto Amazon and bought a Heisenberg one. So glad to see that Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul won multiple Emmys because they are awesome!
There is absolutely no purpose to this post but thought I'd share anyway
LOVE BB!!
My favorite show ever ever ever is Queer As Folk (US version).....anybody ever watch that?? My daughter and I are watching season one now, she is finally old enough to handle all the sex scenes, lol.0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »overlook237 wrote: »I confess that I'm ashamed of myself for not watching "Breaking Bad" sooner. I tried once before, watched the first few episodes, and thought it was boring, but this time around (thank you, Netflix), I really got into it and have joined the "OMG, such an amaaaaazing show" camp. At Target yesterday, I bought a Jesse Pinkman Funko Pop! vinyl figurine and then promptly went onto Amazon and bought a Heisenberg one. So glad to see that Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul won multiple Emmys because they are awesome!
There is absolutely no purpose to this post but thought I'd share anyway
LOVE BB!!
My favorite show ever ever ever is Queer As Folk (US version).....anybody ever watch that?? My daughter and I are watching season one now, she is finally old enough to handle all the sex scenes, lol.
Yep I have all of the old QAF DVDs.0 -
xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »I ventured on to the main board. Nope, not doing that again. Staying here in my safe thread. Sometimes I feel like I should adjust my stats to show I've lost 139/21 to go instead of the 19 down/21 to go that I have now. I've been on here since 2009, albeit mostly lurking just because of the snide comments you get on the main board. I'm not a noob. I'm also not uninformed.
God forbid anyone espouse an opinion that isn't strictly in line with what 90% of the board thinks *sigh* apparently I'm all in my feels about it.
It really is pretty harsh out there. Midol for all of them I say!0 -
Way back in the day we had our monthly staff meetings at a downtown restaurant with an OPEN bar. Drinking and HR videos about avoiding and reporting sexual harassment in the workplace is NOT a good combination! Well, it was fun at the time, but that quickly resulted in staff meetings being at the office with no drinks. Boo.0
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