Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

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  • crosbylee
    crosbylee Posts: 3,455 Member
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    Last time I stayed at a hotel, I took some of the little cups of peanut butter from the continental breakfast. I'm eating one now, with a spoon, as a snack. :p

    Thief! Just kidding. That is a fabulous idea! I buy the little pre portioned cups of hummus so I don't have to weigh it out. It's WAY more expensive, but my time is precious and I don't want to spend it weighing out a really sad amount of hummus.

    No judgement, but store-bought hummus is sad no matter what size or form it comes in! :o You can never beat homemade hummus. In fact, I just had some that I made a couple of days ago for dinner with Iranian-style kabab kubbideh! Yum. <3

    I've been meaning to make hummus for weeks, but I'm worried that I will eat the entire batch in a week three days.

    I usually just make enough for 8 very small servings (like enough to spread on a kabab/chicken sandwich) or two big fat servings (that would make up a whole meal) or four medium servings (enough for a side dish). All that to say that I make about 500 grams of it at a time. Heh.

    Confession: I'm just really super fed-up with myself. Ever since I've started "slipping" I've basically been tightening my "restriction" belt more and more and more. Baking ingredients? Banned from the house. Sweets? Banned from the house. Butter? Banned. Sugar? Banned. And yet, I still manage to mess up, because I'm just that awesome. And you know what? I'm sick of it.

    I told my husband last night that if I keep this up, we're not going to have any food left in the house at all soon. :-/ The last straw for me was when I slipped up (2000+ calories over maintenance) because of trying to bake something (out of desperation) with a bunch of substitutes that tasted NASTY, and it turned out that I could have had the same amount of the real stuff for much less calories than that... It's like I just keep on baking because baking is "bad" (and yet I really love baking) and so tempting to do because I feel like I can't ever do it again if I'm being "good".

    So you know what I did? I threw out everything I've been doing for these last few months. Everything. I went out and I bought flour, sugars, butter, baking powder, chocolate, and then I baked a big ole batch of chocolate chip cookies. I now have a freezer full of cookies and two big bags of chocolate chips and a whole bunch of ingredients to bake more WHENEVER I WANT. And that feels freeing.

    I did slip up eat more cookies than I intended to yesterday, BUT I didn't eat the whole tray like I did every single time before this because "I have to finish these so I won't mess up again tomorrow!". Well, it's tomorrow now. There are still plenty of cookies. And there will be plenty the day after too. And I don't need to have one right now, because I can have one later. And that feels freeing, too.

    Will this work? I really have absolutely no idea. But I'm really, really, really sick of all this "forbidden" and "good" and "bad" and not being able to bake. So I'm throwing everything out of the window and starting over again. Send me good vibes?

    Sorry for the novel. :)

    I am right there with ya. Getting my house in order and reminding myself that I don't need to eat everything at once. Good vibes for you!!!
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    KylerJaye wrote: »
    ShibaEars wrote: »
    tigerThea wrote: »
    ShibaEars wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    Rabbit914 wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    Sounds like you're a naturally strong person, so you probably don't need it. I do. I'm quite the weakling. Well, physically anyway. Mentally, no. Mentally I'm known as the Boot Camp Drill Sargent in my family. Physically, well??? Let's just say that sometimes going in and out of the grocery store I step onto the automatic door thingy and the door doesn't open. Thankfully, I learned from "Toy Story" to jump up and down once or twice and the door opens. My son finds this highly amusing and will lag behind me just to watch it happen.

    See and I can picture that and it's awesome. haha

    Awesomely embarrassing, yes!

    I don't jump up and down, but sometimes I have to cha cha back and forth to catch the sensor. We'd be a blast trying to get into the store together.

    I can join your little group. I was following someone into a store one day and the door almost closed on me. Scared the crap outta me and I probably looked funny jumping out of the way. Maybe all three of us could get it to work lol.

    Apparently I walk too fast....or lack a soul, I have walked into those darn doors more than once. Maybe I'll try disco dancing up to them to give the doors a chance.

    LOL, that's what I've said about myself when they won't work :grin:

    I am currently drinking a protein shake. Why, oh why can they not make a protein powder that tastes good?!

    this stuff is yummy:
    http://www.amazon.com/SynTrax-Protein-Isolate-Roadside-Lemonade/dp/B00118661C/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1433957750&sr=8-1&keywords=lemonade+protein+powder

    Ooooh, thanks for posting that! I don't like sweet protein drinks and that's all I can ever find. Thanks again!
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    ythannah wrote: »
    I'm actually missing part of my pad on my left pinky due to an unfortunate mandolin slicer incident.

    I managed to chop off part of the pad on my left ring finger with a claw hammer, pulling a nail out of the wall.

    I also cut quite deeply into the webbing between thumb and index finger using scissors to cut up one of those plastic clamshell containers so it would take up less room in the garbage. My SO was standing watching me do it and said he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

    I am incredibly clumsy.[/quote]

    Yeowchy! I've done that. Not only is that a painful area, but almost impossible to keep immobile while healing. Forget trying to keep a bandage there.

    We bought a new set of knives several years ago and I almost lopped off the top of my left index finger. I probably should've gotten stitches, but we were going out of town for the weekend, so I just dealt with it. It was numb and crooked for a while, but thankfully it healed just fine.
  • mariat753
    mariat753 Posts: 1 Member
    Oh, lord so many of these spoke to me. Eating in the middle of the night and forgetting. Yes, I've eaten hot cocoa mix. Putting late night calories on the next day.

    My two confessions: 1) I was thin for my first 30 years and was actually anorexic in high school (96 lbs). Sometimes I wish I had that will power now. I know that's sick.
    2) Sometimes I look around my yoga class and am happy if there's someone there heavier than me.
  • CooCooPuff
    CooCooPuff Posts: 4,374 Member
    I cut into my finger with an Exacto knife while trying to add ventilation to a plastic shoe box for beetles.
  • smalltoongirl
    smalltoongirl Posts: 16 Member
    I just had over 1200 calories worth of mcdonalds
  • FroggyBug
    FroggyBug Posts: 4,883 Member
    pofoster21 wrote: »
    yay it worked! Meant to mention... my face is hysterical. Every picture I look like I am personally trying to HEAVE her over the jumps.

    Amazing picture. I wish I could have a horse!
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    So, I don't know if anyone remembers my wedding drama from way back in April*, but the short story is that my "best friend" would rather never talk to me again that work out our issues. I feel like I've broken up with a spouse. She and I have been friends longer than I've known my husband. I don't even really understand how she got this mad, and she won't tell me. And that is why I'm taking the Boo Radley challenge (not really, but I'm very sad).

    *Cliff notes: She was helping me plan, I decided to elope for many valid reasons, she couldn't make it, she felt I cut her out.

    Well, now that's ridiculous! It's on HER to express her feelings to you. Eloping was your and your husbands choice only. Best friend / BFF whatever. She should know that she doesn't have preference over your wedding choices! Ugh. Sorry you're dealing with that, but this is her problem, not yours.

    Thank you. I am very disappointed that she is going with the passive aggressive silent treatment rather than being an adult and talking it out with me. I definitely told her how I felt about the situation and sincerely apologized for hurting her feelings. Oh well. I feel like I've done the right thing on my end.

    Pretty sure she's too embarrassed to say that she wanted to plan your wedding and make decisions or influence you or whatever or even live it vicariously through you. Instead of admitting that she's pouting and causing even more of a gap between you. I hope you can work through it at some point if you feel the friendship is worth it.
  • ShibaEars
    ShibaEars Posts: 3,928 Member
    Confession: I'm a bad friend. My best friend is moving into a new house in a couple weeks. She created an event thing on Facebook asking people to come help them move. I have no desire to help them. I hate moving myself, why would I want to move someone else? I'm also not overly fond of her family, or her husband and his family (who will be there). What makes me feel worse about my laziness is that she's 8 months pregnant and isn't able to do any of the moving/lifting. In my defense she will have (at least) her husband, 2 brothers-in-law, 1 sister-in- law (and her boyfriend), and most likely both sets of parents moving them. So... with 7-9 people helping, do I really need to be there? I feel terrible, but I still don't want to do it.
  • berlynnwall
    berlynnwall Posts: 669 Member
    pofoster21 wrote: »
    pofoster21 wrote: »
    FroggyBug wrote: »
    FroggyBug wrote: »
    Ok, so what would you all think about your husband/boyfriend/SO sexting coworkers.

    I'm stuggling with my feelings right now. :(

    All of the NOPE! Not okay! It's cheating...

    Thanks for the replies guys. This is why my heart is broken and I've been so (BEYOND) depressed lately. I haven't talked to him since last Sunday. I have cried every day.

    I did the bad thing and checked on his phone because he's been so secretive (I was able to guess the password). I saw a lot of things that I never wanted to see.

    I love him so I'm struggling with my feelings right now. I know most people can't change but maybe therapy? I don't know. I am in that strange place where I don't want to be without him but I don't want to be with him if he can't change. :'(

    Sorry to complain. I feel like it's cheating too since it's a violation of trust and he is being inappropriate. We are going to meet up Friday to talk. This is the guy I've been with for almost 11 years.

    I would be pissed, like I said in my last post, I would want to freak out.....

    I have read a lot of the posts that say it is a deal breaker, and while some people feel that way, I do not always think it is that easy.

    If it is some guy you have been with a few months or something, of course, get out right away. But if it is someone you have been with for many years and otherwise the relationship is good and this is not repeat behavior, IMO you really have to decide if it is something worth throwing the whole relationship out.

    I know this might not be a popular opinion, but I do not believe the monogamy is natural for humans. Most animals are not monogamous. Even if you are doing your best to be monogamous, sometimes you become drawn to something you cannot control.

    I am a firm believer that some people will always cheat, and some people may never, but given the right set of circumstances EVERYONE is capable of cheating. Ever see the movie Unfaithful? Perfect example.

    I actually agree with you that people are not naturally monogamous. But unless both sides are aware and have a agreement to behave or think openly about that, sexting or carrying on a affair is cheating. You are breaking an agreement between 2 people to have a singular and committed relationship, and you are hiding this fact from the other person in the relationship. That is what I object to. If you need the rules of the relationship changed, you need a discussion with your partner and they either agree or don't agree. Sneaking around behind someone's back is always wrong.

    I am not disagreeing, I consider it cheating as well. My point was that it is really hard for most people to be monogamous because it is unnatural, so if it is an otherwise great relationship and this is a one time occurrence after a decade, is it really worth losing that?

    A lot of people struggle their whole lives to be monogamous because that is what society accepts, and sometimes, even though that is our intent, we fail.

    Sorry, I was to edit this for spelling and also to add something but my phone was being stupid....so now I am on the laptop...

    I wanted to add that I was only trying to show the other side of all the posts that say it is a deal breaker 100%, because IMO it is not always. You have to look at the big picture.

    I think that is fair. Other posters said the same thing along the lines of if he is truly remorseful and you can forgive, then maybe you can move past it. Its possible. But I wouldn't want to stay in a relationship where trust was gone and could never be restored. But like most things in life, everything is individual so each person in the end has to make the decision that is right for them.

    I agree. A few people said that if she stays she should insist on full rights to check his phone, internet, pockets etc. I feel like I need to say this, and it's not necessarily 100% related to your post so I apologize. I just want to caution people in this situation that that is no way to live. It is exhausting and if you think about it, what is the outcome? Either you drive yourself crazy looking for proof that they are lying and you get so focused on that that you lose the love you had for them, or you find the proof you wanted and you have lost all trust and intimacy and the love you had for them. If it's to a point where you feel like you have to search your partner for contraband, I'm sorry, but that relationship is over.

    I agree 100% with this, but for one itty bitty factor: I caught a guy I was dating having an online relationship on the side. I freaked out and he swore he'd never do it again. He thereafter put passwords on ALL of his electronic devices. I then dumped him promptly. If he hadn't put passwords on all of his devices/acted suspiciously, I probably would have given us more of a shot, but the fact that he reacted to being caught cheating with more secrecy was all the proof I needed that he had no intention of changing.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's not necessarily about constantly checking up or looking over your shoulder or being suspicious, it's about whether he's being honest and forthright and open. I know other people probably aren't looking at it from that point of view, but that's where I'm coming from.

    I get that. It's the overall feeling that you can trust your partner that is important. What your ex did clearly showed you couldn't trust him.

  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,371 Member
    ShibaEars wrote: »
    Whenever I email/text my gym partner, EVERY response I get from her starts with "haha". I'm all for throwing in a laugh here and there, but not every reply needs it. And it's always in the same place. :angry:

    Trivial, I know.

    I am guilty of overusing the 'LOL'. I don't know why I do it; it's like a compulsion.

    I'm afraid I do this too. I used to use "ha ha" a lot in older written hard copy correspondence though, so I've had the habit a long time.

    I tend to be a bit sarcastic at times so I like to make the point that I'm trying to be funny, not snarky.
  • MoHousdon
    MoHousdon Posts: 8,723 Member
    So, I don't know if anyone remembers my wedding drama from way back in April*, but the short story is that my "best friend" would rather never talk to me again that work out our issues. I feel like I've broken up with a spouse. She and I have been friends longer than I've known my husband. I don't even really understand how she got this mad, and she won't tell me. And that is why I'm taking the Boo Radley challenge (not really, but I'm very sad).

    *Cliff notes: She was helping me plan, I decided to elope for many valid reasons, she couldn't make it, she felt I cut her out.

    :(
    I remember that. It always stinks to lose a friendship. It was your day.

    Also, never loan money to a friend. I have been without one of my best friends for years because I loaned her something like $600 in 2004 (which I never saw again, even though she took her kids to Cancun with her tax refund a few months after the loan). Honestly, I don't even care about that money. We've been trying to rebuild the friendship over the past couple of years, and it's been really tough - even harder because I don't live in the same town anymore.

    Or family member. If you want to help them out or whatever, look at it as a gift. In doing so, you aren't expecting them to pay back the money so you're not hurt/angry when and if they don't. If they DO pay back the money, that's just a bonus.

    I experienced this first hand when I recently "gifted" my brother and his family money (around $1000) so they could get out of debt they incurred while my brother was in jail. (Long story of wrongful imprisonment for 9 months while his trial kept getting put off and pushed back). It felt great to be in a place where we could help them out and not NEED to be paid back.

    Long story short or vise versa, if you want to give someone money, give it to them with no expectation of it getting paid back. If you DO expect to be paid back, sign a contract stating the agreement between each party and have that *kitten* notarized or it's just a piece of paper.

  • Susieq_1994
    Susieq_1994 Posts: 5,361 Member
    Not really a confession but I just have to share.

    My baby was super demanding this morning and woke up about 15 minutes earlier than usual which threw off my entire morning. I didn't get a chance to pack my lunch so I had to visit the office cafe for lunch. I chose a pretty responsible lunch but it took EVERYTHING IN ME not to grab a bag of rosemary and olive oil kettle chips. I kept running the numbers over in my head and I couldn't make it fit my deficit so I grabbed a banana with my wrap and left.

    I'm proud that I didn't buy the chips but I guess the confession is that I REALLY wanted those chips.

    That makes the fact that you DIDN'T buy them even more special! Great job! :)
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    ShibaEars wrote: »
    Confession: I'm a bad friend. My best friend is moving into a new house in a couple weeks. She created an event thing on Facebook asking people to come help them move. I have no desire to help them. I hate moving myself, why would I want to move someone else? I'm also not overly fond of her family, or her husband and his family (who will be there). What makes me feel worse about my laziness is that she's 8 months pregnant and isn't able to do any of the moving/lifting. In my defense she will have (at least) her husband, 2 brothers-in-law, 1 sister-in- law (and her boyfriend), and most likely both sets of parents moving them. So... with 7-9 people helping, do I really need to be there? I feel terrible, but I still don't want to do it.

    Nope, you don't need to be there, nor should you feel terrible! I hate moving also, so I'm pretty sure you already have plans for that weekend, correct?
  • TaurianDoll
    TaurianDoll Posts: 111 Member
    Not really a confession but I just have to share.

    My baby was super demanding this morning and woke up about 15 minutes earlier than usual which threw off my entire morning. I didn't get a chance to pack my lunch so I had to visit the office cafe for lunch. I chose a pretty responsible lunch but it took EVERYTHING IN ME not to grab a bag of rosemary and olive oil kettle chips. I kept running the numbers over in my head and I couldn't make it fit my deficit so I grabbed a banana with my wrap and left.

    I'm proud that I didn't buy the chips but I guess the confession is that I REALLY wanted those chips.

    That makes the fact that you DIDN'T buy them even more special! Great job! :)

    Thanks! (I still want those chips lol)
  • riderfangal
    riderfangal Posts: 1,965 Member
    ShibaEars wrote: »
    Confession: I'm a bad friend. My best friend is moving into a new house in a couple weeks. She created an event thing on Facebook asking people to come help them move. I have no desire to help them. I hate moving myself, why would I want to move someone else? I'm also not overly fond of her family, or her husband and his family (who will be there). What makes me feel worse about my laziness is that she's 8 months pregnant and isn't able to do any of the moving/lifting. In my defense she will have (at least) her husband, 2 brothers-in-law, 1 sister-in- law (and her boyfriend), and most likely both sets of parents moving them. So... with 7-9 people helping, do I really need to be there? I feel terrible, but I still don't want to do it.

    I never ask people to help me move. I hire movers. It's an awful job so why would I subject my friends and family to it ;)
  • berlynnwall
    berlynnwall Posts: 669 Member
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    So today my husband comes home - he's currently on an away a week/home a week work schedule. Needless to say I'll be busy today trying to look like I've completely done ALL the jobs I planned to do when he was away, clean the house etc etc.

    He's not a tyrant in any way, but because I'm not working at the moment, I think it's my job to do everything around the house so that he doesn't have to be concerned about it. I always feel like I need to have something to show for my free time - 'Look at this clean house!' or 'I did the garden!' or 'Here, I single handedly sanded and stained this big-@ss deck! Be pleased with me!'

    Got any tips for others? Lol! I probably have to be the worst housewife ever, I seriously suck at it. :flushed:

    ETA: It's to the point hubby calls me when he's headed home, just to give me a heads up to get dinner started and clean up. Usually he's an hour or so away, so then it's a mad scramble to make it look like I've actually done something. Sigh, I hope the doctors office is quick with an appointment, I piss myself off being like this. Ugh.

    When my kids were younger, I tried this website http://www.flylady.net/. She sends you daily or weekly emails (your choice) with suggested chores, and she has some helpful starting tips and a suggested weekly schedule of what room to work on when in addition to general picking up and dishes. I found it helpful when my life was really hectic.

    I just signed up for their emails because I am awwwwwful at working full time and being a mom and working out and keeping a tidy house. There, I said it.

    Hey, I think a lot of people have a hard time juggling everything we are supposed to do. No shame.
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,371 Member
    ShibaEars wrote: »
    Confession: I'm a bad friend. My best friend is moving into a new house in a couple weeks. She created an event thing on Facebook asking people to come help them move. I have no desire to help them. I hate moving myself, why would I want to move someone else? I'm also not overly fond of her family, or her husband and his family (who will be there). What makes me feel worse about my laziness is that she's 8 months pregnant and isn't able to do any of the moving/lifting. In my defense she will have (at least) her husband, 2 brothers-in-law, 1 sister-in- law (and her boyfriend), and most likely both sets of parents moving them. So... with 7-9 people helping, do I really need to be there? I feel terrible, but I still don't want to do it.

    No, everyone else will be tripping over one another as it is, no need for another body.
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    We bought a new set of knives several years ago and I almost lopped off the top of my left index finger. I probably should've gotten stitches, but we were going out of town for the weekend, so I just dealt with it. It was numb and crooked for a while, but thankfully it healed just fine.

    All of my knives are ridiculously dull because otherwise I would be missing bits of fingers by now. I bought a couple of new sharp ones for my SO and I don't use them. He used to try and tell me "it's easier to cut yourself with a dull knife than a sharp one" blah blah until he saw me in action... now he's perfectly happy that I stay away from the sharp ones.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    @LadyAbsynthe, I tried to go back and find your post, but couldn't, so I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you are still struggling with that issue, but it's great that you can reason with yourself and know that that behavior won't solve problems. It only adds to it.

    Also, give up the idea that you "should" feel a certain way. That is not true. Our feelings are valid regardless of what they are.

    My son has a personal issue he deals with daily and has learned some coping skills, but it is a daily battle. He seems to think that it should go away, but I tell him that we all have inner struggles and sometimes they last a lifetime. As long as you can have that dialogue with yourself in your head and talk yourself through it, then that is a success. Yes, we may have to do it every. single. day. So what? Small price to pay if that is what gets us through each day.
  • JPW1990
    JPW1990 Posts: 2,424 Member
    pofoster21 wrote: »
    JPW1990 wrote: »
    I am totally judging on a female that keeps posting threads with fitness model pictures and says she wants to look like them, but she has 140 pounds to lose! I want to go tell her that she is setting herself up for failure. Baby steps, honey, baby steps!

    But I don't think that would be well received.

    I saw one of those. It seemed like a little too perfect set up for people to roll in and tell her how wrong she was. I suppose it might have been sincere, but I'm guessing POE.

    What is POE?
    The natural evolution of Poe's Law:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe's_law

    It starts with someone who is parodying the view they disagree with so well they sound like the real thing. A POE is someone who makes a fake acct/creates a fake persona for the sole purpose of play acting at the side they disagree with so that their normal identity has something to argue with. Basically, trolling for people with way too much free time on their hands.
  • Susieq_1994
    Susieq_1994 Posts: 5,361 Member
    Since everyone is talking about clumsiness... Here's my clumsy story from last week:

    In the space of twenty four hours, I did the following:
    - Scraped my hand on a loose screw-end in my kitchen cabinet while putting away a container of Coke cans
    - Ripped off a nice big chunk of my knuckle and the skin of my thumb while changing a water cooler bottle (no, I don't know how I did that either)
    - Scraped and bruised my right hand by smashing it against a sharp edge in my silverware drawer
    - Cut off a piece of my thumb with a knife while chopping vegetables

    Boy, did my hands sting every time I had to use them for anything that week...

    Also, there was this one time where I got a nice huge cut on my thumb while chopping onions for sloppy joes. As I served lunch, I told my husband that I hoped he didn't mind eating part of my thumb, because it was probably in his food somewhere. I'm surprised he still ate that meal... ;)
  • nonoelmo
    nonoelmo Posts: 3,941 Member
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    pofoster21 wrote: »
    pofoster21 wrote: »
    FroggyBug wrote: »
    FroggyBug wrote: »
    Ok, so what would you all think about your husband/boyfriend/SO sexting coworkers.

    I'm stuggling with my feelings right now. :(

    All of the NOPE! Not okay! It's cheating...

    Thanks for the replies guys. This is why my heart is broken and I've been so (BEYOND) depressed lately. I haven't talked to him since last Sunday. I have cried every day.

    I did the bad thing and checked on his phone because he's been so secretive (I was able to guess the password). I saw a lot of things that I never wanted to see.

    I love him so I'm struggling with my feelings right now. I know most people can't change but maybe therapy? I don't know. I am in that strange place where I don't want to be without him but I don't want to be with him if he can't change. :'(

    Sorry to complain. I feel like it's cheating too since it's a violation of trust and he is being inappropriate. We are going to meet up Friday to talk. This is the guy I've been with for almost 11 years.

    I would be pissed, like I said in my last post, I would want to freak out.....

    I have read a lot of the posts that say it is a deal breaker, and while some people feel that way, I do not always think it is that easy.

    If it is some guy you have been with a few months or something, of course, get out right away. But if it is someone you have been with for many years and otherwise the relationship is good and this is not repeat behavior, IMO you really have to decide if it is something worth throwing the whole relationship out.

    I know this might not be a popular opinion, but I do not believe the monogamy is natural for humans. Most animals are not monogamous. Even if you are doing your best to be monogamous, sometimes you become drawn to something you cannot control.

    I am a firm believer that some people will always cheat, and some people may never, but given the right set of circumstances EVERYONE is capable of cheating. Ever see the movie Unfaithful? Perfect example.

    I actually agree with you that people are not naturally monogamous. But unless both sides are aware and have a agreement to behave or think openly about that, sexting or carrying on a affair is cheating. You are breaking an agreement between 2 people to have a singular and committed relationship, and you are hiding this fact from the other person in the relationship. That is what I object to. If you need the rules of the relationship changed, you need a discussion with your partner and they either agree or don't agree. Sneaking around behind someone's back is always wrong.

    I am not disagreeing, I consider it cheating as well. My point was that it is really hard for most people to be monogamous because it is unnatural, so if it is an otherwise great relationship and this is a one time occurrence after a decade, is it really worth losing that?

    A lot of people struggle their whole lives to be monogamous because that is what society accepts, and sometimes, even though that is our intent, we fail.

    Sorry, I was to edit this for spelling and also to add something but my phone was being stupid....so now I am on the laptop...

    I wanted to add that I was only trying to show the other side of all the posts that say it is a deal breaker 100%, because IMO it is not always. You have to look at the big picture.

    I think that is fair. Other posters said the same thing along the lines of if he is truly remorseful and you can forgive, then maybe you can move past it. Its possible. But I wouldn't want to stay in a relationship where trust was gone and could never be restored. But like most things in life, everything is individual so each person in the end has to make the decision that is right for them.

    I agree. A few people said that if she stays she should insist on full rights to check his phone, internet, pockets etc. I feel like I need to say this, and it's not necessarily 100% related to your post so I apologize. I just want to caution people in this situation that that is no way to live. It is exhausting and if you think about it, what is the outcome? Either you drive yourself crazy looking for proof that they are lying and you get so focused on that that you lose the love you had for them, or you find the proof you wanted and you have lost all trust and intimacy and the love you had for them. If it's to a point where you feel like you have to search your partner for contraband, I'm sorry, but that relationship is over.

    THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS! Sorry to yell, but this is a very important point.

    I think it's important too. Unfortunately, I think this is the type of thing that people have to experience on their own before they get that it's a waste of time. I've actually had women tell me that I'm naive and "asking to be cheated on" because I don't invade my husband's privacy constantly. Nope x1000000

    So true! If I felt the need to check up on my husband then clearly we aren't right for each other. He and I aren't even on the same cell phone plan. He doesn't know the security code to my phone and I have no idea if he uses one or not. I've nothing to hide and neither does he. Besides, if he DID cheat, I'd find out. But this is the 2nd marriage for both of us, so we've agreed to tell each other and get divorced should one or the other of us decide we wanted someone else.

    My SO travels and is gone 50% or so of the time. He is in great places and he is athletic and handsome and intelligent and super nice. He "could" have his choice of other company and I probably would not know for awhile. I trust him. He trusts me. If the trust were not there I would not date him.
  • raelynnsmama52512
    raelynnsmama52512 Posts: 1,184 Member
    ythannah wrote: »
    I'm actually missing part of my pad on my left pinky due to an unfortunate mandolin slicer incident.


    I managed to chop off part of the pad on my left ring finger with a claw hammer, pulling a nail out of the wall.

    I also cut quite deeply into the webbing between thumb and index finger using scissors to cut up one of those plastic clamshell containers so it would take up less room in the garbage. My SO was standing watching me do it and said he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

    I am incredibly clumsy.

    edit: messy quote tags

    Just for reference lol. I joke I've got the illuminati at my fingertips lmao. It looks way better than it did, and I won't torture you all with the pics hubby took right after I cut it. (Funny story, he actually retrieved the missing piece of my finger, put it in a plastic bag, and carried it to the ER with us in a lunchbox with a freezer pack. Dr appreciated his efforts, but said there was no way to reattach and since it was a small part, not much point either way. I had to go because we couldn't make the bleeding stop.)

    6df7wi1lafjc.jpg
    jeradf9ewiw1.jpg
  • FroggyBug
    FroggyBug Posts: 4,883 Member
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    LBuehrle8 wrote: »
    JPW1990 wrote: »
    I just finished reading the "You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?" thread and now am feeling very grateful for my friends and family. I have only had good comments about my weight loss, so far. Of course, I still have a long ways to go. But man, reading that thread made me realize how rude and unsupportive some people are.

    I first got down to my normal weight nearly 20 years ago. I went from around 500 to around 175. People who didn't recognize me treated me completely differently than they did when I was big. I got smiles and courtesy, doors held open - and I don't mean flirting, it was men and women, any ages, the way they treated me was night and day. People who were absolutely cold and wouldn't acknowledge me before would go out of their way to say hi.

    Overall, I'd say that had a far bigger impact on me than the random "you need to eat a hot pocket" type comments I'd get once in a while. I'm very distrustful of people in general, now. It takes a very long time before I decide if they're actually a nice person, or if they're a "nice as long as you fit my cookie cutter mold" person. Outside of some dysfunctional family relationships, most of the comments like those in that thread will stop after people get used to seeing the smaller version of the person, but the really rude and unsupportive people are far more subtle.

    I've noticed that too, in the opposite direction. I used to be in great shape and everyone wanted to talk to me and hang out. Now I'm in not so great shape and it's like I'm invisible. People are awful.

    Sometimes I feel like this:

    gyubpbhza86b.jpg

    This makes me sad :'( I'd be your friend!

    Me too.

    Same I'd hang out with you. :)

  • LH85DC
    LH85DC Posts: 231 Member
    pofoster21 wrote: »
    sngqfx8x5p1k.jpg

    Sharing a picture of Phoebe and me from Sunday. We moved up to 3' (tried a few years ago and we had a few issues, so backed down and have been working on it every since -- my issues not hers) and tried again this past Sunday. She was amazing and we ROCKED it. :)

    Plus, this is my first time trying to post a photo in here from my computer. I made it work on tablet, have never been able to figure out phone, so let's see if desktop works!

    What a great photo!! Congrats on improving up to 3'!
  • CooCooPuff
    CooCooPuff Posts: 4,374 Member
    ShibaEars wrote: »
    Confession: I'm a bad friend. My best friend is moving into a new house in a couple weeks. She created an event thing on Facebook asking people to come help them move. I have no desire to help them. I hate moving myself, why would I want to move someone else? I'm also not overly fond of her family, or her husband and his family (who will be there). What makes me feel worse about my laziness is that she's 8 months pregnant and isn't able to do any of the moving/lifting. In my defense she will have (at least) her husband, 2 brothers-in-law, 1 sister-in- law (and her boyfriend), and most likely both sets of parents moving them. So... with 7-9 people helping, do I really need to be there? I feel terrible, but I still don't want to do it.
    I wouldn't feel bad about it. With all the family around, things could get pretty heated and it's not something you need to force yourself to go through.

  • LBuehrle8
    LBuehrle8 Posts: 4,044 Member
    ShibaEars wrote: »
    Confession: I'm a bad friend. My best friend is moving into a new house in a couple weeks. She created an event thing on Facebook asking people to come help them move. I have no desire to help them. I hate moving myself, why would I want to move someone else? I'm also not overly fond of her family, or her husband and his family (who will be there). What makes me feel worse about my laziness is that she's 8 months pregnant and isn't able to do any of the moving/lifting. In my defense she will have (at least) her husband, 2 brothers-in-law, 1 sister-in- law (and her boyfriend), and most likely both sets of parents moving them. So... with 7-9 people helping, do I really need to be there? I feel terrible, but I still don't want to do it.

    She better be offering a free meal of some sort! My friends and I would foot the bill for some pizzas, pop, and such whenever one of us needed help moving. I'm right there with you though, I absolutely HATE moving! I'm a horrible human being but if there's no incentive I'm not helping. In all honesty I'd never expect friends to just up and help me move without some sort of "thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to help a pal out" gift :)
  • JPW1990
    JPW1990 Posts: 2,424 Member
    ythannah wrote: »
    ShibaEars wrote: »
    Whenever I email/text my gym partner, EVERY response I get from her starts with "haha". I'm all for throwing in a laugh here and there, but not every reply needs it. And it's always in the same place. :angry:

    Trivial, I know.

    I am guilty of overusing the 'LOL'. I don't know why I do it; it's like a compulsion.

    I'm afraid I do this too. I used to use "ha ha" a lot in older written hard copy correspondence though, so I've had the habit a long time.

    I tend to be a bit sarcastic at times so I like to make the point that I'm trying to be funny, not snarky.

    And that's also the source of my overuse of smileys.
  • berlynnwall
    berlynnwall Posts: 669 Member
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    So, I don't know if anyone remembers my wedding drama from way back in April*, but the short story is that my "best friend" would rather never talk to me again that work out our issues. I feel like I've broken up with a spouse. She and I have been friends longer than I've known my husband. I don't even really understand how she got this mad, and she won't tell me. And that is why I'm taking the Boo Radley challenge (not really, but I'm very sad).

    *Cliff notes: She was helping me plan, I decided to elope for many valid reasons, she couldn't make it, she felt I cut her out.

    Well, now that's ridiculous! It's on HER to express her feelings to you. Eloping was your and your husbands choice only. Best friend / BFF whatever. She should know that she doesn't have preference over your wedding choices! Ugh. Sorry you're dealing with that, but this is her problem, not yours.

    Thank you. I am very disappointed that she is going with the passive aggressive silent treatment rather than being an adult and talking it out with me. I definitely told her how I felt about the situation and sincerely apologized for hurting her feelings. Oh well. I feel like I've done the right thing on my end.

    Pretty sure she's too embarrassed to say that she wanted to plan your wedding and make decisions or influence you or whatever or even live it vicariously through you. Instead of admitting that she's pouting and causing even more of a gap between you. I hope you can work through it at some point if you feel the friendship is worth it.

    I bet you are right. She is a big control freak. I am too, so I recognize the signs ;). I really love her, but I don't know if things can ever be the same after this completely ridiculous situation.
  • MoHousdon
    MoHousdon Posts: 8,723 Member

    BZAH10 wrote: »
    I really love this thread. You guys have helped me through a pretty hard time, and I have seen you help so many other people through hard times as well. People on the internet can be awful, but they can also be great. Best thread ever.

    Same here. This thread has affected my life in many ways. All good ways, which is why I struggle so much to keep up. But I have to accept that I cannot. I have to balance it out with real life, but I'll be here for as long as this thread exists!

    Same for me too. I feel like I've really gotten to know some of you really well, especially when we did the real name thing. Several hundred pages back. I've learned a lot and am very grateful for all of you. Thanks for being so accepting and friendly. Never go away, okay?!