Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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I do my best to be there for him, at 25 he doesn't have either one of his grandmothers and only one living grandfather, and it's rough on him. He tells me all the time to be thankful I still have the grandparents I have. My maternal grandmother (Mema) is still with us, I don't see my step-grandma or only living grandpa because they cut my parents and myself out of the family (long story), my bio grandma (paternal) committed suicide in 1983, and my granddaddy (maternal grandfather) passed from cancer in 2004. I still have my great-grandma (Mama Tucker) here at the young age of 96, and my husband tells me everyday to never forget just how blessed I am to still have her and my other grandparents. Believe me, I haven't forgotten at all.raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »
I lost my Dad to cancer at 61 in July 2012. It was pretty quick really, he had his kidney removed just over a year before, but then it came back and he deteriorated quickly. I loved my Dad totally, I feel so lucky when some people on here have talked about their upbringings because I had a great childhood.Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »bainsworth1a wrote: »IAmTheGlue wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Finally caught up! My confession is I've been drinking too much...every single day for quite awhile. I am making a commitment to not drink Monday through Thursday this week. Please think good thoughts for me!
ETA: A little embarrassed to admit this quasi publicly, but hoping admitting it on here will make me face reality. Since I know there are several of you that have admitted to stopping for good.
You are so not judged. I'm thinking about (not yet committed to ) a dry June. Yes, it is a big enough of a deal to not drink for an entire month for me but June is my worst month. My dad died 3 years ago on his and my mother's 43rd wedding anniversary, right after Father's Day. I tend to drink and cry from one to the other. I try to keep that as discrete as possible (the drinking, not the crying ) so I'm not a super horrible example to my kids but seriously, it is excessive and it needs to stop.
You are not alone. Many people struggle with cutting back on drinking.
I am sorry for your loss. My father died right after 4th of july 1990 and I still morn him. He was a shot and a beer guy and drank every night before he went to bed. I toast him with a shot and a beer on 4th of july and on his birthday in October. It makes me feel better to keep this ritual in his memory.
My dad died 26 years ago this June, 3 days before my parents wedding annivesary and again, right after Father's Day. Still miss him every day.
Funny how it never seems any easier.....my father died on Dec 3rd, 1991, I still cry every single time that anniversary passes. He died very suddenly, and inadvertently left me alone with my crazy mother, so it was really difficult. He was the person I loved most in the world, and I still miss him every day. My son is named after him, and it makes me tear up when I think about how my son never got to meet him. My sister said she cried a lot when he died too, not only because he was a great stepdad to her, but because she felt bad for the way he was treated by our mother and when he died she felt bad that he wasted so many years of his life being treated like that.
But last year, on only the second anniversary of his death I was really into what I was doing at work at the time and I completely forgot until my brother text to see of I was ok. This made me feel like I was a terrible person. Me and my brother have both always said to my mum that we don't want to mark the occasion, we'd rather continue to celebrate his birthday instead, and her brother and sisters tend to do something with her on the anniversary. But I felt awful that I didn't even realise.
I've never really been much of a crier, and tend to get on with things, but some things will really upset me. Sometimes even imagined things, like a song I think he'd have liked and I imagine him telling me about this great new singer that I was trying to get him into years before, but he'd only have recognised when they came onto radio 2. And when my brother got married last month I got quite upset when we did something to remember him, but I'd not have expected that I would have.
But I have found that it does seem easier, I love my dad and always will, he has played a big part in who I am, and although I miss him when he should be around I know how he would have felt about things and can imagine his reaction. And to me the anniversary of his death is the opposite to special and not something I want to mark.
I don't make a big deal about the day my dad died either. He also died of cancer. And we found him...He had probably got out of bed to go to the bathroom and had a stroke or he may have fallen and hit his head on the side table. My mom had stayed in the spare bedroom because he was getting Chemo and she had a cold and didn't want to affect him. She couldn't find him when she went looking for him and came running into the kitchen where I was having breakfast hysterical she couldn't find him. She thought he had committed suicide, went running for the garage to see if his car was there. When she saw it was she just looked at me like where is he? And I knew. I said 'did you look beside the bed'? She was so confused but I just knew. We went to the bedroom and looked at the far side of the bed and he was laying there. She was hysterical again and kept begging me to do something, to help him. I could tell that he had been gone for hours. I worked as a nursing *kitten*'t at the time, and she thought I should save him. It still breaks my heart that I couldn't do anything to help -- her mostly as he was long gone. I felt guilty about that for years. For years I could never say my dad had died, I only said he was gone. Apparently a lot of cancer patients don't actually die from cancer, they have strokes, etc. before the cancer kills them (at least that is what I remember the doctor telling me at the time). But the day he died is just a day. I prefer to remember all the good stuff he did, none of the bad (which my siblings like to focus on) and I simply miss him every day. But I have 'missed' the day of his death before and felt guilty to not even recognize it. I am always sad on Fathers day and I get bitter when marketers send me emails about 'gifts for dad'. I actually just got one as I was writing this. I wish I could buy my dad a gift.
And now I am sorry I probably just depressed all of you.
That was heart wrenching.
My husband was actually the one that found his grandpa after he passed. He went over after work for something and he was just lying on the couch. He preformed CPR and called 911 but it was too late. He more than likely had a heart attack in his sleep. He was REALLY close to his grandpa, because growing up, his dad was in and out of prison his whole life, so his grandpa was the positive male role model in his life. He still, after almost 14 years, gets choked up when he starts talking about him.
I was there when my grandpa passed away. He was in a home and we all knew it was coming but it was still hard, he just stopped breathing. I remember someone at the funeral talking to me about how it probably made me feel at peace to be there for him at the end but mostly, I hated that I was there. When my grandma started to decline, I was scared to visit because I didn't want to witness her passing as well. I sometimes feel guilty for that.
My husband was there when his grandma died a few years ago. He talks about it and says it gave him more closure than when his grandpa died unexpectedly, but it still affected him. I have a grandma and great grandma in a nursing home and he refuses to go with me to see them because just walking into one brings those memories of his grandma's death back. I've never gone through seeing a loved one die so I don't know what to say when he talks about it, all I can do is give hugs and listen.
That's what he needs
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rosehips60 wrote: »i hide m&m's in an old margarine container so my son and husband can't find them. I don't binge on them but I want to know they are there when i want a treat. I even count the darn things out so I can log them
I put small candy like m&m's, skittles, sour patch etc in a coffee cup, and if my kids come close I pretend to take a drink. *nonchalant*0 -
raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »
I lost my Dad to cancer at 61 in July 2012. It was pretty quick really, he had his kidney removed just over a year before, but then it came back and he deteriorated quickly. I loved my Dad totally, I feel so lucky when some people on here have talked about their upbringings because I had a great childhood.Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »bainsworth1a wrote: »IAmTheGlue wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Finally caught up! My confession is I've been drinking too much...every single day for quite awhile. I am making a commitment to not drink Monday through Thursday this week. Please think good thoughts for me!
ETA: A little embarrassed to admit this quasi publicly, but hoping admitting it on here will make me face reality. Since I know there are several of you that have admitted to stopping for good.
You are so not judged. I'm thinking about (not yet committed to ) a dry June. Yes, it is a big enough of a deal to not drink for an entire month for me but June is my worst month. My dad died 3 years ago on his and my mother's 43rd wedding anniversary, right after Father's Day. I tend to drink and cry from one to the other. I try to keep that as discrete as possible (the drinking, not the crying ) so I'm not a super horrible example to my kids but seriously, it is excessive and it needs to stop.
You are not alone. Many people struggle with cutting back on drinking.
I am sorry for your loss. My father died right after 4th of july 1990 and I still morn him. He was a shot and a beer guy and drank every night before he went to bed. I toast him with a shot and a beer on 4th of july and on his birthday in October. It makes me feel better to keep this ritual in his memory.
My dad died 26 years ago this June, 3 days before my parents wedding annivesary and again, right after Father's Day. Still miss him every day.
Funny how it never seems any easier.....my father died on Dec 3rd, 1991, I still cry every single time that anniversary passes. He died very suddenly, and inadvertently left me alone with my crazy mother, so it was really difficult. He was the person I loved most in the world, and I still miss him every day. My son is named after him, and it makes me tear up when I think about how my son never got to meet him. My sister said she cried a lot when he died too, not only because he was a great stepdad to her, but because she felt bad for the way he was treated by our mother and when he died she felt bad that he wasted so many years of his life being treated like that.
But last year, on only the second anniversary of his death I was really into what I was doing at work at the time and I completely forgot until my brother text to see of I was ok. This made me feel like I was a terrible person. Me and my brother have both always said to my mum that we don't want to mark the occasion, we'd rather continue to celebrate his birthday instead, and her brother and sisters tend to do something with her on the anniversary. But I felt awful that I didn't even realise.
I've never really been much of a crier, and tend to get on with things, but some things will really upset me. Sometimes even imagined things, like a song I think he'd have liked and I imagine him telling me about this great new singer that I was trying to get him into years before, but he'd only have recognised when they came onto radio 2. And when my brother got married last month I got quite upset when we did something to remember him, but I'd not have expected that I would have.
But I have found that it does seem easier, I love my dad and always will, he has played a big part in who I am, and although I miss him when he should be around I know how he would have felt about things and can imagine his reaction. And to me the anniversary of his death is the opposite to special and not something I want to mark.
I don't make a big deal about the day my dad died either. He also died of cancer. And we found him...He had probably got out of bed to go to the bathroom and had a stroke or he may have fallen and hit his head on the side table. My mom had stayed in the spare bedroom because he was getting Chemo and she had a cold and didn't want to affect him. She couldn't find him when she went looking for him and came running into the kitchen where I was having breakfast hysterical she couldn't find him. She thought he had committed suicide, went running for the garage to see if his car was there. When she saw it was she just looked at me like where is he? And I knew. I said 'did you look beside the bed'? She was so confused but I just knew. We went to the bedroom and looked at the far side of the bed and he was laying there. She was hysterical again and kept begging me to do something, to help him. I could tell that he had been gone for hours. I worked as a nursing *kitten*'t at the time, and she thought I should save him. It still breaks my heart that I couldn't do anything to help -- her mostly as he was long gone. I felt guilty about that for years. For years I could never say my dad had died, I only said he was gone. Apparently a lot of cancer patients don't actually die from cancer, they have strokes, etc. before the cancer kills them (at least that is what I remember the doctor telling me at the time). But the day he died is just a day. I prefer to remember all the good stuff he did, none of the bad (which my siblings like to focus on) and I simply miss him every day. But I have 'missed' the day of his death before and felt guilty to not even recognize it. I am always sad on Fathers day and I get bitter when marketers send me emails about 'gifts for dad'. I actually just got one as I was writing this. I wish I could buy my dad a gift.
And now I am sorry I probably just depressed all of you. That was heart wrenching.
My husband was actually the one that found his grandpa after he passed. He went over after work for something and he was just lying on the couch. He preformed CPR and called 911 but it was too late. He more than likely had a heart attack in his sleep. He was REALLY close to his grandpa, because growing up, his dad was in and out of prison his whole life, so his grandpa was the positive male role model in his life. He still, after almost 14 years, gets choked up when he starts talking about him.
I was there when my grandpa passed away. He was in a home and we all knew it was coming but it was still hard, he just stopped breathing. I remember someone at the funeral talking to me about how it probably made me feel at peace to be there for him at the end but mostly, I hated that I was there. When my grandma started to decline, I was scared to visit because I didn't want to witness her passing as well. I sometimes feel guilty for that.
My husband was there when his grandma died a few years ago. He talks about it and says it gave him more closure than when his grandpa died unexpectedly, but it still affected him. I have a grandma and great grandma in a nursing home and he refuses to go with me to see them because just walking into one brings those memories of his grandma's death back. I've never gone through seeing a loved one die so I don't know what to say when he talks about it, all I can do is give hugs and listen.
Sometimes, that's enough.
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I spent the first five hours of my work day actually doing work stuff!
Confession: I spent the last hour eating popcorn and job searching on my phone.0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »rosehips60 wrote: »i hide m&m's in an old margarine container so my son and husband can't find them. I don't binge on them but I want to know they are there when i want a treat. I even count the darn things out so I can log them
I put small candy like m&m's, skittles, sour patch etc in a coffee cup, and if my kids come close I pretend to take a drink. *nonchalant*
Clever
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spacequiztime wrote: »
Just a standard grocery chain in the south. It's got more of a variety of foods than my local Krogers and Target
What is HEB?spacequiztime wrote: »
Oh god, I've had so many crappy trips to Wal Mart. We went to one we don't normally go to on a recent trip and someone started yelling and telling people not to look at her because they wouldn't sue her.raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Confession: I had a Target giftcard to use, so I stopped in to pick up some things I needed for my exam this weekend, and general household stuff. I also picked a pair of workout capris (pair #15, or so - obsession!)...and a pair of SIZE FOUR jeans. They are still VERY snug and totally muffin top-inducing, but they technically both zip and button so...
It counts! and I adore Target..I could live in that store for real!
Oh how I love Target! I will drive 30 minutes out of my way to go there, simply because I HATE walmart! Reminds me of a saying I saw somewhere, "Target: where you spend a little more just to avoid going to Walmart."
HEB is my favorite grocery store. I do love Target apparel though!
I've worn glasses since 6th grade and can still remember how shocking it was to be able to see the individual hairs on my cat so clearly! My last pair were busted after my car accident and I couldn't get new ones with my old prescription right away. I spent a good few weeks without them and not being able to read certain words was not fun.
I really want to buy some prescription sunglassesman. I need to stop being lazy and actually do it.
One of the best purchases I've ever made. The only thing that sucks is having to switch back to my regular glasses when going inside or when it gets too dark instead of just being able to put them on the top of my head. I love my prescription Ray Bans though. LOVE THEM!
ETA: I am also very visually challenged and have worn glasses since the 5th grade. I used to have contacts and would like to get some for my trip, but my eyes produce a lot of protein so they don't last very long and because I'm so blind, they are like $200 a pair or something ridiculous like that. My glasses are so expensive due to my strong prescription, I can only afford to have 1 pair at a time, and the only reason I have the prescription sunnies is because Lens Crafters was running a half-price sale.
I also have a very strong prescription- even with the lightest weight lenses, my glasses are thick, heavy, and very expensive! I have allergies, so my eyes produce crap several times a year. I get the disposable contacts. Mine are 2 week disposable (I clean them every night and make them last a month!), but you can get daily disposables too. You might think about disposables for vacation. Your eye doctor would probably give you a sample pair to try for free.
Edit because punctuation is hard!
I never thought about samples! I love you. Is that weird?!
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raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »
I lost my Dad to cancer at 61 in July 2012. It was pretty quick really, he had his kidney removed just over a year before, but then it came back and he deteriorated quickly. I loved my Dad totally, I feel so lucky when some people on here have talked about their upbringings because I had a great childhood.Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »bainsworth1a wrote: »IAmTheGlue wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Finally caught up! My confession is I've been drinking too much...every single day for quite awhile. I am making a commitment to not drink Monday through Thursday this week. Please think good thoughts for me!
ETA: A little embarrassed to admit this quasi publicly, but hoping admitting it on here will make me face reality. Since I know there are several of you that have admitted to stopping for good.
You are so not judged. I'm thinking about (not yet committed to ) a dry June. Yes, it is a big enough of a deal to not drink for an entire month for me but June is my worst month. My dad died 3 years ago on his and my mother's 43rd wedding anniversary, right after Father's Day. I tend to drink and cry from one to the other. I try to keep that as discrete as possible (the drinking, not the crying ) so I'm not a super horrible example to my kids but seriously, it is excessive and it needs to stop.
You are not alone. Many people struggle with cutting back on drinking.
I am sorry for your loss. My father died right after 4th of july 1990 and I still morn him. He was a shot and a beer guy and drank every night before he went to bed. I toast him with a shot and a beer on 4th of july and on his birthday in October. It makes me feel better to keep this ritual in his memory.
My dad died 26 years ago this June, 3 days before my parents wedding annivesary and again, right after Father's Day. Still miss him every day.
Funny how it never seems any easier.....my father died on Dec 3rd, 1991, I still cry every single time that anniversary passes. He died very suddenly, and inadvertently left me alone with my crazy mother, so it was really difficult. He was the person I loved most in the world, and I still miss him every day. My son is named after him, and it makes me tear up when I think about how my son never got to meet him. My sister said she cried a lot when he died too, not only because he was a great stepdad to her, but because she felt bad for the way he was treated by our mother and when he died she felt bad that he wasted so many years of his life being treated like that.
But last year, on only the second anniversary of his death I was really into what I was doing at work at the time and I completely forgot until my brother text to see of I was ok. This made me feel like I was a terrible person. Me and my brother have both always said to my mum that we don't want to mark the occasion, we'd rather continue to celebrate his birthday instead, and her brother and sisters tend to do something with her on the anniversary. But I felt awful that I didn't even realise.
I've never really been much of a crier, and tend to get on with things, but some things will really upset me. Sometimes even imagined things, like a song I think he'd have liked and I imagine him telling me about this great new singer that I was trying to get him into years before, but he'd only have recognised when they came onto radio 2. And when my brother got married last month I got quite upset when we did something to remember him, but I'd not have expected that I would have.
But I have found that it does seem easier, I love my dad and always will, he has played a big part in who I am, and although I miss him when he should be around I know how he would have felt about things and can imagine his reaction. And to me the anniversary of his death is the opposite to special and not something I want to mark.
I don't make a big deal about the day my dad died either. He also died of cancer. And we found him...He had probably got out of bed to go to the bathroom and had a stroke or he may have fallen and hit his head on the side table. My mom had stayed in the spare bedroom because he was getting Chemo and she had a cold and didn't want to affect him. She couldn't find him when she went looking for him and came running into the kitchen where I was having breakfast hysterical she couldn't find him. She thought he had committed suicide, went running for the garage to see if his car was there. When she saw it was she just looked at me like where is he? And I knew. I said 'did you look beside the bed'? She was so confused but I just knew. We went to the bedroom and looked at the far side of the bed and he was laying there. She was hysterical again and kept begging me to do something, to help him. I could tell that he had been gone for hours. I worked as a nursing *kitten*'t at the time, and she thought I should save him. It still breaks my heart that I couldn't do anything to help -- her mostly as he was long gone. I felt guilty about that for years. For years I could never say my dad had died, I only said he was gone. Apparently a lot of cancer patients don't actually die from cancer, they have strokes, etc. before the cancer kills them (at least that is what I remember the doctor telling me at the time). But the day he died is just a day. I prefer to remember all the good stuff he did, none of the bad (which my siblings like to focus on) and I simply miss him every day. But I have 'missed' the day of his death before and felt guilty to not even recognize it. I am always sad on Fathers day and I get bitter when marketers send me emails about 'gifts for dad'. I actually just got one as I was writing this. I wish I could buy my dad a gift.
And now I am sorry I probably just depressed all of you. That was heart wrenching.
My husband was actually the one that found his grandpa after he passed. He went over after work for something and he was just lying on the couch. He preformed CPR and called 911 but it was too late. He more than likely had a heart attack in his sleep. He was REALLY close to his grandpa, because growing up, his dad was in and out of prison his whole life, so his grandpa was the positive male role model in his life. He still, after almost 14 years, gets choked up when he starts talking about him.
I was there when my grandpa passed away. He was in a home and we all knew it was coming but it was still hard, he just stopped breathing. I remember someone at the funeral talking to me about how it probably made me feel at peace to be there for him at the end but mostly, I hated that I was there. When my grandma started to decline, I was scared to visit because I didn't want to witness her passing as well. I sometimes feel guilty for that.
My husband was there when his grandma died a few years ago. He talks about it and says it gave him more closure than when his grandpa died unexpectedly, but it still affected him. I have a grandma and great grandma in a nursing home and he refuses to go with me to see them because just walking into one brings those memories of his grandma's death back. I've never gone through seeing a loved one die so I don't know what to say when he talks about it, all I can do is give hugs and listen.
Sometimes, that's enough.
He still chokes up when he mentions how much he wishes Raelynn could have met them. They were very influential in his life and he was very close to them.0 -
I cheat a lot and go out to eat at fast food places. I'm addicted plus my husband is trying to gain weight0
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raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »
I do my best to be there for him, at 25 he doesn't have either one of his grandmothers and only one living grandfather, and it's rough on him. He tells me all the time to be thankful I still have the grandparents I have. My maternal grandmother (Mema) is still with us, I don't see my step-grandma or only living grandpa because they cut my parents and myself out of the family (long story), my bio grandma (paternal) committed suicide in 1983, and my granddaddy (maternal grandfather) passed from cancer in 2004. I still have my great-grandma (Mama Tucker) here at the young age of 96, and my husband tells me everyday to never forget just how blessed I am to still have her and my other grandparents. Believe me, I haven't forgotten at all.raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »
I lost my Dad to cancer at 61 in July 2012. It was pretty quick really, he had his kidney removed just over a year before, but then it came back and he deteriorated quickly. I loved my Dad totally, I feel so lucky when some people on here have talked about their upbringings because I had a great childhood.Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »bainsworth1a wrote: »IAmTheGlue wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Finally caught up! My confession is I've been drinking too much...every single day for quite awhile. I am making a commitment to not drink Monday through Thursday this week. Please think good thoughts for me!
ETA: A little embarrassed to admit this quasi publicly, but hoping admitting it on here will make me face reality. Since I know there are several of you that have admitted to stopping for good.
You are so not judged. I'm thinking about (not yet committed to ) a dry June. Yes, it is a big enough of a deal to not drink for an entire month for me but June is my worst month. My dad died 3 years ago on his and my mother's 43rd wedding anniversary, right after Father's Day. I tend to drink and cry from one to the other. I try to keep that as discrete as possible (the drinking, not the crying ) so I'm not a super horrible example to my kids but seriously, it is excessive and it needs to stop.
You are not alone. Many people struggle with cutting back on drinking.
I am sorry for your loss. My father died right after 4th of july 1990 and I still morn him. He was a shot and a beer guy and drank every night before he went to bed. I toast him with a shot and a beer on 4th of july and on his birthday in October. It makes me feel better to keep this ritual in his memory.
My dad died 26 years ago this June, 3 days before my parents wedding annivesary and again, right after Father's Day. Still miss him every day.
Funny how it never seems any easier.....my father died on Dec 3rd, 1991, I still cry every single time that anniversary passes. He died very suddenly, and inadvertently left me alone with my crazy mother, so it was really difficult. He was the person I loved most in the world, and I still miss him every day. My son is named after him, and it makes me tear up when I think about how my son never got to meet him. My sister said she cried a lot when he died too, not only because he was a great stepdad to her, but because she felt bad for the way he was treated by our mother and when he died she felt bad that he wasted so many years of his life being treated like that.
But last year, on only the second anniversary of his death I was really into what I was doing at work at the time and I completely forgot until my brother text to see of I was ok. This made me feel like I was a terrible person. Me and my brother have both always said to my mum that we don't want to mark the occasion, we'd rather continue to celebrate his birthday instead, and her brother and sisters tend to do something with her on the anniversary. But I felt awful that I didn't even realise.
I've never really been much of a crier, and tend to get on with things, but some things will really upset me. Sometimes even imagined things, like a song I think he'd have liked and I imagine him telling me about this great new singer that I was trying to get him into years before, but he'd only have recognised when they came onto radio 2. And when my brother got married last month I got quite upset when we did something to remember him, but I'd not have expected that I would have.
But I have found that it does seem easier, I love my dad and always will, he has played a big part in who I am, and although I miss him when he should be around I know how he would have felt about things and can imagine his reaction. And to me the anniversary of his death is the opposite to special and not something I want to mark.
I don't make a big deal about the day my dad died either. He also died of cancer. And we found him...He had probably got out of bed to go to the bathroom and had a stroke or he may have fallen and hit his head on the side table. My mom had stayed in the spare bedroom because he was getting Chemo and she had a cold and didn't want to affect him. She couldn't find him when she went looking for him and came running into the kitchen where I was having breakfast hysterical she couldn't find him. She thought he had committed suicide, went running for the garage to see if his car was there. When she saw it was she just looked at me like where is he? And I knew. I said 'did you look beside the bed'? She was so confused but I just knew. We went to the bedroom and looked at the far side of the bed and he was laying there. She was hysterical again and kept begging me to do something, to help him. I could tell that he had been gone for hours. I worked as a nursing *kitten*'t at the time, and she thought I should save him. It still breaks my heart that I couldn't do anything to help -- her mostly as he was long gone. I felt guilty about that for years. For years I could never say my dad had died, I only said he was gone. Apparently a lot of cancer patients don't actually die from cancer, they have strokes, etc. before the cancer kills them (at least that is what I remember the doctor telling me at the time). But the day he died is just a day. I prefer to remember all the good stuff he did, none of the bad (which my siblings like to focus on) and I simply miss him every day. But I have 'missed' the day of his death before and felt guilty to not even recognize it. I am always sad on Fathers day and I get bitter when marketers send me emails about 'gifts for dad'. I actually just got one as I was writing this. I wish I could buy my dad a gift.
And now I am sorry I probably just depressed all of you. That was heart wrenching.
My husband was actually the one that found his grandpa after he passed. He went over after work for something and he was just lying on the couch. He preformed CPR and called 911 but it was too late. He more than likely had a heart attack in his sleep. He was REALLY close to his grandpa, because growing up, his dad was in and out of prison his whole life, so his grandpa was the positive male role model in his life. He still, after almost 14 years, gets choked up when he starts talking about him.
I was there when my grandpa passed away. He was in a home and we all knew it was coming but it was still hard, he just stopped breathing. I remember someone at the funeral talking to me about how it probably made me feel at peace to be there for him at the end but mostly, I hated that I was there. When my grandma started to decline, I was scared to visit because I didn't want to witness her passing as well. I sometimes feel guilty for that.
My husband was there when his grandma died a few years ago. He talks about it and says it gave him more closure than when his grandpa died unexpectedly, but it still affected him. I have a grandma and great grandma in a nursing home and he refuses to go with me to see them because just walking into one brings those memories of his grandma's death back. I've never gone through seeing a loved one die so I don't know what to say when he talks about it, all I can do is give hugs and listen.
That's what he needs
All my grandparents are gone but my husband has both grandmas. Grandparents are truly a blessing, at least mine were.0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »@pofoster21 I thought I woke up early at 5! What time do you get up?
And by the way I HIGHLY recommend Friends (TV show) it's on Netflix now and I've watched the whole series twice! It's just so funny and it always puts me in a good mood if I'm feeling blue
I watch that when I am on the stationary bike & need something to watch:D. My favorite character has to be Chandler for the guys & Phoebe for the girls.
I think you mean Miss. Chanandler Bong and Regina Felangie. Later known as Princess Consuela Bananahammock. I'm rewatching every episode on Netflix with my daughter. Who I may or may not have named after a character on the show.
Can't forget Regina Felangie ends up marrying Mr. Crap Bag hahaha
I was going to add that, but then decided not to. I should have added that!
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raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »
I do my best to be there for him, at 25 he doesn't have either one of his grandmothers and only one living grandfather, and it's rough on him. He tells me all the time to be thankful I still have the grandparents I have. My maternal grandmother (Mema) is still with us, I don't see my step-grandma or only living grandpa because they cut my parents and myself out of the family (long story), my bio grandma (paternal) committed suicide in 1983, and my granddaddy (maternal grandfather) passed from cancer in 2004. I still have my great-grandma (Mama Tucker) here at the young age of 96, and my husband tells me everyday to never forget just how blessed I am to still have her and my other grandparents. Believe me, I haven't forgotten at all.raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »
I lost my Dad to cancer at 61 in July 2012. It was pretty quick really, he had his kidney removed just over a year before, but then it came back and he deteriorated quickly. I loved my Dad totally, I feel so lucky when some people on here have talked about their upbringings because I had a great childhood.Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »bainsworth1a wrote: »IAmTheGlue wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Finally caught up! My confession is I've been drinking too much...every single day for quite awhile. I am making a commitment to not drink Monday through Thursday this week. Please think good thoughts for me!
ETA: A little embarrassed to admit this quasi publicly, but hoping admitting it on here will make me face reality. Since I know there are several of you that have admitted to stopping for good.
You are so not judged. I'm thinking about (not yet committed to ) a dry June. Yes, it is a big enough of a deal to not drink for an entire month for me but June is my worst month. My dad died 3 years ago on his and my mother's 43rd wedding anniversary, right after Father's Day. I tend to drink and cry from one to the other. I try to keep that as discrete as possible (the drinking, not the crying ) so I'm not a super horrible example to my kids but seriously, it is excessive and it needs to stop.
You are not alone. Many people struggle with cutting back on drinking.
I am sorry for your loss. My father died right after 4th of july 1990 and I still morn him. He was a shot and a beer guy and drank every night before he went to bed. I toast him with a shot and a beer on 4th of july and on his birthday in October. It makes me feel better to keep this ritual in his memory.
My dad died 26 years ago this June, 3 days before my parents wedding annivesary and again, right after Father's Day. Still miss him every day.
Funny how it never seems any easier.....my father died on Dec 3rd, 1991, I still cry every single time that anniversary passes. He died very suddenly, and inadvertently left me alone with my crazy mother, so it was really difficult. He was the person I loved most in the world, and I still miss him every day. My son is named after him, and it makes me tear up when I think about how my son never got to meet him. My sister said she cried a lot when he died too, not only because he was a great stepdad to her, but because she felt bad for the way he was treated by our mother and when he died she felt bad that he wasted so many years of his life being treated like that.
But last year, on only the second anniversary of his death I was really into what I was doing at work at the time and I completely forgot until my brother text to see of I was ok. This made me feel like I was a terrible person. Me and my brother have both always said to my mum that we don't want to mark the occasion, we'd rather continue to celebrate his birthday instead, and her brother and sisters tend to do something with her on the anniversary. But I felt awful that I didn't even realise.
I've never really been much of a crier, and tend to get on with things, but some things will really upset me. Sometimes even imagined things, like a song I think he'd have liked and I imagine him telling me about this great new singer that I was trying to get him into years before, but he'd only have recognised when they came onto radio 2. And when my brother got married last month I got quite upset when we did something to remember him, but I'd not have expected that I would have.
But I have found that it does seem easier, I love my dad and always will, he has played a big part in who I am, and although I miss him when he should be around I know how he would have felt about things and can imagine his reaction. And to me the anniversary of his death is the opposite to special and not something I want to mark.
I don't make a big deal about the day my dad died either. He also died of cancer. And we found him...He had probably got out of bed to go to the bathroom and had a stroke or he may have fallen and hit his head on the side table. My mom had stayed in the spare bedroom because he was getting Chemo and she had a cold and didn't want to affect him. She couldn't find him when she went looking for him and came running into the kitchen where I was having breakfast hysterical she couldn't find him. She thought he had committed suicide, went running for the garage to see if his car was there. When she saw it was she just looked at me like where is he? And I knew. I said 'did you look beside the bed'? She was so confused but I just knew. We went to the bedroom and looked at the far side of the bed and he was laying there. She was hysterical again and kept begging me to do something, to help him. I could tell that he had been gone for hours. I worked as a nursing *kitten*'t at the time, and she thought I should save him. It still breaks my heart that I couldn't do anything to help -- her mostly as he was long gone. I felt guilty about that for years. For years I could never say my dad had died, I only said he was gone. Apparently a lot of cancer patients don't actually die from cancer, they have strokes, etc. before the cancer kills them (at least that is what I remember the doctor telling me at the time). But the day he died is just a day. I prefer to remember all the good stuff he did, none of the bad (which my siblings like to focus on) and I simply miss him every day. But I have 'missed' the day of his death before and felt guilty to not even recognize it. I am always sad on Fathers day and I get bitter when marketers send me emails about 'gifts for dad'. I actually just got one as I was writing this. I wish I could buy my dad a gift.
And now I am sorry I probably just depressed all of you. That was heart wrenching.
My husband was actually the one that found his grandpa after he passed. He went over after work for something and he was just lying on the couch. He preformed CPR and called 911 but it was too late. He more than likely had a heart attack in his sleep. He was REALLY close to his grandpa, because growing up, his dad was in and out of prison his whole life, so his grandpa was the positive male role model in his life. He still, after almost 14 years, gets choked up when he starts talking about him.
I was there when my grandpa passed away. He was in a home and we all knew it was coming but it was still hard, he just stopped breathing. I remember someone at the funeral talking to me about how it probably made me feel at peace to be there for him at the end but mostly, I hated that I was there. When my grandma started to decline, I was scared to visit because I didn't want to witness her passing as well. I sometimes feel guilty for that.
My husband was there when his grandma died a few years ago. He talks about it and says it gave him more closure than when his grandpa died unexpectedly, but it still affected him. I have a grandma and great grandma in a nursing home and he refuses to go with me to see them because just walking into one brings those memories of his grandma's death back. I've never gone through seeing a loved one die so I don't know what to say when he talks about it, all I can do is give hugs and listen.
That's what he needs
All my grandparents are gone but my husband has both grandmas. Grandparents are truly a blessing, at least mine were.
Very true. It bothers me that Raelynn has two great grandparents she'll probably never see due to petty drama, but she still has her grandparents and her Mema and Mama Tucker, which makes me feel better.
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xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »Confession- I've only been at work for an hour and a half and I'm already trying to come up with excuses to leave for the day. I'm tired!
I feel ya on that one. I overdid my exercise yesterday (just fast walking, but I did like 7 miles of it lol) and now my body hates me and I just want to curl up on the couch with Netflix.
How long did it take you do to 7 miles? When I walk the track I generally do 7 miles. I think my fastest time was 1 hr. and 22 min. I don't do that often anymore. I was overdoing the cardio back then. But it sure feels good every now and then.0 -
I would like to borrow those eyes.
I thought of asking my husband to trade eyes so I could see myself the way he sees me... Then I decided that I REALLY don't want him to see me the way I see me!
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qn4bx9pzg8aifd wrote: »I hesitate to admit that in seeing "Speculoos Ben & Jerry's", the first thing that popped into my mind was "Speculoos? -- that word looks like speculum (!)" -- and in suddenly having the concept of speculum followed immediately by an ice cream reference, my mind suddenly found itself doing a tango with the unthinkable -- a speculum used as an ice cream 'scoop' -- ?!!! GROSS
I keep automatically thinking of speculum too... that's why I always refer to it as "cookie butter". Lol.Second confession, every time I see the thread 'Thigh Gap?' I get really angry.
I ventured in there (I should know better) after I saw skinny chicken legs (which I have) declared unsexy.
Whenever I hear that term (thigh gap) I think of the funny purple monster in Monsters, Inc. and Monsters University! Cannot remember his name right now...0 -
I confess that I tried on a tank top last night, then came home and almost immediately tried out @BZAH10's shoulder work out. I used 2.5lb weights and quite literally felt the burn.
Welcome to the club! Hope you'll join us (err.. think it's just me at this point) making the non-perky shoulder workout video.
Yes please! I have broad shoulders but very doughy arms. I'll be the asthmatic girl in the way back, struggling to keep up.
Trust me, you won't be struggling to keep up if I'm the instructor. However, you may well be hypnotized by the batwings flapping away merrily on my twiggy arms.
My husband thinks "bingo wings" is a hilarious phrase. He used it to describe me... once. He will not be doing that again. *evil glare*
*grinning* I call them "hi Helens" because they wave when I do!0 -
Today is a bit of a roller coaster for me. I woke to find out that a dear friend had passed away. She was only 46 and from what I know had had a massive heart attack over the weekend. She has three young children. You never know when....
On the other side, my four year old has already started with the tooth loss. She had her first tooth come out this morning. So I am happy for her in this step in her development, but I am also very sad about my friend.
I'm so sorry for your loss. That is terrible.0 -
raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »
I do my best to be there for him, at 25 he doesn't have either one of his grandmothers and only one living grandfather, and it's rough on him. He tells me all the time to be thankful I still have the grandparents I have. My maternal grandmother (Mema) is still with us, I don't see my step-grandma or only living grandpa because they cut my parents and myself out of the family (long story), my bio grandma (paternal) committed suicide in 1983, and my granddaddy (maternal grandfather) passed from cancer in 2004. I still have my great-grandma (Mama Tucker) here at the young age of 96, and my husband tells me everyday to never forget just how blessed I am to still have her and my other grandparents. Believe me, I haven't forgotten at all.raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »
I lost my Dad to cancer at 61 in July 2012. It was pretty quick really, he had his kidney removed just over a year before, but then it came back and he deteriorated quickly. I loved my Dad totally, I feel so lucky when some people on here have talked about their upbringings because I had a great childhood.Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »bainsworth1a wrote: »IAmTheGlue wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Finally caught up! My confession is I've been drinking too much...every single day for quite awhile. I am making a commitment to not drink Monday through Thursday this week. Please think good thoughts for me!
ETA: A little embarrassed to admit this quasi publicly, but hoping admitting it on here will make me face reality. Since I know there are several of you that have admitted to stopping for good.
You are so not judged. I'm thinking about (not yet committed to ) a dry June. Yes, it is a big enough of a deal to not drink for an entire month for me but June is my worst month. My dad died 3 years ago on his and my mother's 43rd wedding anniversary, right after Father's Day. I tend to drink and cry from one to the other. I try to keep that as discrete as possible (the drinking, not the crying ) so I'm not a super horrible example to my kids but seriously, it is excessive and it needs to stop.
You are not alone. Many people struggle with cutting back on drinking.
I am sorry for your loss. My father died right after 4th of july 1990 and I still morn him. He was a shot and a beer guy and drank every night before he went to bed. I toast him with a shot and a beer on 4th of july and on his birthday in October. It makes me feel better to keep this ritual in his memory.
My dad died 26 years ago this June, 3 days before my parents wedding annivesary and again, right after Father's Day. Still miss him every day.
Funny how it never seems any easier.....my father died on Dec 3rd, 1991, I still cry every single time that anniversary passes. He died very suddenly, and inadvertently left me alone with my crazy mother, so it was really difficult. He was the person I loved most in the world, and I still miss him every day. My son is named after him, and it makes me tear up when I think about how my son never got to meet him. My sister said she cried a lot when he died too, not only because he was a great stepdad to her, but because she felt bad for the way he was treated by our mother and when he died she felt bad that he wasted so many years of his life being treated like that.
But last year, on only the second anniversary of his death I was really into what I was doing at work at the time and I completely forgot until my brother text to see of I was ok. This made me feel like I was a terrible person. Me and my brother have both always said to my mum that we don't want to mark the occasion, we'd rather continue to celebrate his birthday instead, and her brother and sisters tend to do something with her on the anniversary. But I felt awful that I didn't even realise.
I've never really been much of a crier, and tend to get on with things, but some things will really upset me. Sometimes even imagined things, like a song I think he'd have liked and I imagine him telling me about this great new singer that I was trying to get him into years before, but he'd only have recognised when they came onto radio 2. And when my brother got married last month I got quite upset when we did something to remember him, but I'd not have expected that I would have.
But I have found that it does seem easier, I love my dad and always will, he has played a big part in who I am, and although I miss him when he should be around I know how he would have felt about things and can imagine his reaction. And to me the anniversary of his death is the opposite to special and not something I want to mark.
I don't make a big deal about the day my dad died either. He also died of cancer. And we found him...He had probably got out of bed to go to the bathroom and had a stroke or he may have fallen and hit his head on the side table. My mom had stayed in the spare bedroom because he was getting Chemo and she had a cold and didn't want to affect him. She couldn't find him when she went looking for him and came running into the kitchen where I was having breakfast hysterical she couldn't find him. She thought he had committed suicide, went running for the garage to see if his car was there. When she saw it was she just looked at me like where is he? And I knew. I said 'did you look beside the bed'? She was so confused but I just knew. We went to the bedroom and looked at the far side of the bed and he was laying there. She was hysterical again and kept begging me to do something, to help him. I could tell that he had been gone for hours. I worked as a nursing *kitten*'t at the time, and she thought I should save him. It still breaks my heart that I couldn't do anything to help -- her mostly as he was long gone. I felt guilty about that for years. For years I could never say my dad had died, I only said he was gone. Apparently a lot of cancer patients don't actually die from cancer, they have strokes, etc. before the cancer kills them (at least that is what I remember the doctor telling me at the time). But the day he died is just a day. I prefer to remember all the good stuff he did, none of the bad (which my siblings like to focus on) and I simply miss him every day. But I have 'missed' the day of his death before and felt guilty to not even recognize it. I am always sad on Fathers day and I get bitter when marketers send me emails about 'gifts for dad'. I actually just got one as I was writing this. I wish I could buy my dad a gift.
And now I am sorry I probably just depressed all of you. That was heart wrenching.
My husband was actually the one that found his grandpa after he passed. He went over after work for something and he was just lying on the couch. He preformed CPR and called 911 but it was too late. He more than likely had a heart attack in his sleep. He was REALLY close to his grandpa, because growing up, his dad was in and out of prison his whole life, so his grandpa was the positive male role model in his life. He still, after almost 14 years, gets choked up when he starts talking about him.
I was there when my grandpa passed away. He was in a home and we all knew it was coming but it was still hard, he just stopped breathing. I remember someone at the funeral talking to me about how it probably made me feel at peace to be there for him at the end but mostly, I hated that I was there. When my grandma started to decline, I was scared to visit because I didn't want to witness her passing as well. I sometimes feel guilty for that.
My husband was there when his grandma died a few years ago. He talks about it and says it gave him more closure than when his grandpa died unexpectedly, but it still affected him. I have a grandma and great grandma in a nursing home and he refuses to go with me to see them because just walking into one brings those memories of his grandma's death back. I've never gone through seeing a loved one die so I don't know what to say when he talks about it, all I can do is give hugs and listen.
That's what he needs
All my grandparents are gone but my husband has both grandmas. Grandparents are truly a blessing, at least mine were.
Very true. It bothers me that Raelynn has two great grandparents she'll probably never see due to petty drama, but she still has her grandparents and her Mema and Mama Tucker, which makes me feel better.
My daughter got to meet one of my grandmas (paternal) but she was so little and my grandma was so out of it (not sure if that's the right way to say it. She had dementia and didn't always remember me) but we got pictures and those always make my dad feel better.
I remember telling my husband once that I wished he would have met my grandma before she got sick because she would have loved him. I'm getting choked up right now just thinking about it.0 -
blue_eyes1978 wrote: »I am not using my wii fit today. I haven't meet my goal set and today was the deal line and can't handle seeing it today.
Don't be discouraged and please don't resort to pills! Not meeting a goal just means you need to reevaluate and reset them or keep them and extend your time period. Just be active - every little bit adds up.0 -
@crosbylee I'm so sorry about your friend.
@Italian_Buju I can't even imagine what you went through, my heart breaks for you. And I hope your degu gets better.
@pofoster21 What a heartbreaking story as well. So sorry
Here's a confession: My husband plays games on his iPad. His newest game is Hay Day where you virtually take care of a farm. He was gone this weekend and I picked up his iPad to look something up and an alert said "your farm animals miss you" I decided I had to look in on them. I am now hooked on Hay Day. I feel ridiculous when I play and super ridiculous admitting it.
Edited: Because I didn't want to forget anyone
I'm completely addicted to Hay Day myself. I'm on level 54 now, and I've been playing for almost a year, multiple times daily!
My husband teases me about it, and whenever I have my face stuck in my tab, he'll go... "Checking on your chickens again, huh?"
No need to feel ridiculous, it's an awesome stress-reliever since it's so... Brainless? Kind of like coloring for me, both are destressors. At least, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!0 -
I always get kinda jealous when someone I know shows off their new pair of cheap dollar store sunglasses.girldownsouth wrote: »
I'm 32, I think I've had glasses since I was about 8 or something, and I just got my first pair of prescription sunglasses.spacequiztime wrote: »
Just a standard grocery chain in the south. It's got more of a variety of foods than my local Krogers and Target
What is HEB?spacequiztime wrote: »
Oh god, I've had so many crappy trips to Wal Mart. We went to one we don't normally go to on a recent trip and someone started yelling and telling people not to look at her because they wouldn't sue her.raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Confession: I had a Target giftcard to use, so I stopped in to pick up some things I needed for my exam this weekend, and general household stuff. I also picked a pair of workout capris (pair #15, or so - obsession!)...and a pair of SIZE FOUR jeans. They are still VERY snug and totally muffin top-inducing, but they technically both zip and button so...
It counts! and I adore Target..I could live in that store for real!
Oh how I love Target! I will drive 30 minutes out of my way to go there, simply because I HATE walmart! Reminds me of a saying I saw somewhere, "Target: where you spend a little more just to avoid going to Walmart."
HEB is my favorite grocery store. I do love Target apparel though!
I've worn glasses since 6th grade and can still remember how shocking it was to be able to see the individual hairs on my cat so clearly! My last pair were busted after my car accident and I couldn't get new ones with my old prescription right away. I spent a good few weeks without them and not being able to read certain words was not fun.
I really want to buy some prescription sunglasses man. I need to stop being lazy and actually do it.
Confession: I feel super cool in my raybans! I feel like I've missed the cool sunglasses thing up til now and I really don't know why. I've either not been able to see when wearing them or not worn them.
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